I really shouldn't be writing this I am way too old and the wrong sex to like this show. However I have written this so if you are so inclined to read the ramblings of my warped mind go ahead.
I don't own Totally Spies If I did the girls would be on all fours more often.
Sheitmipants Capital City of Cespittia, Africa 4:06 AM.
The Cespittian capital city slumbered under a dark starry sky as it endured yet another of its periodic blackouts. Only the Presidential Palace and a few other buildings equipped with generators showed any source of light. Rivers of raw sewage ran through the potholed streets that were flanked on each side be decaying colonial era buildings all shuttered to prevent looting of what little of value they still had.
The late night clam was broken by the stattaco sound of light machinegun fire in the vicinity of the presidential palace. The palace guards returned fire from their heavily fortified positions at the lightly armed insurgents.
Behind the front lines several beat up pickup trucks some with mounted heavy machine guns and others with soldiers armed with rocket propelled grenades or mortars skidded to a stop in the wet streets. The soldiers dismounted from the trucks and took up positions. The soldiers with the mortars began to pound the positions of the palace guards slamming shells over the high walls of the palace compound. The soldiers with the RPGs moved up and fired their weapons into the fortifications.
The concrete barricades crumbled forcing the besieged guards back towards the palace building. As the guards fell back the attacking soldiers moved forward as the heavy truck mounted machineguns provided cover fire.
Inside the palace the Cespittian president was woken by one of his senior aides and informed of the coup attempt. The president lived amongst the luxury that he denied his people. He was attired in silk pajamas roused out of a bed covered with satin sheets and dressed himself in a western style business suit that cost several thousand dollars.
As the president emerged from behind a dressing screen one of the palace guards entered the presidential bedroom. "Your excellency the rebels are on the palace grounds. We are keeping them out of the building but we must evacuate you." The light black skinned Israeli trained soldier urged his calmness betraying how serious the situation really had become.
The three men left the presidential bedroom and walked down an ornate hallway festooned with crystal chandeliers and expensive gifts to the country from foreign dignitaries. Other soldiers raced to and fro to buttress the waning defenses or carry the injured to the relative safety of the palace interior. The stattaco sound of machine gun fire was more pronounced in the cavernous hallway occasional blasts of RPGs punctuated the sound of battle.
The soldier escorting the president continued to brief the president on the coup. "We have lost the main radio and television stations and there is fighting going on at the airbase. Loyalist troops are holding there we have called for a helicopter to evacuate you to safety."
The trio of men hurried to the roof of the palace to await the helicopter. The wind picked up considerably because of several fires that had been set nearby partly to obscure rebel movement partly to encourage looting among the population. As the helicopter neared the palace roof it was hit by a RPG and damaged. Another RPG destroyed the helicopter causing it to crash to the palace courtyard below. Bursts of machinegun fire indicated that if anyone had survived they were not alive now.
Disheartened the president and his entourage retreated down to the palace's third floor. They ducked into the presidential office hoping to call for reinforcements. The president picked up the phone but the line was dead an explosion at the ornate doors to the office indicated that very soon he would be too.
Several rebel soldiers burst in aiming their rifles at the three men. From behind the rebel soldiers a fat dark skinned general waddled haughtily into the office looking around as if he owned the place, which by now he probably did.
"General Krull, what is the meaning of this?" The president asked.
"This is a coup your Excellency. You've been, overthrown." The corpulent general turned to his soldiers, "Take them away."
As the captives were taken away General Krull walked behind the president's desk and sat down in the executive swivel chair. He put his boots up on the desk taking a fat Cuban cigar from the cigar box and lit it inhaling the aromatic flavor of some of the world's finest tobacco.
"Don't you know smoking is bad for you?" A displeased voice spoke up.
General Krull regarded the hooded figure that stood before him. He put his feet back on the floor and stood from the chair mashing the cigar out on the presidential desk's finely polished surface. "What is wrong with celebrating Doctor? We are masters of this country now."
"I don't care about who runs this wreck of a country!" The hooded figure shouted, "All I care about is seeing that my project is finished and I get my revenge on those who rejected me." The hooded figure turned and stormed out of the office.
General Krull dug another cigar out of the cigar box and lit it. The Doctor he figured really needed to relax but he paid well. Now Krull would need to deliver on his word better than his predecessor did on his. "Colonel," he barked, "I want people of the Yusuka tribe rounded up and placed into labor on the Doctor's project. This order is immediate upon securing the country. Understand."
"Yes Sir." The dark skinned colonel saluted his superior officer and marched out the door.
Beverly Hills High School, 1:40 PM.
