Moogle Burger With Cheese

            Locke was wandering around the caves in Narshe looking for treasure.  He shivered from the cold and then he saw a large pile of dead moogles.  They must have been the ones that the Empire killed.  Suddenly Locke had an idea.

            He went home to his wife, Celes, and told her about the moogle graveyard.  "Their bodies are really well preserved because of the cold.  So I thought that we could turn our house into a fast food restaurant.  We can turn the moogles into burgers and sell them."

            "Isn't that sorta…wrong?" Celes asked.  She wasn't sure if people would really want to eat moogles.

            "Not at all, they're already dead," Locke said.  So the two gathered up the dead moogles and took them home.  Then they converted their house into a fast food restaurant.  They put up a large sign with the name of the restaurant, Celes's, and a picture of her with pigtails. 

            People started to show up rather quickly but seemed slightly disgusted when they saw the menu.  "You serve moogles," a fat woman with an ugly child said.

            "Mommy, I want a happy meal," the child started to whine. 

            "Oh well, guess I'll have to try it," she said and ordered some food.  The customers all seemed skeptical at first but ended up loving the food.

            The next day the store was completely packed with happy customers.  That is except for one furious moogle.  "Hi Mog," Celes said cheerily.

            "You stupid cunt!  Why the fuck are you serving my friends bodies here?" Mog screamed.

            "Gee Mog, why are you so mad?  They were already dead," she replied.

            "How the fuck would you feel if I made a restaurant that dug up the bodies of your damn friends and served them."

            "Watch your language," Locke said as he came out of the kitchen.

            "I'll say any damn thing I want you bastard," Mog said.

            "Look mommy, it's a moogle," a little girl said, "can I go play with it?"

            "Eat your moogle burger first," she said.

            "Hey I have an idea Mog.  Why don't you become our mascot," Celes said.

            "I will not be your fucking mascot you stupid bitch," he replied angrily.

            The telephone rang.  Locke answered it and spoke to someone for a minute.  After he hung up he turned to Celes, "Great news KFC is going to buy us out.  We're going to make millions."

            The next day, they waited for the man to arrive when Celes told Locke some bad news.  "We are out of Moogle meat," she said.

            "What, he won't buy us out if we have to send customers home.  There aren't anymore dead moogles.  What are we going to do?" Locke said.  Then he had an idea.  He called Mog on the telephone and told him he was considering shutting the restaurant down.  He told Mog to come over there. 

            Mog arrived and said, "bout time you assholes came to your senses."  But immediately Locke took his knife and stabbed the moogle.  "God damn bastards," Mog screamed.  Locke started to cut him up.

            Mog continued to scream out obscenities until he died.  Locke started to cook him.  Business was booming as usual and the guy from KFC (which stands for Kitchen Fresh Chocobo) paid them three million dollars for the restaurant.  And everybody lived happily ever after, cept Mog who was dead.