Title: I am the Wind.
Chapter 2: The Wind and The Void
Genre: Action/Suspense/Horror
Pairings: Non-romance Kagura centric – Kagura/World, and Kagura/Family
Rating: R – violence, language and nudity
Summary: Naraku decides to create a new pawn for his game. But will he be able to control this willful and spirited incarnation. The wind is free and wild, and it will not calmly accept enslavement. Kagura is the name of a Shinto dance. Can Naraku force the wind to dance to his will?
{Inuyasha and all his world belongs to Rumiko Takahashi. I'm just playing with them in a not for profit manner. None of my work has any reflection or claim on the world and works of Rumiko Takahashi.}
I would like to thank the kind reviewers of my first chapter. I hope that this chapter meets and exceeds, the standard set by the last.
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Chapter 2 – The Wind and The Void
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I limped over to the window, and looked sadly out at the freedom, which was denied me. I grabbed the wooden bars to steady myself, and pulled myself up in order to see as far as possible. I stuck my head out between the bars and luxuriated in the stiff breeze. My body might be held but at least my head was free of that cage of a room. I inhaled the wonderful scents that were born on the wind. I gazed out at the sun setting beyond the blue mountains, and the glorious crimson sunset. Someday I too would have the freedom to go beyond the mountains, and seek the source of the wind that was blowing down them. Naraku might hold my heart but he wouldn't tame my spirit.
I sighed, and ran my hand thru my cruddy hair. I really needed that bath, both physically and spiritually. I desperately desired to feel clean, to wash away this taint that I felt. Naraku, made me feel dirty and helpless. To think that I had been born from such a vile creature. I couldn't let him get any grasp on me. His ordering me to take a bath was certainly one such, a subtle little barb pushed into my spirit. Telling me to do something, I wanted to do anyway. Try to play your little game Naraku; I'll never be caught in your little trap.
So what if I'm not a princess, I can act like one. You won't take away my dignity Naraku. Of course standing here with my head stuck out between the window bars wasn't that dignified. I straightened up, only to experience a pinching pain as I tried to get my head back in. I stood there in shock for a second; no, I couldn't have gotten myself stuck. It felt as though the bars were closing in on my neck, slowly strangling me. I fought down the panic rising up within me, no this couldn't be happening. I had gotten myself trapped.
Why should I panic now, nothing had changed except the realization that I was trapped. I just needed to calm down, and stop hyperventilating. How could I slip Naraku's trap if I panicked at this minor predicament. I knew that my panic came from the fact that my movement was restricted. I had to move to exist, like the wind. I couldn't conceive of an existence where I was nothing. To be nothing, a void; that had to be the worst possible existence imaginable. A small shiver went down my spine as I thought of this. I choked down several ragged gasps, and shook the bars in frustration.
There had to be a way out of this, after all the bars had been wide enough to get my head thru in the first place. Wait, I put my head thru higher up. I gripped the bars and pulled myself up as high as I could go, winching as my neck scraped on the rough wood. I sighed in relief as I felt the pressure suddenly ease, and I was able to slip my head back out through the bars. My head was back in this cage of a room, I was no less trapped. I was trapped yet I now had the ability to move and act, there was a difference. If you could move around in the trap, sooner or later there will come an opportunity to slip out of the trap. Naraku put me in this trap, yet where there was an entrance, there had to be an exit. I would go along with Naraku's plans, and eventually I would pop out of his grasp too. Sometimes you have to figure out how the trap works in order to get out of it, I just had to bide my time and figure out this little puzzle.
I was just in an elaborate version of a puzzle box, and I had to figure out the proper way to manipulate the pieces. If there is one thing I understood, it was movement. Naraku was attempting to train me, so that I would be my own keeper. After all what better jailor was there then yourself? Naraku wanted me to spin around like a vortex of leaves spinning trapped in the corner of the courtyard. Naraku thought himself a puppeteer and was trying to sink his barb tipped strings into my flesh, and walk me where he willed.
I would not walk to Naraku's will, but would dance gracefully. Naraku had named me Kagura in jest at my newborn clumsiness. Well I might have been born yesterday, but I could see the subtle little trap. He was trying to make me doubt myself. A clever little barb sunk into my confidence. Well what he gave me in mockery; I would embrace and make it my strength. I would deny his aspersions, and claim my name for myself. Yes a graceful dancer, who will dance her way to the freedom that others sought to deny her.
I closed my eyes and summoned a small light whirlwind, and stepped into it's vortex. I smiled as I felt it caress my body, and began to dance with my partner. I ignored the faint throbbing of my injured foot, as I gave my body completely over to my dance. I smiled as the joy of my movements swelled up in my chest. I twirled about the small room in counterpoint to my pulsing little zephyr. I moved slowly to a mild breeze that caressed my cheek. Long fluid movements, as I imitated a light breeze. Fast and abrupt movements as I sent a sudden gust twirling about the room. Yes, movement to honor the wind and the joy of existence. My body might be caged in Naraku's horrible little cage, yet my spirit could still soar with the wind. Nothing was going to stop my dance of freedom.
I gave a small leap and sailed across the room, my wind twirling around me in a loving caress. Suddenly there was a blur of motion in front of me, and the door suddenly appeared in my line of sight. This was followed by blazing pain in my head, and a loud echoing knock that rang in my head. A brief feeling of vertigo ending abruptly as the ground slammed into my ass. Rubbing my nose, I glared at the little girl, who was holding the doorknob of the just opened door. She was albino pale with white hair, and white flowers behind her ears that went perfectly with her dead eyes.
"Who the hell do you think you are," I snarled at the girl. Damn, I lost my composure again. I would never get out of this trap if I couldn't control myself.
"I am nobody but you may call me Kanna," the little waif responded, as she regarded me with her blank eyes. She didn't have any expression on her blank face. I shivered as she stared at me; the little bitch gave me the creeps. So this was the sister that Naraku had mentioned.
"A child is my older sister? I hope your not expecting me to look up to you," I snarled at the creep. What type of being was this weird little girl? Was she truly another creation of Naraku's as I was? I needed answers to this new piece of the puzzle.
