Disclaimer—see Chapter One
A/N: Special thanks to Mari for the idea of this first scene. Thank you, Mari! I hope you like what I did with it!! Thank you everyone for your support and encouragement throughout this story!! There will be one final chapter after this one! As always, please review and let me know what you think—good or bad!! Thank you!!
While All Was Still—Chapter Thirteen
Lightening streaked across the horizon in threatening fingers of light and sound. Rain fell heavy from thick clouds that blocked all moonlight and swept across the ship, drenching the deck before rolling off into the churning gray waters of the angry ocean, and thunder crashed repeatedly, breaking through the darkness with a loud and bitter voice. None of it compared to the hammering of Shalimar's heart as she huddled under her covers in her tiny ship's bed. She was filled with a sense of dread, and she tossed restlessly, nervously. She was cold she decided, burrowing deeper under the blankets, shivering until suddenly a flash of heat hit her, and she felt weighed down, suffocated. Sweat trickled down her forehead and she threw the covers off, panting with exertion. Lightening flashed against the window in eerie patterns, and she squeezed her eyes shut, wanting to block it out, wanting the whole of the night to go away. Had it only been that same morning that they left the ship, bidding time by until they could be together again? Now she would do anything to hold back time; to take back what was lost to the day. It was with numbness she had supported Brennan and Laura in their shared grief. It was with numbness she had managed to get them to let go of the tiny body. It was with numbness she had managed to get Brennan and herself back to the ship just as the last warning whistle blew. And it was with numbness that she now lay both hot and cold in her unfeeling bed; waiting.
Brennan blew out a heavy sigh between clenched teeth, glancing at his watch. His knee bounced impatiently until he remembered with a small smile how Shalimar always stilled him with a small hand on his knee. Small hands. Liza's hands had been so small, and then so blue and cold in the end; he chocked back a sob even as he squeezed his eyes shut, denying emotion. He sighed again, fingers rapping on the table in front of him. He had only stopped in to explain Laura and David's absence; it should have only taken a few minutes. He glanced at his watch again. He had told Shalimar he would be back by now. What was taking the Captain and ship's Officer so long? His knee resumed its jittering bounce as he sat; waiting.
Restless energy finally drove her from her bed, and she paced the tiny room, unnerved. The large hands of the clock loudly ticked each minute by, slowing driving her mad. Sea spray sloshed mightily against the tiny portal, and she stared across the room to the window, eyes wild at the weather holding her prisoner. The ship creaked and swayed as thunder rumbled in overlapping waves until resounding in a powerful crash. Shalimar whimpered, shoving her fist into her mouth to silence the desire to scream; waiting.
Brennan shoved his chair back, pulling his tired body to a standing position, hands balled into tight fists. Muscles corded tensed and strained as he hunched over the table, resting on bound fists, feeling the energy rippling just beneath the surface, pulsing in syncopation with the storm outside. He strained his ears, listening for sounds of footsteps, anything to signal the crewman's return; nothing. He groaned and shoved away from the table; he hated waiting.
Her eyes darted around the room in desperation until finally landing on the adjoining door. Brennan. Instinct drove her forward, and she grasped the door handle. For a moment it stuck, and she panicked, wrenching hard until the hinges popped with a loud groan. Satisfied, she walked through and found the source of her hunt. Pulling back thick covers, she slid in with a relieved sigh as his familiar scent encased her senses. She wrapped her arms around the downy pillow, closed her eyes, and breathed.
Tired feet shuffled slowly in and then stopped in surprise. A soft chuckle escaped his lips at the sight of Shalimar curled into a tight ball in the middle of his bed, sound asleep. He kicked off his shoes and slipped out of his clothes, the bed dipping slightly when he sat down on it. The whispered movement stirred Shalimar awake even as she sensed him settling on his back beside her, letting his breath out slowly. She felt his hand curve over her hip and squeeze slightly.
"Shalimar?"
The sound of his tender voice brought a rush of feelings and a flood of tears. She dug her fingers into the pillow, trying to stifle her sobs. Brennan turned to her. Curving his body around hers, he pulled her into him, holding her firmly. He stroked her long hair back and kissed the curve of her neck. Her body was like ice, so he pulled her closer, sharing his warmth.
"Try to sleep," he whispered, "You're exhausted."
She took a long shuddering breath and closed her eyes. Her head rested back against his chest, and the steady beat of his heart soothed her. She remained like that for a long time, but for all her exhaustion, sleep would not come. She drew away and lay on her back, staring up at the ceiling. The storm flickered in the shadows of the room, slowly losing its intensity to the dark of the night.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Brennan's eyes watched her.
"There's nothing to say."
He traced the side of her face. "Yeah, there is."
She swallowed heavily, fighting emotions she couldn't even fully identify. "I can't put it into words."
He curled a strand of her pale hair around his finger and tugged gently. "Even though we didn't know her very well, she affected us both."
She sniffed. "She was just a baby, and we couldn't even help her."
"We tried, Shal, we tried," his voice cracked. "She got inside our hearts, and we'll remember her."
"Yeah," she nodded, thinking, curling her fingers into his. He startled when she gave a bleak laugh. "At least David got what he deserved."
"Yeah," he traced her face with one finger again. "And I think Laura has definitely been affected by this, hopefully for the good." He leaned over and kissed her shoulder. "Her staying behind to see to the memorial service speaks volumes."
