The rain pitter-pattered off of the thrill-seeking criminals of Keyston
City, known as the Rogues. Above the heads of Len Snart (Captain Cold),
Evan McCulloch (the Mirror Master), Mark Marsden (the Weather Wizard), and
Dr. Michael Amar (Murmur) lay the neon lights of the Rollins Theater. It
advertised two feature films. In red lights shine the words "Iris Allen's
The Life Story of the Flash: The Musical!" In smaller, blue letters was
the title "Generic Masked Serial Killer 8.5: Blades, Blood, and Blondes."
The puzzled supervillains looked at each other, dumbfounded. "Well," muttered Captain Cold. "Maybe outta respect for the speedster..." He was cut off by Murmur.
"Lk!" he futily yelled. He pointed at the movie poster for Generic Masked Serial Killer 8.5. A "fully-grown" blonde girl sported a bikini. Her mouth was gaped open, screaming. The rating box was under her picture. It stuck out: "Rated R for gore, violence, and brief nudity." "N—n—nudity?!" The Rogues dashed into the theater. As the teenage vendor held out her hand for the thirty-four dollars worth of tickets, Marsden, Len, and Amar held their respective weapons to her head. They received their tickets, and walked into the lobby.
The clerk at the concession stand watched as the group of men walked towards him. "Bah," he spoke as he closed the message board from the company computer that he'd hacked inj. "Going to one of those new...popular movies with musicians! Simple-minded bafoons." He fixed his glasses as the Rogues arrived. When McCulloch caught sight of the geek, he sighed. "Oh crap," he muttered to Len. "One o'dem li'l geeks that th'nk they can go 'round telling you what's good 'n not..." Weather Wizard grinned. He slowly walked over to the counter. "One pack of Gummi Worms. Large Coke. Extra large popcorn." He looked at his wrist, as if he had a watch. "Dammit! I already missed the first five minutes."
"Of what?" asked McCulloch, just as Snart elbowed him in the stomach to shut him up.
"For the movie! You know! The sneak preview of "Dead Ted 2!" The clerk's eyes lit up at the mention of his idol's latest movie.
"Ex—ex—'scuse me!" He ran off down the hall. Marsden turned towards his fellow criminals.
"Jackpot!" Snart pulled out the cold guns from their holsters. He shot the glass of the concession stand, then kicked in the iced glass. Weather Wizard heated up some popcorn butter with artificial, natural, sunlit, wand-generated warmth. McCulloch stashed nearly the entire stock of Skittles into a mirror. "Marsden!" yelled Len. "Loot the register!."
"Oka—Ooh! Buncha Crunch!" He tossed his hands into a crate of blue boxes of chocolate covered candies. He was interrupted by Murmur who tried to tell them that the movie was about to start. After nearly playing a game of Charades, the Rogues looked at the clock on the wall, and realized for themselves that it was starting. They walked into the near-empty theater. The only people there were a few teenage couples. "Look at 'em. Idiots," muttered Evan. The lights dimmed. After an hour of random screams, yells, splats, thuds, and "The killer is—AHH!"s, the Rogues were bored out of their minds. "Where's the fucking nakedness?!" whispered Captain Cold to the Weather Wizard.
"Shh...I think it's coming up right now." On the screen, a guy walked around his room. He started...undressing. The Rogues covered their eyes from the wrong kind of nakedness as the killer magically appeared behind the man, and knifed his back as ketchup spilled onto the floor. "Christ on a cracker!" bellowed Marsden. "I want fucking NUDITY! None of this gay porno shit!" He pulled his wand out from his sock. His eyes started to glow and his arms shivered as he aimed the wand at the screen. All at once, wind howled, and the theater was in chaos. Chairs were unbolted and stair lights were shattered. Finally, the glass holding the projector shattered and the camera flew forward and tore a huge diagnol rip in the screen. Marsden continued to use his weather powers (in this case, wind) to smash the projector against the wall. "Bastards," he murmured.
He threw the wand back in his sock and stormed out of the emergency exit. The other Rogues followed. The four supervillains stood a curb, as the rain again started to pitter-patter off of their surprisingly normal and already soaked attire. "Nice fuckin' job. Wot th' fuck are we 'posed t' do now?" asked the Mirror Master in his annoying, Scottish accent. Snart bent over and picked up a purple matchbox.
