Greetings my lovelies. Sparkie here, and this is my two part Valentine's
Day theme fic.
You see, 25th of January is what we here in Wales call 'Diwrnod Santes Dwynwen' which is a cheap Welshy knock off of Valentine's Day that very few people have heard of, let alone celebrate. Except in Tesco's supermarket. They have the biggest pink balloons in the history of big pink balloons hanging from the ceiling. I'm not kidding, they're huge! I swear I've seen one chasing Harrison Ford down Main Street. Anywho, I figured what better day to start my lovey dovey story?
The title is a reference to Cilla Black, the greatest TV matchmaker ever. Possibly the only TV matchmaker ever. Anyway, she's a cool lady, she has a cool sofa, and it's a sad shame she quit Blind Date.
Oh, and one other thing. Nothing in this fic makes any sense. That's the way I like it.
Disclaimer: I own a laughing Mr. Happy toy from McDonalds, but nothing in this fic. Bummer.
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"Mesmero?"
No response
"Mesmero?"
SLAP!
"Wake up you ugly bastard!"
The ugly bastard opened his eyes to see a familiar silver haired super villain standing above him. "Sorry about that old chum." Said Magneto smiling pleasantly. "It's this blasted golf club. I keep forgetting it's not made of metal. I mean, I know Wanda hates me, but plastic golf clubs for my birthday- Now that's just plain evil. She gets it from her mother you know."
Mesmero was staring at him vacantly.
"What's the hold up old chaps?" Called Professor Xavier from the green, waving his specially designed golf club (Don't ask) about.
"I'm afraid I gave old Mesmero a bit of a wallop on the coconut." Called back Magneto.
Xavier wheeled over to them. "I say Charles," Said Magneto, "Your wheels are squeaking a bit."
"Yes, I shall have to get Scott to give them a spray of WD40." Replied Xavier.
"Hello?!" Exclaimed Mesemero, "I've got a head injury here!"
"Ah yes," Said Xavier, "Forgive us old bean." He held up three fingers, "How many finger?"
"Er, three." Replied Mesmero.
"Can you say the alphabet backwards?"
"You're checking for concussion Charles, not drunkenness!"
Mesmero did it anyway, with some difficulty, but then, it is harder than it sounds.
"Do you know the name of the president?" Asked Magneto.
"George.W.Bush." Replied Mesmero.
"What about your name and address?"
"I'm Cupid." Said Mesmero, without missing a beat. "Fourteen, Lollipop Lane, LoveLand."
"Ah." Said Magneto, "That's-" He paused and looked at Xavier "Less right."
And with that, Mesmero scampered off, flapping his arms, to make people fall in love.
"Well old chap, that was odd wasn't it?" Asked Xavier.
"Rather!" Agreed Magneto.
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Okay, so that was a little prologue type thing. This is just a two chapter story, the next chapter will be long, and up around Valentine's Day.
In case you were wondering about the way Mags and Xavier were talking- My Dad found these old books from the 60's called Mr Crabtree's guide to fishing for boys. It's all these comic strips about this super posh bloke teaching his son about fishing. I just thought they were so funny, I had to imitate it.
You see, 25th of January is what we here in Wales call 'Diwrnod Santes Dwynwen' which is a cheap Welshy knock off of Valentine's Day that very few people have heard of, let alone celebrate. Except in Tesco's supermarket. They have the biggest pink balloons in the history of big pink balloons hanging from the ceiling. I'm not kidding, they're huge! I swear I've seen one chasing Harrison Ford down Main Street. Anywho, I figured what better day to start my lovey dovey story?
The title is a reference to Cilla Black, the greatest TV matchmaker ever. Possibly the only TV matchmaker ever. Anyway, she's a cool lady, she has a cool sofa, and it's a sad shame she quit Blind Date.
Oh, and one other thing. Nothing in this fic makes any sense. That's the way I like it.
Disclaimer: I own a laughing Mr. Happy toy from McDonalds, but nothing in this fic. Bummer.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
"Mesmero?"
No response
"Mesmero?"
SLAP!
"Wake up you ugly bastard!"
The ugly bastard opened his eyes to see a familiar silver haired super villain standing above him. "Sorry about that old chum." Said Magneto smiling pleasantly. "It's this blasted golf club. I keep forgetting it's not made of metal. I mean, I know Wanda hates me, but plastic golf clubs for my birthday- Now that's just plain evil. She gets it from her mother you know."
Mesmero was staring at him vacantly.
"What's the hold up old chaps?" Called Professor Xavier from the green, waving his specially designed golf club (Don't ask) about.
"I'm afraid I gave old Mesmero a bit of a wallop on the coconut." Called back Magneto.
Xavier wheeled over to them. "I say Charles," Said Magneto, "Your wheels are squeaking a bit."
"Yes, I shall have to get Scott to give them a spray of WD40." Replied Xavier.
"Hello?!" Exclaimed Mesemero, "I've got a head injury here!"
"Ah yes," Said Xavier, "Forgive us old bean." He held up three fingers, "How many finger?"
"Er, three." Replied Mesmero.
"Can you say the alphabet backwards?"
"You're checking for concussion Charles, not drunkenness!"
Mesmero did it anyway, with some difficulty, but then, it is harder than it sounds.
"Do you know the name of the president?" Asked Magneto.
"George.W.Bush." Replied Mesmero.
"What about your name and address?"
"I'm Cupid." Said Mesmero, without missing a beat. "Fourteen, Lollipop Lane, LoveLand."
"Ah." Said Magneto, "That's-" He paused and looked at Xavier "Less right."
And with that, Mesmero scampered off, flapping his arms, to make people fall in love.
"Well old chap, that was odd wasn't it?" Asked Xavier.
"Rather!" Agreed Magneto.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Okay, so that was a little prologue type thing. This is just a two chapter story, the next chapter will be long, and up around Valentine's Day.
In case you were wondering about the way Mags and Xavier were talking- My Dad found these old books from the 60's called Mr Crabtree's guide to fishing for boys. It's all these comic strips about this super posh bloke teaching his son about fishing. I just thought they were so funny, I had to imitate it.
