Greetings! This chapter owes its very existence to my boyfriend who let me
use his computer after mine did that snap-crackle-pop thing that makes me
run away and hide till my mum can get it fixed. Thanks Dylan!
Thanks to reviewers. Too many to list this time (WooHoo! I'm Popular!) But you are all little stars.
Tiny One- If Kambit = a type of cat food, then Sconda = a disease which thrives in unsanitary conditions.
Chapter 3: Being heartbroken is very wrong and disturbing
"Oh Wanda! You're so much more lovely and beautiful and breathtaking than my last girlfriend Jean. She was pretty in an average sort of way but you-"
"Less talk." Said Wanda, and kissed Scott to thankfully shut him up.
Jean happened to be walking into the room at that moment and was temporarily overcome by her jealousy and need to kill them before she remembered the job at hand. To separate St.John Allerdyce and the flame.
Little did she know that not only would this be a difficult and dangerous job, but also one that would eventually save the day.
Pyro himself was still engrossed in watching the fireplace, almost as mesmerized as the way Pietro gazes at his own reflection.
She snuck up behind him and carefully reached into his pocket for his lighter.
"OUCH!" She screamed, and pulled back her hand, mousetrap attached.
Pyro was temporarily distracted.
"Heh heh." He chuckled, "I live with Gambit, remember love? Gotta take the right precautions."
"Oh." Said Jean, her voice slightly higher pitched than usual, "Yeah."
"Do you guys mind?" Asked Scott from underneath Wanda on the couch. "We're trying to get the love on, and it's not working with you two standing around. And watch where you put that mousetrap."
"Sorry Scott." Said Jean through her teeth. "Hey John! Look! A fiery comet heading straight for earth!" She pointed maniacally out of the window and Pyro dashed over to see. "Now Rogue!" Shouted Jean, and Rogue ran in with a bucket of water to douse the fire in the hearth.
Pyro spun around.
"NO!" He bellowed, reaching for his lighter, but Jean used her irritating power to take it away.
"Nuh-Uh Mister." She said, "No more fire for you. And Rogue and I have disconnected every gas line and destroyed every match and every candle in the mansion. Now you're all mine." She grinned smugly.
"CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNISHEMENT! CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNISHEMENT!" Screamed Pyro, jumping up and down and pointing. Not at anybody in particular, just at the situation.
"No, sweetie, calm down."
"CHILD ABUSE! CHILD ABUSE!" He yelled.
With that, Lance, Gambit and Kitty came in.
"We found him unconscious in a flower bed." Said Kitty, gesturing to Lance.
"Oh Lancey! I was so worried about you!" Exclaimed Rogue, and threw herself on him again.
"Cling film." He observed, "My baby's so smart!"
Pietro wandered in from outside, tears rolling down his face.
"Rahne chased after the ice cream truck." He sniffed. "She loved chasing cars more than me."
"Yeah?" Sniffed Jean, "Well John loves fire more than me!" She sobbed.
"Do you love anything more than me Lancey?" Asked Rogue.
"Er, not that I can think of." He replied.
"Yay." Said Rogue and kissed him.
"No wait." He said, "Glockenspiels. Oh, and Xylophones."
Tears welled up in Rogue's eyes and she began to bawl.
"I don't even know what those are!" She squealed.
Everyone looked down at Scott and Wanda who were both half naked and sprawled on the couch, seemingly unaware of the others existence. Surely the worst match of all wouldn't turn out to be the happiest?
No. Of course not. Because at that moment, Magneto walked in, dragging Mesmero by the collar.
"FATHER!" Shouted Wanda and lunged for him.
Scott sniffed and his eyes went watery too.
"You hate your father more than you love me." He squeaked and broke down.
"What is going on here?!" He exclaimed. "I get home to the base, hoping for a nice quiet night in. But where is Gambit with my pipe and slippers? Where is Pyro with my hot chocolate complete with little floating marshmallows? Colossus was standing there with a plate of cookies and that sad little expression on his face. He had a chefs hat and everything, and an apron." He sniffed, "It was so cute. But you two always have to be off, gallivanting!" He just paints a picture with words doesn't he?
It seemed as though his rant was over, but then he continued.
"And then, I discover this lurking in the bushes," He shook Mesmero, "And everything begins to make sense."
"Oh please let me go." Said Mesmero in a sugary voice, "I must get back to loveland before the day is through."
"You're not cupid you moron!"
"What's all the shouting about?" Asked Xavier, coming in, followed by Bobby, who was looking worryingly pleased with himself.
"I just got my first A" He grinned.
A few people were now sitting on Wanda to stop her from going ballistic. Why hadn't they thought of this sooner?