"Naraku our father informed me of your clumsiness Kagura, please avoid tripping on the way to the bath," she whispered while turning and walking back out into the dark hall.
"Next time knock," I muttered under my breath, as I got to my feet. I sighed and followed her out into the quiet nighttime corridors of the castle. Mustering all the grace and stateliness I could, I followed the twerp towards my bath.
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The air was thick with steam in the bathing room. The only light came from stands of oil lamps in the corners, their light made soft and diffuse by the steam. The room was paneled in a rich cherry stained wood. A large standing wooden tub was against one wall. There were several bathing stools scattered about on the tile floor. Shelves holding buckets, brushes and other bathing implements were to my immediate right I sent a small zephyr into the room, smiling as it made the mist swirl about. The moisture settling on my skin was making me feel cleaner already.
Kanna closed the sliding door behind me and went over to the shelving. "Careful, the floor can be slippery," she said as she gathered up a buckets and brushes.
"Thank you for your concern dear sister," I said through cleansed teeth. I hung my Kimono up on the row of pegs to my left. I would be polite and ladylike until one of us was dead. I really had to work on my temper; this was not yet the time to make my move.
Kanna had already filled several buckets from the tub and placed them by a stool. I walked over and sat down on the stool. Using the dipper in one of the buckets, I poured some of the hot water over myself. Then I proceeded with scrub brush and soap. The stiff bristles felt wonderful as I finally scoured the filth from my skin.
I glanced up and saw that Kanna had taken a seat on one of the stools, over by the tub. She was leaning back against the tub with her feet propped up on another stool, staring into a mirror propped up on her knees. She was gazing into the mirror oblivious to the world. A faint glow was coming from the mirror, causing the steam to create a halo effect around her. She was apparently going to let me bathe in peace. Yet I didn't need peace from her, what I needed information.
"Strange, I didn't expect you to be the narcissistic type," I said hoping to get the silent one to open up. I needed to get her to talk, if I tried to dance out of here in the dark I was bound to trip and fall. With Naraku's very sincere death threat, I couldn't take a chance without a sure chance of success. I ran the brush down my side, ah this felt wonderful, I would not give up being alive.
"I have no reflection to admire," Kanna whispered distractedly, eyes still focused on the mirror.
"So your mirror isn't a form of conceit," I responded hoping to draw her out.
"I am void, as such I have no reflection," she whispered in an eerie monotone.
"I would imagine that it would be hard to be egotistical if you lack one," I replied. So if she wasn't looking at her reflection, then what was she looking at. I was unsure of what tactic I should lend to my words. Words were nothing but moving air, and a wind by any other name would still destroy the same.
"Why would one value anything," she said. "The purity of nothingness should be the goal of us all."
"So what is it that you are gazing upon, in that mirror of yours," I said trying to keep from shuddering at this repulsive and alien idea of hers.
"I am looking for a wolf," she replied.
"Well if you say your nothing then why would you expect to see a wolf in the mirror," I said slightly bewildered. I busied myself resoaping my brush to give myself time to think.
"I am using the mirror to scry on a demon wolf tribe," Kanna said looking up at me.
"Ah, so you have the power to cast your eyes to distant places," I said with sudden understanding.
"Yes, I seek something for our father," Kanna stated. Her blank eyes seemed to be sucking at my soul. I quickly avoided them, and started to rinse myself off.
"Did he lose something of importance," I said. Did I have something to do with this strange quest of Naraku's? Why did he create me? I was certainly not created out of kindness or love, I was nothing but a tool too Naraku.
"Naraku desires to use a certain wolf to hunt down a dog," Kanna said.
"Does this dog guard something of value," I said intrigued. What could this dog be guarding, and if I got it first could I use it to negotiate my freedom. I started scrubbing a particularly bad patch of caked crud on my leg, as I pondered this.
"The dog has fragments of our father's jewel," said Kanna as she returned to her inspection of the mirror.
"Ah, and Naraku would like them back. I take it the fragments are valuable," I said thoughtfully.
"They are fragments of the Shikon No Tama. The jewel is very powerful but Naraku is missing some of the pieces," said Kanna.
"So Naraku has most of his jewel but a dog yet guards some of the missing pieces," I said.
"Naraku believes that they are only four or six pieces still missing from his jewel. When he recovers them he will be a very powerful demon," said Kanna.
"So this jewel gives him power," I said wondering if I could wrest control of it from that bastard.
"He used its power to create us," said Kanna.
"So why use a wolf besides some desperate try at symbolism," I said mystified. Why was he having difficulty defeating a mere dog? There had to be more to this then Kanna was letting on.
"The wolf possesses two fragments of the jewel," said Kanna.
"So Naraku has been studying Sun Tzu," I said. Naraku seemed to be working to pit two enemies against each other. Let the wolf take out the dog, and then Naraku sweeps in and defeats an exhausted wolf.
"Our father is devising a game so that he wins the game whichever way it ends," said Kanna.
"So he doesn't care who wins so long as one of the two is defeated, then he will swoop in and destroy the weakened loser," I said.
"No, then we go in and defeat the weakened opponent," said Kana glaring at me.
"An elaborate and clever game then. Three sets of pawns manipulated so that Naraku the puppet master never risks himself," I said. So at last, I was finding out what Naraku wanted with my life. I was to risk my life so that Naraku wouldn't have to risk his own. Well I've got news for you my master; this pawn is seeking to promote herself.
"Naraku is to usher in a new age, he must not risk himself," Kanna whispered softly.
"Don't you want to live, and do as you will," I asked. Could Kanna be pried away from Naraku? Could Kanna be an ally and not an enemy?
"Life has no meaning, the achievement of nothingness is the only goal worth having," Kanna said as she looked at me with her dead eyes.
"Forgive me if I don't share your desires," I said unable to hide the shivers that were running up my spine. She could never be my ally it seems. Could I trust my life to one who saw life as a meaningless and ultimately worthless endeavor?
"It matters not if I forgive you or not," she said returning to her wolf hunt.
"I see, well I'm sure then that Naraku will give you your hearts desire," I said running my hands over my smooth perfect skin. I tried to calm my shivers, how can one want to give up all sensation. I ran my hand up my back, and encountered roughness. I rubbed the roughness thinking perhaps it was some more dried slime, but no this was my skin.
