Chapter Nineteen Love's First Kiss

This is a bit of a gooey chapter `cause for a while we've had poor Hermione going through hell and I thought it was time for a bit of romance, even if it isn't with our main stars... and for those still wanting, I promise D/Hr stuff is coming... it's just there's a lot of prejudices, you know? She's bound to hate him now, isn't she!

I own EVERYTHING! Yes I do, I do! * dances * Uh-oh! * Spots security guard preparing to drag her away* Sorry! I didn't mean it; please don't kill me, Mr Security Guard person!

Gazy- thanks, Lupin's great isn't he? ^_^ He's one of my favourite characters, but I say that about a lot of them! Sorry if it seems like Hermione is a little moody, but she's gone through a very traumatic experience and it can actually take years to recover… I too, want a little bit more cheer, but I have to be realistic. And as for the chapter thing, I doubt Fanfiction has a limit- 28 chapters is just what this story is going to be. Thanks Gazy for the luverly review! :D

Rubyqueen17- sorry sorry sorry sorry! I was in a touchy mood, what can I say… and admittedly there were also bad things in that review, you have to admit, though I interpreted them wrongly. You were being constructive. I apologise. Again. Keep on reading, if you like, you know I'd like you to.

Evilbunnys-playmate- I don't have it in for Draco and Hermione- they just really hate each other right now. Lol, believe me, there are a lot of changes going to happen… Thanks for your review!


"Pass the toast please, Harry," Hermione said quietly, as they all sat around the breakfast table. Harry immediately placed a huge pile of toast in front of her, which she began to devour slowly- unlike Ron, who seemed to be wolfing it down. Ginny, who sat on Harry's left, hugged him and planted a kiss on his cheek; Harry grinned, a little embarrassed, but hugged her back and pulled her into a romantic kiss.

"Please will you two stop, you're putting me off my breakfast," Seamus said, smirking, before bursting into laughter.

"Yeah, get a room," Dean joked.

Ginny ignored them and snuggled up to her boyfriend. Ron made gagging noises, but was abruptly stopped by Hermione, who nudged him in the ribs.

"Leave them be," she said, and returned to her breakfast. She didn't speak much anymore- she just didn't see the point. She doubted she would ever be the same again, never her talkative, chatty, opinionated self, instead devoting time to getting through life without thinking about her baby, and doing revision. She could get through the whole day sometimes without thinking about Malfoy or the baby once, until she was in bed... and then she couldn't sleep, tossing and turning with distress. When she did finally slumber, her dreams were disturbed and she found herself falling down those stairs every single night... and she always woke up just before her head hit the bottom. All in all, Hermione kept herself to herself and put her heart into work. Except sometimes, when she was feeling a bit happier, she'd sit and talk with Ron, and that felt like old times. Sighing, she put down her food, and noticed her best friend staring open mouthed at the Ravenclaw table.

"What are you looking at?" Hermione said irritably, and then noticed Cho Chang staring in Ron's direction. Cho blushed immediately, and when Hermione glanced back at Ron, his ears were as red as his hair.

"I'm done," Harry said, yawning and putting his arm around Ginny. "What is it next? Oh yes, Herbology- not too bad, I suppose."

"Hadn't we get going then?" Hermione said briskly, getting to her feet with Harry. Ron was still staring at Cho. "Come on, Ron!" she called, walking to the doors. Harry kissed Ginny goodbye and followed his friend, Ron dragging behind. Soon he caught up with the three of them when-

"Wait!" they heard a voice behind, them, and, spinning round, it turned out to be Cho. She'd run all the way over from her table. "Hi," she said breathlessly, smiling at them. "Er- Ron, I need to talk about something with you, a minute." Ron nodded and walked off with Cho, where they talked in hurried whispers, blushing a little. Harry rolled his eyes.

"Cho is a cow," he said venomously, and then bit his lip. "I didn't mean that- it's just, sometimes, I feel a little bitter about her. Then I realise I have Ginny, and it doesn't matter anymore. Let's go," he said to Hermione and she hurried alongside him, until Ron had finished talking to Cho and was walking alongside them.

