Chapter Three: Latte

It was in the middle of an important meeting the next day when Heero's cell phone rang loudly. Excusing himself, Heero moved to a corner of the room to answer it.

"Yuy here," he said.

//Morning, hon!// said a cheerful voice.

Cheerful voice...bubbly attitude..."Duo?!"

//Astute as always, Hee-baby. So, how's it goin'?//

"How did you get my cell phone number?" Heero demanded.

//Hello~. Cousin is your secretary// Duo said. Heero could hear the smirk in Duo's voice.

"Cousin is also fired," Heero murmured.

//Aww, don't be like that, hon. Wasn't Tro Tro's fault. I sorta kinda black mailed him// Duo explained. //By the way, you have a really nice house. The red and blue decor is very Fung Suei.//

"How would you know...how'd you get into my apartment!" Heero yelled. Other employees in the room glared at Heero's outburst. He looked sheepish and mouthed an apology.

//Sorry, Hee-babe, but I had to. And I didn't really do it. It was this pink chick. I saw her so I followed her in// Duo explained. //I didn't even know it was you until she told me she forgot the key to her boyfriend Heero's apartment.// Duo sounded bitter.

"WHAT?!" Heero shouted. The other employees stood and glared at Heero again. He continued in a whisper. "Was her name, by any chance, Relena?"

//That's what she said. I caught her putting womanly cosmetics in the medicine cabinet of your bathroom. She's in the kitchen supposedly making pasta right now. Since she's your girlfriend, I didn't try to stop her, but I gotta tell ya Hee-babe, she ain't no Betty Crocker.//

Heero sighed and shrugged. What the hell, leap. "Thanks, Duo. I'll be over there in a few. Can you watch her, please?"

//No prob, Hee-babe. See ya soon. Huggles and a big ass kiss with tongue! Ciao!// The line went dead. Heero put away his cell and slid back into his chair. He turned to his blond haired, blue-eyed boss, Quatre Winner.

"I have to leave for a bit, sir. Can I have Trowa come in and take notes on the meeting?" he asked.

"Sure Heero. Is there a problem?" Quatre asked, always looking out for his employees.

"Unfortunately, yes. That new secretary you hired broke into my house and I have to go kick her a-- er, investigate. I'll be back by lunch," Heero said.

"She's Zech's sister, he's the one who hired her. I like to think I have good taste," Quatre said. "And I'll need you back before lunch. There's a problem in Settings."

"Hai, Quatre-sama. Arigatou." Heero bowed low, then left the room. He hurried down to his car, passing Noin along the way. "Ohayou, Noin-san," he said hurriedly. "Can you please set up a lunch meeting between Zechs and I at Yurameshi's? It's really important. Arigatou!" The half-Japanese energizer bunny waved to her quickly, hopped into his black Mazda Miata (a loan until his Hundai Sonata was fixed) and drove off.

"Sure thing, Yuy-kun. Crazy bastard," the purple-haired woman murmured, grinning.

***

In ten minutes flat Heero was at the front door of his Tokyo apartment, key in hand and revenge in his eyes. He unlocked the door and slipped silently in (leaving his shoes), heading in the direction of the kitchen. Stopping just outside the dining room, he slid his traditional Japanese paper door aside slowly and peered in. Crosslegged on the floor before the low table was Duo, shining braid over one shoulder and trailing between the teenager's legs. Duo had a serene look on his face, and Heero couldn't help but think that the room and the boy complimented each other.

The room was medium sized, scrolls with kanji and well painted pictures stating Japanese proverbs decorating every wall. Potted plants and tasteful lanterns graced the corners, and a well polished collection of rare samurai swords sat near the back on a redwood rack. Hand-made cushions marked the places at the table, Duo sitting properly on one. Heero finally decided to make his presence known, stepping out from behind the screen. Duo immediately noticed.

"Hiya, Hee-hon! How's it goin'? You didn't get in trouble 'cuz I called, did you? 'Cuz if you did I'll fix it. I kinda sorta know your boss through my cousin and I can--"

"Hello, Duo. Where's Relena?" Heero said, cutting the boy off. Duo pouted, and something unidentifiable shined in his blue-violet eyes. He opened his mouth to answer, when suddenly there was a loud crash and shrieking.

"There," he said, the intangible thing in his eyes replaced by pure humor and sympathy for Heero. "She's 'cooking' for you. She wouldn't let me help. Said she wanted to do it herself." Another crash sounded and Heero paled. He couldn't even imagine the state his kitchen was probably in. Heero was a neat freak. No, he was a generic-cleanliness-a-spot-causes-hyperventilation- freak. If Relena so much as smudged his kitchen, he'd loose it.