"Can anyone tell me how the President is chosen?" Emery R. Lee a tough looking teacher with a military style haircut that was slightly graying asked his government class.
"By the Supreme Court?" A pretty but vacant blonde girl answered the question with a question probably because she really had no idea how a president was elected nor what a president really was.
The teacher shook his head and stifled the desire to say that the girl was lucky her father was rich otherwise she would end up making her living on her back. "No, despite what some people THINK, and I use that term lightly, it is not the Supreme Court nor is it a direct vote of the people but the Electoral College that selects who will be president.
"It's the white man that done select da president." A black male student who had already received a full ride athletic scholarship, which was lucky because he would never make it on academic talent, spoke up.
"Yeah selected not elected," shouted another student oblivious to reality.
The teacher ignored the pity slogans chanted by the brainless. "The Electoral College is made up of… Anyone… 538 members equal to the number of representatives and senators that make up the House and Senate. Each state and the District of Columbia is assigned a number of electors equal to its congressional representation. Thus when we have a presidential 'election' we are actually having 51 presidential elections."
The teacher continued to write and drone on about the intricacies of electing a president and the students in the classroom continued to pretend they cared until the bell rang and the class bolted. "Wait you forgot your home…" The last student ran out of the classroom as quickly as he could. "Aw who cares? I should have never left the Corps."
Outside the classroom where a former Marine was reduced to tears Sam, Clover and Alex meet up to grouse about about how boring government class is. "Gah if I ever have to listen to another discussion about elections again I will kill someone." Clover cried out.
"You shouldn't feel that way Clover. Voting is an important civil right that a lot of people had to fight for." Alex said as the trio of high school girls and sometimes spies walked to their next class.
"Whatever, the only voting I am interested in is which hot guy I am going to vote for, for taking me to the upcoming dance." Clover dismissed any notion of meaningful elections with a wave of her hand.
"Oh yeah, you are definitely proof that we get the government we deserve Clover." Sam said just as a trap door opened beneath them dropping them all down a tunnel screaming.
Sam was the first to land on the cushion emerging from the tunnel on all fours. Alex landed behind her giving them the uncomfortable look of two dogs mating. Clover followed moments later bumping into both Sam and Alex breaking up their compromising position by creating a three girl heap. "What did I do to deserve this?" Clover asked no one in particular.
"I'm glad you could join us girls." Jerry turned around in his swivel chair as the girls finished falling.
"Like we had any choice." Clover said sarcastically.
"What's the emergency Jerry?" Sam asked knowing they weren't going to be back for their next period class anytime soon.
"The African country of Cespittia's civilian president has been overthrown by the head of the military a chap by the name of General Krull." A picture of the general flashed on the screen of the general.
"He's no looker." Alex said Jerry merely arched an eyebrow.
"The country is split between two tribes; the Imgonaget tribe from the south, which make up the majority of the country's population, and the Yusuka tribe to the north that until recently had political and economic power."
"Oh Gawd not another civics lesson." Clover wailed.
"Umm Hmmm," Jerry coughed, "As I was saying General Krull hails from the Imgonaget tribe, however, he is far too cautious to have done this on his own. He appears to have a financial backer in a shadowy figure known as 'The Doctor'." The screen flashed a fuzzy out of focus picture of a hooded figure. "Nothing is known about The Doctor except that he backed the former president until he switched to General Krull."
"Now it is time for your gadgets." Jerry stood in front of a table of various WHOOP gadgets. "You will be undercover posing a journalists for the magazine Teen Politics."
"No one is going to believe that." Clover said dismissively.
"First up laser camera useful for when you have to take a picture or destroy something or both. Next jet powered backpack for speedy get to and aways. X-ray sunglasses for when you absolutely positively have to look through something."
Sam put the glasses on and looked at Jerry seeing him in only his heart print boxers. "Oh Jerry nice skivvies."
Jerry confiscated the x-ray sunglasses. "If I may continue, just sticky enough gloves for getting out of sticky situations, pigment concealer for when you have to look like someone else and all purpose industrial sized antiperspirant/deodorant."
Sam and Clover both looked at Alex. "What? I showered after practice."
Jerry spoke again, " You are going to want that because Cespittia has been rated worst country in the world by the CIA Fact Book, the AAA and the WHOOPs vacation planner. Have fun." With that a trap door opened up underneath the girls for the second time that day and they fell with a scream.
Well that is the start there is more to come though I don't know when I will complete it. I have a bad habit of starting things I don't finish. So if you like it or if you don't there is a review feature on this site so drop one off.