"Kanna what is wrong with my back," I said turning on my stool to present my back to her.
"Nothing is wrong, your back is well," she replied dismissively.
"But there is a rough spot," I said rubbing the spot on my back. It was huge and seemed to consist of a large central mass with spokes radiating out from it. The sensation when I touched the skin there seemed deadened, as though part of my skins ability to feel had been burned away.
"It is a scar," replied Kanna.
"When did I injure myself like this," I said. I tried to remember anything that could have caused this but couldn't. I looked over my shoulder at Kanna, and glared at her.
"Here," she said and held up her mirror so I could see my reflection. There on my back was a huge scar. It was shaped exactly like a huge spider, and I felt nauseous just looking at that hideous damage to my body. The skin was winkled and puckered, and nasty shade of pink.
"Do you know how I acquired this damage," I asked.
"It is your birthmark. I have one to," she said as she lowered the mirror and stood up. She turned around and let her Kimono fall to her waist. There upon her back was a spider scar, alike in aspect to my own.
"A birthmark, so this is my inheritance," I said. A wonderful dowry to bestow upon ones offspring. If it was acquired from my birth and creation then Naraku was behind it. I had been scarred by the workings of my sick and twisted father.
"It a reflection of the scar that Naraku himself has on his back," Kanna said.
"So I have a birthmark inherited from Naraku, on my back," I said my gorge rising in my stomach. I knew that Naraku was going to be on my back, but this was intolerable. I raised the long handled bath brush, and stared at it. 'something had to be done about this,' I thought contemplating the stiff bristles. It was like being branded; this person belongs to Naraku, if found please return. No, this scar was going to come off one way or another. I closed my eyes and reached behind me with the brush.
"Kagura, stop that," Kanna stated loudly! It wasn't much of a shout, but then I supposed that the mousey voiced freak couldn't manage anything louder. I heard a shuffling as she approached me. Her footsteps slightly masked by the sound of my scrub brush.
"No, this has got to go," I screamed back, glaring at her over my shoulder. I scrubbed at the scar harder with the brush. It was painful, but it felt good as though I was rubbing away at a bad itch. Pain and pleasure mixed up, so it was hard to separate the two feelings.
"Naraku does not wish you damaged if it doesn't profit him," Kanna said raising her mirror as she took another step towards me.
"Try to stop ...," I started to say when I suddenly felt weak and dizzy. I was surrounded by an icy white aura that was being sucked up by Kanna's mirror. I collapsed off the stool, rolling onto the wet tiles. My bath brush skittered out of my hand leaving a trail of crimson on the floor. I rolled onto my stomach, desperately trying to push myself up and away from Kanna.
"Sister, you must learn obedience," Kanna said. She stood above my helpless body, her Kimono loosely cinched. She looked down at me without expression, as her mirror continued to suck up my strength. I couldn't avoid that horrid gaze as she contemplated my helpless naked body, and the mark of ownership branded onto my back.
The room was fading, objects blurring even more in the steam-shrouded room. I tried to move but my body would not obey the instruction my mind was frantically shouting at it. I looked into Kanna's unsympathetic eyes, cold fear flooding my mind. Even thought was becoming harder as Kanna sucked my strength into her mirror.
"I have your soul trapped in my mirror," Kanna said her voice echoing in the dim room. She held the mirror, so that I could see the swirling whiteness of my soul, trapped behind the silvered glass. Suddenly the mirror blazed white, and a bolt of intense light flew from the mirror straight at my face.
"Arrgh," I screamed! It felt as though someone had hit every part of my body at once. Suddenly it felt as though pins and needles were stabbing me everywhere. I twisted and rolled on the floor, trying to escape the pain. I felt my strength slowly returning. The world refocused, and I saw Kanna walking away towards the door.
"I have returned your soul. I shall be back in a bit with a fresh Kimono for you and wind-charm beads for your hair. Try not to do yourself an injury while I'm gone," she said. She turned to give me a hard look as she slid open the door. She then exited the room, closing the door firmly behind her.
Weakly I pushed myself up off the floor. My legs didn't feel strong enough to support my weight, so I just knelt on the cold tiles. So I bore the mark of Naraku, which proclaimed to the world that I was his offspring. Anyone who saw it would make their judgments based on that. They would know I was neither a princess, or a lady. Would they pity me, or condemn me as just another offspring of that jerk bastard Naraku. My eyes blurred with tears, as I wept in frustration. I wanted to soar unfettered to heights undreamt of, yet I was the lowest of the low; a mere extension of a madman. This was a controlling barb that he had truly sunk into my skin.
I soon grew bored with the tears that attempted to wash the pain from my newly returned soul. I upended a bucket of clean cold water over my head to rinse off my body. I gasped and summoned a small comforting breeze that twined about my body. I then got up and stumbled over to the waist high tub. I looked down at my reflection, yes even with the tears I had a pretty face. Could a pretty face make up for the vile scar on my back. I let myself fall into the tub, seeking to soak this feeling of worthlessness from my nearly returned soul.
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The warm water soothed the aches out of my body and soul. I leaned back into the wall of the tub, a soft sigh escaping my lips. I had found a brief refuge from the horror that was my life, a stolen moment just for me. I manipulated a small stream of air, desperately working it into a complex pattern. I was desperate to keep my mind occupied with something other then my bleak situation. I looked at the patterns my wind was making in the steam, hoping to perhaps divine some hidden meaning to my existence. Yes just relaxing and playing with the wind, while I could before the horror that was my existence returned. Snatching a brief moment of joy, I smiled and let my body relax.
Daughter of his or not, he had no right to control me. Since he is my creator, did that make me his slave? Did I have to submit myself meekly to his whims simply because I was his offspring? I sighed in frustration; philosophy was definitely not one of my strengths. But did I need a sound philosophical reason to know that a soul should be free to seek it's own destination. Wasn't knowing that freedom was what my soul yearned for enough. Just because I bore his mark on my body, did that make my body his to do with as he pleased.
