Just A Coincidence Ch. 9
For some, attraction to the opposite sex is easy to develop or 'fall' into. And for them, they'd say
"it's the most natural thing in the world. There's nothing wrong with that." And even knowing
they could risk it all, they still follow their hearts.
"It's better to have loved and lost, then to never have loved at all." A cliche I've heard a million
times. Maybe I've picked it up somewhere or I caught Mina saying it with dramatic passion, or I
just heard it on a rare occasion. But it stayed with me for some reason. Sure, it's no big deal.
Silly quotes are to effect our lives in some odd way but definitely not in a life altering manner.
For me however, there's a deeper meaning to that quote.
And to this 'deeper meaning', I had absolutely disagreed with it.
And note the past tense, "had".
I HAD disliked the concept of love for some time. I wouldn't blame others if they had labeled
me 'a man hater' (or at least that's what I thought of myself). But of course I wasn't. I just didn't
like the concept of love itself. I mean why would anyone want to fall in love even when they
know the possibility that the person they love might not return the same feeling for them? It's
unethical. And it's quite absurd. Definitely far from practical too. For love as most would say
had no limits. To me it did. It had limits. And it had limited me. Excluded me.
Until this year.
My senior year.
When I had least expected it.
And to the person... the wrong person... no, the LAST person on earth I'd ever think to fall in
love with.
And one could say that it somewhat changed my whole perception about 'love' or made me
think not too less of it.
"How could this possibly happen?" Someone might enquire.
Let's just say it all changed in one party, right place, right time, and... wrong guy.
Fate, in my opinion, stepped into my life when I least expected it... through intervention.
--------------
It's been two months and we had finally reached the end of Mina's waltzing practice sessions. It
would be assumed that I would be very happy about the whole thing; how the persistent English
teacher would finally be out of my (out side of school) sights, how my Fridays will be back to
their norms, and finally how the lame dancing practices shall exist no more.
Oh believe me, im quite pleased about the whole thing.
But im also happy that I'll never see 'him' again.
And why would that be?
It has also been a month since I had found out the truth about... well, who sxytuxboi was.
A month since the growing awkwardness between Pretty Boy and myself appeared and sustained
itself while we practiced, feeding off that oh-so-memorable event of that fateful day. The day he
decided to let me know the truth... and how I refused to believe him.
Darien "Pretty Boy" Chiba. The man claiming he was my online boyfriend.
"My online lover."
Funny how that sounds. I can only cringe at the mellow dramatic word "lover."
The one I had shared most of myself with and the one who... shared the same dreams that I had
nightly.
And this came from Pretty Boy...
I figured back then that if I had opened myself up to someone (Besides Mina) it wouldn't do any
harm. But little did I know that this would be an understatement... "do no harm". Yeah right.
Now this guy has me wondering. I'm starting to have doubts now about the whole situation... in
general. Did he really do that to hurt me? And... Would you blame me? I mean what person
wouldn't come to a 'common sense' conclusion that someone like him would play a practical
joke on me?
I had also wondered what his motive could be as to why he would do that in the first place...
And all I could come up with is that he's just a natural jerk.
That in itself gave him the licence to make me believe he WOULD do such a thing to me.
"So did anyone actually do the extra credit assignment?" I had caught the last few lines Mrs.
Haruna announced, drawing me out of my thoughts. I widened my eyes when I realized that I
absentmindedly stared at Pretty Boy throughout my whole hazed-in-thought process.
I shifted my eyes quickly, alternating glances between Mr. Haruna's face and the simple round
clock on the class room wall that I have gotten quite accustomed to stare at for the past month.
Well obviously, to have him not notice me doing... that infamously rude 'staring' act.
But who am I kidding? Of course he had noticed. Like he always had.
Like a pathetic chain reaction of who starts the staring game, he'd make the first move then I'd
do the same. Back and forth, back and forth. Sort of exchanging silent insults. Only I'd be the
one throwing the vicious glares... And he... He'd give me his...
His searing gazes. The kinds of looks that would make someone want to shrink into an
impossible microscopic size then run underneath the biggest slab of rock you could find. The
kinds of stares that make the hairs of someone's arms stand erect and give mild chills or shocks
that would run up and down your spine. And yes, the kinds that makes the heart beat
continuously like it's about to explode right off a human chest.... and give someone an ulcer.
He did this.
And he did this to me without any trouble.
If anything, it was unmistakable that he knew he had this kind of power...
Over me.
Did he?
His two dark entrancing blue eyes; Oh how I'd like to poke them out. I knew he was looking at
me. ALWAYS looking at me. His eyes never leaving my form and showing no sign of stopping
the ludicrous act. He sure as hell wasn't embarrassed about it either.
You'd think that if you return the same action of staring back at them, they'd take the hint to quit
it.
Oh but no.
And just when I think he isn't looking (which would hardly be ever), my own curious eyes would
wonder on their own (off handedly leading their way to his direction) and just like that, he'd still
be staring... And again I would make myself check the time... look at the teacher... look at my
desk... pick up whatever work I had on my desk and pretend to analyze it just to avoid his stares,
which made things more obvious. And this became a cycle.
A daily routine.
Yes. I have no choice but to call this situation awkward. I mean who wouldn't?
And talk about awkwardness in general. Pretty Boy was the pinnacle of it.
Well he can't take all the blame...
the both of us were.
And if this wasn't enough, our dance rehearsals were no better.
Me, obviously not excited to dance with him for the past month, would try to dance at a distance
from him. The distance between us - let's just say another person could fit in between. And he...
he didn't seem to care. He would still be staring. Right AT me. STILL.
Like a freak.
Like a person who just had eye problems and refused to be cured by anything.
Or I could be imagining things...
Mrs. Haruna, at each chance she saw the both of us dance in this strange way, would always
force us closer together.
Great... It's as if she could read the both of our minds.
Convenient.
To be forced into touching his hand - to feel his gentle grip - to have his body so close to mine...
to be forced into inhaling his sent; cologne torturing me - taunting me - to actually want to get
closer to him... Each time we danced, my heart would leap every five seconds. I'd hold my
breath when he'd pull me close (at Mrs. Haruna's cue of course) and my self never wanting to
look into his face... It's too much for me.. (scratch that) it's UNBEARABLE.
"Yes. Mrs. Haruna, I did the extra credit assignment. Here's my paper." I heard myself say, my
right hand absent mindedly raising on it's own.
"Excellent Ms. Tsukino. I'm glad you're one who took advantage of this extra credit assignment.
But please, hold on to it."
I rose both my eyebrows.
"Um, I don't want to question you Mrs. Haruna but... You don't want my work?"
"Oh... Did I not inform you all that all students who did the assignment must recite it in front of
class?" She looked at the class expectantly, then looked at me with a smile. "It's part of the
essence poetry. To recite it with emotion. That is why I told you to keep the paper unless you
memorized your own work."
"Err.. Uh... No." I answered mildly alarmed. "I didn't memories it, let alone know that we were
suppose to recite this."
"Well then... You should be more attentive in class next time."
'Oh yeah. Sure. Blame me.' I mentally rolled my eyes. 'Why don't you tell that to Pretty Boy so
he could stop the whole staring like an asinine routine.'
Crap. I hated giving speeches, let alone having to be the focus of an audience. I just hoped I
didn't have to do this now.
"So without further adieu, will you please stand up and read your poem to the class." Mrs.
Haruna smiled again, as if she read my mind and answered it, but this time, her friendly facial
gesture seemed to turn into an evil grin. Ah... teachers enjoyed torturing students... well it's a
theory of mine anyway.
Hesitantly, I stood up, my hand clenched to the paper. The process of standing up in itself,
seemed like an eternity. I thought I felt my knees shake in anticipation... I hope it didn't look
obvious. God, how was I going to do this?
'Just read it. That's all there is to it.' I willed myself to raise the paper and to concentrate on my
own chicken scratch of what I call 'hand writing'. 'This is such a piece of man whore... You can
do this. Get it over with.'
"I, umm. Ahhum..." I cleared my throat, and scanned around the room once. My eyes had once
again landed onto Pretty Boy's face. "Uh..."
All the functions of what it took for my brain to go into the "thinking process" seemed to have
shut down. Once again, my staring at Pretty Boy had confirmed that he was staring at me again
and this time... right into my eyes.
I felt my breath hitch in my throat.
"I um..." I subconsciously mumbled, as I continued to stare at Pretty Boy with a mix of awe and
nervousness. "Err..."
"Ms. Tsukino, if you will." Mrs. Haruna noticed my sudden verbal inhibition and maybe, my
lack of awareness at anything for that matter. "Can you please start off by giving us the title of
your work?"
'WHY IS HE STILL STARING?'
"Oh uh..." I clumsily uttered, blinking back to reality. I painfully ripped my gaze from Pretty
Boy and drew them to the paper at hand. "It's called... 'The Eyes.'"
"The Eyes? Hmm interesting..." I heard Mrs. Haruna say off handedly.
Hearing her repeat the simple title, my breath hitched once again as I was brought into full
realization.
Well let me explain a little something about my poem. Remember when I said I didn't have any
inspiration for the assignment? In desperation, I... may have used Pretty Boy's actions for the
basis of my poem.
Okay, in simpler terms, the poem is primarily about what Pretty Boy had been doing lately... and
what I've been doing lately.
And therein lies the problem... I didn't know I had to read it, let alone read it to the entire class...
Including Darien Chiba himself.
'Oh god this is really BAD timing.' With that last thought in mind, I closed my eyes and inhaled.
And so began the excruciating poetry recital.
"I... see you across the room.... Your eyes shift slowly... This is the sign of my doom." I paused
for a second and snuck a gaze at Pretty Boy. Apparently, the action wasn't obvious to him, but
he shifted in his seat uncomfortably at what he heard.
I began again,"This tells me, I am too lonely..."
"...They say you talk like the Spring. Whisper sweet words in to the breeze. Your speech, they
say, it is satisfying. They say you let no girl's heart at ease."
'Jerk.' I inwardly groaned at that line.
"Lover sweet, lover dear. You tell the maidens, have no fear. You say the prince they long for, Is
here..." I thought that sounded sarcastic. Judging from Pretty Boy's action of shifting in his seat
uncomfortably again, from the corner of my eye, it indeed confirmed that it sounded sarcastic.
"...Now you stare back at me. I am like the gullible maidens... But unlike them... I have fear."
I paused for a moment, this time much longer than I expected. My eyes lifted up and this time, to
meet his gaze... all over again.
My heart leaped at the sudden eye contact.
The paper in my hand was left un-noticed now as I continued, "...They say you are the man of
men. Your talk, I cannot hear..."
'Oh and this is because I refuse to listen to whatever you tried to explain to me.' A thought
commented once again referring to the last line.
"...They reach into my twin windows.... They reach without hands. You have now crossed new
territory of land.... I don't understand how you can DO THIS. How you CAN."
He narrowed his eyes to me at the emphasis of the recent line.
So did I.
