Flirting with Death: Taverns, Toys and Twinklings

Neon lights flashed against the night sky, seeming to burst forth from the stars. The blackness appeared to blanket a mist, the illuminating brightness of the Gold Saucer trapped beneath the nearly invisible stars above. Marlene tugged on her companion's arm.

"Tifa, can we go watch the chocobos?" Her wide eyes peered up at the older woman, excitement revealed in their depths.

"Sure we can!" she replied, beaming at her. "Then, we can go and get some ice cream!"

Marlene's face lit up with grattitude. "Oh, Tifa! Thank you so much!"

There was a huge smile plastered on the child's face as she raced Tifa to the Chocobo Arena. As soon as they got there, they found three seats and readied themselves to watch the races. Marlene was hugging a huge, stuffed chocobo and had a big bag on candy in her lap. Tifa sipped on her soda as she waited for Barrett to join them, and soon her mind had wandered off into space.

She had done a fair amount of travelling the past couple of days, but it had been alright, she decided. After leading Mayonee through the caves beyond the marshes, she had made her journey to Junon. She'd stopped by Priscila's house long enough to say hello, and then she had boarded a boat headed for Costa del Sol. Her arrival had been late in the afternoon, and so she spent the rest of the day relaxing on the beach, bathing in the surf and enjoying the sunset. She awoke to another thunderous downpour later that night outside the beach cottage she had rented. After a short time, she was able to fall back to sleep, soothes by the sound of palm branches brushing softly against the window.

The next morning, Tifa had set out with Corel as her destination. She wanted very badly to see Barrett and Marlene, and she was curious to know how the small town was developing since Meteor. By the time she had made it through the valley and to the old railroad tracks, the heat and the dry air had exhausted her. She was glad to find that the tracks had been repaired and put back into use, and that the old reactor had been turned into a storehouse for the city's supplies. She was able to hitch a ride on the train, though she had to pay a small fee to take Mayonee with her, and landed safely in Corel later that afternoon.

She had still been quite tired, and Barrett had been kind enough to put her up in his house, so she immediately went there to take a nap. She was awoken later in the evening by a hyper Marlene; her daddy had promised to take her to the Gold Saucer that night, and she told Tifa it would mean the world to her if she would go with them. It was then that an idea occurred to Barrett; he could ask Tifa to watch Marlene for a while, so that he could go to the Battle Arena. This made him happy, as he had been unwilling to leave Marlene's side in such a crowd, and Tifa would spoil the girl, having not seen her in so long.

Tifa was shaken from her thoughts when Barrett slumped down heavily into the open seat at Marlene's side. "Heya, Marlene!" he boomed. "Daddy missed ya a whole lot! 'Ave ya been good fo' Tifa?"

"Yes, papa." She paused in the middle of lifting some candy to her mouth. "We went to Wonder Square, and I won a chocobo! See?" She held it close for him to look at. "And Tifa beat a wrestler in an arm-wrestling match!"

Barrett smiled and ran his hand through his little girl's hair. "Sounds like ya'll been havin' a good time. Thanks, Teef."

"Sure thing. I'm happy to look after her," Tifa replied, grinning. Then she found a question for the man. "...You're back earlier than I thought you would be. Weren't you in the Battle Dome?"

"Well, ah was..."

"You didn't get beat, did you, Barrett?" She paused, and he gave her a sheepish look. She gasped. "You did! What happened?"

Barrett sighed. "Coupl'a freaky flyin' reptiles ganged up on me, and ah got all froze up. Weren't able t' move too quickly afta dat first shock, an' ah had ta' call it quits."

Tifa stifled her laughter, but it caught in her throat and squeezed out a strange, snorting sound. She tried to imagine the giant man running away from a couple of tiny dragons as they shot their whispy breath at him.

He shot her a hurt look and shifted in his seat. "Ah don't see what's so funny, Teef."

"Oh...nothing, much." Her grin grew wider as she admitted, "Just trying to picture it."

"Uh-huh. Well you jes' keep on tryin'. I ain't gonna care." He waited. "Much." Tifa burst with her restrained laughter.

"Papa, Tifa, look!" Marlene squealed in excitement. "The races are starting!"

And so they all watched the races together.

Tifa woke up early the next morning, wanting to get an early start across the plains of Gongaga. She was hoping to make it to Cosmo Canyon by nightfall. Barrett offered to take her to breakfast before she left, and she had agreed, so the three of them spent some time at the tavern in the town plaza. Being there vaguely reminded her of her own tavern; she was still a bit anxious over it. She'd left in such a hurry and hadn't allowed herself to give it a second thought. Hopefully, she would still have business there when she went back.

