Chapter?: Kitsune of the forest, the great god of love and the Future of Sandwichville.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~f~*~*~*~*l*~*~*~o~*~*~*~*~*~*o*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~g*~*~*~**~*a
"Inuyasha, would you just stop complaining already? It's really not that heavy." Kagome reprimanded as she carried an entertainment center that had been just big enough to fit through a well to her cave "I mean, it's not like you're a human."
"Keh! This Teee Veee is heavier than whatever the hell that is you're carrying." Inuyasha had been hauling furniture that was just big enough to fit through a well, battery powered modern conveniences, and other household goods all morning, not without complaints, of course.
"It's an entertainment center, the Tee Vee goes in it."
"I don't see why we just don't go get Sango and the monk to help us. Why do we have to do all this damn work ourselves? They are going to be using it too you know!" Inuyasha attempted to cross his hands over his chest and almost dropped the T.V in the process.
"Be careful with that. And I've already explained this to you, Sango is pregnant, with two, she doesn't need to be lugging around heavy things, and besides, I want to surprise them! " Kagome' s eyes began to gain a scary, translucent sparkly quality. "First, I can show them their beautiful new home! Then I can even go on and tell them that they're having two baby girls! Oh! I can't wait!"
Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "What about Shippo and your brother?! Why can't they help?"
"For one, it wouldn't be much of a surprise for Sango and Miroku if I just went in there and said 'Shippo and Souta, I want you to come help me with something that Sango and Miroku can't help with'. And further more, can you really imagine those two helping? Shippo would probably just get in the way, and Souta has never lifted anything heavier than a video game controller in his life."
"Keh."
"We're almost done anyway, just about um… ten or so more loads.."
"Ten!?"
~*~
"Ohhhhh the pain… the horrendous pain." Miroku wailed from a futon in the corner, as he had been doing since last night.
"Would you just shut up already!" And because of this, no one had gotten any sleep, leaving everyone a tad bit…
"Jeezus! It can't be that bad! You want me to kill you and put you out of your misery" irritable.
'Did the future kid just threaten to kill Miroku? ' Kirara had found this all only too amusing.
'Can you really blame him?' Sango had pretty much given up on standing up for him.
"Oh, it buuuurrnnns. It buurrrns like all the fires of hell. Why is it that the curing miko Kaede would be gone at such a time!? Oh whyyyyy?"
Whilst Miroku was burning with all the fires of hell, a certain kitsune had turned himself into a mallet. A certain boy from the future was creeping up behind Miroku, wielding this kitsune-mallet.
Sango actually considered letting him go through with it, of course then those damn pregnancy hormones kicked in and she started feeling guilty. "Souta! No! You can't kill him!"
"I wasn't going to kill him."
"We were just going to knock him out a bit." added the mallet.
Miroku began pointing his right hand at his face. "Oh why, why did I get rid of this blessed Kazaana? Perhaps, if it were still here, it would spare me my suffering and bring me to the blessed light of death."
Sango got up and yanked Miroku's hand away from his face. "Shut up, you did something stupid; it hurts. I figured you would have learned this process by now, but apparently you haven't came to terms with it. If you don't want to hurt, don't do stupid things. Stop complaining, we're all sleepy and I'm pregnant, you don't want to piss off a pregnant woman, do you?"
"I'm diii ~eeeing. Oh, I see the great light of the beyond, it beckons for me."
You're not dieing. You got me pregnant and there is no way in hell you're gonna just leave me with a bastard child. You aren't dieing, you can't die, and even if you did, I'd kill you."
"Bu-"
"Kill you."
Souta and Shippo backed away from the scary pregnant lady, Miroku cowered into the futon and shut up, save a few occasional whimpering noises that sounded more than a little dog-like.
~*~
After finishing up taking everything to the cave, Kagome retrieved her mother and grandfather to help with the decorating.
Stupidly, Kagome had left her mother to do a whole room by herself. As a result, one room of the cave was now painted neon pink from floor to ceiling, little smiley faces painted on randomly. A shaggy pink rug, shaped like a flower laid in the middle of the floor. Countless vases full of flowers sat on small pink nightstands all around the room. A battery powered bubble maker sat on a large pink coffee table, there was also a battery powered fruit punch dispenser, a game of monopoly and two 'Care Bear' DVDs.
Mrs.Higurashi showed it to everyone else with pride, dubbing it 'The Happy Room', Kagome fainted, (from sheer happiness, as she later assured her mother), Jii-chan actually screamed and ran away, and Inuyasha reconsidered the benefits of suicide.
Mrs.Higurashi was no longer allowed to be left by herself.
~*~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~
A strange, puke green, utterly unidentifiable thing crept up to Miroku. It waved it's little frog-like hands and hit him on the head with the staff it was holding.
"AH! It's the icky bumpy green thing of Hell! Get it away from me! It has come for the ramen! Save the Ramen, Sir Elephant! Remember, we must protect the ramen from the icky bumpy green thing of hell with our lives! Sir Peanut Butter! It's gaining on you!"