"So let not me bare it. Let me shut my eyes. I can not and will not stand it-- what I see in your
eyes. They are all lies..."
"You make me stumble. You make me fall. I will make a sturdy wall... And I refuse to make it
crumble... in your presence."
An awkward silence followed, as my eyes continued to be magnetized by his own.
There was something in his eyes now... was it anger?
'Yeah what a way to make things more obvious.' I didn't know whether that thought was
directed more towards him, for his gazes, or me, for reciting the god forsaken poem in front of
everyone in the first place.
"Well, Ms. Tsukino, I must admit that is quite an interesting poem you've created." Mrs. Haruna
noticed the awkward silence that lasted more than expected, and the class reluctantly began to
clap at the end of my poetic recital. "It is as if you are specifically speaking to someone in this
room."
'You got that right.' A thought crossed my mind.
"...Huh what?" My head darted back to her direction, desperately ripping my gaze from Pretty
Boy, aware that I had continued to stay in contact with his eyes.
"You had a very good tone when you recited that poem. A lot of emotion. Your extra credit is
earned." She asked for more volunteers. "Any others?"
Before I could sit down in relief, his voice had taken the chance away.
Yes. HIS voice.
"I... have one Mrs. Haruna."
I immediately tensed before finally sitting myself down cautiously, slightly feeling the color of
my cheeks drain as I did this.
Little did I know that the situation was about to get worse.
Alarmed, my eyes began to scan my poem, still at hand back and forth, suddenly pretending to
look very interested in it.
'W-What's he got to be poetic about?' My brows furrowed in nervous inquiry.
"Very well Mr. Chiba." Mrs. Haruna interjected my last thought with that same 'evil' grin that
she gave me earlier on before. "You can start off by giving us your title."
"Sure. It's called..." As he stood up, I could feel his eyes focusing on me. "It's called, 'The
Attempt to Give An Explanation.'"
I cringed at hearing the title, also gaining the urge to widen my eyes.
'WHAT the HELL?'
I swallowed another airy lump in my throat.
"...We had dreamed of each other every night." He inserted a small pause as if to give emphasis.
I darted my eyes to him at this. Unfortunately, he caught the act and permanently locked his eyes
with mine.
And so began the staring war all over again.
"...We had talked to each other under different circumstances."
My heart began to pound louder, raising in tempo, for each word that he uttered.
"It was less than perfect, and it may not have seemed right... So how can you not see the
metaphoric light?"
I became aware that he no longer looked at his paper for reference. He was now reciting, as if he
was just talking to me. ONLY ME.
It was now my turn to shift uncomfortably in my seat.
"The light that is rationality.... Rationality in words and in conversation.... And in truth through
EXPLANATION."
Great. He just HAD to emphasize the last word.
"... But you seem to refuse reality." He suddenly lowered his voice, causing me to shiver. I felt
like squirming.
And I think I slightly did.
"...The reality that I told you... And that this happened... Yes. But did you listen? No... And I had
confessed... I had to show."
Wow so he was indirectly complaining about me not believing what he had to say. I mentally
rolled my eyes at what he said.
"But yet again you refuse... You ignored it...." He uttered as if he read my recent sarcastic
thought. "So what was this all for?"
"I tried to answer that question. But you had shut the door... The door to opportunity...Was it a
coincidence? Or was it something else?"
'Is he presenting a theory here?' I questioned subconsciously, referring to his last line.
"I need to know the evidence... To know it for ourselves."
That line alone struck me down like a ton of bricks.
"... So please...Why don't we talk? Let's be civil about this." He suddenly recited pleadingly.
"Let opportunity knock... And don't let yourself miss..."
'Miss what?' Another thought transpired in my train of thinking.
"... Miss out of what could be... Maybe something good..." His voice became even more soft. I
shivered again at his action.
"...Something good for our reality."
'Something good for OUR reality? What the HELL does he mean by THAT?' I mentally huffed
when the class began clapping again in boredom, signaling the end of his recital. I broke our
gaze off as I slightly cocked my head to one side as if to ponder. 'Obviously, the jerk wrote the
poem about us... why didn't I see it coming?'
"Well earned credit Mr. Chiba." Mrs. Haruna commented again when the 'enthusiastic' class
died down the applause. "If I didn't know any better, I would say that your poem was written to
counter Ms. Tsukino's."
My eyes widened and I immediately blushed. Did Mrs. Haruna think the both of us were that
obvious?
"No shyt." before I could stop myself from saying the profanity, Mrs. Haruna glared at me and
paused... so did the rest of the class.
"WHAT was that Mrs. Tsukino?"
'Great JUST great!'
"Err.. Uh... I meant to say... That's it?" I redden even more. "Yeah... That's it? That's all Mr.
Chiba wrote...?"
Mrs. Haruna only raised a skeptical eyebrow at me, but somehow bought my lame attempt at
covering up my 'bad word.' She then continued while looking at her wrist watch, "Well, it looks
like we'll have to stop here for today. We'll continue on with the extra credit assignment
tomorrow if we have time toward the end of the class-"
And just like that the bell rang, cutting off the rest of Mrs. Haruna's announcement, and might I
add, VERY sweetly, knowing that I needed to leave the room right away.
God that was the most humiliating experience of my life.
Was it?
-------------
"Serena?"
"Hmm?"
"...What's wrong?"
I looked at Mina wearily, lifting my gaze from the newest edition of "Sailor V" comics, forcing a
smile on my lips. Mina and I were in her room, laying down lazily, three hours before the last
rehearsal for the waltz would ensue. "What do you mean?"
"You know... What's up with you?" She gave me a concerned stare now, showing no signs of her
letting the subject go. "You know I'm not stupid, chick. For the past month you haven't been
acting like yourself lately."
"And how, may I ask, am I not acting like myself?"
"You've been more... quiet... Not to mention," She continued seriously, as she sat up from her
laying position on her bed. "You've been acting kind of weird around... Darien... during the
rehearsals I mean."
'Am I an open book or something?' I thought in mock defeat, realizing Mina was right on target.
I closed my eyes and sighed. Having Mina mention his name, alone, brought back those
awkward feelings again... not to mention the embarrassment I felt from class today.
Unknowingly, I had frowned while I tried to come up with an excuse.
"And... I have a feeling you're hiding something from me... something that's been bothering you
for a month." She added, a hint of hurt in her voice. "Come on. You know you can tell me
anything... So this is the time to do so."
Deciding it was pointless to lie to Mina now, knowing she had caught on the fact, that whatever I
had been feeling was directly connected to Pretty Boy, I began to admit sadly, "Yeah. You're
right. Something happened to me about a month ago..."
I paused comfortably, looking at Mina tentatively for a signal to continue. She then gave me a
reassuring nod.
I sighed once more, "Yeah... and... you're also right. It did have something to do with...
Darien..."
"Let me guess. You had another fight with him?" She gave me a questioning look. "I... also
noticed he's been acting weird himself."
"Oh really?" I raised a lone eye brow at her but then continued. "Well in that case... anyway... do
you remember my cyber boyfriend?"
She gave me a smirk. "How can I forget?"
"Well, you see... He's... He is..." Now I gave her another hesitant look, realizing that this was the
first time I was going to share with someone the events that took place since that fateful day, let
alone telling her what events that day triggered my sudden emotional change. I began playing
with the edges of the "Sailor V" comic book. "He's Darien."
Although my eyes had averted to the comic book in front of me, I could tell Mina's mouth had
hung, trying to absorb what has been said. A short silence followed, as I continued to look at the
comic book worriedly.
"You're cyber boyfriend is... Darien? As in Darien Chiba, the one you've been having verbal
judo with avidly?" Her surprise was obvious in her tone. "H-how'd this happen?"
I rolled my eyes now, fully aware that I was now going to tell her EVERYTHING... Details to
further help her connect the concept of Darien being my EX cyber boyfriend.
"Okay. You know about the dreams I've been having right? And of course you know how the
online relationship ties in with the whole dream thing..." I now closed the cover of the comic
book and pushed it aside. I rolled over from my 'laying on tummy position' to have myself face
the ceiling. Mina continued to eye me curiously. "Well... Apparently, Darien was him all this
time... without me knowing."
"Well... then that's great! It's a small world after all and who would've thought that it could be
Darien?" She smiled brightly now, lying back down again on the bed.
"No it's not." was my sudden annoyed response.
"No it's not what?" Mina obviously oblivious in the situation that it seemed 'great'. She failed to
understand the negative part of the story.
"You don't get it... I didn't know it was him..."
"And?"
"Mina, isn't it obvious? He played a practical joke on me." I sighed in frustration, not because I
couldn't get Mina to understand me, but because the memory of what Pretty Boy had done
brought back the stinging feeling in my heart. He had hurt me... multiple times. "Mina, he lied to
me."
"He lied to you? How was that possible?"
"He... didn't tell me it was him.. From the beginning!"
"But, Serena. If I remember correctly," She paused for a moment then continued, "The two of
you had ground rules. You guys couldn't tell each other your identities. Right?"
"Yeah but-"
"Are you saying, that Darien Chiba might have known it was you all along and didn't bother to
tell you?"
"Yes-"
"So that makes him the bad guy then? How'd you know he knew your identity before you even
met? Did you bother asking him if he honestly knew it was you?"
That last question hit me like a train without mercy.
Was it possible that me, Serena Tsukino, became stubborn and didn't bother to not have a
narrow mind about the situation?
"I... NO. I didn't give him..."Guilt was clearly heard in my tone. "No. I didn't give him the time
of day to explain himself..."
"Well, why didn't you?" The question, simple in its nature, had somehow managed to give me
an epiphany. And it struck me, that I didn't know a straight answer to that question.
"I..." I struggled to put together a response. How was I going to put this? "Mina, you just don't
understand. This is Darien Chiba we're talking about here."
"Well then explain." She said, mildly condescending. "What makes Darien Chiba not worth
listening to for an explanation?"
Her last question immediately triggered a chain of memories to flash through my mind.
The moments of my freshman year... how he rejected me... The way he acted around me for the
last four years, including this one. He was a shallow jerk... and I... I didn't want to be noticed in
his life. EVER.
He wasn't worth the time of day to understand because...
He simply had hurt me.
I subconsciously reached up my face to wipe a tear away and sniffled as the memories continued
to race in my mind.
"Serena?" Mina sat up again, and hovered over me. "Serena? What's wrong? Was it something I
said?"
I snapped back to reality, suddenly sitting up on the bed. I can't believe I just shed a tear.
"It's... It's nothing Mina." I tried to wave off the expression of concern on her face. However,
she continued to glue her worried gaze on me.
"Serena... what did I just tell you? You can tell me anything! Come on! Something's obviously
wrong here." She frowned at me and shook her head. "And this- Your mood is definitely
connected to Darien Chiba."
With that, I turned around to the edge of her bed, legs dangling off a few inches from the floor. I
sat silently for a moment, shoulders hunched, and away from Mina. And this time, there wasn't
anything to stop me from what I was about to say to her.