"Well, it seems, that our friend Mesmero has been playing some very dirty tricks on us all, old bean." Replied Magneto, suddenly, at the sight of the Professor, reverting to scary Upper class 1940's English accents.
"I see." Said Xavier, who clearly didn't.
"Who cares?!" Exclaimed Pyro, "They took away my fire!" He pointed accusingly around the room, so angry and confused he wasn't sure whom to point at.
He grabbed hold of his lighter that Jean held and they struggled over it for a few seconds, like a tug of war.
"But I love you!" Declared Jean.
"And I love you too!" He shouted back, "I just happen to love fire more! Can't you understand that?!"
"No!"
The lighter slipped from both their grasps and flew through the air, and hit Mesmero square on the noggin.
He collapsed on the floor and there was a collective gasp from the room.
"Mesmero?" Asked Magneto, "Can you hear me old chum?"
Mesmero sat up.
"Ouch." He said.
"Do you still think you're cupid?" Asked Xavier.
"Cupid? What? No."
Suddenly the situation dawned on everyone and they all sprang away from their so-called 'loved ones.'
"Yeuch!" Spat Rogue, "All I can taste is Lance."
"Gross gross gross gross gross." Said Amara, running upstairs for a shower. Todd hopped in behind her.
"So long babycakes!" He called after her, "Now, where's original babycakes?" He looked around for Wanda.
"C'mon Toad." She said, taking his arm, "You can take me home. You can't be much more disturbing than the day I've had so far."
"Come along Acolytes." Said Magneto to Pyro and Gambit. "That's quite enough shenanigans for one day."
"Yes your Magnussness." Agreed the acolytes and followed him out of the door.
Pyro picked up his lighter on the way out and winked at Jean, who was suddenly very pale.
"I have to go re-evaluate my life." She said, before walking upstairs, very slowly, in some kind of mind-warped daze.
Kitty sat down next to Rogue and stared at her hands in shame.
"You hate me don't you?" She asked.
"No. Kinda hate myself though."
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
The next morning, laying in her extremely comfortable bed, Storm felt strangely as though she'd done something terrible. There were bottles of various alchoholic substances littered around the room.
"Oh god." She said, "What did I do?"
She tried and tried to remember. And suddenly, she got the feeling she wasn't alone in bed. She went completely rigid with apprehension and looked over to her left.
"Phew."
It was just a black cat.
She must've left the window open.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Wahey! That's it! Story complete. You guys like? Reviews please. Super dooper big thank you Dylan. I love you more than ever.
Thanks to reviewers. Too many to list this time (WooHoo! I'm Popular!) But you are all little stars.
Tiny One- If Kambit = a type of cat food, then Sconda = a disease which thrives in unsanitary conditions.
Chapter 3: Being heartbroken is very wrong and disturbing
"Oh Wanda! You're so much more lovely and beautiful and breathtaking than my last girlfriend Jean. She was pretty in an average sort of way but you-"
"Less talk." Said Wanda, and kissed Scott to thankfully shut him up.
Jean happened to be walking into the room at that moment and was temporarily overcome by her jealousy and need to kill them before she remembered the job at hand. To separate St.John Allerdyce and the flame.
Little did she know that not only would this be a difficult and dangerous job, but also one that would eventually save the day.
Pyro himself was still engrossed in watching the fireplace, almost as mesmerized as the way Pietro gazes at his own reflection.
She snuck up behind him and carefully reached into his pocket for his lighter.
"OUCH!" She screamed, and pulled back her hand, mousetrap attached.
Pyro was temporarily distracted.
"Heh heh." He chuckled, "I live with Gambit, remember love? Gotta take the right precautions."
"Oh." Said Jean, her voice slightly higher pitched than usual, "Yeah."
"Do you guys mind?" Asked Scott from underneath Wanda on the couch. "We're trying to get the love on, and it's not working with you two standing around. And watch where you put that mousetrap."
"Sorry Scott." Said Jean through her teeth. "Hey John! Look! A fiery comet heading straight for earth!" She pointed maniacally out of the window and Pyro dashed over to see. "Now Rogue!" Shouted Jean, and Rogue ran in with a bucket of water to douse the fire in the hearth.
Pyro spun around.
"NO!" He bellowed, reaching for his lighter, but Jean used her irritating power to take it away.
"Nuh-Uh Mister." She said, "No more fire for you. And Rogue and I have disconnected every gas line and destroyed every match and every candle in the mansion. Now you're all mine." She grinned smugly.
"CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNISHEMENT! CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNISHEMENT!" Screamed Pyro, jumping up and down and pointing. Not at anybody in particular, just at the situation.
"No, sweetie, calm down."
"CHILD ABUSE! CHILD ABUSE!" He yelled.
With that, Lance, Gambit and Kitty came in.
