Chapter Twenty one Face It
Hi wow 21 reviews in 1 day! What did I do to deserve such loyal fans? Okay, I'm writing this in a VERY VERY VERY happy mood… I just won the Interschool Championship Quiz with my team, AND I received a letter today informing me my latest poem has been accepted for publication! So NOTHING anyone can say about this story can bring me down. Feel free to criticise!
This is one of my favourite chappies because the tension is building and building; I won't spoil it so read on. And remember, I own nothing aside the plot.
Draco crossed the Entrance Hall, his long black school robes billowing out behind him, like a bat just about to take off. His grey eyes gleamed in the centre of his pale face… he was going to find her.
But where would she be? He stopped for a moment, unsure, and leaned against the wall. Think, Draco, he told himself. Calm. Don't need to lose your cool, do you?
He couldn't help his heart racing frantically or the clamminess he was getting on his hands; he couldn't help the feeling he got in his stomach when he saw her or talked to her, and he especially couldn't help the guilt he felt whenever he saw her upset. But this was a different feeling. He had seen her radiating anger and it made him feel weird… he knew she hated him, and he didn't blame her. He had been recklessly stupid. Pushing her down the stairs! He had let his foolish temper get the better of him, as per usual. But seeing her angry had made him know that she WAS human, that she wasn't just a robot. Because for the past half a year she hadn't portrayed a single human emotion to him. She hadn't even acknowledged his existence.
And strangely enough, he didn't like it.
At first when she ignored him, he was glad of it because he didn't want to be asked awkward questions, but pretty soon he was longing to talk to her, whether it be an argument or a normal conversation. Hell, even a reckless insult would have made him feel better- at least it meant she knew he was there. Hermione Granger was a strange girl nowadays. A shadow of her former self. But he knew the real Hermione was lurking under there, just waiting to get back to the surface.
"And I'll be the one to bring her back," he said to himself, grinning.
"Draco," came a simpering shout, and Pansy rushed into his arms, tears spilling all over his robes. "Draco, I followed you, I had to! You know I love you and you love me, why do you have to be so cruel? Oh Draco, Draco please, please don't ignore me…"
"Shut up," Draco said coldly, pushing her off and eyeing her with disgust. He loathed her. There was something repellent about her pug face creased up in tears, moaning with distress and the way she tugged at him made his skin crawl.
"Why do you play hard to get Draco?" she moaned, beseeching him again. He pushed her and she fell to the floor, writhing and moaning with dramatic grief. "No matter what you do, I'll love you, my love will never falter."
"You've been reading too many romance stories, Pansy. I've never loved you, and you don't love me, you just think you do. You can stay on the floor if you like- I'm going. Now stay away from me, or I'll really give you something to cry about." The threat wasn't empty. He meant it. "A piece of dirt means more to me than you. You're just gross and vile." He stepped over her and proceeded up the stairs, his mind now strangely clear.
She'll be in the library.
After all, that was where she always went to when there was trouble. When in doubt, head to the library. Bookworm, he thought wryly, grinning to himself. He wondered how Hermione would act when she found him. Probably kick up a fuss and drag it out. But he didn't care. He'd love to argue with her again, and really get her back how she used to be. And wasn't it a start that she'd screamed that she hated him in front of the whole school?
She was definitely back on track to being the old Hermione.
He found himself at the library, and pushed the door open to see it completely empty. Madam Pince was probably having dinner somewhere else because nobody could be seen. Standing completely still, he thought he could hear some books moving at the back of the room behind some high shelves. He crept along and peered around the corner.
There Hermione sat at a table, head bowed over a book, her long curly hair falling down over her shoulders onto the book. Draco hesitated. He had never felt nerves before in his life- but all of a sudden he did now.
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Meanwhile, Hermione poured over the book, but she wasn't really reading it. The words seemed to make little squiggles before her eyes and besides she wasn't in the best mood for reading anyway. Anger was still pulsating through her and she felt like hitting something. Still, the peaceful library had managed to restore some calm to her.
But whenever she thought about Draco Malfoy, all she could do was shudder. She had behaved like a maniac in front of him and embarrassed herself completely; how could she ever face him again?
Just then a sound made her jump, and looking up she saw the familiar features of Draco staring at her. He stepped forward and her heart beat faster and faster until she thought it would explode in her chest.
"We need to talk, Hermione," he said evenly. She noticed in surprise that he didn't seem even the slightest bit smug. She nodded without even thinking as he sat down beside her and looked at her with those grey stormy eyes.
"What do you want?" she managed to demand, her throat sounding husky from all the shouting she had been doing.