"Mina... What I'm about to tell you... It's something I'm very ashamed of. It's something I never
told anyone before..."I trailed off, sensing Mina coming over to sit next to me. She put a friendly
arm around my shoulder, and I found myself leaning into her half embrace. "And no, I'm not
doing drugs or having sex."
"I bet." Mina giggled at my attempt to lighten the brooding mood that I had unknowingly
applied in the air.
"Three years ago, the year before I met you, freshman year..." I sadly began, noticing my eyes
were becoming to brim with tears. "I know this will sound stupid even though I know this was a
long time ago but, Darien hurt me that year."
"How so?"
"Mina... I had a crush on him... Like every other dumb girl that fell into his trap." I paused to
take a breather. Satisfied from inhaling, I continued, "And... because I liked him so much, I
wrote him a letter... of my affections... Or in simpler terms, I wrote him a love letter."
"Aww that's so cute-"
"No Mina, let me finish." I inhaled another breath. I was not going to let Mina make this sound
like a sappy but-failed-miserably love story, although it truly was. "Yes... I wrote him a love
letter and... he recieved it."
"What was his reaction?"
At that, I closed my eyes to remember...
"I remember giving him the love letter and of course being naively excited, hoped for the best.
The next day, I was walking down the halls and just as I was about to round a corner, I over
heard Darien talk to his... friends. He– He was talking about me. And the way he was talking
about me... It didn't sound good... It didn't sound so good that I realized what I did was a
mistake. A HUGE childish mistake."
"Serena... Telling someone how you feel isn't always a mistake-"
"Oh Mina, it truly was." I opened my eyes again, trying to blink back tears that were threatening
to fall. "I over heard him say... That... He didn't like me. He rejected me."
I sighed again in frustration, wiping the trail of tears off my cheeks.
"Serena... I hate to break this to you but... That was a long time ago. Just like you said. And... He
was a kid back then..." Mina lightly rubbed my back to comfort me. "He probably didn't know
any better."
"I know Mina. I know that." I shook my head slowly, trying to gather my thoughts again. "But
since then, I just... made myself believe Darien will never stop being a jerk. He hurt me so many
times... It's just not worth it..."
"I'm just wondering though, Serena... Did you really make sure Darien knew you liked him? Did
he even know you heard what he said about you three years ago?" She looked at me slightly
remorseful. "I mean, it could totally be a huge misunderstanding."
"No. I'm positive... I'm sure he knew, but... he just probably forgot now." I nodded in
conformation. "And I'm really glad that he doesn't remember either... It would be incredibly
stupid if he found out the reason im so upset with him is because of that little incident. In fact it
might even worsen the situation."
"But Serena... If anything, I think telling him how you truly feel, including how you felt in the
past, might help resolve your issue. Quite frankly, I think Darien has no clue why you're so
upset, well, besides him thinking it's just about the online relationship thing."
I looked at her for a moment then shook my head.
"Mina, although your reasons sound plausible, I can't get rid of the possibilities that he may
have had wrong intentions for me... with the online situation. He may have done it as a joke in
retaliation. I probably sucked so much as a partner for him."
Mina chuckled but quickly stopped seeing that I was serious.
"Serena... I don't think Darien did that out of cruelty. Seriously, it doesn't sound like him to do
that."
"How do you know that?"
All of a sudden, as if receiving an epiphany herself, Mina looked at me wide eyed with a smile.
"Serena... Do you... still like him?"
I slightly opened my mouth in shock.
"What the HELL? Excuse me?" I frowned in disgust. "You're kidding me right?"
"Oh, don't deny it Serena! Don't you dare deny it! You wouldn't be so uptight about Darien if
you still haven't let go of those feelings for him." She beamed at me with a sly wink. "You even
admitted yourself that the situation a long time ago doesn't seem important. But it still is!"
"And your point being?"
"You still have feelings for him, my dear. As much as you want to deny it, he's still rather
important to you."
I paled at her comment.
"Just because I was hurt in the past by HIM, doesn't mean I still like him, Mina. I can't even see
any logic in that!" I huffed.
"And it also explains why you're always so receptively eager to argue with him. I mean, in some
morbid way, your showing your affections for him!"
I gave her one look as if she said the most idiotic thing possible.
"Mina, no. Just drop it already."
"Okay, whatever Serena. But in any case," She decided to let go of that subject but continued
with another. "I think you should talk with Darien and clear things up with him. Let him know
how you're feeling because... well... The dancing that you guys are doing is putting a negative
impact in the routine. You know, it's putting a damper on things. And I thought your dancing
was just really bad... but apparently there was a reason for it."
I rolled my eyes. "So that's how you noticed things weren't dandy between me and that jerk."
"Uh yeah..."
"Great... just great." I gave her a shrug. "Well, if Darien wants to make amends with me, I'm not
making the first move. He is."
"God, Serena. You've got pride the size of Texas." She laughed at me, for once bringing me to a
sincere huge grin. "I swear, you really want to make that guy suffer a little."
"Your point being?"
And we just laughed.
( ^_^) (^.~) ( '_') (~.^) ( O_O) (^.^) ( O.o) (~.~)
"So... It's still bothering you isn't it?"
I groaned.
"What's bothering me?" I was at the Crown Arcade again, trying to get my afternoon caffeine
fix.
"I don't know. You tell me." Andrew smirked. "And get your mind out of the gutter. Focus."
"Screw it." I rolled my eyes. "I'm not going to waste my time trying to make that girl
understand. I failed for the last time."
"Oh really? What was you recent attempt to fail?"
"Read her a poem this morning, in class. It sounded like horse manure." I took my first sip out of
the steaming cup of coffee in front of me. "I'm telling you, every method is failing me."
"Except for one." Andrew wiped the counter again as usual. "And you know perfectly well what
that method is."
"Drugging her?" I sarcastically remarked, pulling out this morning's news paper from my
backpack. I didn't have time to indulge myself in the latest issue of 'Juuban City Enquirer' as I
normally did every morning, since I passed up the opportunity, so to create that perfectly useless
poetic pile of crap. "Right now, that seems really enticing."
"Dumb ass. What a way to woo a girl." Andrew shook his head at me. "Be smart. You pull that
stunt and you'll instantly get yourself a restraining order from her. By the way, that still wont
lesson your problems."
"Boohoo. You made a point." I chuckled. "But, knowing where I think this conversation is
going, I think I've already established the notion that the 'confrontation' method isn't exactly a
good idea. It bit me in the ass and really... do you want to put me through that again?"
"Well yes."
"And I thought you were a friend of mine." I snidely remarked. "And may I ask why I deserve
the honor of suffering with that well-worn-out method again?"
"Because... Honesty is the best policy." He smirked again. "Besides, threes a charm."
"Shut up with your stupid metaphoric sayings." I lifted the cup of coffee again to my lips, now
eyeing the news paper intently. "What I don't need are riddles. What I DO need, however, is
practical and sensible advice. So shove your proverbs."
"My, my... So Serena really IS getting to you." I cringed, remembering that line that I had used
on him about Mina before. What goes around, apparently in my case, came around. And just
great. Andrew's cliche sayings were rubbing off on me. "She's really getting to you. Just admit
it. You've been smitten."
"So what? Fine. I am admitting to it. And to speak in your philosophical language..." I gave him
a smug look. "I'm drawn to her like the proverbial moth to a flame."
"You mean to say..." He leaned on the counter with an all knowing grin. "You like her even
though she's a feisty one. You're drawn to her because you think you may not handle her."
"Bastard. You think you know everything." I playfully frowned in disgust. "Don't quit your day
job and help me out already."
"Fine. What do you want me to say?"
"Tell me why she's so stubborn." I lowered the news paper and gave him a grin. "Come on
Einstein. Why won't she listen to me every time I want to talk to her?"
He stared off into some dark corner of the room to ponder for a moment. He then gave another
smirk.
"It's probably your style, man. You're approach is lacking at the romantic-assertive side." Came
an unsuspecting answer. "And you probably say the wrong things."
"Oh. So the last time I tried talking to her with the whole rose and letter bit was TOTALLY
unconventional." I cynically replied, taking another hearty sip of coffee.
"Well for one thing, haven't you considered that the information that she was about to receive
would be quite, I don't know, SURPRISING?" He widen his eyes sarcastically before plastering
a smirk. "And don't force a girl to stay and listen if she wants to leave... It's not like I didn't see
what went on outside from the inside this building."
He gestured toward the wide glass windows across the room and I sighed realizing that, besides
Andrew, maybe half the block saw the dramatic scene as well.
"God, didn't anyone write a handbook about these things?" I groaned, finally taking the last sip
of coffee. "Oh, and let me know if they do."
"You, my good man, are an insult to men like us." He shook his head again, refilling my cup of
coffee. "Once again, don't give up with confronting her. Watch what you say, and be aware of
what she might want to say as well."
"You sound like you're telling me how to have a decent conversation."
"Idiot. It's not JUST a conversation. It's a conversation with the woman you are deeply in love
with."
I widened my eyes.
"Excuse me but, I admitted to liking her. LOVE is a completely different matter."
"Yes but... attraction to the right person always leads to LOVE."
"Sure thing, Andrew. Sure thing." I began to gather my things, wanting to get home. The final
waltzing rehearsal was about to start in three ours. I on the other hand decided to use the
remaining time wisely. "Oh yeah. Here's three bucks for your ridiculous thoughts."
"Darien, if I may correct you, the proper saying is 'A penny for your thoughts.'" He lightly
smacked his hand onto the bills and wiped them off the table into the pocket of his apron. "By
the way, you suck at tipping."
---------
When I finally got home, I dejectedly sat down on my couch and sighed with annoyance.
Why was she making this so hard on me?
Yes. Since the day I tried to tell her the truth, I've been trying to come up with alternate ways to
get her to listen to me... but each time I tried, I always failed miserably. Not giving me the
chance to hear me out, Serena always managed to give me that 'stay away from me' vibe. Was I
that repulsive?
'Why is she so difficult?'
With that thought crossing my mind, my eyes traveled to the coffee table in front of me. There,
peaceful in its spot, stood the infamous 'cool' journal that I had once told Serena. Yes.
"Serena..." How that name slides nicely off my tongue.
"Idiot." I immediately shook my head at my subconscious monologue. "No wonder she doesn't
want to talk to me, seeing that I'm utterly out of my mind."
I grabbed the journal from the table, staring at the cover for all it's beauty.
The deep red rose, embedded in front of the cover-- It reminded me of... her?
And once again the wheels of my mind began to turn.
Serena "Meat ball head" Tsukino... Was Lone1iGrl. Thus, she would also be the one having
dreams about a guy, coincidently enough, for the past year just like I have.
JUST LIKE I HAVE.
And that meant one thing. She was also the girl in my dreams.
That could also explain why, the day of the masquerade ball, I thought I knew I found her. And
had felt her... And almost... had tasted her.