The squeaking of the floorboards outside the door suddenly caused me to gasp in fear. My stomach clenched in dread, and I sat up with a gasp of fear. I saw the door slowly open, and lowered myself deeper into the tub. Kanna came in clutching a bundle of clothing. She looked at me with dispassionate eyes, as she closed the door and walked over towards me. I raised myself back to a sitting position, ashamed that I should feel such fear. I was furious that my little moment of peace and joy had been taken back.
"Those are very fine looking clothes for a slave," I said as I looked at the silken Kimono in her hands. I saw a rich blue over-kimono with light blue stripes and a leaf pattern. There was also a brilliant red under- kimono with what looked to be outlines of birds and geometric shapes in white. They were very expensive looking, and obviously made for a high lady. They would look wonderful on me, and be yet another controlling string being tugged by my father.
"Naraku will not have it be said he is to poor to dress his own daughter," whispered Kanna.
"This sartorial statement is for Naraku's sake not mine," I said softly. Of course, I was just a fancy possession of his to show off. I was to be his representative, so he wanted me to look good. He would give me the outward guise of a princess, yet make damn sure I knew that I was a slave. There might as well be a silken spider web going from my scar straight to Naraku's hand.
"Yes, you represent him not yourself," she said her eyes boring into me. She was challenging me to defy her. She knew she had me cowed.
"When do I go out on this mission then," I asked? I might be under his control, but at least that would be a little freedom. Besides, I was getting cabin fever cramped up in this castle. I needed to get out and do something, spread my wings and have some fun.
"Soon, the pieces are slowly moving to their proper places," Kanna replied as she sat the clothes down on one of the stools. She then walked back over the shelves for grooming supplies laid out on the shelves. Her movements showing a total lack of concern, since she knew I was harmless.
"Very well then," I said as I stood up and braced my hands on the edge of the tub. I crouched and then vaulted from the tub. I landed gracefully, in a half crouch. Alright, just think of me as harmless you little bitch. That will be just one more advantage for me.
"You seek to be Kagura in truth," Kanna whispered, gazing up at me as she turned back towards me. Her cold eyes coolly looking me up and down. She took a slight step backwards.
"Words are but wind and a name giving in jest I will turn to my strength," I said glaring down at my little sister. I suddenly called forth a strong gale that circled about my body. I luxuriated in the caressing wind, as it blew the moisture from my body and dried my hair. One rash show of strength and I blew my slight advantage. But it felt good to see the little bitch hesitate for an instant.
"Careful you don't overstep your self," Kanna said in a low menacing voice.
"I've been thinking, as I bathed. I will obey Naraku and honor his wishes, but I will not be weak," I said as I glared at my sister. I clamped down on the knot of fear in my stomach. I would be strong, and show nothing but strength. Naraku needed me for now. I would bide my time and seek to keep Naraku close and off balance. My time would come but it was not here yet.
"This is good," Kanna said as she waved towards the clothes, indicating that I should dress myself.
"I wouldn't presume to be naught but the dutiful daughter," I said a small smile playing on my lips. I pulled on the luxurious clothing. Cinching the obi tight, I straightened everything out, and then gave a little twirl. I smiled at the feel of the silk as it moved against my skin. The wonderful feeling of hiding my birthmark from the world made me sigh with relief.
"Truly you are almost ready to dance to Naraku's tune," Kanna said.
"You think I'm not," I blurted out. Did the little brat see through my deceptions? I tried to maintain a stony face as I gazed down at her.
"You will need these threaded in your hair first," she replied holding out her hand. They were some plain wooden beads in her palm. They were the kind of beads that were often used to make wind-charms.
"What are those for," I asked trying to keep any hint of fear from creeping into my voice.
"Sit down on that stool," she said gesturing with a comb, she had removed from her Kimono.
I sat down and she came over and proceeded to comb out my shoulder length hair. Then she threaded beads onto a small lock of my hair right behind my ear. The top bead nestled right under my earlobe, and I suddenly could feel exactly how the air was moving about me. She repeated this for my other side, and I could suddenly pick out how and where the air was twirling about the room. The little wind charms were telling me all the little secrets of how the air about me was moving.
"Naraku, made these with the power of she Shikon Jewel," Kanna said.
I concentrated and closed my eyes. There wasn't a movement of wind near me that I could hide from me. I could feel exactly where Kanna's comb was as she waved it about my head. I could feel the updraft of the air over the hot tub. I sensed the sudden and violent vortices of air rising above the flames of the lanterns. I extended my senses further and felt the wind as it moved eastward and flowed over the castle. There were small eddies and whirlwinds in the courtyard outside. The wind was truly mine, I thought as I my mind soared around the castle, listening to the whispers of the wind.
"Through you the wind shall be Naraku's to control," Kanna whispered. She tied my hair into a high top knot and I could feel even more details as another bead was braded onto the ribbon that tied it into place. Kanna suddenly held her mirror, before my eyes, and I gazed upon her work. The beads by my ears almost looked, as though they were attached to them, like false earrings. My eyes were a deep red that glowed in the light. I studied my face and saw it for the first time free from pain. How could something this beautiful have come from that hideous beast Naraku? I smiled at my reflection, captured by the mirror.
"Yes Naraku will get what he truly deserves," I replied with a smile.
"I am glad that you have come to realize your place," Kanna whispered in my ear.
"I will honor and obey Naraku my father," I said. I would wait and watch, patiently examining my prison. I would eventually figure out the path I had to dance, to effect my escape. My stomach suddenly rumbled, and I felt a pain of hunger.
"You will be the embodiment of our father's will," Kanna said, walking back to put the grooming supplies away.
"Well I will need to get something to eat before I direct the wind as Naraku's will," I said. I stood up and walked over to the door. I glanced back at Kanna and opened the door. She made no move to impede me; it looked like I had managed to gain some measure of trust from her.
"I will have something sent to your rooms, I'm sure you will be able to find your way back," Kanna said.
"I will await the repast," I said as I moved out into the hall. I walked down the darkened corridor, on light feet. I just had to dance lightly, and just beyond Naraku's grasp. I would dance to his tune for now, however I would be forever ready to fly to freedom. Patience would bring about the day that I would set my own tune. It wasn't only food for which I hungered, for my soul hungered for the taste of freedom.