Sango, Souta, Shippo, and Kirara each slowly stopped what they were doing and turned their heads. Only to see a frantic Miroku pointing at nothing and calling over his shoulder for reinforcement.
Sango cocked an eyebrow. "Maybe… maybe he really is dieing."
Miroku whipped his head in the direction of Sango's voice. "Oh beautiful Princess Sango! ! What are you doing out of Sir Fluffy's protection? Surely you would not risk your life for the people of Sandwichville! You can't! Your beauty is too great a sacrifice! And Sir Fluffy would surely be angry if you got your clothes dirty!"
He flinched at an attack no one else could see. "Ahhg! You will die now, RiceBallGirlofEvil! Die!" He turned back to Sango., "There isn't much time! You must leave!"
Sango wasn't sure whether to laugh hysterically or cry over the loss of her mate's loss of sanity.
Kirara had no such problem, she had been laughing hysterically ever since Miroku mentioned Sir Peanut Butter.
Shippo began to poke at Miroku, as that seemed to be the only thing he knew how to do in strange situations.
"Ahh! Kitsune Of The Forest! What is it that ails you, oh great god of love?"
"..e.rm…"
'god of love? Why god of love?' Sango asked Kirara, as if she would know, which she wouldn't. I mean, why would Kirara know of any reasons Shippo could be called the god of love?
'He's gone insane. Hey… what's up with future boy over there?'
Sango looked at future boy, who sat drawing on some parchment, as if everything was fine and dandy and right with the world, as if there wasn't a deranged monk fighting an imaginary battle over the future of Sandwichville in the same room with him.
"What?" The either highly oblivious or hard to phase future boy inquired, noticing the way everyone, except the monk making jabs with an invisible sword at an invisible enemy, was looking at him.
"Why… why… why does this not disturb you?" Sango finally managed to choke out in awe.
"Oh, him? Because he's just hallucinating, more than likely this is just some delusional side affect of the whole fried monk thing yesterday. Either that or he's gone insane, but I figure it's probably the former."
"Delusional?"
"Yeah, we learned about it at school. When someone is really sick, they can get delusional and have hallucinations…. Didn't you go to school? Oh.. Wait, never mind."
"Oh."
Shippo continued to poke at him, just for the hell of it.
"Oh! Fashion Demon of The Future! I need you're aid in this battle!
"Fashion Demon of the future?" Sango wondered where Miroku was coming up with all these names.
Souta rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed. "Um… that would be me."
Shippo suddenly got visions of Miroku and Souta playing a game of 'Defend Sandwichville', with Souta dressed, oddly enough, in Sesshoumaru's attire.
"The servant… um.. never mind. It's a long story." Souta began having flashbacks, of how the servant from yesterday had insisted on calling him 'Fashion Demon' for the whole trip.
'I really don't think I even want to know.'
Sango nodded to her fellow cat demon.
"Agh! Kitsune of the Forest! Fashion Demon of The Future! Ready yourselves! The marshmallows are coming! Save Princess Sango and her cat demon lover!"
Kirara looked at Sango as distastefully as her feline face could muster. 'He did not just call me your lover.'
Sango's eyes shown with nothing more than the vengeance of one who has finally had enough. She grabbed Shippo and whacked Miroku on the head with the poor Kitsune, momentarily forgetting Shippo was still in Shippo form, and no longer a mallet.
Sango, ever so calmly, walked away from the two unconscious youkai and laid down on her futon. "Good night Souta."
Souta thanked the gods for the peace and quiet and didn't even mention to Sango that it wasn't anywhere near being night time.
For the first time in a long while, Kirara slept far, far away from Sango.
~*~
Kagome did a quick survey of all the rooms, making sure there was nothing left to be done.
For some 'unknown' reason, she 'accidentally' skipped 'The Happy Room'.
"Well, It looks like we're about all done now!"
Inuyasha sat in his big red leather chair, the only thing he had picked out, of all the hundreds of things they bought. "Finally."
Mrs. Higurashi wasn't so sure. "But sweety! I think we should add some more flowers to 'The Happy Room'!"
Jii-chan began to tremble. There was no way in hell he was going back into the evil room. All that pink….
"Heh heh , heh, Mother, haha… It's perfect just the way it is!" Kagome assured, nervously.
"What's perfect?" Mrs.Higurashi asked, already having forgotten what they were talking about. "Ohh! I just can't wait to see Kawaii Sango, Kawaii Miroku, and the Cutie foxie!"
~*~
Kagome led her grandfather through the dark streets, while Inuyasha just watched Mrs.Higurashi stumble occasionally. The time sure had gotten away from them, but they had got an almost impossible amount of work done in one day (…heh).
"Inuyasha, my mother's a human! It's hard for her to see In the dark! You're supposed to be helping her, not watching her in amusement!"
"Oh sweety! It's fine! I rather enjoy falling and hitting my head on rocks! It makes me feel one with nature!"
Arriving at the hut, Kagome pushed the flap aside and walked into the dark room, at first unnoticing the sleeping figures on the floor.