Her sent– she also smelled like a rose... Why didn't I ever noticed it then?
I had already opened the journal, seeming to have done it for the billionth time, memorizing
each line. I read over one part how she thought I was sexy.
Sexy. Me. Darien Mamoru Chiba.
I smirked as I realize that maybe the 'Chiba' charm also applied in the dreams, noting that
almost all of the gestures I've done to my dream girl were all 'gentle-man' like.
And Serena Tsukino liked it.
I flinched.
'You sick idiot. Here you are thinking these pathetic thoughts while the girl obviously is
disgusted by you.' I mentally kicked myself, running a hand through my hair.
She obviously had given the journal to me because she just wasn't interested.
And she thought It was a joke.
'But then, why would she think that?'
What made her believe I could do something so pathetic as that?
Just like that I snapped the journal shut.
'Maybe I should give up.' A thought silently crept in my mind.
Yes. Just give up. It's just not worth it...
Slowly my eyelids became heavy and somehow, without me knowing, I fell asleep.
Against my will maybe?
Maybe not.
( ^_^) (^.~) ( '_') (~.^) ( O_O) (^.^) ( O.o) (~.~)
Brown but huge elegant doors slowly opened for her.
Once inside, she marveled at the beauty that lay before her. Everything seemed much clearer
now. Her sight no longer seemed hazy. Things were just crystal clear, just like the chandeliers
that hung all around the enormous but gorgeous room.
Inside, she found herself stepping in hesitantly, but still noticed the extravagant decor that lay all
around. Round tables, covered in white cloth and with expensive china and silver wear,
graciously stood scattered on a marble floor. Chairs, brown as oak wood, accented the tables
with honor. And all around the room, paintings of the renaissance era hung lavishly to complete
the look of a true haven.
She saw people everywhere. Talking and moving amongst themselves. They all looked like they
had a good time, not to mention they were dress elegantly. Of course, they themselves were not
as clear as the surroundings. In fact, all their faces were a blur.
Except for one.
The gorgeous but anonymous man that stood alone near the balcony entrance, far across in the
room, was as clear as daylight. In fact, he seemed to have stood out like a sore thumb from the
rest of the crowed. His tall frame leaned against the edge of the balcony door way, his back
facing her, as if he was waiting for someone.
And she instantly knew who it was that he was waiting for.
He turned around slowly, his position changing to stand and face her, as if he sensed she was
nearing him.
She really was nearing him, although she hadn't notice her feet did the job of moving her across
the huge marble dance floor.
Finally, reaching the other side of the room, she merely acknowledged his presence with a sad
smile. She had felt this without the intention of doing the act.
'How strange...' the girl thought.
Her small hands grazed the top of the huge balcony's marble railings now, slowing putting both
the palms of her hands at a rest. She was now focusing at the night sky, the moon seeming to
become brighter and fuller for each time that she blinked.
'Not a cloud in sight.' She thought.
The man, however, unnoticed by the girl now, managed to close the tall brown doors behind him
and walked up to the girl's petit but gorgeous form. As if by natural impulse, he slowly placed
two hands around her small waist, making the girl gasp in surprise and stiffen in her place.
Without another word, the man removed one of his gloved hands from its place and gently
cupped the girls chin to make her turn around... slowly.
Dark blue orbs clashed with light blue ones. Their gaze instantly locked without an effort.
As if eternity slipped through their fingers tips, they inched closer and closer, closing the gap
between them for an obvious act of affection.
Eyes slowly closing behind white masks, both lips parted slightly and a gentle kiss ensued.
Instantly, both their eyes flew open as their visions finally melded into one.
Flash.
The young man saw, in third person view, a young blond highschool girl look admiringly at a
younger version of himself... And to him, it was unmistakable that he was once that youth. She
smiled weakly at the young boy in the school's crowded hallway, but abruptly turned around and
disappeared shyly.
The young woman saw, in her third person view, the same young man look attentively at a pink
love letter in his hand. He seemed to look at it with a goofy grin on his face, as if he was happy
to receive the letter. She then saw the young boy place it in his jean denim jacket pocket, near
his heart.
Another imaged flashed in the young man's eyes, now seeing the same teenage girl walk near
the school's hallway corner. He saw her smile widely while she halted her form before rounding
the corner. However, the same beautiful smile that graced her face suddenly faltered in his eyes,
and he saw her eyes begin to gloss over... with tears. He then saw her shake her head, in what
seemed to be, disbelief and began to run the opposite way from the corner.
A flash of another image dominated the young woman's view, seeing the teenage boy point to a
picture of another young girl, one that was not the younger version of herself, and laughed
mockingly at it with all his other adolescent friends. Surprisingly, the location of the boy seemed
familiar as it dawned on the young woman that it was the corner of the highschool's hallway.
She even saw the glint of golden hair flick at the opposite side of that corner.
Flash.
The young man saw this time, the teenage girl grew older and had become even much more
beautiful. He saw her reluctantly walk by a slightly older teenage version of himself, her face
showing in mild disgust and with pain, clearly written in her sad eyes.
Flash.
The young woman saw through her eyes, the same teenage boy only much older. He was sitting
sadly on a gray leather couch from what looked like the inside an apartment. He stared silently at
the same pink love letter that looked much more worn out. She saw that he had then tucked the
letter away in a brown shoe box.
The flashes became much more intense as both the young man and woman saw familiar images
only in different perspectives. The young man, in his part, saw only images of the young blond
teenager and events that caused her to suddenly change in character. For the young woman, in
her part, saw only images of the teenage boy and the events that lead to his ultimate search for
his happiness... for the perfect girl that would be his, seeing him date girl after girl but never
truly seeing him enjoy it.
The young man and woman finally pulled apart from the kiss, both obviously shocked at what
just happened.
He backed away from her, taking one step back, but eyed her curiously. Seeing this, she too also
stepped back in surprise, a small hand going up to her lips.
They stared at each other as if it seemed like forever, looking at one another contentedly.
And as if by another impulse, the couple inched closer to one another again, and this time each
reached out a hesitant arm to a face.
And it was time.
They new it was time to see.
Finally, each held the edges of the other person's mask, and slowly removed it.
A mixture of shock and awe was written clearly on both their faces.
-------------
"Serena."
"Hm."
"Serena?"
"Hmm... It can't be you... It just can't be you."
"Serena. Please wake up. You're dreaming."
"No... Darien..."
"Serena! Wake up damn it!"
"No, Darien..." I felt an arm lightly shake my shoulder. "IT JUST CAN'T BE YOU!"
I bolted up right, gasping for air.
My eyes had no trouble widening with shock.
Closing my eyes for a few seconds, I focused on bringing back my breathing to a steady rhythm
when I noticed I was hyperventilating quite a bit.
My heart continued to pound like wild drums, however.
"Serena?" I heard a gentle voice ask in concern. "Serena... Did you have, you know, one of those
dreams again?"
I opened my eyes lazily and turned to Mina's direction, seeing that she was now sitting next to
me.
"Yeah... I did." I reluctantly answered. "It's... It's nothing."
"Serena... come on. It obviously wasn't a pleasant dream." I saw concern in her eyes. "Plus, you
were mumbling something. Like... a name."
I looked at her with mild horror, instantly reddening when I realized what she was talking about.
I frowned.
I couldn't believe what I just saw.
The dream guy... really was... Darien.
"Serena?"
"Huh?" Mina interrupted my thoughts. "Oh... What name was I... saying?"
"I bet you wouldn't be surprised but," Mina shook her head a little and gave me a sly smirk.
"You were moaning Darien's name."
I rolled my eyes. She only laughed.
"I don't think I 'moaned' his name per say." I stated with mock disgust. "Merely talking mumbo
jumbo in my sleep."
"Sure you were." She rose an eye brow at me. "So what really happened in your dream?"
I paused for a moment, closing my eyes again. Images of my dream flashed through my mind.
"Well, you know about how my supposed dream guy and I wear masks right?" I started to say
without opening my eyes. "They're kind of like the masks that we wore in Amy's masquerade
ball."
"Yeah. I remember."
"Well, guess what." I opened my eyes now and faced her with a slight frown. "No more masks in
this dream."
Mina suddenly widen her eyes.
"Oh my god. You mean to say you've been dreaming about, you know, 'him' for this long?!"
Mina brought a bewildered hand to her 'O' shaped mouth. "Oh my-"
"Yes. The concluding dream showed me it was... Darien." I replied, almost whispering too
softly. "I just can't... believe it."
Mina noticed the change in my tone.
"Serena? May I ask?" She put a gentle hand on my slumped shoulder. "Why were you saying, 'It
just can't be you?'"
I looked at her silently, almost ashamed.
"I, I did?" I lied, giving fake astonishment. "Oh well- I don't know."
A long silence followed as I continued to wonder about what exactly happened in my dream.
'He kissed me and... there were flashes of... memories. They weren't mine.'
"Oh." Mina broke the silence, halting anymore thoughts about the dream. "Yeah, um... anyway...
We still got another hour to kill before practice starts. Do you want something to eat? I'll bring
you something from down stairs."
"Um, sure. Sounds great but, I think I'll go down with you."
-------------
"You slept an hour ago didn't you." The first sentence he uttered toward me since that fateful
day.
He silently twirled me once as I tried to look away. Anything to escape his gaze.
"No." came my only response.
"I know you drempt again." He pulled me close to his body, my back tingling at the site of where
his hand supported me. I still managed not to face him. "Just admit it."
"Back off Chiba." I growled in a strong condescending tone. "What the hell are you trying to
prove anyway?"
"You think I'm trying to prove something?"
I narrowed my eyes away from him, the both of us still continuing to move in rhythmic circles.
"Explain this morning's drama." I dryly muttered.
"That?" I heard him say airily. "Well, you started it."
"Oh, don't tell me that Mrs. Haruna was wrong about her 'theory' that your pile of poetic
manure was really written about us." I cynically replied. "You wrote that for me to hear."
"So what if her theory was right?" I felt him narrow his gaze on me, as he twirled me once. "It
was the only way for me to get you to listen."
"Bull." I snorted. "Aren't you the drama king."
Before he could answer at my remark, there was a sequence in the dance routine, having the
partners switch with others. I found myself secretly craving the time I wasn't dancing with him.
And just as I thought I was out of the blue, we switched back.
"Damn it." I mumbled under my breath.
"What was that?" He caught my waist and I could only gasp. I knew he was grinning.
He was grinning because he did this in my dream... Or as much as I'd like to deny, he did this in
'our' dream.
"Haven't you had enough when you played that pathetic practical joke on me?" I snidely
retorted, plastering a small frown. "Maybe you haven't and you still want to pry into my life."
"Damn it, Serena." He suddenly twirled me, forcing me to face him. I tried to turn my head
away. "How many times do I have to tell you? I didn't know it was you that I was talking to
online with. Why can't you just accept that."
I finally looked into his eyes, trying to reenforce a glare. Instead, the exact opposite displayed on
my facial features.
I looked at him hurt.