"Look," he said as he read it. "For a good time, come to Kitty's Exotic Bar." His eyes lit up as he read the next line. "Drink wine, and get fine...kitty." He stashed the matchbox in his pocket and walked down the street with the other Rogues.
The puzzled supervillains looked at each other, dumbfounded. "Well," muttered Captain Cold. "Maybe outta respect for the speedster..." He was cut off by Murmur.
"Lk!" he futily yelled. He pointed at the movie poster for Generic Masked Serial Killer 8.5. A "fully-grown" blonde girl sported a bikini. Her mouth was gaped open, screaming. The rating box was under her picture. It stuck out: "Rated R for gore, violence, and brief nudity." "N—n—nudity?!" The Rogues dashed into the theater. As the teenage vendor held out her hand for the thirty-four dollars worth of tickets, Marsden, Len, and Amar held their respective weapons to her head. They received their tickets, and walked into the lobby.
The clerk at the concession stand watched as the group of men walked towards him. "Bah," he spoke as he closed the message board from the company computer that he'd hacked inj. "Going to one of those new...popular movies with musicians! Simple-minded bafoons." He fixed his glasses as the Rogues arrived. When McCulloch caught sight of the geek, he sighed. "Oh crap," he muttered to Len. "One o'dem li'l geeks that th'nk they can go 'round telling you what's good 'n not..." Weather Wizard grinned. He slowly walked over to the counter. "One pack of Gummi Worms. Large Coke. Extra large popcorn." He looked at his wrist, as if he had a watch. "Dammit! I already missed the first five minutes."
"Of what?" asked McCulloch, just as Snart elbowed him in the stomach to shut him up.
"For the movie! You know! The sneak preview of "Dead Ted 2!" The clerk's eyes lit up at the mention of his idol's latest movie.
"Ex—ex—'scuse me!" He ran off down the hall. Marsden turned towards his fellow criminals.
"Jackpot!" Snart pulled out the cold guns from their holsters. He shot the glass of the concession stand, then kicked in the iced glass. Weather Wizard heated up some popcorn butter with artificial, natural, sunlit, wand-generated warmth. McCulloch stashed nearly the entire stock of Skittles into a mirror. "Marsden!" yelled Len. "Loot the register!."
"Oka—Ooh! Buncha Crunch!" He tossed his hands into a crate of blue boxes of chocolate covered candies. He was interrupted by Murmur who tried to tell them that the movie was about to start. After nearly playing a game of Charades, the Rogues looked at the clock on the wall, and realized for themselves that it was starting. They walked into the near-empty theater. The only people there were a few teenage couples. "Look at 'em. Idiots," muttered Evan. The lights dimmed. After an hour of random screams, yells, splats, thuds, and "The killer is—AHH!"s, the Rogues were bored out of their minds. "Where's the fucking nakedness?!" whispered Captain Cold to the Weather Wizard.
"Shh...I think it's coming up right now." On the screen, a guy walked around his room. He started...undressing. The Rogues covered their eyes from the wrong kind of nakedness as the killer magically appeared behind the man, and knifed his back as ketchup spilled onto the floor. "Christ on a cracker!" bellowed Marsden. "I want fucking NUDITY! None of this gay porno shit!" He pulled his wand out from his sock. His eyes started to glow and his arms shivered as he aimed the wand at the screen. All at once, wind howled, and the theater was in chaos. Chairs were unbolted and stair lights were shattered. Finally, the glass holding the projector shattered and the camera flew forward and tore a huge diagnol rip in the screen. Marsden continued to use his weather powers (in this case, wind) to smash the projector against the wall. "Bastards," he murmured.
He threw the wand back in his sock and stormed out of the emergency exit. The other Rogues followed. The four supervillains stood a curb, as the rain again started to pitter-patter off of their surprisingly normal and already soaked attire. "Nice fuckin' job. Wot th' fuck are we 'posed t' do now?" asked the Mirror Master in his annoying, Scottish accent. Snart bent over and picked up a purple matchbox.
"Look," he said as he read it. "For a good time, come to Kitty's Exotic Bar." His eyes lit up as he read the next line. "Drink wine, and get fine...kitty." He stashed the matchbox in his pocket and walked down the street with the other Rogues.
