Greetings! I was hoping to get this done sooner, but what can I say?
Sparkie is neither quick nor painless.
Okay, so this isn't going to be a one shot. I always think my fics are going to be one shots, and I'm always wrong. It'll only be a few chapters though. Honest.
Reviewy type people: The Rogue Witch, Radical-Seto, Piotr's Girl, The Tiny One, Foxy Glove, Dark Jaded Rose and Todd Fan (My fellow Welsh person who was also frightened and confused by the giant balloons in Tescos. Hooray! I is not alone! I wish I'd had the guts to steal one and use it to reenact Indiana Jones. That would have been very fun.)
Chapter 1: Falling in love is very wrong and disturbing.
Location: Bayville. The Park / Date: February 14th / Time: Time you wore a watch.
"Tra la la la, la dee da!" Sang Jean as she skipped merrily along, as she so often did, especially in stories written by Sparkie-thewateringcan. She was taking a cheerful detour through the park on this fine Valentine's day morning, and was so jubilant and joyful in her skipping that she didn't even notice Mesmero flapping about nearby, a mischievous smile on his scary tattooed face.
There were mime artists, jugglers and fire breathers hanging around the park today, hoping for a little spare change. One of the fire breathers was strangely familiar to Jean. Can you guess who it was?
"Pyro!" She exclaimed. "You realize what you're doing qualifies as cheating?!"
"Put a sock in it Sheila, there ain't no rules against using mutant powers to entertain and make money."
"Well," Said Jean, realizing she was defeated, "There should be. And I'll be watching you, mister. You so much as look at these people wrongly and I'll, er, I'll-"
"You'll what?" Smirked the fiery Australian.
"I'll do, er, something. Something I'm not going to tell you in advance because it would eliminate the element of surprise." She replied, feeling confident that that was a threatening enough sounding answer.
"Fair enough." Shrugged Pyro, and went back to blowing fire at some bystanders. Well, not 'at' exactly. He was very careful about that. Just in their general direction. There was no use getting into trouble on his day off.
Mesmero peeked out from behind some shrubbery (I use the word shrubbery way too much. But I've gotten in trouble before for saying bush) with a smirk.
He saw his opportunity. He took aim with his magic (imaginary) bow and arrow. He drew back the (imaginary) arrow. He waited for just the right moment. Then, he fired.
Of course, Mesmero isn't really Cupid. He's just Mesmero. So the bow, the arrow, and the firing were all in his crazy concussed mind. In actual fact, all he did was take control of the minds of Jean Grey and St.John Allerdyce simultaneously.
Pyro blew the fire in a heart shape, which encircled Jean.
"Hmm," He said to himself, "I never noticed before, but she's hot."
He sauntered over to where she had sat down on a bench and was pretending to read a magazine. "G'Day love." He said casually, "Has anyone ever told you that your hair is a very fiery shade of red?"
He didn't need to say anymore because Jean grabbed him and kissed him, without even thinking about it.
*Shudder*
Mesmero smiled to himself and flapped off, singing a happy little song about being cupid.
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In a nearby grocery store, Kitty Pryde was buying ingredients to make her delicious muffins.
"Eggs," She said to herself, "Margerine. Sugar. Bacon. Flour."
She beamed at her own wonderfulness, and headed towards the checkout counter, where a sales assistant was having an argument with a customer.
"It's five packs for the price of four, not four for the price of three!" She was exclaiming.
"But there were only four on the shelf! Mon dieu! Why are you so ignorant?!"
"Excuse me?!"
"Where Gambit comes from, the customer is always right!" Exclaimed Gambit, waving about four packs of playing cards.
"Who the hell is Gambit?!" Demanded the sales assistant, "And do you really need all those packs of cards?"
"Oui! Why would someone pick them up if they didn't need them?! All I'm saying is, if there are only four packs on the shelf, then maybe you should change the special offer to allow for that!"
"Why would anybody need all those packs of cards?!"
"That's hardly the point! Besides, you're the one with the special offer on five packs of cards, you tell Gambit why anyone would need five packs of cards!"
Kitty got the feeling that this wasn't going to be a short argument, and sighed loudly to attract their attention.
"I'm sorry miss." Said the sales assistant, "This won't take a minute."
"Wanna bet!" Exclaimed Gambit.
"Hey, I know you!" Said Kitty, suddenly realizing why he was familiar.
"Congratulations." Replied Gambit, who was far too engrossed in his argument to take much notice.
Meanwhile, Mesmero had flapped into the store, using his powers to make sure nobody paid any attention to him.
He spotted the two mutants, one standing around looking very bored, the other threatening to call a lawyer, and fired another magic (imaginary) arrows.
Gambit turned around to look at Kitty, who smiled shyly.
"Gambit is bored of this argument. What do you say chere, let's get outta here?"
"Like, sure." Grinned Kitty, and they left, hand in hand.