"Because... I can't"
For some, attraction to the opposite sex is easy to develop or 'fall' into. And for them, they'd say
"it's the most natural thing in the world. There's nothing wrong with that." And even knowing
they could risk it all, they still follow their hearts.
"It's better to have loved and lost, then to never have loved at all." A cliche I've heard a million
times. Maybe I've picked it up somewhere or I caught Mina saying it with dramatic passion, or I
just heard it on a rare occasion. But it stayed with me for some reason. Sure, it's no big deal.
Silly quotes are to effect our lives in some odd way but definitely not in a life altering manner.
For me however, there's a deeper meaning to that quote.
And to this 'deeper meaning', I had absolutely disagreed with it.
And note the past tense, "had".
I HAD disliked the concept of love for some time. I wouldn't blame others if they had labeled
me 'a man hater' (or at least that's what I thought of myself). But of course I wasn't. I just didn't
like the concept of love itself. I mean why would anyone want to fall in love even when they
know the possibility that the person they love might not return the same feeling for them? It's
unethical. And it's quite absurd. Definitely far from practical too. For love as most would say
had no limits. To me it did. It had limits. And it had limited me. Excluded me.
Until this year.
My senior year.
When I had least expected it.
And to the person... the wrong person... no, the LAST person on earth I'd ever think to fall in
love with.
And one could say that it somewhat changed my whole perception about 'love' or made me
think not too less of it.
"How could this possibly happen?" Someone might enquire.
Let's just say it all changed in one party, right place, right time, and... wrong guy.
Fate, in my opinion, stepped into my life when I least expected it... through intervention.
--------------
It's been two months and we had finally reached the end of Mina's waltzing practice sessions. It
would be assumed that I would be very happy about the whole thing; how the persistent English
teacher would finally be out of my (out side of school) sights, how my Fridays will be back to
their norms, and finally how the lame dancing practices shall exist no more.
Oh believe me, im quite pleased about the whole thing.
But im also happy that I'll never see 'him' again.
And why would that be?
It has also been a month since I had found out the truth about... well, who sxytuxboi was.
A month since the growing awkwardness between Pretty Boy and myself appeared and sustained
itself while we practiced, feeding off that oh-so-memorable event of that fateful day. The day he
decided to let me know the truth... and how I refused to believe him.
Darien "Pretty Boy" Chiba. The man claiming he was my online boyfriend.
"My online lover."
Funny how that sounds. I can only cringe at the mellow dramatic word "lover."
The one I had shared most of myself with and the one who... shared the same dreams that I had
nightly.
And this came from Pretty Boy...
I figured back then that if I had opened myself up to someone (Besides Mina) it wouldn't do any
harm. But little did I know that this would be an understatement... "do no harm". Yeah right.
Now this guy has me wondering. I'm starting to have doubts now about the whole situation... in
general. Did he really do that to hurt me? And... Would you blame me? I mean what person
wouldn't come to a 'common sense' conclusion that someone like him would play a practical
joke on me?
I had also wondered what his motive could be as to why he would do that in the first place...
And all I could come up with is that he's just a natural jerk.
That in itself gave him the licence to make me believe he WOULD do such a thing to me.
"So did anyone actually do the extra credit assignment?" I had caught the last few lines Mrs.
Haruna announced, drawing me out of my thoughts. I widened my eyes when I realized that I
absentmindedly stared at Pretty Boy throughout my whole hazed-in-thought process.
I shifted my eyes quickly, alternating glances between Mr. Haruna's face and the simple round
clock on the class room wall that I have gotten quite accustomed to stare at for the past month.
Well obviously, to have him not notice me doing... that infamously rude 'staring' act.
But who am I kidding? Of course he had noticed. Like he always had.
Like a pathetic chain reaction of who starts the staring game, he'd make the first move then I'd
do the same. Back and forth, back and forth. Sort of exchanging silent insults. Only I'd be the
one throwing the vicious glares... And he... He'd give me his...
His searing gazes. The kinds of looks that would make someone want to shrink into an
impossible microscopic size then run underneath the biggest slab of rock you could find. The
kinds of stares that make the hairs of someone's arms stand erect and give mild chills or shocks
that would run up and down your spine. And yes, the kinds that makes the heart beat
continuously like it's about to explode right off a human chest.... and give someone an ulcer.
He did this.
And he did this to me without any trouble.
If anything, it was unmistakable that he knew he had this kind of power...
Over me.
Did he?
His two dark entrancing blue eyes; Oh how I'd like to poke them out. I knew he was looking at
me. ALWAYS looking at me. His eyes never leaving my form and showing no sign of stopping
the ludicrous act. He sure as hell wasn't embarrassed about it either.
You'd think that if you return the same action of staring back at them, they'd take the hint to quit
it.
Oh but no.
And just when I think he isn't looking (which would hardly be ever), my own curious eyes would
wonder on their own (off handedly leading their way to his direction) and just like that, he'd still
be staring... And again I would make myself check the time... look at the teacher... look at my
desk... pick up whatever work I had on my desk and pretend to analyze it just to avoid his stares,
which made things more obvious. And this became a cycle.
A daily routine.
Yes. I have no choice but to call this situation awkward. I mean who wouldn't?
And talk about awkwardness in general. Pretty Boy was the pinnacle of it.
Well he can't take all the blame...
the both of us were.
And if this wasn't enough, our dance rehearsals were no better.
Me, obviously not excited to dance with him for the past month, would try to dance at a distance
from him. The distance between us - let's just say another person could fit in between. And he...
he didn't seem to care. He would still be staring. Right AT me. STILL.
Like a freak.
Like a person who just had eye problems and refused to be cured by anything.
Or I could be imagining things...
Mrs. Haruna, at each chance she saw the both of us dance in this strange way, would always
force us closer together.
Great... It's as if she could read the both of our minds.
Convenient.
To be forced into touching his hand - to feel his gentle grip - to have his body so close to mine...
to be forced into inhaling his sent; cologne torturing me - taunting me - to actually want to get
closer to him... Each time we danced, my heart would leap every five seconds. I'd hold my
breath when he'd pull me close (at Mrs. Haruna's cue of course) and my self never wanting to
look into his face... It's too much for me.. (scratch that) it's UNBEARABLE.
"Yes. Mrs. Haruna, I did the extra credit assignment. Here's my paper." I heard myself say, my
right hand absent mindedly raising on it's own.
"Excellent Ms. Tsukino. I'm glad you're one who took advantage of this extra credit assignment.
But please, hold on to it."
I rose both my eyebrows.
"Um, I don't want to question you Mrs. Haruna but... You don't want my work?"
"Oh... Did I not inform you all that all students who did the assignment must recite it in front of
class?" She looked at the class expectantly, then looked at me with a smile. "It's part of the
essence poetry. To recite it with emotion. That is why I told you to keep the paper unless you
memorized your own work."
"Err.. Uh... No." I answered mildly alarmed. "I didn't memories it, let alone know that we were
suppose to recite this."
"Well then... You should be more attentive in class next time."
'Oh yeah. Sure. Blame me.' I mentally rolled my eyes. 'Why don't you tell that to Pretty Boy so
he could stop the whole staring like an asinine routine.'
Crap. I hated giving speeches, let alone having to be the focus of an audience. I just hoped I
didn't have to do this now.
"So without further adieu, will you please stand up and read your poem to the class." Mrs.
Haruna smiled again, as if she read my mind and answered it, but this time, her friendly facial
gesture seemed to turn into an evil grin. Ah... teachers enjoyed torturing students... well it's a
theory of mine anyway.
Hesitantly, I stood up, my hand clenched to the paper. The process of standing up in itself,
seemed like an eternity. I thought I felt my knees shake in anticipation... I hope it didn't look
obvious. God, how was I going to do this?
'Just read it. That's all there is to it.' I willed myself to raise the paper and to concentrate on my
own chicken scratch of what I call 'hand writing'. 'This is such a piece of man whore... You can
do this. Get it over with.'
"I, umm. Ahhum..." I cleared my throat, and scanned around the room once. My eyes had once
again landed onto Pretty Boy's face. "Uh..."
All the functions of what it took for my brain to go into the "thinking process" seemed to have
shut down. Once again, my staring at Pretty Boy had confirmed that he was staring at me again
and this time... right into my eyes.
I felt my breath hitch in my throat.
"I um..." I subconsciously mumbled, as I continued to stare at Pretty Boy with a mix of awe and
nervousness. "Err..."
"Ms. Tsukino, if you will." Mrs. Haruna noticed my sudden verbal inhibition and maybe, my
lack of awareness at anything for that matter. "Can you please start off by giving us the title of
your work?"
'WHY IS HE STILL STARING?'
"Oh uh..." I clumsily uttered, blinking back to reality. I painfully ripped my gaze from Pretty
Boy and drew them to the paper at hand. "It's called... 'The Eyes.'"
"The Eyes? Hmm interesting..." I heard Mrs. Haruna say off handedly.
Hearing her repeat the simple title, my breath hitched once again as I was brought into full
realization.
Well let me explain a little something about my poem. Remember when I said I didn't have any
inspiration for the assignment? In desperation, I... may have used Pretty Boy's actions for the
basis of my poem.
Okay, in simpler terms, the poem is primarily about what Pretty Boy had been doing lately... and
what I've been doing lately.
And therein lies the problem... I didn't know I had to read it, let alone read it to the entire class...
Including Darien Chiba himself.
'Oh god this is really BAD timing.' With that last thought in mind, I closed my eyes and inhaled.
And so began the excruciating poetry recital.
"I... see you across the room.... Your eyes shift slowly... This is the sign of my doom." I paused
for a second and snuck a gaze at Pretty Boy. Apparently, the action wasn't obvious to him, but
he shifted in his seat uncomfortably at what he heard.
I began again,"This tells me, I am too lonely..."
"...They say you talk like the Spring. Whisper sweet words in to the breeze. Your speech, they
say, it is satisfying. They say you let no girl's heart at ease."
'Jerk.' I inwardly groaned at that line.
"Lover sweet, lover dear. You tell the maidens, have no fear. You say the prince they long for, Is
here..." I thought that sounded sarcastic. Judging from Pretty Boy's action of shifting in his seat
uncomfortably again, from the corner of my eye, it indeed confirmed that it sounded sarcastic.
"...Now you stare back at me. I am like the gullible maidens... But unlike them... I have fear."
I paused for a moment, this time much longer than I expected. My eyes lifted up and this time, to
meet his gaze... all over again.
My heart leaped at the sudden eye contact.
The paper in my hand was left un-noticed now as I continued, "...They say you are the man of
men. Your talk, I cannot hear..."
'Oh and this is because I refuse to listen to whatever you tried to explain to me.' A thought
commented once again referring to the last line.
"...They reach into my twin windows.... They reach without hands. You have now crossed new
territory of land.... I don't understand how you can DO THIS. How you CAN."
He narrowed his eyes to me at the emphasis of the recent line.
So did I.
