Sandy leaves the poolhouse when he hears the shower turn on in the bathroom. Seth and Kirsten are still in the kitchen.
"How is he?"
"He's upset. Seth, he didn't tell you anything about Thanksgiving?" Sandy asks his son.
"No, Dad. He just said that his brother said goodbye. Did he tell you something?" Seth asks immediately.
"This isn't the first time that Trey's needed Ryan to do him a favor. On Thanksgiving, Trey had Ryan.pay an outstanding debt for him. That's how he got the black eye. He told me about it. . . " Sandy admits.
"What kind of debt, Sandy? Ryan doesn't have any money," Kirsten replies.
"I'll explain things later, Kirsten. He's got a lot on his mind right now," Sandy replies.
"Something illegal?" Seth asks. Sandy doesn't answer and Seth lets the subject drop.
"I think we should just give him some space. He's too upset right now to look at things clearly," Sandy sighs. The phone rings and Kirsten answers it. She holds the phone down and turns to Sandy and Seth.
"It's Marissa," Kirsten says.
"I'll talk to her," Seth says after a long pause. He takes the phone from his mom and steps into the den.
"Hey, Marissa."
"Seth? What's going on? Luke says that you took Ryan home, that he's upset. . . " Marissa starts immediately.
"Yeah, he got a little sick. His brother died," Seth says quietly.
Marissa pauses. "Trey? Oh god. . . is he okay?"
"He's not really talking. He's upset. Trey called a couple of weeks ago and asked Ryan for a favor. . ."
"He asked Ryan for a favor? How could he do that after Thanksgiving?" Marissa interrupts.
"I wouldn't know. Ryan never told me what happened in Chino," Seth replies.
"God, Seth, it was so scary. . . I thought those guys were going to kill Ryan." Marissa says.
"Well, whoever you're talking about sure did a number on Trey. Ryan's really taking it hard," Seth admits.
"I'll come over right after school," Marissa says.
"Thanks, Marissa. Maybe you can get through to him," Seth replies.
*****
Seth knocks quietly on the poolhouse door that afternoon. The door is unlocked so he steps inside.
"Hey," Seth says to Ryan. Ryan is sitting on his bed with his history book opened in front of him.
"Hey."
"What's going on?" Seth asks quietly.
"Not much. Studying," Ryan replies.
"You feel like talking?" Seth asks after a beat.
"No. But feel free. You're welcome to talk," Ryan shrugs.
Seth hesitates. Ryan doesn't look up from his book. "I'll leave you alone." Seth makes it to the poolhouse door.
"Wait. You don't have to go. . . " Ryan says quietly. He pushes the book off the bed with a thump.
"I'm sorry about your brother, Ryan," Seth says, sitting down on the couch.
"Don't be. It's not that big of a loss," Ryan mutters.
"Ryan, he's dead. . . it's a loss to you. . . " Seth says quietly.
"You're more of a brother to me than he ever was," Ryan replies.
Seth is unsure of how to respond.
"My head's all messed up, Seth. I don't know which end is up anymore."
"That's understandable. . . Ryan. . . Dad said that on Thanksgiving.your brother, he wanted something from you, just like you thought, right?" Seth asks carefully.
"I didn't tell you, Seth, because. . . " Ryan sighs. "Because I didn't want you to know. . . the only reason Marissa knew was because I couldn't get her to leave. . . "
"Tell me what, Ryan? That your brother wanted you to do something illegal?"
"He owed this guy six grand when he got sent to jail. I had to pick up a hot car and take it to a chop shop for him so he would stop getting beat up in prison," Ryan says quickly.
"God, Ryan. . . "
"I didn't know that's what he wanted from his call. Last time. . . he told me straight up that he needed something. . . and I said no," Ryan says quietly.
"Which was the right answer, dude. You did the right thing," Seth says.
"I let him die, Seth," Ryan replies.
"You didn't let him die, Ryan. You did everything you could. . . you're not responsible for your brother, he's a grown up. . . " Seth starts.
