But I Was A Prefect

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Chapter 1 : When Tragedy Strikes

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By: Sora J. (BrokenRadio)

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They tell us there are only two sides to be on
If you're on our side you're right, if not you're wrong
But are we innocent, paragons of good?
Is our guilt erased by the pain that we've endured?
- "Combat Rock" Sleater-Kinney

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On December 2 of 1996, Mr. and Mrs. Granger received an owl post which caused their faces to turn a rather odd shade of green. It was an ugly piece of news, which they had never dreamed of hearing as long as the world as they knew it, was well and normal. But then again, it wasn't really.

Their daily routines were soon forgotten amidst this horrid tragedy and the two took to bed in an awful state. They might have screamed and tore at their hair, they might have ranted like madmen, but no, the Grangers simply prepared their own soaked towels and tucked themselves in with thermometers. What, you may ask, could have driven these exemplary British dentists to upset their entire schedule?

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Dear Mr. and Mrs. Granger,

I am terribly sorry to inform you that your daughter, Hermione Granger, shall be stripped of her Prefect title for the remainder of her sixth year. Apparently she, along with two fellow students have reportedly attacked a member of staff without good reason. The aforementioned teacher is currently being treated at the infirmary and is expected to recover with no lasting effects.

Miss Granger and her friends have always been allowed many privileges, and have been excused numerous times because of certain circumstances. As much as I understand that Miss Granger harbored only the best intentions, she will not be excused in this case due to the great level of danger she exposed the staff and fellow students to.

I sincerely hope that she will reflect upon her inappropriate conduct and return to her title as Prefect next year.

Yours sincerely,
Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts School,
Minerva McGonagall

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The Grangers were devastated. Their dreams of raising a genius child with a spotless record now seemed like distant memories. If only they had noticed the signs earlier. All of this associating with trouble-makers and oddballs should have alerted their attention sooner. As if their dear daughter being a witch weren't enough!

The clever couple decided that something must be done, and done immediately. As they desperately racked their brains for something that might save Hermione from the clutches of sin and temptation, their eyes fell on a shiny, flat object on the coffee table.

It was, in fact, an old copy of Witch Weekly that Mrs. Granger had found in Hermione's room and flipped through, half-curious and half-frightened. The moving pictures were certainly interesting, but Mrs. Granger didn't want too much excitement in one day. However, today, the shimmering cover picture of a pretty young witch on a lacy broomstick suddenly seemed like the portrait of Mrs. Granger's messiah.

"Aha!" Came the triumphant cry of Mrs. Granger as she held up the magazine, pointing to a shiny ad in the right-hand corner.

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*~Mistress Rookwood's Magical Academy of Etiquette and Form~*

We shall transform even the most rebellious young spirits into proper gentle-wizards and witches. Write now to apply for a four-week winter course at a reasonable fee.

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"Quite a lack of details, wouldn't you say?" Mr. Granger scrutinized the ad doubtfully. "Do you really think it'd be safe to send Hermione to such a place...?"

"Am I the only one concerned over the future of our daughter?" Mrs. Granger cried out exasperatedly. "To solve such a severe problem, one must resort to extremes. I for one, think that this is exactly the type of thing Hermione needs. And the fact that it's a magical school will also allow her to keep up with her school studies while she's there." She looked at her husband triumphantly. He was not a man of strong will when it came to his wife, and she could practically taste victory.

"Well... You do have a good point. I suppose it wouldn't hurt to give it a try." Mr. Granger looked unsure of himself, but his dear wife had started writing out an application before he had time to reconsider.

"You won't regret it, dear," said Mrs. Granger sweetly, and planted a kiss on Mr. Granger's cheek. "By this time next year, our daughter will not only be a prefect but Head Girl as well."

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Hermione nervously stepped off the Hogwarts Express. A million thoughts were running through her head rapidly. Surely her parents would have received the letter. Surely they'd be upset. But she had no idea how severe the consequences might be, for she had never before been in so much trouble. If the sorrow of no longer being a prefect weren't enough, she would now have to face the wrath of two fire-breathing British dentists.

There they stood in the distance. The timid couple by their small car, waving at Hermione. Was that disappointment on their faces? Was it anger? Hermione drew closer with heavy steps, braced for the worst.

Was she dreaming? Had the shock of losing her title caused her to go delusional? For her parents seemed... well, glad to see her. Hermione pinched herself hard, and only when she felt the searing pain in her flesh did she realize that her parents' smiles were not in fact, a result of her own mental illness. But she was quick to doubt before feeling relieved. Hermione decided that she might as well apologize and grovel while she still had the chance.

"Mum, Dad! I'm really, really sorry for causing all of this trouble! But I really thought that the new professor was a spy! I mean, all that snooping around was quite suspicious indeed, and when he came up to the dorms, well it only fed our suspicions! How was I to know that he had lost an important document and that- that... Oh, I know I shouldn't have cast such a dangerous spell in the Great Hall, what with everyone present, and- and- I know I'm not yet skilled enough for such magic, and- "

Hermione was close to tears as she ranted her heart out, but her parents were perfectly calm.

"That'll be enough, Hermione," her mother said gently, with a small smile playing on her lips. "Your father and I know what happened, and no, we aren't angry at all."

Hermione blinked several times in confusion. "You- You aren't??"

"Well, on one condition, that is."

"Which is...?"

"That you are trained to be a proper young witch."

Hermione narrowed her eyes. "A- A what? How?"

Her mother proudly held up the ad, and Hermione strained to get a closer look. As soon as her mother's words became clear, Hermione's jaw dropped open. It couldn't be. A school of etiquette?

"Your father and I have discussed it, and we both believe that this is the best way to ensure your future. I know that rebellion is a common symptom among young people, but I will not allow it to stand in the way of your success. You know we only do this because we love you." Mrs. Granger patted Hermione's head lovingly. But was that a murderous glint in Mrs. Granger's eye?

Hermione slowly weighed her options in her head. If she simply attended this academy, then she would be completely off the hook. On the other hand, if she refused to go, she would be able to salvage the remaining days of her lively youth, but who knew how horrid the consequences might be. She had never had to face the full wrath of her parents, thus she had no idea what to expect.

"Better not gamble," she mumbled to herself.

"What's that, dear?" Mrs. Granger smiled sweetly, waiting for her daughter's reply.

"I totally agree, Mum," Hermione forced a smile onto her face. "I think it's a splendid idea. I shall be very glad to go indeed."

Mrs. Granger's smile widened, and she quickly ushered her daughter into the family car. Mr. Granger simply stared into the sky, with the look of a man who is helplessly watching the murderous decay of an innocent molar.

And thus, Hermione Granger's 'interesting' winter vacation began.

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Disclaimer : Harry Potter and all related characters belong to J.K. Rowling. I am not making any profit from this fanfic, although I wish I were.

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A/N : This is only the beginning, and the interesting parts are yet to come. The following chapters will also be much longer than this one. There are probably numerous mistakes, but I don't have a beta reader at the moment so I beg forgiveness.

The title was swiped from the movie "But I Was A Cheerleader", which I admit, I haven't actually watched. I hear it's wonderful though, and I will watch it once I get the chance.

I'd really appreciate reviews ; advice especially adored. Flames shall be used to barbeque squid.