Summer blinked against the glare of sunlight and slid out of her bed.

"Oh, god."

She looked terrible. Her Prada outfit was wrinkled beyond recognition, and her hair was messy and tangled in one of her earrings. She winced as she pulled the strands free and she walked over to the bathroom adjoined to her bedroom. She settled onto her vanity stool and listless pulled off her jewelry. She rubbed her temples and tried to remember how she'd gotten home.

She saw Seth's face in her mind's eye and shivered. She tried to focus as she peeled off her clothes and stepped into the shower. The water was warm and she huddled beneath it. She lifted her face to the showerhead to wash off her makeup, and as she closed her eyes she remembered the night before.

He loves you.

Shut up, shut up, shut up, the voice inside scolded. Seth Cohen is not a part of your life, he cannot be a part of the life you are supposed to lead. If you start to feel, you set yourself up for hurt and pain, and that cannot happen to you. You are different from all the step-mothers, you are self-sufficient, no man controls you in any way.

Summer poured some Origins Ginger shampoo into her hand and breathed in the heavy scent. Her hands found their old rhythm and rinsed out the shampoo before coating her hair in conditioner. She stood still for a moment, feeling the water slide across her bare skin.

A chill swept through her and she increased the temperature of the water. You have decided, the little voice told her, and you chose correctly. Summer nodded her head resolutely and rinsed her hair before stepping out of the shower. She wrapped herself in a towel and sat before her vanity.

Summer reached for a bottle of Armani foundation.

It was time to put the mask back on.

********************

Summer strode down the aisles of the hospital to visit Mr. Feinberg. These weren't her normal visit hours, and she was wearing a typical pre-Seth- Cohen Summer Roberts outfit - a short green pleated skirt with two tanks layered on top. She pulled the strap of the lilac one over the white underpinning and knocked on the door to #541.

"Come on in!"

"Well!" Summer swept into the room with a smile plastered on her face. "Doesn't someone should cheerful today?"

"You're one to talk, my dear." The old man winked at her. "You seem like a new person today. funny, I thought that I was the one on the special medication."

"Mr. Feinberg!" Summer playfully swatted his arm and settled down next to him. "I just wanted to stop in and see you for a bit to tell you that I'm sorry I've been such a total mope lately. I'm back to Miss Bubbly again, I promise."

"Sweetheart, there's no need to be Miss Bubbly, just be Miss Summer." Mr. Feinberg winked at her. "But before you go, we have some reading to do."

"Mr. Feinberg." Summer mock-whined in protest.

"C'mon." He slid open his bedside drawer and pulled out a copy of Anna Karenina. "Shh, don't tell anyone I swiped it from the cart."

"You're just a regular secret agent man." Summer teased.

"Ah, yes." Mr. Feinberg pushed up his glasses and affected a British accent. "Just can me Feinberg, Richard Feinberg." He handed the book over to her, and she sighed as she took it from him.

"Fine, fine," she conceded. "But just a little bit. I have a date with the noon sunshine, and my tan is in need of some serious help."

"That is serious." Mr. Feinberg agreed solemnly before smiling. Summer smiled back at him and flipped open the book to the marked page.

"At the end of the evening Kitty told her mother of her conversation with Levin, and in spite of all the pity she felt for Levin, she was glad at the thought that she had received an OFFER. She had no doubt that she had acted rightly. But after she had gone to bed, for a long while she could not sleep. One impression pursued her relentlessly. It was Levin's face, with his scowling brows, and his kind eyes looking out in dark dejection below them, as he stood listening to her father, and glancing at her and at Vronsky. And she felt so sorry for him that tears came into her eyes."

Summer's voice had started off strong and steady, but Mr. Feinberg caught a slight tremor as she read the last line. He watched her carefully as she paused slightly, inhaled and resumed, tossing her hair down her back and smiling animatedly. The break in character was almost imperceptible. She began reading again brightly. Every few lines, she'd slip a bit, and he watched as she built herself back up quickly. He shook his head gently. Poor girl.

"But immediately she thought of the man for whom she had given him up. She vividly recalled his manly, resolute face, his noble self-possession, and the good nature conspicuous in everything towards everyone. She remembered the love for her of the man she loved, and once more all was gladness in her soul, and she lay on the pillow, smiling with happiness. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry; but what could I do? It's not my fault," she said to herself; but an inner voice told her something else. Whether she felt remorse at having won Levin's love, or at having refused him, she did not know. But her happiness was poisoned by doubts. "Lord, have pity on us; Lord, have pity on us; Lord, have pity on us!" she repeated to herself, till she fell asleep."

She shut the book and smiled at him again. "And with that, I'm off to sleep in the sun!" Summer stood up and smoothed out her skirt, placing the book back on the nightstand table.

"Summer."

She turned and softened at the concerned look on the older man's face.

He spoke quietly. "You don't always have to be so brave, you know."

She gave him a slight, one-sided smile, lifting her chin before responding.

"Yes, I do."

She nodded at him and left the room, her words resonating through her thoughts.

********************

Summer enjoyed the ride to the beach. The wind blew her hair gently across her shoulders, and she sang along with the radio. A spot was open near the snack shack, and she slid the Mercedes into the space easily before heading down to the spot when Newport's most popular teenagers had gathered for years.

She smiled broadly as she approached the group, and noted Tom Seekin's face as she came closer. He cleared a space on his blanket and motioned for her to sit with him. As she settled into the space, she noticed the envy radiating from Holly and Ally. She breathed a little easier. Okay, the voice reminded her, Tom wants you, so he's your ticket back to the top of the food chain - just don't screw it up.

"Hey hottie." Tom slung an arm around her and pulled her closer. She tried not to wince. "We were all thinking about making an appearance at the country club bash this Friday. You in?"

"I'm in if you're in," she flirted. "What's the party for, anyway?"

"It's 'Under the Sea'" Holly snorted. "Like, can you believe that theme? It's for like, water wildlife or something. Whatever. At least they don't card at the club bar."

"Totally!" Summer spoke a little too loudly, but then quickly regained her composure. "I'm sure it'll be, like, awesome. We totally have to go shopping, girls! I've got Daddy's Visa!"

Holly and Ally squealed, and Summer kept a grin on her face while inwardly groaned. It was all so fake.

"Just get something sexy." Tom nuzzled her neck.

"Aren't I always sexy?" Summer volleyed back.

Tom laughed and stroked her bare skin. Summer tried to concentrate on the warm sunlight. You used to love this, the voice reminded. Summer surveyed the teenagers on the blanket and resigned herself to her old life. She looks at Tom carefully. He may not be perfect, the voice told her, but at least you're his first choice.