"So let not me bare it. Let me shut my eyes. I can not and will not stand it-- what I see in your
eyes. They are all lies..."
"You make me stumble. You make me fall. I will make a sturdy wall... And I refuse to make it
crumble... in your presence."
An awkward silence followed, as my eyes continued to be magnetized by his own.
There was something in his eyes now... was it anger?
'Yeah what a way to make things more obvious.' I didn't know whether that thought was
directed more towards him, for his gazes, or me, for reciting the god forsaken poem in front of
everyone in the first place.
"Well, Ms. Tsukino, I must admit that is quite an interesting poem you've created." Mrs. Haruna
noticed the awkward silence that lasted more than expected, and the class reluctantly began to
clap at the end of my poetic recital. "It is as if you are specifically speaking to someone in this
room."
'You got that right.' A thought crossed my mind.
"...Huh what?" My head darted back to her direction, desperately ripping my gaze from Pretty
Boy, aware that I had continued to stay in contact with his eyes.
"You had a very good tone when you recited that poem. A lot of emotion. Your extra credit is
earned." She asked for more volunteers. "Any others?"
Before I could sit down in relief, his voice had taken the chance away.
Yes. HIS voice.
"I... have one Mrs. Haruna."
I immediately tensed before finally sitting myself down cautiously, slightly feeling the color of
my cheeks drain as I did this.
Little did I know that the situation was about to get worse.
Alarmed, my eyes began to scan my poem, still at hand back and forth, suddenly pretending to
look very interested in it.
'W-What's he got to be poetic about?' My brows furrowed in nervous inquiry.
"Very well Mr. Chiba." Mrs. Haruna interjected my last thought with that same 'evil' grin that
she gave me earlier on before. "You can start off by giving us your title."
"Sure. It's called..." As he stood up, I could feel his eyes focusing on me. "It's called, 'The
Attempt to Give An Explanation.'"
I cringed at hearing the title, also gaining the urge to widen my eyes.
'WHAT the HELL?'
I swallowed another airy lump in my throat.
"...We had dreamed of each other every night." He inserted a small pause as if to give emphasis.
I darted my eyes to him at this. Unfortunately, he caught the act and permanently locked his eyes
with mine.
And so began the staring war all over again.
"...We had talked to each other under different circumstances."
My heart began to pound louder, raising in tempo, for each word that he uttered.
"It was less than perfect, and it may not have seemed right... So how can you not see the
metaphoric light?"
I became aware that he no longer looked at his paper for reference. He was now reciting, as if he
was just talking to me. ONLY ME.
It was now my turn to shift uncomfortably in my seat.
"The light that is rationality.... Rationality in words and in conversation.... And in truth through
EXPLANATION."
Great. He just HAD to emphasize the last word.
"... But you seem to refuse reality." He suddenly lowered his voice, causing me to shiver. I felt
like squirming.
And I think I slightly did.
"...The reality that I told you... And that this happened... Yes. But did you listen? No... And I had
confessed... I had to show."
Wow so he was indirectly complaining about me not believing what he had to say. I mentally
rolled my eyes at what he said.
"But yet again you refuse... You ignored it...." He uttered as if he read my recent sarcastic
thought. "So what was this all for?"
"I tried to answer that question. But you had shut the door... The door to opportunity...Was it a
coincidence? Or was it something else?"
'Is he presenting a theory here?' I questioned subconsciously, referring to his last line.
"I need to know the evidence... To know it for ourselves."
That line alone struck me down like a ton of bricks.
"... So please...Why don't we talk? Let's be civil about this." He suddenly recited pleadingly.
"Let opportunity knock... And don't let yourself miss..."
'Miss what?' Another thought transpired in my train of thinking.
"... Miss out of what could be... Maybe something good..." His voice became even more soft. I
shivered again at his action.
"...Something good for our reality."
'Something good for OUR reality? What the HELL does he mean by THAT?' I mentally huffed
when the class began clapping again in boredom, signaling the end of his recital. I broke our
gaze off as I slightly cocked my head to one side as if to ponder. 'Obviously, the jerk wrote the
poem about us... why didn't I see it coming?'
"Well earned credit Mr. Chiba." Mrs. Haruna commented again when the 'enthusiastic' class
died down the applause. "If I didn't know any better, I would say that your poem was written to
counter Ms. Tsukino's."
My eyes widened and I immediately blushed. Did Mrs. Haruna think the both of us were that
obvious?
"No shyt." before I could stop myself from saying the profanity, Mrs. Haruna glared at me and
paused... so did the rest of the class.
"WHAT was that Mrs. Tsukino?"
'Great JUST great!'
"Err.. Uh... I meant to say... That's it?" I redden even more. "Yeah... That's it? That's all Mr.
Chiba wrote...?"
Mrs. Haruna only raised a skeptical eyebrow at me, but somehow bought my lame attempt at
covering up my 'bad word.' She then continued while looking at her wrist watch, "Well, it looks
like we'll have to stop here for today. We'll continue on with the extra credit assignment
tomorrow if we have time toward the end of the class-"
And just like that the bell rang, cutting off the rest of Mrs. Haruna's announcement, and might I
add, VERY sweetly, knowing that I needed to leave the room right away.
God that was the most humiliating experience of my life.
Was it?
-------------
"Serena?"
"Hmm?"
"...What's wrong?"
I looked at Mina wearily, lifting my gaze from the newest edition of "Sailor V" comics, forcing a
smile on my lips. Mina and I were in her room, laying down lazily, three hours before the last
rehearsal for the waltz would ensue. "What do you mean?"
"You know... What's up with you?" She gave me a concerned stare now, showing no signs of her
letting the subject go. "You know I'm not stupid, chick. For the past month you haven't been
acting like yourself lately."
"And how, may I ask, am I not acting like myself?"
"You've been more... quiet... Not to mention," She continued seriously, as she sat up from her
laying position on her bed. "You've been acting kind of weird around... Darien... during the
rehearsals I mean."
'Am I an open book or something?' I thought in mock defeat, realizing Mina was right on target.
I closed my eyes and sighed. Having Mina mention his name, alone, brought back those
awkward feelings again... not to mention the embarrassment I felt from class today.
Unknowingly, I had frowned while I tried to come up with an excuse.
"And... I have a feeling you're hiding something from me... something that's been bothering you
for a month." She added, a hint of hurt in her voice. "Come on. You know you can tell me
anything... So this is the time to do so."
Deciding it was pointless to lie to Mina now, knowing she had caught on the fact, that whatever I
had been feeling was directly connected to Pretty Boy, I began to admit sadly, "Yeah. You're
right. Something happened to me about a month ago..."
I paused comfortably, looking at Mina tentatively for a signal to continue. She then gave me a
reassuring nod.
I sighed once more, "Yeah... and... you're also right. It did have something to do with...
Darien..."
"Let me guess. You had another fight with him?" She gave me a questioning look. "I... also
noticed he's been acting weird himself."
"Oh really?" I raised a lone eye brow at her but then continued. "Well in that case... anyway... do
you remember my cyber boyfriend?"
She gave me a smirk. "How can I forget?"
"Well, you see... He's... He is..." Now I gave her another hesitant look, realizing that this was the
first time I was going to share with someone the events that took place since that fateful day, let
alone telling her what events that day triggered my sudden emotional change. I began playing
with the edges of the "Sailor V" comic book. "He's Darien."
Although my eyes had averted to the comic book in front of me, I could tell Mina's mouth had
hung, trying to absorb what has been said. A short silence followed, as I continued to look at the
comic book worriedly.
"You're cyber boyfriend is... Darien? As in Darien Chiba, the one you've been having verbal
judo with avidly?" Her surprise was obvious in her tone. "H-how'd this happen?"
I rolled my eyes now, fully aware that I was now going to tell her EVERYTHING... Details to
further help her connect the concept of Darien being my EX cyber boyfriend.
"Okay. You know about the dreams I've been having right? And of course you know how the
online relationship ties in with the whole dream thing..." I now closed the cover of the comic
book and pushed it aside. I rolled over from my 'laying on tummy position' to have myself face
the ceiling. Mina continued to eye me curiously. "Well... Apparently, Darien was him all this
time... without me knowing."
"Well... then that's great! It's a small world after all and who would've thought that it could be
Darien?" She smiled brightly now, lying back down again on the bed.
"No it's not." was my sudden annoyed response.
"No it's not what?" Mina obviously oblivious in the situation that it seemed 'great'. She failed to
understand the negative part of the story.
"You don't get it... I didn't know it was him..."
"And?"
"Mina, isn't it obvious? He played a practical joke on me." I sighed in frustration, not because I
couldn't get Mina to understand me, but because the memory of what Pretty Boy had done
brought back the stinging feeling in my heart. He had hurt me... multiple times. "Mina, he lied to
me."
"He lied to you? How was that possible?"
"He... didn't tell me it was him.. From the beginning!"
"But, Serena. If I remember correctly," She paused for a moment then continued, "The two of
you had ground rules. You guys couldn't tell each other your identities. Right?"
"Yeah but-"
"Are you saying, that Darien Chiba might have known it was you all along and didn't bother to
tell you?"
"Yes-"
"So that makes him the bad guy then? How'd you know he knew your identity before you even
met? Did you bother asking him if he honestly knew it was you?"
That last question hit me like a train without mercy.
Was it possible that me, Serena Tsukino, became stubborn and didn't bother to not have a
narrow mind about the situation?
"I... NO. I didn't give him..."Guilt was clearly heard in my tone. "No. I didn't give him the time
of day to explain himself..."
"Well, why didn't you?" The question, simple in its nature, had somehow managed to give me
an epiphany. And it struck me, that I didn't know a straight answer to that question.
"I..." I struggled to put together a response. How was I going to put this? "Mina, you just don't
understand. This is Darien Chiba we're talking about here."
"Well then explain." She said, mildly condescending. "What makes Darien Chiba not worth
listening to for an explanation?"
Her last question immediately triggered a chain of memories to flash through my mind.
The moments of my freshman year... how he rejected me... The way he acted around me for the
last four years, including this one. He was a shallow jerk... and I... I didn't want to be noticed in
his life. EVER.
He wasn't worth the time of day to understand because...
He simply had hurt me.
I subconsciously reached up my face to wipe a tear away and sniffled as the memories continued
to race in my mind.
"Serena?" Mina sat up again, and hovered over me. "Serena? What's wrong? Was it something I
said?"
I snapped back to reality, suddenly sitting up on the bed. I can't believe I just shed a tear.
"It's... It's nothing Mina." I tried to wave off the expression of concern on her face. However,
she continued to glue her worried gaze on me.
"Serena... what did I just tell you? You can tell me anything! Come on! Something's obviously
wrong here." She frowned at me and shook her head. "And this- Your mood is definitely
connected to Darien Chiba."
With that, I turned around to the edge of her bed, legs dangling off a few inches from the floor. I
sat silently for a moment, shoulders hunched, and away from Mina. And this time, there wasn't
anything to stop me from what I was about to say to her.