Chapter 2: The Wind and The Void
Genre: Action/Suspense/Horror
Pairings: Non-romance Kagura centric – Kagura/World, and Kagura/Family
Rating: R – violence, language and nudity
Summary: Naraku decides to create a new pawn for his game. But will he be able to control this willful and spirited incarnation. The wind is free and wild, and it will not calmly accept enslavement. Kagura is the name of a Shinto dance. Can Naraku force the wind to dance to his will?
{Inuyasha and all his world belongs to Rumiko Takahashi. I'm just playing with them in a not for profit manner. None of my work has any reflection or claim on the world and works of Rumiko Takahashi.}
I would like to thank the kind reviewers of my first chapter. I hope that this chapter meets and exceeds, the standard set by the last.
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Chapter 2 – The Wind and The Void
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I limped over to the window, and looked sadly out at the freedom, which was denied me. I grabbed the wooden bars to steady myself, and pulled myself up in order to see as far as possible. I stuck my head out between the bars and luxuriated in the stiff breeze. My body might be held but at least my head was free of that cage of a room. I inhaled the wonderful scents that were born on the wind. I gazed out at the sun setting beyond the blue mountains, and the glorious crimson sunset. Someday I too would have the freedom to go beyond the mountains, and seek the source of the wind that was blowing down them. Naraku might hold my heart but he wouldn't tame my spirit.
I sighed, and ran my hand thru my cruddy hair. I really needed that bath, both physically and spiritually. I desperately desired to feel clean, to wash away this taint that I felt. Naraku, made me feel dirty and helpless. To think that I had been born from such a vile creature. I couldn't let him get any grasp on me. His ordering me to take a bath was certainly one such, a subtle little barb pushed into my spirit. Telling me to do something, I wanted to do anyway. Try to play your little game Naraku; I'll never be caught in your little trap.
So what if I'm not a princess, I can act like one. You won't take away my dignity Naraku. Of course standing here with my head stuck out between the window bars wasn't that dignified. I straightened up, only to experience a pinching pain as I tried to get my head back in. I stood there in shock for a second; no, I couldn't have gotten myself stuck. It felt as though the bars were closing in on my neck, slowly strangling me. I fought down the panic rising up within me, no this couldn't be happening. I had gotten myself trapped.
Why should I panic now, nothing had changed except the realization that I was trapped. I just needed to calm down, and stop hyperventilating. How could I slip Naraku's trap if I panicked at this minor predicament. I knew that my panic came from the fact that my movement was restricted. I had to move to exist, like the wind. I couldn't conceive of an existence where I was nothing. To be nothing, a void; that had to be the worst possible existence imaginable. A small shiver went down my spine as I thought of this. I choked down several ragged gasps, and shook the bars in frustration.
There had to be a way out of this, after all the bars had been wide enough to get my head thru in the first place. Wait, I put my head thru higher up. I gripped the bars and pulled myself up as high as I could go, winching as my neck scraped on the rough wood. I sighed in relief as I felt the pressure suddenly ease, and I was able to slip my head back out through the bars. My head was back in this cage of a room, I was no less trapped. I was trapped yet I now had the ability to move and act, there was a difference. If you could move around in the trap, sooner or later there will come an opportunity to slip out of the trap. Naraku put me in this trap, yet where there was an entrance, there had to be an exit. I would go along with Naraku's plans, and eventually I would pop out of his grasp too. Sometimes you have to figure out how the trap works in order to get out of it, I just had to bide my time and figure out this little puzzle.
I was just in an elaborate version of a puzzle box, and I had to figure out the proper way to manipulate the pieces. If there is one thing I understood, it was movement. Naraku was attempting to train me, so that I would be my own keeper. After all what better jailor was there then yourself? Naraku wanted me to spin around like a vortex of leaves spinning trapped in the corner of the courtyard. Naraku thought himself a puppeteer and was trying to sink his barb tipped strings into my flesh, and walk me where he willed.
I would not walk to Naraku's will, but would dance gracefully. Naraku had named me Kagura in jest at my newborn clumsiness. Well I might have been born yesterday, but I could see the subtle little trap. He was trying to make me doubt myself. A clever little barb sunk into my confidence. Well what he gave me in mockery; I would embrace and make it my strength. I would deny his aspersions, and claim my name for myself. Yes a graceful dancer, who will dance her way to the freedom that others sought to deny her.
I closed my eyes and summoned a small light whirlwind, and stepped into it's vortex. I smiled as I felt it caress my body, and began to dance with my partner. I ignored the faint throbbing of my injured foot, as I gave my body completely over to my dance. I smiled as the joy of my movements swelled up in my chest. I twirled about the small room in counterpoint to my pulsing little zephyr. I moved slowly to a mild breeze that caressed my cheek. Long fluid movements, as I imitated a light breeze. Fast and abrupt movements as I sent a sudden gust twirling about the room. Yes, movement to honor the wind and the joy of existence. My body might be caged in Naraku's horrible little cage, yet my spirit could still soar with the wind. Nothing was going to stop my dance of freedom.
I gave a small leap and sailed across the room, my wind twirling around me in a loving caress. Suddenly there was a blur of motion in front of me, and the door suddenly appeared in my line of sight. This was followed by blazing pain in my head, and a loud echoing knock that rang in my head. A brief feeling of vertigo ending abruptly as the ground slammed into my ass. Rubbing my nose, I glared at the little girl, who was holding the doorknob of the just opened door. She was albino pale with white hair, and white flowers behind her ears that went perfectly with her dead eyes.
"Who the hell do you think you are," I snarled at the girl. Damn, I lost my composure again. I would never get out of this trap if I couldn't control myself.
"I am nobody but you may call me Kanna," the little waif responded, as she regarded me with her blank eyes. She didn't have any expression on her blank face. I shivered as she stared at me; the little bitch gave me the creeps. So this was the sister that Naraku had mentioned.
"A child is my older sister? I hope your not expecting me to look up to you," I snarled at the creep. What type of being was this weird little girl? Was she truly another creation of Naraku's as I was? I needed answers to this new piece of the puzzle.