"We found him unconscious in a flower bed." Said Kitty, gesturing to Lance.
"Oh Lancey! I was so worried about you!" Exclaimed Rogue, and threw herself on him again.
"Cling film." He observed, "My baby's so smart!"
Pietro wandered in from outside, tears rolling down his face.
"Rahne chased after the ice cream truck." He sniffed. "She loved chasing cars more than me."
"Yeah?" Sniffed Jean, "Well John loves fire more than me!" She sobbed.
"Do you love anything more than me Lancey?" Asked Rogue.
"Er, not that I can think of." He replied.
"Yay." Said Rogue and kissed him.
"No wait." He said, "Glockenspiels. Oh, and Xylophones."
Tears welled up in Rogue's eyes and she began to bawl.
"I don't even know what those are!" She squealed.
Everyone looked down at Scott and Wanda who were both half naked and sprawled on the couch, seemingly unaware of the others existence. Surely the worst match of all wouldn't turn out to be the happiest?
No. Of course not. Because at that moment, Magneto walked in, dragging Mesmero by the collar.
"FATHER!" Shouted Wanda and lunged for him.
Scott sniffed and his eyes went watery too.
"You hate your father more than you love me." He squeaked and broke down.
"What is going on here?!" He exclaimed. "I get home to the base, hoping for a nice quiet night in. But where is Gambit with my pipe and slippers? Where is Pyro with my hot chocolate complete with little floating marshmallows? Colossus was standing there with a plate of cookies and that sad little expression on his face. He had a chefs hat and everything, and an apron." He sniffed, "It was so cute. But you two always have to be off, gallivanting!" He just paints a picture with words doesn't he?
It seemed as though his rant was over, but then he continued.
"And then, I discover this lurking in the bushes," He shook Mesmero, "And everything begins to make sense."
"Oh please let me go." Said Mesmero in a sugary voice, "I must get back to loveland before the day is through."
"You're not cupid you moron!"
"What's all the shouting about?" Asked Xavier, coming in, followed by Bobby, who was looking worryingly pleased with himself.
"I just got my first A" He grinned.
A few people were now sitting on Wanda to stop her from going ballistic. Why hadn't they thought of this sooner?
"Well, it seems, that our friend Mesmero has been playing some very dirty tricks on us all, old bean." Replied Magneto, suddenly, at the sight of the Professor, reverting to scary Upper class 1940's English accents.
"I see." Said Xavier, who clearly didn't.
"Who cares?!" Exclaimed Pyro, "They took away my fire!" He pointed accusingly around the room, so angry and confused he wasn't sure whom to point at.
He grabbed hold of his lighter that Jean held and they struggled over it for a few seconds, like a tug of war.
"But I love you!" Declared Jean.
"And I love you too!" He shouted back, "I just happen to love fire more! Can't you understand that?!"
"No!"
The lighter slipped from both their grasps and flew through the air, and hit Mesmero square on the noggin.
He collapsed on the floor and there was a collective gasp from the room.
"Mesmero?" Asked Magneto, "Can you hear me old chum?"
Mesmero sat up.
"Ouch." He said.
"Do you still think you're cupid?" Asked Xavier.
"Cupid? What? No."
Suddenly the situation dawned on everyone and they all sprang away from their so-called 'loved ones.'
"Yeuch!" Spat Rogue, "All I can taste is Lance."
"Gross gross gross gross gross." Said Amara, running upstairs for a shower. Todd hopped in behind her.
"So long babycakes!" He called after her, "Now, where's original babycakes?" He looked around for Wanda.
"C'mon Toad." She said, taking his arm, "You can take me home. You can't be much more disturbing than the day I've had so far."
"Come along Acolytes." Said Magneto to Pyro and Gambit. "That's quite enough shenanigans for one day."
"Yes your Magnussness." Agreed the acolytes and followed him out of the door.
Pyro picked up his lighter on the way out and winked at Jean, who was suddenly very pale.
"I have to go re-evaluate my life." She said, before walking upstairs, very slowly, in some kind of mind-warped daze.
Kitty sat down next to Rogue and stared at her hands in shame.
"You hate me don't you?" She asked.
"No. Kinda hate myself though."
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
The next morning, laying in her extremely comfortable bed, Storm felt strangely as though she'd done something terrible. There were bottles of various alchoholic substances littered around the room.
"Oh god." She said, "What did I do?"
She tried and tried to remember. And suddenly, she got the feeling she wasn't alone in bed. She went completely rigid with apprehension and looked over to her left.
"Phew."
It was just a black cat.
She must've left the window open.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Wahey! That's it! Story complete. You guys like? Reviews please. Super dooper big thank you Dylan. I love you more than ever.