"Mina... What I'm about to tell you... It's something I'm very ashamed of. It's something I never
told anyone before..."I trailed off, sensing Mina coming over to sit next to me. She put a friendly
arm around my shoulder, and I found myself leaning into her half embrace. "And no, I'm not
doing drugs or having sex."
"I bet." Mina giggled at my attempt to lighten the brooding mood that I had unknowingly
applied in the air.
"Three years ago, the year before I met you, freshman year..." I sadly began, noticing my eyes
were becoming to brim with tears. "I know this will sound stupid even though I know this was a
long time ago but, Darien hurt me that year."
"How so?"
"Mina... I had a crush on him... Like every other dumb girl that fell into his trap." I paused to
take a breather. Satisfied from inhaling, I continued, "And... because I liked him so much, I
wrote him a letter... of my affections... Or in simpler terms, I wrote him a love letter."
"Aww that's so cute-"
"No Mina, let me finish." I inhaled another breath. I was not going to let Mina make this sound
like a sappy but-failed-miserably love story, although it truly was. "Yes... I wrote him a love
letter and... he recieved it."
"What was his reaction?"
At that, I closed my eyes to remember...
"I remember giving him the love letter and of course being naively excited, hoped for the best.
The next day, I was walking down the halls and just as I was about to round a corner, I over
heard Darien talk to his... friends. He– He was talking about me. And the way he was talking
about me... It didn't sound good... It didn't sound so good that I realized what I did was a
mistake. A HUGE childish mistake."
"Serena... Telling someone how you feel isn't always a mistake-"
"Oh Mina, it truly was." I opened my eyes again, trying to blink back tears that were threatening
to fall. "I over heard him say... That... He didn't like me. He rejected me."
I sighed again in frustration, wiping the trail of tears off my cheeks.
"Serena... I hate to break this to you but... That was a long time ago. Just like you said. And... He
was a kid back then..." Mina lightly rubbed my back to comfort me. "He probably didn't know
any better."
"I know Mina. I know that." I shook my head slowly, trying to gather my thoughts again. "But
since then, I just... made myself believe Darien will never stop being a jerk. He hurt me so many
times... It's just not worth it..."
"I'm just wondering though, Serena... Did you really make sure Darien knew you liked him? Did
he even know you heard what he said about you three years ago?" She looked at me slightly
remorseful. "I mean, it could totally be a huge misunderstanding."
"No. I'm positive... I'm sure he knew, but... he just probably forgot now." I nodded in
conformation. "And I'm really glad that he doesn't remember either... It would be incredibly
stupid if he found out the reason im so upset with him is because of that little incident. In fact it
might even worsen the situation."
"But Serena... If anything, I think telling him how you truly feel, including how you felt in the
past, might help resolve your issue. Quite frankly, I think Darien has no clue why you're so
upset, well, besides him thinking it's just about the online relationship thing."
I looked at her for a moment then shook my head.
"Mina, although your reasons sound plausible, I can't get rid of the possibilities that he may
have had wrong intentions for me... with the online situation. He may have done it as a joke in
retaliation. I probably sucked so much as a partner for him."
Mina chuckled but quickly stopped seeing that I was serious.
"Serena... I don't think Darien did that out of cruelty. Seriously, it doesn't sound like him to do
that."
"How do you know that?"
All of a sudden, as if receiving an epiphany herself, Mina looked at me wide eyed with a smile.
"Serena... Do you... still like him?"
I slightly opened my mouth in shock.
"What the HELL? Excuse me?" I frowned in disgust. "You're kidding me right?"
"Oh, don't deny it Serena! Don't you dare deny it! You wouldn't be so uptight about Darien if
you still haven't let go of those feelings for him." She beamed at me with a sly wink. "You even
admitted yourself that the situation a long time ago doesn't seem important. But it still is!"
"And your point being?"
"You still have feelings for him, my dear. As much as you want to deny it, he's still rather
important to you."
I paled at her comment.
"Just because I was hurt in the past by HIM, doesn't mean I still like him, Mina. I can't even see
any logic in that!" I huffed.
"And it also explains why you're always so receptively eager to argue with him. I mean, in some
morbid way, your showing your affections for him!"
I gave her one look as if she said the most idiotic thing possible.
"Mina, no. Just drop it already."
"Okay, whatever Serena. But in any case," She decided to let go of that subject but continued
with another. "I think you should talk with Darien and clear things up with him. Let him know
how you're feeling because... well... The dancing that you guys are doing is putting a negative
impact in the routine. You know, it's putting a damper on things. And I thought your dancing
was just really bad... but apparently there was a reason for it."
I rolled my eyes. "So that's how you noticed things weren't dandy between me and that jerk."
"Uh yeah..."
"Great... just great." I gave her a shrug. "Well, if Darien wants to make amends with me, I'm not
making the first move. He is."
"God, Serena. You've got pride the size of Texas." She laughed at me, for once bringing me to a
sincere huge grin. "I swear, you really want to make that guy suffer a little."
"Your point being?"
And we just laughed.
( ^_^) (^.~) ( '_') (~.^) ( O_O) (^.^) ( O.o) (~.~)
"So... It's still bothering you isn't it?"
I groaned.
"What's bothering me?" I was at the Crown Arcade again, trying to get my afternoon caffeine
fix.
"I don't know. You tell me." Andrew smirked. "And get your mind out of the gutter. Focus."
"Screw it." I rolled my eyes. "I'm not going to waste my time trying to make that girl
understand. I failed for the last time."
"Oh really? What was you recent attempt to fail?"
"Read her a poem this morning, in class. It sounded like horse manure." I took my first sip out of
the steaming cup of coffee in front of me. "I'm telling you, every method is failing me."
"Except for one." Andrew wiped the counter again as usual. "And you know perfectly well what
that method is."
"Drugging her?" I sarcastically remarked, pulling out this morning's news paper from my
backpack. I didn't have time to indulge myself in the latest issue of 'Juuban City Enquirer' as I
normally did every morning, since I passed up the opportunity, so to create that perfectly useless
poetic pile of crap. "Right now, that seems really enticing."
"Dumb ass. What a way to woo a girl." Andrew shook his head at me. "Be smart. You pull that
stunt and you'll instantly get yourself a restraining order from her. By the way, that still wont
lesson your problems."
"Boohoo. You made a point." I chuckled. "But, knowing where I think this conversation is
going, I think I've already established the notion that the 'confrontation' method isn't exactly a
good idea. It bit me in the ass and really... do you want to put me through that again?"
"Well yes."
"And I thought you were a friend of mine." I snidely remarked. "And may I ask why I deserve
the honor of suffering with that well-worn-out method again?"
"Because... Honesty is the best policy." He smirked again. "Besides, threes a charm."
"Shut up with your stupid metaphoric sayings." I lifted the cup of coffee again to my lips, now
eyeing the news paper intently. "What I don't need are riddles. What I DO need, however, is
practical and sensible advice. So shove your proverbs."
"My, my... So Serena really IS getting to you." I cringed, remembering that line that I had used
on him about Mina before. What goes around, apparently in my case, came around. And just
great. Andrew's cliche sayings were rubbing off on me. "She's really getting to you. Just admit
it. You've been smitten."
"So what? Fine. I am admitting to it. And to speak in your philosophical language..." I gave him
a smug look. "I'm drawn to her like the proverbial moth to a flame."
"You mean to say..." He leaned on the counter with an all knowing grin. "You like her even
though she's a feisty one. You're drawn to her because you think you may not handle her."
"Bastard. You think you know everything." I playfully frowned in disgust. "Don't quit your day
job and help me out already."
"Fine. What do you want me to say?"
"Tell me why she's so stubborn." I lowered the news paper and gave him a grin. "Come on
Einstein. Why won't she listen to me every time I want to talk to her?"
He stared off into some dark corner of the room to ponder for a moment. He then gave another
smirk.
"It's probably your style, man. You're approach is lacking at the romantic-assertive side." Came
an unsuspecting answer. "And you probably say the wrong things."
"Oh. So the last time I tried talking to her with the whole rose and letter bit was TOTALLY
unconventional." I cynically replied, taking another hearty sip of coffee.
"Well for one thing, haven't you considered that the information that she was about to receive
would be quite, I don't know, SURPRISING?" He widen his eyes sarcastically before plastering
a smirk. "And don't force a girl to stay and listen if she wants to leave... It's not like I didn't see
what went on outside from the inside this building."
He gestured toward the wide glass windows across the room and I sighed realizing that, besides
Andrew, maybe half the block saw the dramatic scene as well.
"God, didn't anyone write a handbook about these things?" I groaned, finally taking the last sip
of coffee. "Oh, and let me know if they do."
"You, my good man, are an insult to men like us." He shook his head again, refilling my cup of
coffee. "Once again, don't give up with confronting her. Watch what you say, and be aware of
what she might want to say as well."
"You sound like you're telling me how to have a decent conversation."
"Idiot. It's not JUST a conversation. It's a conversation with the woman you are deeply in love
with."
I widened my eyes.
"Excuse me but, I admitted to liking her. LOVE is a completely different matter."
"Yes but... attraction to the right person always leads to LOVE."
"Sure thing, Andrew. Sure thing." I began to gather my things, wanting to get home. The final
waltzing rehearsal was about to start in three ours. I on the other hand decided to use the
remaining time wisely. "Oh yeah. Here's three bucks for your ridiculous thoughts."
"Darien, if I may correct you, the proper saying is 'A penny for your thoughts.'" He lightly
smacked his hand onto the bills and wiped them off the table into the pocket of his apron. "By
the way, you suck at tipping."
---------
When I finally got home, I dejectedly sat down on my couch and sighed with annoyance.
Why was she making this so hard on me?
Yes. Since the day I tried to tell her the truth, I've been trying to come up with alternate ways to
get her to listen to me... but each time I tried, I always failed miserably. Not giving me the
chance to hear me out, Serena always managed to give me that 'stay away from me' vibe. Was I
that repulsive?
'Why is she so difficult?'
With that thought crossing my mind, my eyes traveled to the coffee table in front of me. There,
peaceful in its spot, stood the infamous 'cool' journal that I had once told Serena. Yes.
"Serena..." How that name slides nicely off my tongue.
"Idiot." I immediately shook my head at my subconscious monologue. "No wonder she doesn't
want to talk to me, seeing that I'm utterly out of my mind."
I grabbed the journal from the table, staring at the cover for all it's beauty.
The deep red rose, embedded in front of the cover-- It reminded me of... her?
And once again the wheels of my mind began to turn.
Serena "Meat ball head" Tsukino... Was Lone1iGrl. Thus, she would also be the one having
dreams about a guy, coincidently enough, for the past year just like I have.
JUST LIKE I HAVE.
And that meant one thing. She was also the girl in my dreams.
That could also explain why, the day of the masquerade ball, I thought I knew I found her. And
had felt her... And almost... had tasted her.
Her sent– she also smelled like a rose... Why didn't I ever noticed it then?