"And I hated her." She shuddered.
Brennan had to smile, "With good reason, Shal, I didn't like her either. She surprised us both. And because of our help and one special little girl, maybe we've made a difference in her life." He kissed her forehead, her eyes, her mouth. "Just as you've made a difference in my life," he murmured huskily against her lips. "I need you, Shal, now, always."
Her tense shoulders relaxed and she turned towards him, touching his hair, drinking in his comfort. Stroking her cheek with his thumb, he kissed her mouth. Her lips softened beneath his, and she clutched his shoulders in desperation. When he raised his mouth from hers, she rested her cheek against his chest. He felt her body finally relax completely into his.
"I love you," she whispered, "I love you so much."
Rolling her beneath him, he kissed her gently at first, then more thoroughly. She felt a quickening inside her; a soft, warm curling in her stomach, as the uneasiness haunting her all week finally dissipated. Her arms rose up and stole around his neck, pulling his head down and kissing him, loving his response, loving the way she felt when he took over.
"I don't think I'll ever get enough of you, Shalimar Fox, not as long as I live," he rasped.
"Nor I of you."
He cupped her face, drawing her closer yet and filling his lungs with the scent of her, before bending down and kissing her. She gasped softly, digging her fingers into his hair, slanting her mouth over his in return, body trembling in response to the touch of his hand, the gentle huskiness of his voice, the sense of his growing desire, and of her own. She could hardly draw breath at his closeness. The feelings he aroused in her melted away her inside, making her forget everything but the feel of his hands. He kissed her again, his lips parting, releasing all the passion that had been pent up in him. She tasted like heaven, and he drank of her until his own desire was nearly too heavy to bear.
Like a flood, his passion poured over her and carried her with its hot, rushing tide. She forgot the events of the day. She forgot her grief. All her senses focused on Brennan, the sound of his breathing, the feel of his racing heart beating beneath her palms, the strength of his arms around her. Drowning in sensation, Shalimar forgot it all and clung to Brennan.
Shaken, he drew back and looked at her, his hand cupping the back of her head. "Oh Shal," he said, trying to get his breath, "I thought I knew what love was, I thought I knew everything about it." He touched her features, loving them, tracing them with his fingers, trying to regain control of his raging emotions. "But you fill a space in my heart that I didn't even know was empty."
He touched her face tenderly again, loving the feel of her skin and way her eyes softened as she leaned up and kissed him, carrying him away with her.
Dark clouds fought a losing battle against the soft rays of moonlight, and with a few last rumbles, the storm blew itself out, scattering on the wind. The seas quieted, and the stillness brought Brennan suddenly awake. He groaned and scrubbed his hands against his tired face as he glanced at the portal. Day was soon to break and for now, moonlight streaked through the window in calming tones. Intrigued, Brennan had the urge to fill his senses with the goodness of the morning. He gently laid a hand on Shalimar's shoulder. Her eyes fluttered awake in confusion.
"Brennan?" she yawned in question.
"I want to show you something," he tugged persistently on her shoulder as she tried wiggling back down under the covers. "Come on, Shal," he pleaded. "Get up."
She peered one eye open at him. "Now? In the middle of the night?" It was cold and dark. She gasped as he scooped her up and set her on her feet.
Pulling on his pants, he entreated, "Come on, Shal, trust me." He pulled the quilt from the bed and swung it around her, then found her shoes and held them out to her. She didn't take them, but squinted up at him.
"Please?"
She took the shoes.
He grasped her firmly by the hand and headed out of the room and up towards the upper deck.
"Where are we going?" She yawned again.
"You'll see when we get there." He kept walking, pulling her along with him until they reached the top deck.
She looked around in confusion. There was nothing but darkness and fading stars. Brennan watched as she huddled into the quilt, "There's nothing here." She sat down, exhausted and shivering from the chilly night air.
Brennan sat down behind her. He put his strong legs on either side of her and pulled her back against him. "Just wait."
She leaned back into his embrace as he put his arms around her. "For what?"
"For morning."
"I could have waited for that back in the cabin," she sleepily complained.
He laughed against her hair. Lifting it, he kissed the nape of her neck. 'You'll see." He nuzzled the soft skin beneath her ear. She shivered softly, and he tucked her more closely against him.
They were silent for long moments. The warmth of his body was coming through to Shalimar. She felt the weight of his arm across her and the solidness of him bracing her back. She looked at the stars, tiny jewels in the black night. It was quiet and calm. Waves lapped softly against the hull and the air smelled thick and salty. Then the darkness lightened.
It began slowly, hardly noticeable. The stars grew smaller and smaller and the night softened. Before them was light, pale yellow and growing brilliant, gold-streaked with red and orange. Morning light spilled slowly over the horizon, across the water to the ship, and up its sides. It was beautiful. She felt Brennan's strong hands on her shoulders and his lips against her hair.
"That," he whispered, breath warm against her skin, "That is what I wanted us to see--to remember."
She reached up and clasped his hand in hers, twining their fingers together. Sound soon broke out around them as day bustled forward. Crewman skittered along the deck, unfolding chairs and sweeping away storm debris. A stereo was cranked and music danced brightly along the breeze. Footsteps echoed around them, and laughter split the air as children ran scampering by. And still together they sat, as the sun warmed the air and turned the sea into a sparkle of blue and green; contentedly watching; waiting.
