Author's note: The following is dedicated to the insanity that is known as South Park.

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"My Favorite Things"

Based on "My Favorite Things" from the musical "The Sound of Music" by Rogers and Hammerstein

Weight Gain Four Thousand and zombies and pink eye,

Terrance and Phillip and blue towels that get high,

Seeking advice from a school chef that sings,

These are a few of my favorite things.

Pissed off big sisters who have to wear braces,

Fat kids with pubic hair glued to their faces,

Lemmiwinks now is the new Gerbil King,

These are a few of my favorite things.

Mormons and turkeys and gay dogs and crack-whores,

Hiring a hooker to give parents cold sores,

Butters, you're not watching Lord of the Rings!

These are a few of my favorite things.

When I'm pissed off,

When I'm fuming,

When I'm bored as hell,

I simply remember my favorite things,

And then I feel really swell!