Warning: This fiction was created by the twisted minds of Pepe Lepew and
Kinky Typo. Both of these writers have been notified as highly insane and
their stories have been labeled as "outrageously hilarious" and "highly
idiotic."
Beware: Characters in this story are entirely . . .umm. . .primitive and must be handled with caution. Nudity, profanities, exposure to stupidity, embarrassing sexual situations, saiyan mating calls and rituals, and a ton more of strange things will occur in this story.
Symptoms of Exposure: Outrageous outburst of uncontrollable laughter; laughter so hard that tearing of the eyes may occur. If these symptoms occur stop reading, take a brake, and then continue where you left off.
Disclaimer: Pepe and Typo hold no ownership of any Dragon Ball Z characters, except for Vegeta who's chained to our doghouse outside our home! ^_^ Just joking, we don't hold any ownership over anything other than the story line and the cardboard boxes we live in! Enjoy!!!
PLANET OF THE SAIYANS
Bulma sat quietly in her "dressing room" waiting for the other women to finish their little model run. In all truth she was surprised beyond belief that she even did such a thing! Yet it was sooo worth it when she saw the look on Mya's face as she exited the stage.
"Try to mess with the great Bulma Briefs did she? Ha! That'll teach her!" Bulma said to herself as she began to comb through her long blue tresses, mutter things as she did so.
She was so into her brushing that she didn't hear her intruder until hands came over her eyes making her squeal in surprise.
"Guess who?"
"Gohan!!! Get your chubby perverted hands off my face!" She yelled as she stood up and swirled around. The young boy in front of her only grinned.
"That was some stunt you pulled early," Bulma stated as she picked up some clothes off the floor that she picked out for the next test, "you could have ruined my routine." She didn't sound the least upset, more like stating a fact.
"Yeah, but I was great wasn't I?" Gohan said snidely as he checked himself out in a mirror. He turned this way and that, looking at his backside a little more than a man should. "Does this make my butt look big?"
Bulma rolled her eyes at his last comment and decided not to even bother to acknowledging it. She pulled the dividing curtain between them and replaced her bathing suite with the clothing she was to wear.
"Yeah Gohan, you were great," she said sarcastically. "I bet you felt special being with all those half naked women." Bulma didn't even need to look at him to see the big toothy grin that popped up on his face, she new he was smiling and very confident in himself.
Gohan was so pleased with himself. He had just pulled off one of his biggest schemes yet . . . and it hadn't backfired! That was until . . .
"Yeah . . .I'm sure Prince Vegeta didn't mind you being with me." Bulma said, waving her hand as she did so, as if she was passing it off. "I mean, we're not even mates . . . and I'm SURE that the other guys could give a rat's ass about the OTHER women . . ."
Gohan's cheerful face vaulted. His once tan skin turned deathly pale. "Y—you don't think he was upset, do you?"
"Who?" Bulma asked as if she didn't know already. She turned her back to the curtain and began to shift through things in her vanity, pretending to look for something.
"PRINCE VEGETA!!!" Gohan cried in exasperation and a hint of foreboding fear.
Bulma was about to reply to the boy when the next whistle sounded and once again, a whole stampede of women started. She pulled open the curtain to see a ghostly white boy in front of her staring at nothingness.
"Well. . .I'm off to the next test. Wish me luck!" She bent down and was about to give him a peck on the cheek but she was thrown back in shock when he let out a terrified yell and took off running from her as if she had the bubonic plague.
Bulma sat on the cave floor for a moment, blinking, her mind trying to process what had just happen. Then, once the information was analyzed, she let out an almost insane cackle. "Well . . . That's one pervert down, nine hundred ninety nine to go." And at that she stood, brushed the dust off her rump and went to join the other women outside.
* * *
Vegeta sat broodingly in the stands of the coliseum [which was, in fact, nothing more than a high rise of wooden bleachers surrounding an obstacle course]. How dare those men talk about his woman! He shot another death glare for the hundredth time in five minutes to the men that were huddled away from him. "Uh eh huh MINE!!!!" He yelled at them, telling him that he was claiming her for his own. They scooted farther away, causing them to squish together at the ends of the bleachers, leaving Vegeta to sit by himself in the center.