"Naraku our father informed me of your clumsiness Kagura, please avoid tripping on the way to the bath," she whispered while turning and walking back out into the dark hall.
"Next time knock," I muttered under my breath, as I got to my feet. I sighed and followed her out into the quiet nighttime corridors of the castle. Mustering all the grace and stateliness I could, I followed the twerp towards my bath.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The air was thick with steam in the bathing room. The only light came from stands of oil lamps in the corners, their light made soft and diffuse by the steam. The room was paneled in a rich cherry stained wood. A large standing wooden tub was against one wall. There were several bathing stools scattered about on the tile floor. Shelves holding buckets, brushes and other bathing implements were to my immediate right I sent a small zephyr into the room, smiling as it made the mist swirl about. The moisture settling on my skin was making me feel cleaner already.
Kanna closed the sliding door behind me and went over to the shelving. "Careful, the floor can be slippery," she said as she gathered up a buckets and brushes.
"Thank you for your concern dear sister," I said through cleansed teeth. I hung my Kimono up on the row of pegs to my left. I would be polite and ladylike until one of us was dead. I really had to work on my temper; this was not yet the time to make my move.
Kanna had already filled several buckets from the tub and placed them by a stool. I walked over and sat down on the stool. Using the dipper in one of the buckets, I poured some of the hot water over myself. Then I proceeded with scrub brush and soap. The stiff bristles felt wonderful as I finally scoured the filth from my skin.
I glanced up and saw that Kanna had taken a seat on one of the stools, over by the tub. She was leaning back against the tub with her feet propped up on another stool, staring into a mirror propped up on her knees. She was gazing into the mirror oblivious to the world. A faint glow was coming from the mirror, causing the steam to create a halo effect around her. She was apparently going to let me bathe in peace. Yet I didn't need peace from her, what I needed information.
"Strange, I didn't expect you to be the narcissistic type," I said hoping to get the silent one to open up. I needed to get her to talk, if I tried to dance out of here in the dark I was bound to trip and fall. With Naraku's very sincere death threat, I couldn't take a chance without a sure chance of success. I ran the brush down my side, ah this felt wonderful, I would not give up being alive.
"I have no reflection to admire," Kanna whispered distractedly, eyes still focused on the mirror.
"So your mirror isn't a form of conceit," I responded hoping to draw her out.
"I am void, as such I have no reflection," she whispered in an eerie monotone.
"I would imagine that it would be hard to be egotistical if you lack one," I replied. So if she wasn't looking at her reflection, then what was she looking at. I was unsure of what tactic I should lend to my words. Words were nothing but moving air, and a wind by any other name would still destroy the same.
"Why would one value anything," she said. "The purity of nothingness should be the goal of us all."
"So what is it that you are gazing upon, in that mirror of yours," I said trying to keep from shuddering at this repulsive and alien idea of hers.
"I am looking for a wolf," she replied.
"Well if you say your nothing then why would you expect to see a wolf in the mirror," I said slightly bewildered. I busied myself resoaping my brush to give myself time to think.
"I am using the mirror to scry on a demon wolf tribe," Kanna said looking up at me.
"Ah, so you have the power to cast your eyes to distant places," I said with sudden understanding.
"Yes, I seek something for our father," Kanna stated. Her blank eyes seemed to be sucking at my soul. I quickly avoided them, and started to rinse myself off.
"Did he lose something of importance," I said. Did I have something to do with this strange quest of Naraku's? Why did he create me? I was certainly not created out of kindness or love, I was nothing but a tool too Naraku.
"Naraku desires to use a certain wolf to hunt down a dog," Kanna said.
"Does this dog guard something of value," I said intrigued. What could this dog be guarding, and if I got it first could I use it to negotiate my freedom. I started scrubbing a particularly bad patch of caked crud on my leg, as I pondered this.
"The dog has fragments of our father's jewel," said Kanna as she returned to her inspection of the mirror.
"Ah, and Naraku would like them back. I take it the fragments are valuable," I said thoughtfully.
"They are fragments of the Shikon No Tama. The jewel is very powerful but Naraku is missing some of the pieces," said Kanna.
"So Naraku has most of his jewel but a dog yet guards some of the missing pieces," I said.
"Naraku believes that they are only four or six pieces still missing from his jewel. When he recovers them he will be a very powerful demon," said Kanna.
"So this jewel gives him power," I said wondering if I could wrest control of it from that bastard.
"He used its power to create us," said Kanna.
"So why use a wolf besides some desperate try at symbolism," I said mystified. Why was he having difficulty defeating a mere dog? There had to be more to this then Kanna was letting on.
"The wolf possesses two fragments of the jewel," said Kanna.
"So Naraku has been studying Sun Tzu," I said. Naraku seemed to be working to pit two enemies against each other. Let the wolf take out the dog, and then Naraku sweeps in and defeats an exhausted wolf.
"Our father is devising a game so that he wins the game whichever way it ends," said Kanna.
"So he doesn't care who wins so long as one of the two is defeated, then he will swoop in and destroy the weakened loser," I said.
"No, then we go in and defeat the weakened opponent," said Kana glaring at me.
"An elaborate and clever game then. Three sets of pawns manipulated so that Naraku the puppet master never risks himself," I said. So at last, I was finding out what Naraku wanted with my life. I was to risk my life so that Naraku wouldn't have to risk his own. Well I've got news for you my master; this pawn is seeking to promote herself.
"Naraku is to usher in a new age, he must not risk himself," Kanna whispered softly.
"Don't you want to live, and do as you will," I asked. Could Kanna be pried away from Naraku? Could Kanna be an ally and not an enemy?
"Life has no meaning, the achievement of nothingness is the only goal worth having," Kanna said as she looked at me with her dead eyes.
"Forgive me if I don't share your desires," I said unable to hide the shivers that were running up my spine. She could never be my ally it seems. Could I trust my life to one who saw life as a meaningless and ultimately worthless endeavor?
"It matters not if I forgive you or not," she said returning to her wolf hunt.
"I see, well I'm sure then that Naraku will give you your hearts desire," I said running my hands over my smooth perfect skin. I tried to calm my shivers, how can one want to give up all sensation. I ran my hand up my back, and encountered roughness. I rubbed the roughness thinking perhaps it was some more dried slime, but no this was my skin.