Mesmero giggled cherubically from the corner and flapped off.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Lance Alvers strolled down the street, acting all tough and cool as he does. Or at least thinks he does. He actually comes across as a complete prat. (I don't mince words. Lance sucks)
He passed a music store window and pretended to look at guitars. In fact, he was looking at Xylophones and Glockenspiels, which are essentially the same thing, but I'm sure Lance could tell you the difference. I'm more of a Bongo girl myself.
It was just coincidence that Rogue and Wanda happened to be in the shop next door. They had similar tastes, so they often went shopping together. Everytime they did, Professor Xavier got very excited and gushed that they were bridging the gap and bringing mutants together. Rogue would start explaining that it was just shopping, but he would get teary eyed and zip off, beaming happily and telling everyone that the world would be a better place if they could just get along in peace and harmony like Rogue and Wanda. Then he would go up to his room and spend the night listening to John Lennon records.
"Guitars huh?"
Lance looked over his shoulder and saw Scott standing there.
"What's it to you Summers?" he asked, calling Scott by his last name because apparently it's threatening.
"Nothing. Just making a comment."
Scott didn't know anything about guitars, so 'Guitars huh?' was the most intelligent comment he could come up with.
Lance knew only fractionally more, so he kept his mouth shut. Xylophones and Glockenspiels though? He could talk about them all day.
"Do you mind? You're cramping my style." Said Lance.
"What style?" Snorted Scott, looking him up and down. Then looked at his own ensemble and blushed. "Nevermind."
That was when Rogue and Wanda came out of the shop next door.
"Wanda? Since when do you hang with X-Geeks?" Asked Lance.
"Cram it Avalanche." Said Wanda, rolling her eyes.
Mesmero was flapping about on the other side of the street, eating a strawberry ice cream cone.
"Ah!" He said, "What an opportunity!" Can you see where this is going?
He loaded his (imaginary) bow with two (imaginary) arrows and fired.
Rogue looked at Lance with lust in her eyes.
"Lance," She said, "You rock my world." She dropped her shopping bags and threw herself on him.
"Gee Wanda, I never realised what an attractive lady you are." Said Scott stupidly.
Wanda narrowed her eyes.
"Shut up and kiss me!"
He did.
"Lancey? Sweetheart? Are you okay?" Rogue asked prodding her unconscious new found love. She looked up at Rogue and Scott. "I broke Lance!" She wailed. Then raised her eyebrows. "Er, guys? What are you doing?"
Mesmero giggled.
"Two for two!"
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
A/N: That's it for now. Next chapter we'll find out how these unfortunate pairings get more and more unfortunate, plus some new ones. Review and tell me how disturbed you are.
Okay, so this isn't going to be a one shot. I always think my fics are going to be one shots, and I'm always wrong. It'll only be a few chapters though. Honest.
Reviewy type people: The Rogue Witch, Radical-Seto, Piotr's Girl, The Tiny One, Foxy Glove, Dark Jaded Rose and Todd Fan (My fellow Welsh person who was also frightened and confused by the giant balloons in Tescos. Hooray! I is not alone! I wish I'd had the guts to steal one and use it to reenact Indiana Jones. That would have been very fun.)
Chapter 1: Falling in love is very wrong and disturbing.
Location: Bayville. The Park / Date: February 14th / Time: Time you wore a watch.
"Tra la la la, la dee da!" Sang Jean as she skipped merrily along, as she so often did, especially in stories written by Sparkie-thewateringcan. She was taking a cheerful detour through the park on this fine Valentine's day morning, and was so jubilant and joyful in her skipping that she didn't even notice Mesmero flapping about nearby, a mischievous smile on his scary tattooed face.
There were mime artists, jugglers and fire breathers hanging around the park today, hoping for a little spare change. One of the fire breathers was strangely familiar to Jean. Can you guess who it was?
"Pyro!" She exclaimed. "You realize what you're doing qualifies as cheating?!"
"Put a sock in it Sheila, there ain't no rules against using mutant powers to entertain and make money."
"Well," Said Jean, realizing she was defeated, "There should be. And I'll be watching you, mister. You so much as look at these people wrongly and I'll, er, I'll-"
"You'll what?" Smirked the fiery Australian.
"I'll do, er, something. Something I'm not going to tell you in advance because it would eliminate the element of surprise." She replied, feeling confident that that was a threatening enough sounding answer.
"Fair enough." Shrugged Pyro, and went back to blowing fire at some bystanders. Well, not 'at' exactly. He was very careful about that. Just in their general direction. There was no use getting into trouble on his day off.
Mesmero peeked out from behind some shrubbery (I use the word shrubbery way too much. But I've gotten in trouble before for saying bush) with a smirk.
He saw his opportunity. He took aim with his magic (imaginary) bow and arrow. He drew back the (imaginary) arrow. He waited for just the right moment. Then, he fired.
Of course, Mesmero isn't really Cupid. He's just Mesmero. So the bow, the arrow, and the firing were all in his crazy concussed mind. In actual fact, all he did was take control of the minds of Jean Grey and St.John Allerdyce simultaneously.