Vegeta continued to mutter curses at the other males until his attention was brought to the course in front of him. He watched as the women were being brought out to stretch and take a look at the obstacle they would have to overcome. His eyes quickly began to search for his little goddess and he spotted her instantly. His dark eyes lit up when he saw her walk with those curvy hips swaying and those big uggas bou—
"HEY!!" Goku said as he patted his daydreaming prince on the back, bringing Vegeta out of his staring. "Uh ei ah ha he?"
"Hmph" Vegeta snorted to his question. Of course he wasn't hungry!—well maybe hungry for something else. . . a lusty grin spread over his face.
* * *
Bulma jumped in surprised when she heard the "Tarzan call". She heard the other women giggling and saw them blushing at the sound. She began looking wildly for the maker of the noise, curiosity eating at her and then she spotted the speaker . . . damn her curious mind.
Bulma could of died then and there at her embarrassment. There, on the stands, stood a roaring, chest pounding, Saiyan Prince, wearing a loincloth, "cat calling" her from the stands. If she had been a little less embarrassed, she would of ran. But instead, she stood there staring at him frozen in mortification.
"Well," she heard Chichi's urging voice, "call him back."
Bulma's head slowly turned to face the woman, her left eye twitching. "Are you mad?!"
Bulma was about to give Chichi a list of why she SHOULDN'T call back to him when a feminine "Tarzan call" came from the giggling huddled women. She turned to see who had called him back and nearly exploded when she saw that Mia was the caller.
"HOW DARE SHE!"
Chichi covered her mouth to keep from laughing at the enraged Bulma. So, the blue haired woman DID have a sweet spot for the handsome prince. Her laughter quickly faded when Bulma balled up her fist and began to march over to Mya's group. Luckily for Chichi, she was able to grab Bulma before she reached them.
Bulma began to struggle against her captor. "Let me go! I'm gonna' pound her to a pulp!!! Let me at 'em! Let me at 'em!" She commenced in swinging her fist wildly in the air as Chichi dragged her away a few yards.
"Calm down Miss Bulma," Chichi desperately pleaded. Sheesh! What was this girl running on?! One advancement on her man and she goes ballistic!
Bulma slowly started to calm down and relax, taking long deep breaths as she did so. As she tried to explain her lapse of sanity to herself her eyes fell upon her second trial—the rock wall
'I'll show her!' Bulma thought to herself. She knew that the rock wall would be no problem for her because cliff climbing had been her favorite sport when she was younger and had indulged into the sport whenever she could get away from school or work. She was defiantly gonna' kick Mya's butt on this course!
As Bulma surveyed the wall and began to conjure up her path to the top, Chichi turned to Bulma and interrupted her train of thought. "There are some new terms for this round of the competitions that you should probably know about." She said with a bit of nervousness in her voice.
Bulma didn't even glance her way as she continued to let her eyes skim over the wall. " Go on, I'm sure I can handle them." Bulma brushed off any hint of her having a problem. She was invincible when it came to climbing.
"Well, for this round, each contestant must be assisted by a male from the mating pool and well. . ." Chichi paused for a moment and pressed her two pointer fingers together repeatedly "the males pick whom they assist." She quickly blurted out. Chichi glances at Bulma, almost wincing at her possible reaction.
Bulma stared blankly. "Oh . . ." She rolled her eyes knowing who, out of all the males out there, would pick her. That's just what she needed! A drooling, heavy breathing Saiyan on her back when she was trying to show up Mya! Bulma sighed.
"Ok, I can handle this, no problem, heh, yea! I can do this." She gave herself a pep talk through the situation. It wasn't THAT bad, was it? She could handle the Saiyan prince with a boner! No problem . . . right?
Bulma glanced over to Mya giggling amongst her friends over in her little circle. She watched as Mya threw Vegeta a sleazy grin; too bad he was threatening the other males and didn't notice.