"Kanna what is wrong with my back," I said turning on my stool to present my back to her.
"Nothing is wrong, your back is well," she replied dismissively.
"But there is a rough spot," I said rubbing the spot on my back. It was huge and seemed to consist of a large central mass with spokes radiating out from it. The sensation when I touched the skin there seemed deadened, as though part of my skins ability to feel had been burned away.
"It is a scar," replied Kanna.
"When did I injure myself like this," I said. I tried to remember anything that could have caused this but couldn't. I looked over my shoulder at Kanna, and glared at her.
"Here," she said and held up her mirror so I could see my reflection. There on my back was a huge scar. It was shaped exactly like a huge spider, and I felt nauseous just looking at that hideous damage to my body. The skin was winkled and puckered, and nasty shade of pink.
"Do you know how I acquired this damage," I asked.
"It is your birthmark. I have one to," she said as she lowered the mirror and stood up. She turned around and let her Kimono fall to her waist. There upon her back was a spider scar, alike in aspect to my own.
"A birthmark, so this is my inheritance," I said. A wonderful dowry to bestow upon ones offspring. If it was acquired from my birth and creation then Naraku was behind it. I had been scarred by the workings of my sick and twisted father.
"It a reflection of the scar that Naraku himself has on his back," Kanna said.
"So I have a birthmark inherited from Naraku, on my back," I said my gorge rising in my stomach. I knew that Naraku was going to be on my back, but this was intolerable. I raised the long handled bath brush, and stared at it. 'something had to be done about this,' I thought contemplating the stiff bristles. It was like being branded; this person belongs to Naraku, if found please return. No, this scar was going to come off one way or another. I closed my eyes and reached behind me with the brush.
"Kagura, stop that," Kanna stated loudly! It wasn't much of a shout, but then I supposed that the mousey voiced freak couldn't manage anything louder. I heard a shuffling as she approached me. Her footsteps slightly masked by the sound of my scrub brush.
"No, this has got to go," I screamed back, glaring at her over my shoulder. I scrubbed at the scar harder with the brush. It was painful, but it felt good as though I was rubbing away at a bad itch. Pain and pleasure mixed up, so it was hard to separate the two feelings.
"Naraku does not wish you damaged if it doesn't profit him," Kanna said raising her mirror as she took another step towards me.
"Try to stop ...," I started to say when I suddenly felt weak and dizzy. I was surrounded by an icy white aura that was being sucked up by Kanna's mirror. I collapsed off the stool, rolling onto the wet tiles. My bath brush skittered out of my hand leaving a trail of crimson on the floor. I rolled onto my stomach, desperately trying to push myself up and away from Kanna.
"Sister, you must learn obedience," Kanna said. She stood above my helpless body, her Kimono loosely cinched. She looked down at me without expression, as her mirror continued to suck up my strength. I couldn't avoid that horrid gaze as she contemplated my helpless naked body, and the mark of ownership branded onto my back.
The room was fading, objects blurring even more in the steam-shrouded room. I tried to move but my body would not obey the instruction my mind was frantically shouting at it. I looked into Kanna's unsympathetic eyes, cold fear flooding my mind. Even thought was becoming harder as Kanna sucked my strength into her mirror.
"I have your soul trapped in my mirror," Kanna said her voice echoing in the dim room. She held the mirror, so that I could see the swirling whiteness of my soul, trapped behind the silvered glass. Suddenly the mirror blazed white, and a bolt of intense light flew from the mirror straight at my face.
"Arrgh," I screamed! It felt as though someone had hit every part of my body at once. Suddenly it felt as though pins and needles were stabbing me everywhere. I twisted and rolled on the floor, trying to escape the pain. I felt my strength slowly returning. The world refocused, and I saw Kanna walking away towards the door.
"I have returned your soul. I shall be back in a bit with a fresh Kimono for you and wind-charm beads for your hair. Try not to do yourself an injury while I'm gone," she said. She turned to give me a hard look as she slid open the door. She then exited the room, closing the door firmly behind her.
Weakly I pushed myself up off the floor. My legs didn't feel strong enough to support my weight, so I just knelt on the cold tiles. So I bore the mark of Naraku, which proclaimed to the world that I was his offspring. Anyone who saw it would make their judgments based on that. They would know I was neither a princess, or a lady. Would they pity me, or condemn me as just another offspring of that jerk bastard Naraku. My eyes blurred with tears, as I wept in frustration. I wanted to soar unfettered to heights undreamt of, yet I was the lowest of the low; a mere extension of a madman. This was a controlling barb that he had truly sunk into my skin.
I soon grew bored with the tears that attempted to wash the pain from my newly returned soul. I upended a bucket of clean cold water over my head to rinse off my body. I gasped and summoned a small comforting breeze that twined about my body. I then got up and stumbled over to the waist high tub. I looked down at my reflection, yes even with the tears I had a pretty face. Could a pretty face make up for the vile scar on my back. I let myself fall into the tub, seeking to soak this feeling of worthlessness from my nearly returned soul.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The warm water soothed the aches out of my body and soul. I leaned back into the wall of the tub, a soft sigh escaping my lips. I had found a brief refuge from the horror that was my life, a stolen moment just for me. I manipulated a small stream of air, desperately working it into a complex pattern. I was desperate to keep my mind occupied with something other then my bleak situation. I looked at the patterns my wind was making in the steam, hoping to perhaps divine some hidden meaning to my existence. Yes just relaxing and playing with the wind, while I could before the horror that was my existence returned. Snatching a brief moment of joy, I smiled and let my body relax.
Daughter of his or not, he had no right to control me. Since he is my creator, did that make me his slave? Did I have to submit myself meekly to his whims simply because I was his offspring? I sighed in frustration; philosophy was definitely not one of my strengths. But did I need a sound philosophical reason to know that a soul should be free to seek it's own destination. Wasn't knowing that freedom was what my soul yearned for enough. Just because I bore his mark on my body, did that make my body his to do with as he pleased.