Ryan doesn't respond.
"Can I ask you something else?"
Ryan looks up at him and shrugs. "You can ask."
"When your brother called you a few weeks ago. . .you got really upset but there was one thing you said that I want to ask you about. . . " Seth pauses and meets Ryan's gaze. "You said that you owed him something. . . "
"Seth. . ." Ryan starts.
"Then you said something about him killing you. . ." Seth continues. Ryan is silent. "Ryan, what did he do to you? What were you talking about?"
"It was a long time ago, Seth. . . "
"Ryan, you never talk about your past, man. You act like it doesn't matter, but it does! It makes you do the things that you do, it makes you the way you are. . . and. . . " Seth pauses. "It won't change the way I think about you."
Ryan met his gaze steadily. "Yes, it will."
"Dude, we've come too far for anything you tell me to affect us. You're my best friend. . . you're my brother, dude. . . I want to know about your past, man, especially if. . . if it's something as serious as. . . as you dying. . . " Seth explains.
Ryan closes his eyes and sighs.
"I'm sorry, dude," Seth says after a long silence.
"You know my dad's in jail, right?" Ryan says immediately.
"Yeah. Armed robbery, right?" Seth asks quietly.
"Yeah," Ryan replies. "But that wasn't always his. . . his crime of choice. He sold drugs. Weed, pills, junk, crack, whatever he could sell and he could sell it all. See, what happened is. . . he got all these drugs fronted to him. He'd been doing good business for a while so his supplier trusted him with a whole lot of product." He waits for Seth to nod before continuing. "This sounds so twisted when I say it out loud, dude."
"I'm listening."
"Anyway. Dad was so damned happy, he was so fucking nice for the first few days. . . he went out with Mom and got shit-faced to celebrate, and when he got back. . . someone had broke into the house and stole his stash. He was out five grand."
"Shit, Ryan. What happened?" Seth asks.
"I came home from school. . . shit, man, I was just a kid, you know? But he said it was my fault, he said I must have told someone about it. . . " Ryan sighs. "Anyway, he beat the hell out of me. I woke up in the hospital about a week later. Trey had found me and took me to the free clinic and they had sent me to the hospital. When I got out, I found out that Dad had been arrested for holding up a store," Ryan says.
Seth nods. "That sucks, man. . . "
"But the point of all that is. . . yeah, Trey saved my ass. I would've died if he hadn't taken me somewhere. . . but it was his fault anyway," Ryan says.
"Ryan. . . wasn't it your Dad's fault?" Seth asks.
"That's not what I mean. Dad's stash? Trey's the one that took it. God, he never admitted to anyone but me, but he told one of his buddies about it and they ended up splitting it down the middle. If he hadn't done that. . . god, things would be totally different," Ryan replies.
"I had no idea, Ryan. . ." Seth starts.
"Anyway. That's why he always said I owed him my life. He dropped me off at the free clinic after my dad beat me senseless with a chair leg. That's loyalty, he said. He was willing to face down Dad to get me to safety," Ryan mutters.
"Dude, that just reinforces the fact that his death isn't your fault. You're away from all that now," Seth says carefully. "You had a chance to get out and you took it. You don't have to put yourself at risk. . . at risk for people that don't care about you anymore," He finishes.
"Seth. . . It's not like that. . . Trey. . . he was my only brother. . . you and I. . . we barely know each other, man. You don't know any of the things I've been through, the things I've done in the past. . . you just know me from the past few months. . ." Ryan starts.
"I get that, Ryan. . ."
"I don't think you do," Ryan stops him. He stands up, frustrated. "I mean, I appreciate everything that you're saying and I get it, but. . . it doesn't change anything. What it boils down to is that my brother asked me for help and I turned him away and now he's fucking dead. Nothing anyone can say is going to make that any less true," Ryan says.
Seth has paled at Ryan's outburst.
"I'm sorry. I've got to get out of here. . ." Ryan says suddenly. He leaves before Seth can get off the couch.