"What was that all about?" Hermione asked.

"Quidditch," Ron answered immediately, avoiding eye contact with his friends. "A little talk about the Tornados. She still thinks they're better than the Chudley Cannons…"

Herbology passed in a haze, mainly with Professor Sprout congratulating Neville on his marvelous plants in his own tray. Hermione's own seemed to be wilting; which annoyed her immensely. Making a mental note to ask Neville for help later, she began pruning the leaves.

"Look at mine," Harry said, and Ron sniggered. Harry's plants had gone a strange yellowy colour.

"Too much Grow-Go Compost, Potter," Professor Sprout said wisely as she passed by. "Good in small amounts, not large quantities."

"Great," Harry said, "What am I supposed to do now?"

"Oh look, Potter's plant's gone yellow," Malfoy sniggered from nearby. Hermione glared at him, hatred burning in her eyes.

"Shut up," she said simply.

Strangely enough, Malfoy backed down. Hermione only watched in wonder as he turned back to his tray, his cheeks slightly pink as he bit his bottom lip. Crabbe and Goyle looked mildly puzzled, and then went back to eating some of the leaves.

"Weird," Ron frowned. "Why did he stop? He wouldn't usually."

"I know," Hermione muttered. "That's what I don't understand."

********

Ron, Harry and Hermione made their way back out of the greenhouses after a very long double period, arms aching from all the hard work. Harry in particular looked stressed; his plant had spat green venom over him after he had tried to cut off one of the leaves ("it looked dead!"). Evidently, plants don't like having their leaves cut off.

"So what shall we do?" Harry said. "Maybe sit near the lake, throw some stones? You know, the usual."

"Not for me," Ron said. "I have to go to the Library and- er- study moves on Quidditch. Yeah, that's it. I need to learn some new moves."

"I'll come with you," Hermione said enthusiastically. "I have to look up some work for Snape-"

"No," Ron said quickly, "no, I just want to be alone- if that's okay." And before Harry or Hermione could object, Ron had rushed off in the opposite direction. Harry shrugged and headed off to the lake, Hermione following.

They lay down basking in the chilly January breeze. For some reason all the snow and ice had gone, so it wasn't too cold- still, both of them were wrapped in winter cloaks and huddled together next to the tree near the lake. All around them people were chatting, braving the colder weather for a chance of fresh air. There was a glacial beauty around Hogwarts at this time of year and Hermione savoured it while it lasted, for the icicles reflected the coldness of her heart.

"Hi, you two," Ginny said, joining them and sitting down. "Thought I'd find you here, I've been looking for you everywhere. Hey Harry, you have some green stuff on your cheek!" She wiped it away tenderly, and then planted a peck on it. Harry enveloped her in kisses, making her giggle.

"Don't ask," he said between kisses. "Just some crazy plant in Herbology…"

"Actually, I feel like a walk," Hermione interrupted. "Talk to you later." She got to her feet and walked off, pulling her crimson cloak tighter around her slender shoulders. She couldn't face any more love stuff today, she needed to clear her head. Most of all, all she could think of was Draco Malfoy's cruel handsome face, and the way he'd given up today without a fight. Maybe he's frightened, she thought, of what could happen if she told people that he'd pushed her down the stairs…

Hermione found herself walking around the greenhouses absentmindedly, looking at all the weird and wonderful plants; huge green ones with flowers the size of footballs and small, unusual ones with pale suckers and dangerous thorns. The colours! From blood red to porcelain white, ebony to violet, lavender to peach, all of them beautiful and exquisite. Running her fingers softly down the non-poisonous ones (Hermione knew which ones were after reading several books about them), she turned the corner down to the end greenhouse. Then something made her stop in her tracks, for she wasn't the only person having a walk…

Tucked into a corner stood a small, dark haired girl with her arms wrapped around someone, and she seemed to be passionately embracing. Hermione quickly stepped into the shadows so she couldn't be seen, and watched the girl curiously.

