Title: Gravel

Author: Unscathed

Disclaimer: They're not mine. I just knock them over and play with them, and dress them up in funny clothing and make them talk in high-pitched accents. They belong to J.K. Rowling and her gang of heartless publishers.

Warnings: Remus Lupin/Sirius Black. That line between their names is a slash. It means they are together. They might hug, they might kiss, they might have hot, wild screaming monkey sex (Just not on FFN!). If this thought nauseates or sickens you…go away. If you chose not to heed my warning and send me nasty letters, all the more fool you are.

Story Notes: This is a 'songless songfic', that is to say, there is a song that it is based on, but you will not see the song lyrics in italics here or anything. If you look really, really hard, you might find some of the lyrics mixed into the story. The song to this fic is "Gravel" by Ani Difranco.

***

In his dreams Remus Lupin heard the sound of a motorbike as the wheels hit the gravel, the roar of the motor slowing to a hum and then silencing all together. Then boots, black leather, hit the ground. Remus Lupin moved to the screen door, stared out at the man, not as he had been before he died—lonely and caged and gaunt—but as he had been years before, happy, youthful and without shadows of Dementors in his eyes. In his dreams Sirius Black strode, carefree, up to the stoop, and Remus Lupin was fighting to believe, unwilling to give up.

Remus Lupin invited his friend inside, and handed the man a beer. Across the kitchen table Remus Lupin stared at the changing face of the man he had always loved. Sometimes Remus dreamed that he even told him that, told him how much he meant, how he couldn't die because Remus needed him. Like dissipating smoke, Remus would stare at the man, disheveled and beaten, only a dream. Always there, but always a dream.

In his dreams Remus managed to forget all of Sirius's lies, untruths and cruelties. He remembered the distraught face of James' child staring back at him, accusing him of everything he had done, everything he had allowed happen, but in his dreams Harry Potter became a distant memory. And he didn't want to change his mind, whether that meant he had to remember everything Sirius had ever done, or forget it.

In his dreams Remus Lupin rose above it all, conquered even the death that had claimed Sirius and the unkindness of misspent youth. Remus would leave everything behind—Harry, the memories of James, the pain that he carried like a battered piece of luggage—and ride away on that motorbike with his Padfoot. They would be Padfoot and Moony, and they would rise above everything they'd ever done.

Then Remus, in his dreams, would crawl into Sirius's arms, content to let the world just fuck itself in the end. He had Sirius Black, in his dreams, and Remus Lupin never woke up without wanting to remain asleep.