Chapter Eighteen Tears For Fears

Hello again, here's the next chapter. For those worried that there isn't enough Draco/Hermione action, don't worry, it's coming. It's just it's slowly building up to a climax and Hermione has a lot on her plate right now... she's just miscarried a baby so there's bound to be some problems, isn't there?

I own everything Harry Potter. And before you ask, yes I am crazy.

Natyslacks- first of all thank you SO much for the lovely long review! It warmed my heart to see such an endearing post. And you like my structure? * is very flattered * thanks again! I tried to make it realistic, so it's good to know you feel so strongly. I am so sorry about your aunt, and I hope I portrayed it truthfully. Thanks again, I'm updating often if you noticed, just for you! * winks *

c-h-l-o-e-06- Thanks. But she is not just spending time in the Hospital Wing for injuries- she had just had a traumatic accident and needed time to rest and recuperate.

FlamezFlyer- yep, this is my first fanfiction. Thanks about the comments, it warmed me and made me feel all snugly inside!

Gazy- another long review, YAYNESS! Cheers honey. Do you really like it that much? I just can't believe people enjoy my little stories! And yes, I'm taking it slow- there are 28 chapters so I have to! Lol.

InsanitySquirrel321- thanks for the review. I am so sorry about your mom. That is terrible. I hope I have portrayed the effects of a miscarriage realistically.

Rubyqueen17- I'm sorry to write a stupid review to your story- it was a mess about with my friends and we were playing around on my PC and noticed your less-than-flattering review of my story, then played immature revenge. It was silly and it won't happen again.

EVERYONE WHO CRIED AT MY STORY- * sheds a tear * I can't believe I played on your emotions so much. Thanks! I mean, crying is kind of a good thing right? I know it's depressing you but at least it means I can portray emotion! YAY! Lol I am happy because you cried… or am I? I mean, I'm sad because you… oh forget it! Thanks and keep reading!


Hermione, Ron, and Harry barged into the History Of Magic, breathless from their stampede up the stairs.

"Sorry we're late, sir," Harry gasped, taking his usual place at the front of the class. Professor Binns looked up, slightly confused, and then spotted them.

"Ah, Mr Weasel, Miss Grunge and- er- Mr Potter," he said, struggling to remember names, though of course only remembering Harry's. "Sit down please. Today's lesson will be slightly different than usual."

Immediately everyone looked up from their stupor; it was extremely unusual for the ghostly Professor Binns to ever change his mind-numbingly boring schedule.

"We have a guest speaker on a rather unusual topic, and one that has been taboo for quite some time. Please welcome… Remus Lupin." At the sound of the name, the whole class broke out into gasps, and from behind Professor Binns, a door opened to reveal the familiar old friend.

"Lupin," Harry shouted delightedly at the sight of him, and some of the other Gryffindors in the room broke out in applause; he had taught them in third year and been one of the best Defense Against The Dark Arts teachers that they had ever had.

"Hi," he said to the class, blushing slightly and brushing his slightly graying hair out of his eyes. "It's nice to see some familiar faces. Some look happy to see me-some not so happy," he added, noticing the dirty looks he was receiving from the Slytherins. "But no need to fret, I'm only here for this morning, and we're going to discuss something that a lot of people are afraid of. Werewolves."

Silence followed.

"You all know I'm a werewolf," he said finally, "and I am quite sure you may have some questions for me about it. I'd better explain something about us first.

"Werewolves are only dangerous at the full-moon, and the rest of the time we are totally normal people. We're not more violent than you, or reclusive or stupid. We don't behave like animals. And we don't want to hurt people. We are completely human the rest of the time.

"At the full moon, we are capable of murder. And that is why we have to hide. But the rest of the time we need to have friends. We don't like people being afraid of us- and the people that are, are usually ignorant to what happens, and assumes we're cruel killers. And that only happens once a month…. Well, basically that's the main topic. Any questions?"

At least a dozen hands shot into the air. Lupin chuckled. "Aren't we enthusiastic? Yes, you, Mr Thomas."