The squeaking of the floorboards outside the door suddenly caused me to gasp in fear. My stomach clenched in dread, and I sat up with a gasp of fear. I saw the door slowly open, and lowered myself deeper into the tub. Kanna came in clutching a bundle of clothing. She looked at me with dispassionate eyes, as she closed the door and walked over towards me. I raised myself back to a sitting position, ashamed that I should feel such fear. I was furious that my little moment of peace and joy had been taken back.
"Those are very fine looking clothes for a slave," I said as I looked at the silken Kimono in her hands. I saw a rich blue over-kimono with light blue stripes and a leaf pattern. There was also a brilliant red under- kimono with what looked to be outlines of birds and geometric shapes in white. They were very expensive looking, and obviously made for a high lady. They would look wonderful on me, and be yet another controlling string being tugged by my father.
"Naraku will not have it be said he is to poor to dress his own daughter," whispered Kanna.
"This sartorial statement is for Naraku's sake not mine," I said softly. Of course, I was just a fancy possession of his to show off. I was to be his representative, so he wanted me to look good. He would give me the outward guise of a princess, yet make damn sure I knew that I was a slave. There might as well be a silken spider web going from my scar straight to Naraku's hand.
"Yes, you represent him not yourself," she said her eyes boring into me. She was challenging me to defy her. She knew she had me cowed.
"When do I go out on this mission then," I asked? I might be under his control, but at least that would be a little freedom. Besides, I was getting cabin fever cramped up in this castle. I needed to get out and do something, spread my wings and have some fun.
"Soon, the pieces are slowly moving to their proper places," Kanna replied as she sat the clothes down on one of the stools. She then walked back over the shelves for grooming supplies laid out on the shelves. Her movements showing a total lack of concern, since she knew I was harmless.
"Very well then," I said as I stood up and braced my hands on the edge of the tub. I crouched and then vaulted from the tub. I landed gracefully, in a half crouch. Alright, just think of me as harmless you little bitch. That will be just one more advantage for me.
"You seek to be Kagura in truth," Kanna whispered, gazing up at me as she turned back towards me. Her cold eyes coolly looking me up and down. She took a slight step backwards.
"Words are but wind and a name giving in jest I will turn to my strength," I said glaring down at my little sister. I suddenly called forth a strong gale that circled about my body. I luxuriated in the caressing wind, as it blew the moisture from my body and dried my hair. One rash show of strength and I blew my slight advantage. But it felt good to see the little bitch hesitate for an instant.
"Careful you don't overstep your self," Kanna said in a low menacing voice.
"I've been thinking, as I bathed. I will obey Naraku and honor his wishes, but I will not be weak," I said as I glared at my sister. I clamped down on the knot of fear in my stomach. I would be strong, and show nothing but strength. Naraku needed me for now. I would bide my time and seek to keep Naraku close and off balance. My time would come but it was not here yet.
"This is good," Kanna said as she waved towards the clothes, indicating that I should dress myself.
"I wouldn't presume to be naught but the dutiful daughter," I said a small smile playing on my lips. I pulled on the luxurious clothing. Cinching the obi tight, I straightened everything out, and then gave a little twirl. I smiled at the feel of the silk as it moved against my skin. The wonderful feeling of hiding my birthmark from the world made me sigh with relief.
"Truly you are almost ready to dance to Naraku's tune," Kanna said.
"You think I'm not," I blurted out. Did the little brat see through my deceptions? I tried to maintain a stony face as I gazed down at her.
"You will need these threaded in your hair first," she replied holding out her hand. They were some plain wooden beads in her palm. They were the kind of beads that were often used to make wind-charms.
"What are those for," I asked trying to keep any hint of fear from creeping into my voice.
"Sit down on that stool," she said gesturing with a comb, she had removed from her Kimono.
I sat down and she came over and proceeded to comb out my shoulder length hair. Then she threaded beads onto a small lock of my hair right behind my ear. The top bead nestled right under my earlobe, and I suddenly could feel exactly how the air was moving about me. She repeated this for my other side, and I could suddenly pick out how and where the air was twirling about the room. The little wind charms were telling me all the little secrets of how the air about me was moving.
"Naraku, made these with the power of she Shikon Jewel," Kanna said.
I concentrated and closed my eyes. There wasn't a movement of wind near me that I could hide from me. I could feel exactly where Kanna's comb was as she waved it about my head. I could feel the updraft of the air over the hot tub. I sensed the sudden and violent vortices of air rising above the flames of the lanterns. I extended my senses further and felt the wind as it moved eastward and flowed over the castle. There were small eddies and whirlwinds in the courtyard outside. The wind was truly mine, I thought as I my mind soared around the castle, listening to the whispers of the wind.
"Through you the wind shall be Naraku's to control," Kanna whispered. She tied my hair into a high top knot and I could feel even more details as another bead was braded onto the ribbon that tied it into place. Kanna suddenly held her mirror, before my eyes, and I gazed upon her work. The beads by my ears almost looked, as though they were attached to them, like false earrings. My eyes were a deep red that glowed in the light. I studied my face and saw it for the first time free from pain. How could something this beautiful have come from that hideous beast Naraku? I smiled at my reflection, captured by the mirror.
"Yes Naraku will get what he truly deserves," I replied with a smile.
"I am glad that you have come to realize your place," Kanna whispered in my ear.
"I will honor and obey Naraku my father," I said. I would wait and watch, patiently examining my prison. I would eventually figure out the path I had to dance, to effect my escape. My stomach suddenly rumbled, and I felt a pain of hunger.
"You will be the embodiment of our father's will," Kanna said, walking back to put the grooming supplies away.
"Well I will need to get something to eat before I direct the wind as Naraku's will," I said. I stood up and walked over to the door. I glanced back at Kanna and opened the door. She made no move to impede me; it looked like I had managed to gain some measure of trust from her.
"I will have something sent to your rooms, I'm sure you will be able to find your way back," Kanna said.
"I will await the repast," I said as I moved out into the hall. I walked down the darkened corridor, on light feet. I just had to dance lightly, and just beyond Naraku's grasp. I would dance to his tune for now, however I would be forever ready to fly to freedom. Patience would bring about the day that I would set my own tune. It wasn't only food for which I hungered, for my soul hungered for the taste of freedom.