Vegeta was holding a younger saiyan in a headlock but released him when Chichi announced to the audience that the males could now come down and pick their 'team mates.'
The stadium exploded with men jumping up in the air and rushing down to get the best of the picks. They were all rushing to be first to pick. Vegeta had no worries though; no one was getting his angel! He would make sure of it.
After everyone had been paired up and singled off, Chichi stood back to admire the 'couples.' They were so odd. Vegeta and Bulma seemed to be the only couple close to normal, despite the constant slapping of the hand whenever Vegeta tried to touch her.
Bulma looked over at Mya and had to cover her mouth to keep from laughing. Mya's teammate was a rather chunky Saiyan that was starting to bald on the top. He had quite the belly on him and just looked gross. Bulma swore she could see flies circling him as he scratched himself and lazily burped out loud. "Euue."
"Ok everyone! Let's get you into your positions! Guys, help your girl's gear up! Then we'll get started!" Chichi called out and everyone broke off to different sections of the wall.
Bulma dragged Vegeta over to the rock wall and started pointing out the different types of gear and how they worked. Vegeta just looked at her and grinned, he was in heaven! He was there, in front of her, and she was talking to him! What more could he ask for?
"And you have to help me put this on, I'm gonna need you to tie some things for me that I can't reach, ok?" Bulma broke his train of thought. "Vegeta? Are you listening? Hellooo?" She dangled the rope harness in front of him to see if he recognized what she was trying to tell him.
"Wooooo!" Vegeta almost squealed and hopped around in a little circle like a dog chasing his tail. This was too much! He didn't think he was going to be able to contain himself, he LOVED this ritual!
Chichi came over and did a little translating to help Vegeta get the specifics on what exactly he had to do. Oh, he got it all right, he understood completely. He waved off Chichi and smirked at Bulma, time to gear up!
"Ok, lets see, what's first?" Bulma turned around and rummaged through the small pile, trying to find the harness piece to go around her waist. "Oh he's gonna love this." Bulma thought to herself.
She turned around to see Vegeta smirking deviously. He was holding up the harness and wiggling his eyebrows at her. He was telling her that he was ready to help her in. . . very ready. "Uh!" He grunted at her, giving the harness a little jolt.
Bulma sighed, "Well, here goes." She let out her breath as she stepped into the harness and Vegeta helped her tie and get everything situated. They did have an issue with the cables, but with a little help, Vegeta was soon freed from his wire prison.
Bulma glanced over at Mya, who was still trying to get ready, her bubble- butted mate tangling the ropes and twisting everything. She was gonna teach that Mya not to mess with her or her stalking Saiyans! "Heh heh." Bulma thought to herself. "This will be fun. . ."
Author's note: Ok, this is Pepe Lepew speaking, and I just have a few comments on a certain flamer who caught my eye. Miss Bulma Chan-first of all, who peed in your cheerios?! O.o I mean, what is your deal? Why are you all over Typo, get off her back! I don't see why you're bashing only on her, we BOTH are writing the story, therefore, when there's no update, it's BOTH our faults, not just hers! And the thing about having me mentioned in her profile, it's a profile about ~Her~ she can put whatever she wants in it! And it's pretty obvious I get credit too, being my name is all over the opening warnings. Sheesh! I just thought I'd let you know, I didn't appreciate your attitude. ^__^
Anyways, to the rest of you! WOO HOO! We did it! Phew, it took some sweat, but with some long-awaited togetherness, we found some inspiration and got some story. . . We might even be close to finishing! Yes, we're pretty proud. ^.^ And we apologize for the long long wait, but it seems the writers block may have paid off! ( Hope you guys like it! We love you!
Typo: As Pepe said "thank you reviewers!" ^________^ I just want to give some extra shout-outs to: trunksvegetafrodo, neikaru, SaiyanGal, neko- mata, Amora-Ryuko, tormented_brandybear, Dark-Sephy, moonsaiyanprincess, Crispy Muffin, strawberrychan, and Yugi, not to mention Pepe!!!!!