"Does it hurt… when you change? When you transform?" Dean asked eagerly.

Lupin's eyes, once so twinkly, died out a little. "Like you'd never imagine," he said quietly. "Very much indeed."

The rest of the lesson followed with more questions, some readings from werewolf books and a short sheet with questions of true and false. For most, it was the best History of Magic lesson they had ever had. For others, it was not.

"This is boring," Pansy Parkinson declared. "Don't you agree, Draco?" Malfoy looked up from his paper and nodded briefly, following with a murderous glare in Lupin's direction.

"Mangy mongrel," he muttered, and Pansy tittered. Hermione ignored them; it wasn't worth it- but she noticed that Malfoy hadn't been half as cocky and loud as usual. Still cruel, still bullying- he just did it much quieter.

At the end of the lesson, people began filing out of the door, chattering away ten to the dozen about the topic. It seemed Lupin's lesson had been very enjoyable to the majority of students and gave them something other than celebrity gossip to discuss for the next hour or two.

"Harry! Ron, Hermione!" Lupin smiled, and hugged them all one by one. By now almost all the students had filed out of the classroom.

"Hi Lupin," Harry said. "It's great to see you here. We haven't seen you in ages!"

"Yeah, where you been. You've been wanted at the- well, you know, the- the Order," Ron whispered, glancing around carefully. He spotted Draco Malfoy skulking at the back of the classroom, with Crabbe and Goyle.

"Ssssh," Lupin said, putting a finger to his lips. "Oh, I've just been visiting some fellow werewolves in Transylvania, it's terrible down there. The amount of prejudice against us! Some of them have been torched alive… I don't want to even think about the punishments for killing a wizard or witch. That's what inspired me to do this course- seeing how ignorance can ruin innocent lives."

"So, how has this course been working?" Harry asked.

"Well, actually. I've done all the lower years, up to sixth, and tomorrow I'm showing the seventh years. Actually, I'd better dash soon- the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws need their course to be done. But- Hermione, what's wrong? You look very ill."

"I'm fine," Hermione said weakly, though Draco distracted her. He was watching her, his cold eyes following her every move. Lupin noticed.

"What is it?" he demanded, frowning. He placed a kindly hand on her shoulder. "Whatever it is, you know you can talk to me about it."

Hermione wasn't listening. Malfoy and her were engaged in a visual war; both eyes locked together. She couldn't read his expression, it was too complicated for her to decipher. But it certainly wasn't hatred. She didn't understand.

"-And really you can talk to me about anything," Lupin finished, who had been talking.

"There's nothing the matter, can you just leave it!" she snapped, pulling away from Draco's stare and flouncing out of the room, her bag draped over her shoulder.

Running and running, she didn't stop till she was near an empty classroom whereupon she collapsed into a chair and leaned her head against the desk, heart thumping wildly. She was still weak from what happened and wasn't supposed to do any physical activity- but she didn't care. The pain was still inside her, and it still lived on. Was she crazy? Snapping so badly, all because Malfoy had looked at her. But was it a surprise, when he had killed the one true thing that mattered to her, and taken away everything to live for?

Tears blurred her vision, and she wiped her face sadly. Why did Draco stare at her like that? She hated him, she hated him! He was cruel and spiteful, tormenting and wicked. He didn't have the right to stare at her like that! If only she could do what she really wanted to do- scratch his eyes out and beat him till he was black and blue.

But she couldn't.

She had lied to the teachers because it hadn't mattered to her at the time and had been easier than explaining- all she could think of was her baby. Though the raw wounds inside her where her baby should have been still ached, confusion now dawned upon her. Draco had killed her baby, and when he'd lied and said Hermione had fell, she had gone along with it.

Why?

Because she didn't want him to get into trouble. Not really. Not underneath. But she hated him all right. Loathed him. Detested him. Despised him. She smacked the desk, hard. Dots of red appeared on her knuckles, but she bit them angrily. She wasn't going to bleed for Draco.

From now on, she thought, he's not going to exist to me.


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