If she went back.

She offered Barrett to go along with her, though she didn't really expect him to say 'yes'; he had plenty to do around town. She wasn't disappointed. He would be spending a lot of time in the fields just outside of Corel, harvesting the most recent yields. There was much to be done, and they needed to fill the storehouse with fresh crops.

Tifa made mention that Nanaki would probably enjoy a visit from Barrett and little Marlene, and so Barrett agreed to take his daughter there when the harvests were over. After a hearty meal, the group returned to Barrett's house and grabbed her things. As soon as she had said goodbye to them both, and saddled Mayonee, she was off.

The plains of Gongaga were flat and lush, but they seemed to stretch on forever; at the end lay the desert mountains. Tifa was thankful that Barrett had sent plenty of water with her. After a while, she wanted to take a break; she slowed Mayonee, and she let the chocobo graze in the fields while she sat down to drink some water.

Staring off into the horizon, she couldn't help but think the landscape was indeed beautiful. She could see the hills of Cosmo Canyon rising in the distance; she idly thought to herself that the canyon would make for a wonderful vacation spot, especially for young lovers.

She hoped it wasn't too much longer before she arrived there. Getting anxious, she called Mayonee to her side, knowing that ascending the rocky plateaus that awaited her would take just as long as it would to reach them. She was determined to make it by the time the stars were out, and she wasn't going to let the hot afternoon sun slow her down.

Several hours later, Tifa found herself staring up at the stars from her spot by the bonfire. She sighed to herself, marveling at the pulsing light, tiny specks in the distance, reaching to the planet from so far away. Not like at the Gold Saucer. Out in the wilderness, she could see them all so clearly, and they were beautiful.

She remembered what Cid had said a long time ago; in the grand scheme of things, the planet was a small child that still needed to be taken care of. She suddenly felt very small herself, and so insignificant in comparison. Sometimes she wanted to be taken care of, too. She was a mature woman, and experienced with matters of life; she knew how to take care of herself. Still, she felt very alone most of the time. She was aware that she had friends who cared for her, but she still felt that something was missing in her life. A hint of sadness came over her, and she shivered at the contrast of the cool breeze next to the fire.

The pricking of tears behind her eyes did not go unnoticed by her furry companion. She tried to blink them back, but they still misted over her eyes, forcing her to lift a hand. Nanaki spoke.

"Tifa...may I ask what is troubling you?"

"Hmm?" She sniffed. "Oh...not much." She tried to smile, but it was a pathetic attempt, and she knew it.

"You appear pensive. On top of that, you seem drained. What are you thinking about?" The fiery beast tilted his head, ready to listen, willing to understand.

Tifa laughed to herself, thinking she would appear foolish to him, but she continued on anyways. More than anything in the world, she wanted someone to make her feel better. "I was just remembering something that Cid said...back during the whole Meteor thing."

"What might that be?"

She wiped furiously at her eyes. "...He was saying how small the planet seemed from space, and that it still needed somebody to take care of it. I was just thinking...if the planet is so small in the infinite reaches of space, then we must be really, really small."

Nanaki gathered from her expression and the tears in her eyes that she was breaking from loneliness, and that by 'small', she meant 'insignificant'.

"True, we are small," he said, purring with satisfaction, "but it was we who helped to save the planet. Perhaps we are not so small after all?"

"I guess..." she smiled sadly, "that I'm just looking for a purpose. I mean, I'm sure there's one out there for me, and that's why I'm looking. But I don't even know where to start. Maybe I'm just not easily satisfied..."

"...You left Midgar to search for a new life?"

Tifa shrugged. "I don't know if I'm looking for a whole new life. But...I wanted to shake things up a bit. I don't want to be stuck, unless I'm finally satisfied with where I am." She smirked to herself. "Just bored, I guess. I don't know why."

Nanaki brought his head down to rest upon his paws and closed his eye. "Hmmm." He appeared to be in deep thought for a moment. Then he opened his eye again and looked up at her. "Perhaps you will find what has been absent in your life. Or..." a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, "perhaps you already hold the truth. You just need to discover it for yourself." With that, his smile was complete, and he closed his eye again.

Tifa sighed again, pulling her blanket over her. How could she possibly know how long it was going to take? Maybe it would be weeks. Maybe it would be years. What if she never found it?

She tried to lift her spirits, thinking that for all she knew, it could be found the very next day. She knew what she'd have to do. She would start at the very beginning, the place where she grew up. The place where she lost everything, and her life was changed forever.

Tifa drifted off to sleep, soothed by the sound of the beast's breathing. The next day, she would head to Nibelheim.