Beware: Characters in this story are entirely . . .umm. . .primitive and must be handled with caution. Nudity, profanities, exposure to stupidity, embarrassing sexual situations, saiyan mating calls and rituals, and a ton more of strange things will occur in this story.
Symptoms of Exposure: Outrageous outburst of uncontrollable laughter; laughter so hard that tearing of the eyes may occur. If these symptoms occur stop reading, take a brake, and then continue where you left off.
Disclaimer: Pepe and Typo hold no ownership of any Dragon Ball Z characters, except for Vegeta who's chained to our doghouse outside our home! ^_^ Just joking, we don't hold any ownership over anything other than the story line and the cardboard boxes we live in! Enjoy!!!
PLANET OF THE SAIYANS
Bulma sat quietly in her "dressing room" waiting for the other women to finish their little model run. In all truth she was surprised beyond belief that she even did such a thing! Yet it was sooo worth it when she saw the look on Mya's face as she exited the stage.
"Try to mess with the great Bulma Briefs did she? Ha! That'll teach her!" Bulma said to herself as she began to comb through her long blue tresses, mutter things as she did so.
She was so into her brushing that she didn't hear her intruder until hands came over her eyes making her squeal in surprise.
"Guess who?"
"Gohan!!! Get your chubby perverted hands off my face!" She yelled as she stood up and swirled around. The young boy in front of her only grinned.
"That was some stunt you pulled early," Bulma stated as she picked up some clothes off the floor that she picked out for the next test, "you could have ruined my routine." She didn't sound the least upset, more like stating a fact.
"Yeah, but I was great wasn't I?" Gohan said snidely as he checked himself out in a mirror. He turned this way and that, looking at his backside a little more than a man should. "Does this make my butt look big?"
Bulma rolled her eyes at his last comment and decided not to even bother to acknowledging it. She pulled the dividing curtain between them and replaced her bathing suite with the clothing she was to wear.
"Yeah Gohan, you were great," she said sarcastically. "I bet you felt special being with all those half naked women." Bulma didn't even need to look at him to see the big toothy grin that popped up on his face, she new he was smiling and very confident in himself.
Gohan was so pleased with himself. He had just pulled off one of his biggest schemes yet . . . and it hadn't backfired! That was until . . .
"Yeah . . .I'm sure Prince Vegeta didn't mind you being with me." Bulma said, waving her hand as she did so, as if she was passing it off. "I mean, we're not even mates . . . and I'm SURE that the other guys could give a rat's ass about the OTHER women . . ."
Gohan's cheerful face vaulted. His once tan skin turned deathly pale. "Y—you don't think he was upset, do you?"
"Who?" Bulma asked as if she didn't know already. She turned her back to the curtain and began to shift through things in her vanity, pretending to look for something.
"PRINCE VEGETA!!!" Gohan cried in exasperation and a hint of foreboding fear.
Bulma was about to reply to the boy when the next whistle sounded and once again, a whole stampede of women started. She pulled open the curtain to see a ghostly white boy in front of her staring at nothingness.
"Well. . .I'm off to the next test. Wish me luck!" She bent down and was about to give him a peck on the cheek but she was thrown back in shock when he let out a terrified yell and took off running from her as if she had the bubonic plague.
Bulma sat on the cave floor for a moment, blinking, her mind trying to process what had just happen. Then, once the information was analyzed, she let out an almost insane cackle. "Well . . . That's one pervert down, nine hundred ninety nine to go." And at that she stood, brushed the dust off her rump and went to join the other women outside.
* * *
Vegeta sat broodingly in the stands of the coliseum [which was, in fact, nothing more than a high rise of wooden bleachers surrounding an obstacle course]. How dare those men talk about his woman! He shot another death glare for the hundredth time in five minutes to the men that were huddled away from him. "Uh eh huh MINE!!!!" He yelled at them, telling him that he was claiming her for his own. They scooted farther away, causing them to squish together at the ends of the bleachers, leaving Vegeta to sit by himself in the center.