I had already opened the journal, seeming to have done it for the billionth time, memorizing
each line. I read over one part how she thought I was sexy.
Sexy. Me. Darien Mamoru Chiba.
I smirked as I realize that maybe the 'Chiba' charm also applied in the dreams, noting that
almost all of the gestures I've done to my dream girl were all 'gentle-man' like.
And Serena Tsukino liked it.
I flinched.
'You sick idiot. Here you are thinking these pathetic thoughts while the girl obviously is
disgusted by you.' I mentally kicked myself, running a hand through my hair.
She obviously had given the journal to me because she just wasn't interested.
And she thought It was a joke.
'But then, why would she think that?'
What made her believe I could do something so pathetic as that?
Just like that I snapped the journal shut.
'Maybe I should give up.' A thought silently crept in my mind.
Yes. Just give up. It's just not worth it...
Slowly my eyelids became heavy and somehow, without me knowing, I fell asleep.
Against my will maybe?
Maybe not.
( ^_^) (^.~) ( '_') (~.^) ( O_O) (^.^) ( O.o) (~.~)
Brown but huge elegant doors slowly opened for her.
Once inside, she marveled at the beauty that lay before her. Everything seemed much clearer
now. Her sight no longer seemed hazy. Things were just crystal clear, just like the chandeliers
that hung all around the enormous but gorgeous room.
Inside, she found herself stepping in hesitantly, but still noticed the extravagant decor that lay all
around. Round tables, covered in white cloth and with expensive china and silver wear,
graciously stood scattered on a marble floor. Chairs, brown as oak wood, accented the tables
with honor. And all around the room, paintings of the renaissance era hung lavishly to complete
the look of a true haven.
She saw people everywhere. Talking and moving amongst themselves. They all looked like they
had a good time, not to mention they were dress elegantly. Of course, they themselves were not
as clear as the surroundings. In fact, all their faces were a blur.
Except for one.
The gorgeous but anonymous man that stood alone near the balcony entrance, far across in the
room, was as clear as daylight. In fact, he seemed to have stood out like a sore thumb from the
rest of the crowed. His tall frame leaned against the edge of the balcony door way, his back
facing her, as if he was waiting for someone.
And she instantly knew who it was that he was waiting for.
He turned around slowly, his position changing to stand and face her, as if he sensed she was
nearing him.
She really was nearing him, although she hadn't notice her feet did the job of moving her across
the huge marble dance floor.
Finally, reaching the other side of the room, she merely acknowledged his presence with a sad
smile. She had felt this without the intention of doing the act.
'How strange...' the girl thought.
Her small hands grazed the top of the huge balcony's marble railings now, slowing putting both
the palms of her hands at a rest. She was now focusing at the night sky, the moon seeming to
become brighter and fuller for each time that she blinked.
'Not a cloud in sight.' She thought.
The man, however, unnoticed by the girl now, managed to close the tall brown doors behind him
and walked up to the girl's petit but gorgeous form. As if by natural impulse, he slowly placed
two hands around her small waist, making the girl gasp in surprise and stiffen in her place.
Without another word, the man removed one of his gloved hands from its place and gently
cupped the girls chin to make her turn around... slowly.
Dark blue orbs clashed with light blue ones. Their gaze instantly locked without an effort.
As if eternity slipped through their fingers tips, they inched closer and closer, closing the gap
between them for an obvious act of affection.
Eyes slowly closing behind white masks, both lips parted slightly and a gentle kiss ensued.
Instantly, both their eyes flew open as their visions finally melded into one.
Flash.
The young man saw, in third person view, a young blond highschool girl look admiringly at a
younger version of himself... And to him, it was unmistakable that he was once that youth. She
smiled weakly at the young boy in the school's crowded hallway, but abruptly turned around and
disappeared shyly.
The young woman saw, in her third person view, the same young man look attentively at a pink
love letter in his hand. He seemed to look at it with a goofy grin on his face, as if he was happy
to receive the letter. She then saw the young boy place it in his jean denim jacket pocket, near
his heart.
Another imaged flashed in the young man's eyes, now seeing the same teenage girl walk near
the school's hallway corner. He saw her smile widely while she halted her form before rounding
the corner. However, the same beautiful smile that graced her face suddenly faltered in his eyes,
and he saw her eyes begin to gloss over... with tears. He then saw her shake her head, in what
seemed to be, disbelief and began to run the opposite way from the corner.
A flash of another image dominated the young woman's view, seeing the teenage boy point to a
picture of another young girl, one that was not the younger version of herself, and laughed
mockingly at it with all his other adolescent friends. Surprisingly, the location of the boy seemed
familiar as it dawned on the young woman that it was the corner of the highschool's hallway.
She even saw the glint of golden hair flick at the opposite side of that corner.
Flash.
The young man saw this time, the teenage girl grew older and had become even much more
beautiful. He saw her reluctantly walk by a slightly older teenage version of himself, her face
showing in mild disgust and with pain, clearly written in her sad eyes.
Flash.
The young woman saw through her eyes, the same teenage boy only much older. He was sitting
sadly on a gray leather couch from what looked like the inside an apartment. He stared silently at
the same pink love letter that looked much more worn out. She saw that he had then tucked the
letter away in a brown shoe box.
The flashes became much more intense as both the young man and woman saw familiar images
only in different perspectives. The young man, in his part, saw only images of the young blond
teenager and events that caused her to suddenly change in character. For the young woman, in
her part, saw only images of the teenage boy and the events that lead to his ultimate search for
his happiness... for the perfect girl that would be his, seeing him date girl after girl but never
truly seeing him enjoy it.
The young man and woman finally pulled apart from the kiss, both obviously shocked at what
just happened.
He backed away from her, taking one step back, but eyed her curiously. Seeing this, she too also
stepped back in surprise, a small hand going up to her lips.
They stared at each other as if it seemed like forever, looking at one another contentedly.
And as if by another impulse, the couple inched closer to one another again, and this time each
reached out a hesitant arm to a face.
And it was time.
They new it was time to see.
Finally, each held the edges of the other person's mask, and slowly removed it.
A mixture of shock and awe was written clearly on both their faces.
-------------
"Serena."
"Hm."
"Serena?"
"Hmm... It can't be you... It just can't be you."
"Serena. Please wake up. You're dreaming."
"No... Darien..."
"Serena! Wake up damn it!"
"No, Darien..." I felt an arm lightly shake my shoulder. "IT JUST CAN'T BE YOU!"
I bolted up right, gasping for air.
My eyes had no trouble widening with shock.
Closing my eyes for a few seconds, I focused on bringing back my breathing to a steady rhythm
when I noticed I was hyperventilating quite a bit.
My heart continued to pound like wild drums, however.
"Serena?" I heard a gentle voice ask in concern. "Serena... Did you have, you know, one of those
dreams again?"
I opened my eyes lazily and turned to Mina's direction, seeing that she was now sitting next to
me.
"Yeah... I did." I reluctantly answered. "It's... It's nothing."
"Serena... come on. It obviously wasn't a pleasant dream." I saw concern in her eyes. "Plus, you
were mumbling something. Like... a name."
I looked at her with mild horror, instantly reddening when I realized what she was talking about.
I frowned.
I couldn't believe what I just saw.
The dream guy... really was... Darien.
"Serena?"
"Huh?" Mina interrupted my thoughts. "Oh... What name was I... saying?"
"I bet you wouldn't be surprised but," Mina shook her head a little and gave me a sly smirk.
"You were moaning Darien's name."
I rolled my eyes. She only laughed.
"I don't think I 'moaned' his name per say." I stated with mock disgust. "Merely talking mumbo
jumbo in my sleep."
"Sure you were." She rose an eye brow at me. "So what really happened in your dream?"
I paused for a moment, closing my eyes again. Images of my dream flashed through my mind.
"Well, you know about how my supposed dream guy and I wear masks right?" I started to say
without opening my eyes. "They're kind of like the masks that we wore in Amy's masquerade
ball."
"Yeah. I remember."
"Well, guess what." I opened my eyes now and faced her with a slight frown. "No more masks in
this dream."
Mina suddenly widen her eyes.
"Oh my god. You mean to say you've been dreaming about, you know, 'him' for this long?!"
Mina brought a bewildered hand to her 'O' shaped mouth. "Oh my-"
"Yes. The concluding dream showed me it was... Darien." I replied, almost whispering too
softly. "I just can't... believe it."
Mina noticed the change in my tone.
"Serena? May I ask?" She put a gentle hand on my slumped shoulder. "Why were you saying, 'It
just can't be you?'"
I looked at her silently, almost ashamed.
"I, I did?" I lied, giving fake astonishment. "Oh well- I don't know."
A long silence followed as I continued to wonder about what exactly happened in my dream.
'He kissed me and... there were flashes of... memories. They weren't mine.'
"Oh." Mina broke the silence, halting anymore thoughts about the dream. "Yeah, um... anyway...
We still got another hour to kill before practice starts. Do you want something to eat? I'll bring
you something from down stairs."
"Um, sure. Sounds great but, I think I'll go down with you."
-------------
"You slept an hour ago didn't you." The first sentence he uttered toward me since that fateful
day.
He silently twirled me once as I tried to look away. Anything to escape his gaze.
"No." came my only response.
"I know you drempt again." He pulled me close to his body, my back tingling at the site of where
his hand supported me. I still managed not to face him. "Just admit it."
"Back off Chiba." I growled in a strong condescending tone. "What the hell are you trying to
prove anyway?"
"You think I'm trying to prove something?"
I narrowed my eyes away from him, the both of us still continuing to move in rhythmic circles.
"Explain this morning's drama." I dryly muttered.
"That?" I heard him say airily. "Well, you started it."
"Oh, don't tell me that Mrs. Haruna was wrong about her 'theory' that your pile of poetic
manure was really written about us." I cynically replied. "You wrote that for me to hear."
"So what if her theory was right?" I felt him narrow his gaze on me, as he twirled me once. "It
was the only way for me to get you to listen."
"Bull." I snorted. "Aren't you the drama king."
Before he could answer at my remark, there was a sequence in the dance routine, having the
partners switch with others. I found myself secretly craving the time I wasn't dancing with him.
And just as I thought I was out of the blue, we switched back.
"Damn it." I mumbled under my breath.
"What was that?" He caught my waist and I could only gasp. I knew he was grinning.
He was grinning because he did this in my dream... Or as much as I'd like to deny, he did this in
'our' dream.
"Haven't you had enough when you played that pathetic practical joke on me?" I snidely
retorted, plastering a small frown. "Maybe you haven't and you still want to pry into my life."
"Damn it, Serena." He suddenly twirled me, forcing me to face him. I tried to turn my head
away. "How many times do I have to tell you? I didn't know it was you that I was talking to
online with. Why can't you just accept that."
I finally looked into his eyes, trying to reenforce a glare. Instead, the exact opposite displayed on
my facial features.
I looked at him hurt.
"Because... I can't"
