AN: I've been trying to figure out why my ellipses ( . . . ) are coming out as single periods but no matter what I do, they come out singular despite many (aggravating) format configurations. So, I'm sorry that it looks like I'm anti-punctuation in some of the dialogue. If you see a lowercase word after a period, please infer that I'm using ellipses and if anyone can tell me how to get around this, please email me and I'll fix it.
Seth is worried when he parked the Rover in the driveway. Ryan refuses to talk to him on the ride home and when Seth asks him if he is going to tell his parents about Trey, he doesn't respond.
Kirsten is waiting for them when they get home. Seth walks into the kitchen first and Ryan follows him with his eyes lowered.
"Are you okay? The nurse said you passed out." Kirsten embraces Ryan.
"I'm okay," Ryan mutters.
"Are you sick?" Kirsten asks, releasing him.
"No. I mean, I was, but I'm okay now."
"You threw up?" Kirsten probes, giving Seth a concerned glance that was returned by one of his own.
"I'm fine. I just want to lie down," Ryan admits. She puts a hand against his forehead but he isn't feverish.
"What's wrong?" Kirsten asks quietly.
"Nothing," Ryan answers immediately.
"They're going to find out whether you tell them or not," Seth says quietly. Ryan acknowledges him with a glance.
"What? Ryan, what happened?" Kirsten asks, more concerned.
"My brother's dead. He was killed in prison. My mom wrote me a letter. Seth has it," Ryan states slowly. "Can I please be excused?"
Kirsten is shaken by his calm words. "Ryan."
"I really think I should lie down," Ryan interrupts.
"Go ahead. I'll come out to check on you," Kirsten says after a pause.
Ryan pulls his backpack behind him absently as he leaves the kitchen and goes to the poolhouse.
He sits down beside his bed and takes a deep breath. Trey's dead.
*****
Sandy gets a worried call from Kirsten and comes home immediately. He finds Kirsten and Seth in the kitchen, looking more worried.
"What's going on? You said it has something to do with Ryan?"
"Trey died. And Ryan's mother.she didn't even call, she wrote him a letter. He's been dead at least a week and she didn't even call," Kirsten says immediately.
"Oh god, how's Ryan?"
"He got sick at school. He rushed out of class with Luke and got sick and then tried to take off. Luke stopped him and said he just passed out. He's in the poolhouse. He's just sitting there, you can see him through the window. He locked the door and we can't get in. He's just sitting there, Dad," Seth motions out the back door.
"Where's the letter?"
"Mom threw it away," Seth says.
"No one should read that. She's not a mother.she's evil." Kirsten replies. "She blamed the whole thing on Ryan."
"Ryan says it's his fault. Remember when his brother called and Ryan got all freaked out? The only thing I could get out of him that night was that Trey needed his help and it was illegal. So Ryan said no.but he felt really bad about it," Seth says slowly.
"Trey was in jail, what could Ryan possibly do for him?" Kirsten asks.
"I wonder if this has anything to do with that black eye Ryan got at Thanksgiving.I never believed that whole story he told us." Sandy thinks aloud.
"At least he told you something," Seth mutters. "He wouldn't tell me anything."
"Let me go talk to him," Sandy sighs. "He can't stay in there forever," He adds.
"Do you have a key?" Seth asks.
"Of course I do," Sandy replies. He leaves his wife and son in the kitchen and steels himself for the conversation with Ryan. He's used to having to pull information out of the quiet teenager but he's aware that Ryan will probably not talk to him. He knocks on the door. Ryan doesn't acknowledge him. His blue eyes are unfocused as he stares at the floor. Sandy unlocks the door and steps inside.
"Ryan."
The boy doesn't respond. Sandy kneels beside him in the floor. "Ryan. Please."
"I'm okay, Sandy. I promise," Ryan says quietly. He doesn't look up.
"I don't believe you, kid. Talk to me," Sandy urges.
"What am I supposed to say?" Ryan asks. "What do you want me to say?"
"I want you to tell me that you understand that there was nothing you could do for your brother," Sandy says slowly.
Ryan's face flashes with emotion but immediately returns to stone.
"Ryan. There was nothing you could do," Sandy says again.
"Nothing I could do." Ryan mutters. He stands up, suddenly as if he realizes that Sandy is in his space. He starts to pace. Sandy doesn't speak, he waits for Ryan to say something.
"Things are so fucked up, Sandy," Ryan says finally.
"Ryan," Sandy sighs.
"No, just listen." Ryan is clearly upset but his face is blank. Sandy can read his eyes. "In Chino.fucking everyone is on probation.everybody's got a record.Crime, it's not crime to us, you know? It's.it's just day to day shit.He asked me for help and I said I couldn't, I said I didn't want to get into trouble.but it's like.its like if you had asked me to take out the trash and I said no, I should have done it.there's no excuse."
"Ryan, you know that's not true." Sandy interrupts.
"I should have done it, Sandy. He told me they were going to kill him.he fucking told me but." Ryan continues.
"Ryan. This is not your fault. You are sixteen years old, you are not responsible for your brother's.trouble. Okay?" Sandy says seriously.
Ryan sighs. He sits down on the edge of his bed. His hands are clenched with tension. He sighs again. "Can I tell you something?"
"Of course."
"Not as a lawyer.not as a parent.can I just tell you something and you won't freak out on me?" Ryan asks slowly.
Sandy hesitates.
"Never mind." Ryan says immediately.
"No, Ryan, I want you to talk to me but I can't promise that I won't freak out. But I'm listening," Sandy says.
"No, it's okay."
"Tell me, Ryan," Sandy urges.
"Trey called me at Thanksgiving.I thought he really wanted to see me." His eyes flash with regret for a moment. "I figured he probably just needed something, but I really wanted to believe that he just wanted to hang out.I should have known better."
"What happened?" Sandy asks quietly.
"He told me how he owed these guys six grand.he was pretty roughed up.the guy he owed it to was getting to him inside.he needed my help." Ryan says slowly.
"What kind of help? Did you give him money?" Sandy replies.
Ryan shakes his head. "I.I picked up a car from an old friend of Trey's and took it to a guy."
Sandy doesn't respond immediately. "To a guy. Whose car, Ryan?"
"It was Trey's car. He stole it and was keeping it at a friend's house," Ryan whispers.
Sandy opens his mouth to scold Ryan but stops himself.
"I know it was stupid, I know it jeopardized everything that I have here.but I didn't know what else to do.they were going to kill him and I.he's my brother.he was my brother." Ryan says.
"How'd you get the black eye that day, Ryan?" Sandy asks carefully. He realizes how huge this confession must be to Ryan and he doesn't want to close the tentative lines of communication that Ryan is attempting.
"Gattas.the guy I took the car to.he wanted to collect on the interest. So he took a swing and called a bunch of his guys over but Marissa.she didn't listen to me when I sent her home, she pulled up and got me out of there." Ryan continues. His voice is barely a whisper.
"I wish you had told me, Ryan.I wish you had asked me for help."
"How could you have helped, Sandy?" Ryan asks after a long pause. "This isn't your world.you can't understand." He lowers his voice. "I killed Trey.I let him die."
"Ryan, this is not your fault!" Sandy says again.
"If I had just done what he needed.if I had just." Ryan starts.
"Ryan. You're upset. You just lost your brother. You're not thinking clearly."
"I am thinking clearly, Sandy," Ryan says clearly. He meets Sandy's gaze. "For the first time in a long time, I'm thinking clearly." Before Sandy can respond, Ryan rushes from the room. Sandy can hear him being sick.
*****