"Um… anyone here?"
Mrs.Higurashi bounded in happily and tripped over something in the floor, falling on top of it. The something growled.
"Oh! It's Kawaii Sango! What are you guys doing asleepy? It's only-" Mrs.Higurashi looked at her wrist where her watch resided, still lying on top of Sango, "midnight!"
Sango sleepily opened her eyes. "Midnight? We've been asleep that long?" She tried to get up "Could you get off me?"
Mrs.Higurashi happily obliged and went to wake up Souta, falling down in the dark ever so often.
Seeing this, Kagome lit a candle.
Inuyasha nodded his head towards Miroku and Shippo. "What's wrong with those two? They don't smell asleep." He sniffed the air to make sure. "They smell knocked out."
"Still? Hmm.. Maybe I hit them a little too hard."
"Hit them? Demon! DEMON!" Jii-chan began throwing seals that had seemingly appeared in his grasp from nowhere, at Sango.
"Erm… could you stop that?" Sango removed a seal that had gotten stuck in her hair.
"What?! They do not work!?" And again, he was amazed by this. Short term memory loss, maybe?
"Souta sweety, honey, kiddie, baby! Mamma's here! Wakey Uppy!"
Souta sat up groggily, having been already woken up his mother's repeated crashing into the floor.
"I can see that." He looked to his sister and Inuyasha. "So, what did you buy?"
Inuyasha suddenly looked excited. "I bought a red chair!"
"Alright… um.. That's not all you bought… right?"
Mrs.Higurashi struck her arms out, wide. "Nope! We bought this much!" She widened the amount of space between her arms.
"Okay…"
Finally a little more awake, and interested, Sango stood up and began to whap Miroku on the head, repeatedly.
"Ah! What are you doing to Kawaii Miroku?"
"Demon DEMON!"
"I'm just trying to wake him up."
"..oh.." Jii-chan put down the arm that was about to throw a seal.
Kirara began to paw at Shippo, trying to wake him up.
Kagome sniffed in the direction of Miroku, as if picking something up for the first time. "Um… why does he smell… burnt?"
Souta leapt up and went over to his sister, eager to tell the story. "Yesterday, me and Miroku-san went to a demon warding and--"
He was interrupted from a particularly fierce glare from Inuyasha. "He took you out to ward off a demon?"
"Well, actually.. Sango-san insisted I go."
Sango stopped whapping Miroku, in favor of laughing nervously and forming a large sweat drop.
"Um.. Why did you do that , Sango-chan?" Kagome wasn't quite as pissed as Inuyasha, but she wasn't exactly ecstatic either.
"I uh.. Erm.."
"Anyway! We we're going to ward a demon, and we walked for five hours! But Miroku-san carried me almost the whole way. When we got there, he started putting the monk-thingy up, and then there was this loud sizzling sound, it kind of sounded like when Mom fries bacon. And then he acted all nervous with the Ojii-sama and then we told Sango and he kept whining all night, so we didn't get any sleep, and then he started getting delusional and calling me a fashion demon of the future, and tried to save Sandwichville and called Kirara Sango-san's lover, then Sango knocked him out with Shippo." Souta was so good at explaining things thoroughly.
Inuyasha , Kagome and Jii-chan each looked at each other strangely (Mrs.Higurashi was looking at the oh-so-cute- floor).
"What!?"
Sango gave Miroku one last whap and went over to the others. "Miroku was asked to do a demon warding yesterday. I was afraid there might be a princess or something there, so I sent Souta to watch over him. Miroku was so stupid that he actually used an ofuda that kills demons, momentarily forgetting of course, that he too is a demon. He came back, in pain, as he pointed out many, many times. He whined all night, resulting in us not getting any sleep, causing us to be a little on edge. Then he started getting delusional, and said some things that I'm sure he'll regret later. When he said something so stupid I'm not even going to repeat, I finally put him out of his misery by knocking him out. With Shippo.
For a minute, no one said anything.
"Damn, he's even stupider than I thought."
"…yeah…" Kagome had to agree with Inuyasha.
"Even I know better than that." admitted Jii-chan.
"This floor is SOOOO CUTE!"
~*~
It was decided upon, after the failure to wake Shippo and Miroku, that they would go see the house in the morning. Mrs.Higurashi and Jii-chan were given futons, much to Jii-chan's happiness. How splendid, another chance to be a part of history. Kaede's hut was very crowded that night.
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Hey! Fanfiction is working properly again! And farther more, I'm finally home! I just got home today! I'm so glad to be back...oh wondrous internet... Anyway, I've still got a lot going on right now, so the next chapter should be out by the 23...ish. Sorry for the wait.I'm almost at 1,000 review you guys! I really can't believe it! Thank you all soo very ,very very ,very very ,very very ,very very ,very very ,very very much!
Last time I checked, I only had thirteen more to go! I'm so excited!
Thank you all for all your reviews, hopefully the next chapter will be out soon enough.
Please review! Hopefully I'll hit the 1,000 mark this time!
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