He smirked a little, some of the attitude back. "So, you've finally found your voice?" he said. "I've been waiting for this for a long time."
"For what?"
"For you to explode. I knew you were going to eventually. Ever since you lost the baby." Silence followed, and Hermione thought she was going to crack.
"I LOST THE BABY?" she screeched, causing Draco to wince. "I wouldn't have lost it if you hadn't-"
"Alright, alright," Draco said, a note of panic in his voice. "I know, and I shouldn't have done it. I was being a bloody fool… just like YOU were to get pregnant in the first place," he added. "I don't even know what I'm doing here really… what's happened to me lately?" he mused, more to himself than Hermione. "Sleeping with Mudbloods… father really would be angry…" He found with amusement that he didn't really care.
"Don't you dare call me that," she threatened.
Malfoy watched with amusement, and placed both of his hands onto the table. "Well, it's worth whatever I get just to see your reaction," he chuckled. "It's about time you face what you're feeling. You've got a fair few bad habits Hermione, but you are brave, even I have to admit that. I wouldn't have been able to cope," he said grudgingly. "But then again, why should I have to? You're the bloody fool that didn't take the Pill."
Hermione was just about to get up from the table, hatred swallowing her, before Draco placed his hand on her arm. "Stop," he said, and she did. Slowly she sat down, her chocolate eyes looking into his grey ones.
"What is it?" she asked quietly. "Are YOU finally dealing with your feelings?"
"What is that supposed to mean?" Draco said defensively.
"You've been feeling just like me for the past few months, haven't you? Why else would you come after me? You know I hate you, and being the sick person you are, you like it."
"I don't like it," he said. "I'd just rather you actually think something of me, than nothing." He bit his lip, realising he'd said too much. "I mean, well, a Mudblood like you…"
"Oh shut up and face it for once," Hermione said. "Face your real feelings. I have to, it's about time you did." She smiled, a little bitterly, but she smiled all the same. It had been a long time since she had properly grinned, and it felt rather strange; still, it was a sensation she would have to get used to feeling again.
Draco was silent. He thought back to what he'd done to Pansy outside. He was the just the same person as before- he still liked hurting others, he was still bitter and twisted, still hateful and teasing- but he just felt strange. He'd slept with lots of girls and dumped them the next day, and never felt a shred of remorse or pity. But Hermione was just totally different.
With Hermione he liked to tease, sure, but it was a different kind of teasing. Soft, and playful. Gentle teasing. And that wasn't just it. When he was with her he felt… different. He couldn't pinpoint the strangeness of it; it was just totally different to talking to Pansy or another girl.
"What are you thinking about?" Hermione asked him softly. Every second that went by she found herself hating him less.
"You," he said calmly. "I'm acting like Potter- a goodie goodie fool with no brains. I'm off."
"Wait," Hermione said, a little sharply. "Nobody's ever going to find out we're talking, if that's what you're worried about." And Draco turned to her, a look on his face that made a lump rise in her throat. He looked kind, soft, warm. He stood up and walked over to her, and wrapped his arms around her. She was enveloped in his robes, in a tight hug. They didn't have to say anything.
And there they stayed, Hermione's tears flowing down over him and washing him in grief. It was for only a short while but it seemed like eternity, until eventually Hermione's emotions stopped. Draco looked down at her. The silence said more than words ever could, and an unspoken truce now existed between them, even if it was only for a short while.
"I'm going now," he said. "Never speak of this to anyone." Hermione nodded silently as he walked away. She should feel confused, but she didn't. Her mind was more focused than it had been for a long time. It had taken six months, but Hermione had finally put her past behind her. It didn't mean she could forget it- it just meant she could now look to the future, what ever that would be.
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Pansy hid in the shadows as Draco walked off, then quickly returned to spying through the door at Hermione. She had followed Malfoy- and seen everything. Her face was red with rage and burning fury for the girl who could have everything she wanted... it was so clear that Malfoy was besotted with this loser.
"Little bitch," she snarled quietly to herself. "Pathetic little Mudblood… I'll show her." And Pansy shuffled off, chucking and cackling, her puny little brain already concocting a plot to hurt Hermione.
Thanks for reading. For those who think Draco has gone soft or something- believe me, he hasn't. It's just this is the first chance Hermione and Draco have had to properly discuss what happened and I'm sure the emotions running high are realistic- and Draco isn't bad all the time. It's like a cover to hide the real him.. prattle, prattle… lol! No, when he's with Hermione it's like his pretend him just falls away…
You'll find out in following chapters anyway! And if anyone complains it's too mushy, well… this is a mushy story, cope with it. Lol please review, hope you like.