He began moving toward the kitchen, a stoic and brave look on his face. Duo rose to follow, a slightly worried expression on his face. Heero slid the paper door back and mentally prepared himself, then stepped into the kitchen...and froze. The previously stark white counters were covered in a thick red liquid, the cupboards stained brown when they'd started as blue. The floor had spots of lumpy black and brown, and somehow the roof had acquired a coating of an indescribable green substance. And in the center of it all, diligently stuffing a blackened lump into a dented backing pan, was Relena Darlian, pink dress still immaculate, hair still mildly stylish.

"Holy shit!" Duo cried from behind him. Heero had to agree. Unfortunately he never got the chance. He had fainted.

***

"Shit, Hee-chan, why didn't you tell me you were a tight ass about cleaning?!" Duo cried, from his place beside Heero's bed in Kenkonii Hospital.

"I didn't think Relena would break into my apartment and attempt to cook me dinner even though it was illegal and she can't even boil water," Heero said with a groan. He then leaned over and reached for a bottle of pills and a glass of water near Duo. The braided boy's hand shot out, stopping him.

"Enough of that, Heero. You've taken enough of those painkillers to lay flat an elephant. I've noticed you only take them when you think about Relena. Try not thinking about your girlfriend and you'll get better faster," he said quickly, moving the pills aside. "Oh, and by the way, Winner-sama called. He said you had a lunch date with a Zechs Marquise, but you never showed up, and that the problem in Settings is getting out of hand."

Heero's eyes widened. He'd forgotten about work! "I need my cell phone," he said coldly. Duo just stared at him. "Are you deaf? I need my cell phone!" he repeated.

"No way, Hee-hon. You're not working while you lie in bed. I mighta only known you a day but I can tell you need to relax a bit. I can take care of it," Duo said. Heero looked at him coldly. "Lemme take care of it. Please?" Duo shoot a dewy eyed look at the normally stoic man and Heero formed a mental puddle on the floor. Damn.

"Alright. Tell Quatre that Trowa will see to Settings and--"

"I'll do it, Hee-chan," Duo said determinedly. He pulled out Heero's cell and grinned, then dialed the W/C Productions number. After two rings Quatre answered.

//W/C Productions, makers of great movies since B.C. 101. How may I assist you?//

"Winner-sama?"

//Speaking//

"This is Duo Maxwell, the potential actor your executive director Heero Yuy interviewed."

//Oh! You are Trowa's cousin?//

"Hai! Anyway, Heero's in Kenkonii Hospital. Turns out he has tyjeckistaphobia (A/N: Quite obviously made up), fear of uncleanliness, and earlier today his girlfriend Relena broke into his apartment and attempted to cook him pasta. She somehow got it everywhere and the mere sight of his destroyed kitchen sent Heero into a coma-like state for several hours," Duo said.

//Oh my! Is he alright?//

"Oh, Hee-hon's great. He's glaring and everything," Duo joked.

//Yes, that sounds like a recovered Heero. Was there anything you needed aside from that?//

"Actually, yes. Could you please tell me the condition in Settings?" he asked.

//Sure. All the painters have gone on strike. Something about a crazy blue haired girl decimating their sets//

"Simple enough. Heero's given me free reign of his current affairs *insert choking Heero* and I have his authorization to send Trowa to take care of it. Oh, and could you have the information of the girl sent to Mr. Yuy's laptop?"

//Of course.//

"And have Trowa arrange another time tomorrow for Zechs and Heero's meeting. Heero apologizes but something came up."

//Will do. Tell Heero I hope he gets better and we all want to see him bright and early tomorrow morning.//

"No prob, Bossman. Thanks for the help! Ja!" Duo cried cheerily, cutting the connection and turning off the cell phone. He turned to Heero. "Trowa's got Settings under control, or soon will, and your meeting with Zech's has been rescheduled. Your secretary will get back to you on that. Also, Bossman and the others hope you are well enough to come to work tomorrow. Good?"

Heero grudgingly nodded his head. He hadn't wanted Duo to be so good at this, but the braided boy had handled it well. Heero found himself thinking that Duo would make a good secretary. His head snapped up at the sudden revelation, then he proceeded to feel uncomfortable, the strange feeling of somehow betraying Trowa flitting through his mind. Shaking his head to clear it, he sat up, business-like.

"Please have me checked out and home by the end of the day. And get the nurse to bring me my clothes. Hospital gowns aren't exactly confortable," Heero said, as if talking to Trowa. He caught himself too late.

Duo grinned. "Sure thing, Hee-baby! I'll have you dressed and home in to shakes of a ratttler's...er...rattle. Be right back!" And the braided ball of energy left in a whirlwind of laughter. In the bed, Heero sighed deeply. Then, for the first time in almost a month, he smiled.