Pyro blew the fire in a heart shape, which encircled Jean.
"Hmm," He said to himself, "I never noticed before, but she's hot."
He sauntered over to where she had sat down on a bench and was pretending to read a magazine. "G'Day love." He said casually, "Has anyone ever told you that your hair is a very fiery shade of red?"
He didn't need to say anymore because Jean grabbed him and kissed him, without even thinking about it.
*Shudder*
Mesmero smiled to himself and flapped off, singing a happy little song about being cupid.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
In a nearby grocery store, Kitty Pryde was buying ingredients to make her delicious muffins.
"Eggs," She said to herself, "Margerine. Sugar. Bacon. Flour."
She beamed at her own wonderfulness, and headed towards the checkout counter, where a sales assistant was having an argument with a customer.
"It's five packs for the price of four, not four for the price of three!" She was exclaiming.
"But there were only four on the shelf! Mon dieu! Why are you so ignorant?!"
"Excuse me?!"
"Where Gambit comes from, the customer is always right!" Exclaimed Gambit, waving about four packs of playing cards.
"Who the hell is Gambit?!" Demanded the sales assistant, "And do you really need all those packs of cards?"
"Oui! Why would someone pick them up if they didn't need them?! All I'm saying is, if there are only four packs on the shelf, then maybe you should change the special offer to allow for that!"
"Why would anybody need all those packs of cards?!"
"That's hardly the point! Besides, you're the one with the special offer on five packs of cards, you tell Gambit why anyone would need five packs of cards!"
Kitty got the feeling that this wasn't going to be a short argument, and sighed loudly to attract their attention.
"I'm sorry miss." Said the sales assistant, "This won't take a minute."
"Wanna bet!" Exclaimed Gambit.
"Hey, I know you!" Said Kitty, suddenly realizing why he was familiar.
"Congratulations." Replied Gambit, who was far too engrossed in his argument to take much notice.
Meanwhile, Mesmero had flapped into the store, using his powers to make sure nobody paid any attention to him.
He spotted the two mutants, one standing around looking very bored, the other threatening to call a lawyer, and fired another magic (imaginary) arrows.
Gambit turned around to look at Kitty, who smiled shyly.
"Gambit is bored of this argument. What do you say chere, let's get outta here?"
"Like, sure." Grinned Kitty, and they left, hand in hand.
Mesmero giggled cherubically from the corner and flapped off.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Lance Alvers strolled down the street, acting all tough and cool as he does. Or at least thinks he does. He actually comes across as a complete prat. (I don't mince words. Lance sucks)
He passed a music store window and pretended to look at guitars. In fact, he was looking at Xylophones and Glockenspiels, which are essentially the same thing, but I'm sure Lance could tell you the difference. I'm more of a Bongo girl myself.
It was just coincidence that Rogue and Wanda happened to be in the shop next door. They had similar tastes, so they often went shopping together. Everytime they did, Professor Xavier got very excited and gushed that they were bridging the gap and bringing mutants together. Rogue would start explaining that it was just shopping, but he would get teary eyed and zip off, beaming happily and telling everyone that the world would be a better place if they could just get along in peace and harmony like Rogue and Wanda. Then he would go up to his room and spend the night listening to John Lennon records.
"Guitars huh?"
Lance looked over his shoulder and saw Scott standing there.
"What's it to you Summers?" he asked, calling Scott by his last name because apparently it's threatening.
"Nothing. Just making a comment."
Scott didn't know anything about guitars, so 'Guitars huh?' was the most intelligent comment he could come up with.
Lance knew only fractionally more, so he kept his mouth shut. Xylophones and Glockenspiels though? He could talk about them all day.
"Do you mind? You're cramping my style." Said Lance.
"What style?" Snorted Scott, looking him up and down. Then looked at his own ensemble and blushed. "Nevermind."
That was when Rogue and Wanda came out of the shop next door.
"Wanda? Since when do you hang with X-Geeks?" Asked Lance.
"Cram it Avalanche." Said Wanda, rolling her eyes.
Mesmero was flapping about on the other side of the street, eating a strawberry ice cream cone.
"Ah!" He said, "What an opportunity!" Can you see where this is going?
He loaded his (imaginary) bow with two (imaginary) arrows and fired.
Rogue looked at Lance with lust in her eyes.
"Lance," She said, "You rock my world." She dropped her shopping bags and threw herself on him.
"Gee Wanda, I never realised what an attractive lady you are." Said Scott stupidly.
Wanda narrowed her eyes.
"Shut up and kiss me!"
He did.
"Lancey? Sweetheart? Are you okay?" Rogue asked prodding her unconscious new found love. She looked up at Rogue and Scott. "I broke Lance!" She wailed. Then raised her eyebrows. "Er, guys? What are you doing?"
Mesmero giggled.
"Two for two!"
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
A/N: That's it for now. Next chapter we'll find out how these unfortunate pairings get more and more unfortunate, plus some new ones. Review and tell me how disturbed you are.