Vegeta continued to mutter curses at the other males until his attention was brought to the course in front of him. He watched as the women were being brought out to stretch and take a look at the obstacle they would have to overcome. His eyes quickly began to search for his little goddess and he spotted her instantly. His dark eyes lit up when he saw her walk with those curvy hips swaying and those big uggas bou—
"HEY!!" Goku said as he patted his daydreaming prince on the back, bringing Vegeta out of his staring. "Uh ei ah ha he?"
"Hmph" Vegeta snorted to his question. Of course he wasn't hungry!—well maybe hungry for something else. . . a lusty grin spread over his face.
* * *
Bulma jumped in surprised when she heard the "Tarzan call". She heard the other women giggling and saw them blushing at the sound. She began looking wildly for the maker of the noise, curiosity eating at her and then she spotted the speaker . . . damn her curious mind.
Bulma could of died then and there at her embarrassment. There, on the stands, stood a roaring, chest pounding, Saiyan Prince, wearing a loincloth, "cat calling" her from the stands. If she had been a little less embarrassed, she would of ran. But instead, she stood there staring at him frozen in mortification.
"Well," she heard Chichi's urging voice, "call him back."
Bulma's head slowly turned to face the woman, her left eye twitching. "Are you mad?!"
Bulma was about to give Chichi a list of why she SHOULDN'T call back to him when a feminine "Tarzan call" came from the giggling huddled women. She turned to see who had called him back and nearly exploded when she saw that Mia was the caller.
"HOW DARE SHE!"
Chichi covered her mouth to keep from laughing at the enraged Bulma. So, the blue haired woman DID have a sweet spot for the handsome prince. Her laughter quickly faded when Bulma balled up her fist and began to march over to Mya's group. Luckily for Chichi, she was able to grab Bulma before she reached them.
Bulma began to struggle against her captor. "Let me go! I'm gonna' pound her to a pulp!!! Let me at 'em! Let me at 'em!" She commenced in swinging her fist wildly in the air as Chichi dragged her away a few yards.
"Calm down Miss Bulma," Chichi desperately pleaded. Sheesh! What was this girl running on?! One advancement on her man and she goes ballistic!
Bulma slowly started to calm down and relax, taking long deep breaths as she did so. As she tried to explain her lapse of sanity to herself her eyes fell upon her second trial—the rock wall
'I'll show her!' Bulma thought to herself. She knew that the rock wall would be no problem for her because cliff climbing had been her favorite sport when she was younger and had indulged into the sport whenever she could get away from school or work. She was defiantly gonna' kick Mya's butt on this course!
As Bulma surveyed the wall and began to conjure up her path to the top, Chichi turned to Bulma and interrupted her train of thought. "There are some new terms for this round of the competitions that you should probably know about." She said with a bit of nervousness in her voice.
Bulma didn't even glance her way as she continued to let her eyes skim over the wall. " Go on, I'm sure I can handle them." Bulma brushed off any hint of her having a problem. She was invincible when it came to climbing.
"Well, for this round, each contestant must be assisted by a male from the mating pool and well. . ." Chichi paused for a moment and pressed her two pointer fingers together repeatedly "the males pick whom they assist." She quickly blurted out. Chichi glances at Bulma, almost wincing at her possible reaction.
Bulma stared blankly. "Oh . . ." She rolled her eyes knowing who, out of all the males out there, would pick her. That's just what she needed! A drooling, heavy breathing Saiyan on her back when she was trying to show up Mya! Bulma sighed.
"Ok, I can handle this, no problem, heh, yea! I can do this." She gave herself a pep talk through the situation. It wasn't THAT bad, was it? She could handle the Saiyan prince with a boner! No problem . . . right?
Bulma glanced over to Mya giggling amongst her friends over in her little circle. She watched as Mya threw Vegeta a sleazy grin; too bad he was threatening the other males and didn't notice.