The girl pulled away and giggled slightly, which made Hermione recognise at once. She rolled her eyes. Who was Cho madly in love with now? Cho seemed to be delighting in the boy; she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and he entwined his lips against hers; she sighed a little and leaned in closer, her hips close to his… then she pulled away, revealing the face of the boy. Hermione gasped.

It was Ron.

Cho had been kissing Ron.

Ron grinned awkwardly, then pulled her in again, and this time Hermione could see everything. Ron pressed his fumbling hands against her bottom, which made Cho blush slightly; she kissed harder and Hermione was so close she could even see her tongue snake into Ron's mouth. Hermione felt sick.

After what seemed like an eternity, they stopped and hugged.

"Wow," Ron said weakly. "I… er…" He had gone tongue-tied, just like in most awkward situations. "Erm, bloody hell."

"That was great," Cho whispered, but Hermione could hear every word. "I've liked you for ages Ron, though I must admit your taste in Quidditch teams is abysmal…" Ron laughed.

"And I think the same about you," he said. "You- you- would you like to do this again sometime?"

"What, sneak around Herbology green houses?" Cho asked in mock surprise, then giggled. "Of course I want to see you again, Ron! I really care about you… let's just not tell people yet, okay?"

"Sure," Ron replied, looking relieved. "I was worried about that too- I hope Harry won't mind. After all, he did go out with you."

"He shouldn't do," Cho said nervously. "I mean, he's with Ginny now isn't he? Oh, what does it matter anyway. It's you that matters to me." She kissed him on the cheek and he smiled.

"Well, guess I'd better get back to Harry and Hermione," he said wistfully. "I'll see you around, Cho."

"You too," she said, and went off in another direction. Hermione leaned tighter against the wall, praying she wouldn't be seen. Once Ron had passed too, she breathed a sigh of relief and slid down the wall until she was seated on the floor.

It didn't really matter that Cho and Ron were together did it? She knew Harry would be a bit annoyed at first, but he was happy with Ginny that he wouldn't be angry with Ron for too long. But how did she feel?

She honestly wanted happiness for Ron, but there was something selfish holding her back. Right now nobody wanted her- her parents had sent letters of condolence to her after her miscarriage, but she knew they were pleased that she no longer had a baby, pleased that there was no longer an obstacle in her future. Harry was still a great friend but he was too wrapped up in Ginny to notice her anymore, and Ginny was just the same with Harry. She had bored of Parvati and Lavender, two giggly girls who just seemed to annoy- and then there was Draco.

Something about the name sent shivers down Hermione's spine and made her feel hundreds of different emotions at once.

Draco Malfoy.

The boy who had caused her so much misery and pain. But such joy and pleasure too? He was a fiend that was for sure. Hermione knew she should never think about him anymore, but still, he always managed to fight his way into her thoughts. And in her memory he was there, forever imprinted.

But Ron? He was her best friend, and she had absolutely no romantic feelings. But he was her safety net, her comfort blanket, the person she could always rely on to be there for her. And now she knew she could never have him fully to herself anymore.

"I'm so selfish," she said out loud, digging her nails into her flesh and gritting her teeth. She deserved pain. People should always want the best for their friends. So why couldn't she be happy for Ron?

She needed him to be there for her- and her only.

But it wasn't just that. She was jealous- jealous that he could find love and she couldn't.

She wiped her eyes, but they were dry.

"I'll get through this," she said grimly. "I have nobody but myself, but I'm strong enough. There's only person you can rely on in this world- and that's yourself. I can do it." And Hermione pulled herself to her feet, and prepared to face her friends again.


Like? Extra long, I know, but I got carried away, I can't help it! I'll wait a while before uploading the next chapter.

Thanks everyone! This chappie is one of my faves because I really really really love Ron and think he deserves some romance, even if it isn't with Hermione! And for those who think Cho isn't good enough for Ron- I don't either. I hate Cho, she's a bitch, but Ron is going through a tough time right now and Cho has too, and seeing as they both love Quidditch, I thought the love card should be played. I look forward to reading your opinions!