Vegeta was holding a younger saiyan in a headlock but released him when Chichi announced to the audience that the males could now come down and pick their 'team mates.'
The stadium exploded with men jumping up in the air and rushing down to get the best of the picks. They were all rushing to be first to pick. Vegeta had no worries though; no one was getting his angel! He would make sure of it.
After everyone had been paired up and singled off, Chichi stood back to admire the 'couples.' They were so odd. Vegeta and Bulma seemed to be the only couple close to normal, despite the constant slapping of the hand whenever Vegeta tried to touch her.
Bulma looked over at Mya and had to cover her mouth to keep from laughing. Mya's teammate was a rather chunky Saiyan that was starting to bald on the top. He had quite the belly on him and just looked gross. Bulma swore she could see flies circling him as he scratched himself and lazily burped out loud. "Euue."
"Ok everyone! Let's get you into your positions! Guys, help your girl's gear up! Then we'll get started!" Chichi called out and everyone broke off to different sections of the wall.
Bulma dragged Vegeta over to the rock wall and started pointing out the different types of gear and how they worked. Vegeta just looked at her and grinned, he was in heaven! He was there, in front of her, and she was talking to him! What more could he ask for?
"And you have to help me put this on, I'm gonna need you to tie some things for me that I can't reach, ok?" Bulma broke his train of thought. "Vegeta? Are you listening? Hellooo?" She dangled the rope harness in front of him to see if he recognized what she was trying to tell him.
"Wooooo!" Vegeta almost squealed and hopped around in a little circle like a dog chasing his tail. This was too much! He didn't think he was going to be able to contain himself, he LOVED this ritual!
Chichi came over and did a little translating to help Vegeta get the specifics on what exactly he had to do. Oh, he got it all right, he understood completely. He waved off Chichi and smirked at Bulma, time to gear up!
"Ok, lets see, what's first?" Bulma turned around and rummaged through the small pile, trying to find the harness piece to go around her waist. "Oh he's gonna love this." Bulma thought to herself.
She turned around to see Vegeta smirking deviously. He was holding up the harness and wiggling his eyebrows at her. He was telling her that he was ready to help her in. . . very ready. "Uh!" He grunted at her, giving the harness a little jolt.
Bulma sighed, "Well, here goes." She let out her breath as she stepped into the harness and Vegeta helped her tie and get everything situated. They did have an issue with the cables, but with a little help, Vegeta was soon freed from his wire prison.
Bulma glanced over at Mya, who was still trying to get ready, her bubble- butted mate tangling the ropes and twisting everything. She was gonna teach that Mya not to mess with her or her stalking Saiyans! "Heh heh." Bulma thought to herself. "This will be fun. . ."
Author's note: Ok, this is Pepe Lepew speaking, and I just have a few comments on a certain flamer who caught my eye. Miss Bulma Chan-first of all, who peed in your cheerios?! O.o I mean, what is your deal? Why are you all over Typo, get off her back! I don't see why you're bashing only on her, we BOTH are writing the story, therefore, when there's no update, it's BOTH our faults, not just hers! And the thing about having me mentioned in her profile, it's a profile about ~Her~ she can put whatever she wants in it! And it's pretty obvious I get credit too, being my name is all over the opening warnings. Sheesh! I just thought I'd let you know, I didn't appreciate your attitude. ^__^
Anyways, to the rest of you! WOO HOO! We did it! Phew, it took some sweat, but with some long-awaited togetherness, we found some inspiration and got some story. . . We might even be close to finishing! Yes, we're pretty proud. ^.^ And we apologize for the long long wait, but it seems the writers block may have paid off! ( Hope you guys like it! We love you!
Typo: As Pepe said "thank you reviewers!" ^________^ I just want to give some extra shout-outs to: trunksvegetafrodo, neikaru, SaiyanGal, neko- mata, Amora-Ryuko, tormented_brandybear, Dark-Sephy, moonsaiyanprincess, Crispy Muffin, strawberrychan, and Yugi, not to mention Pepe!!!!!
