Pushing the Sky

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{flying teapot}

Shingo looked up curiously when Usagi threw herself onto the couch in their living room.  Suddenly remembering that his sister wasn't terribly interesting and that he was trying to play a video game, he turned back to the television screen right in time to see his character get his head bitten off by a zombie.

"Awwww MAN!  Usagi-baka, look what you made me do!" Shingo yelled, grabbing a fistful of his sisters long locks.

There was no response.

Shingo frowned and gave her hair an experimental yank.  Still, no reaction.  He pulled harder, and was considerably startled when Usagi surged up off the couch, grabbed him around the waist, picked him up, and carried him outside.  Part of the boy's mind was yelling at him to fight back or something, but… but the other half of his mind was buried too deeply in shock to operate properly.  Usagi was taking action against him… highflying action; he noted distantly as he saw the ground drop away beneath them.  Then it suddenly occurred to him what Usagi was doing as she neatly deposited him in a very tall tree in their neighbor's front yard.

"W… wait Usagi!" he yelped, throwing out his hand.

The blonde looked at him through red eyes.  "Shingo, I am in a very bad mood right now.  I am being forced to take piano lessons, mom wants me to marry some rich, ancient man, and at this point in time, I'm halfway inclined to do exactly as she wants.  Why, you ask, would I do that?  Well of course because I've been doing it my entire life!  I've always done exactly what I'm told!  And I get it now, and it pisses me off.  So, Shingo, unless you can guess correctly how I was able to jump up into this tree with you, whose orders I've been following this entire time, and what I should do about it, I'm not helping you down from this tree.  Understand?"

He nodded mutely.

Usagi nodded farewell at him, stepped off the branch, and landed neatly on the ground below him.  Seeming like she was in a much better mood, she ambled back into the house… without him.

Hmm.  So Usagi was getting fed up with her pushover ways.  Bout time.  But what had set his sister off?  He strained his mind to think about what, exactly, he had overheard his mother saying so many times.  Something about marriage to an ancient, wealthy man, that much was true.  But also something about shocking Usagi out of her shell.  And something about a private school in England.

And then what had he heard while spying on Usagi and that weird cousin of theirs?  Usagi had been confessing to the younger one that her friends loved her (but she had said it with a hint of doubt) and that they only teased her to make her a better person.  Shingo didn't buy that for a second.  He had also overheard her saying that she was so tired of fighting, and that she kept feeling like she only fought because everyone wanted her to…

This of course, meant that she was Superman's offspring (or more appropriately one of the Sailor Senshi), which explained how she was able to jump so high.  She had been following the orders of the Senshi, which pissed her off.  And as to what she should do about it…  well—

"You there!  Boy!"

Startled out of his thoughts, Shingo scrambled desperately to keep a good hold on his branch.  Once he was certain a fall to his doom was nowhere in his immediate future, he looked down at a black haired man who was looking up at him rather concernedly.  Shingo frowned.  He looked like a bad man.  HE HAD TO PROTECT HIS SISTER!

"Yeah, whaddo ya want?" he demanded with false bravado.

The man below looked taken aback.  "Well, I wanted to know if your sister ever intended to help you down from that tree," he said earnestly.

Shingo, forgetting his initial reservations, nodded.  "Once I give her the answers to her questions, yeah."

"What were her questions?" the man asked immediately.

"Uh… she wanted me to tell her why she was able to jump up here with me, whose orders she was following, and what she should do about it."

The man pushed his glasses up his nose.  "Then you've probably come to the conclusion that she's Sailor Moon, correct?"

Shingo froze.  A very uncomfortable feeling of dread filled him.  How the HELL did this guy find that out?  What was he supposed to do?  He wasn't raised to handle these situations!  He wasn't a hero… like his sister was.

"UUUUUUSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!" he wailed, throwing his head back.

The man below him flinched away from the noise, and then jumped when Usagi flung the door open.  "Oh for heaven's sake," she shouted, and then stopped when she saw the man standing there calmly.

"YOU!" she shrieked, jabbing a finger at him.  "YOU'RE THE ONE THAT'S BEEN STALKING ME!"

He bowed politely.  "Ohayo, Usagi-san.  Watashi wa Dr. Tofu, all the way from Nerima.  I've discovered that you're Sailor Moon and wish to speak to you about it."

The blonde rubbed her forehead.  "Why do these things always happen to me?" she demanded.

Tofu smiled slightly.  "Because you invariably lead a much more interesting life then any of the rest of us.  Unnatural people attract unnatural events.  Simple as that.  But onto business.  I'm conducting an experiment involving different kinds of energy, and I wanted to experiment on your power, if you don't mind."

Usagi folded her arms.  "No fucking way.  I—"

"Then I guess you don't mind if I tell everyone that you're Sailor Moon," he interjected smoothly.

Usagi was stopped mid-sentence.  Her mind churned furiously.  Was there any way around it?  Most likely… no.  She could kill him, but what good would that do?  No good at all, of course.  But--  AAAAAAARG!  She was trapped.  There was no way out of it.

Summoning a haughty expression, she tossed her hair over her shoulder, she regarded him with a cool gaze.  "I'd be pleased to aid you in your improbable quest for the sake of science.  Is there anything in it for me?"

Dr. Tofu smiled in a pleased sort of way.  "You will be treated to a healthy dose of complete and utter chaos.  I promise that it will be good for you.  And I dare say that you'll learn to harness your energy better and affect your transformation, in case you wanted to say, make a debut as a different Senshi.  So it's a deal?"

Usagi, caught up in visions of parading around in a totally new uniform, she could only nod distractedly and take a piece of paper from him.  She was only dimly aware of the fact that he was walking away, and as far as she was concerned, it would stay that way.  The blonde was, however, brought roughly back to her senses by someone grabbing her arm and spinning her around.

She was confronted by the most absolutely gorgeous man she had ever seen in her entire life.  The blood rushed to her head, and she was fairly certain that she saw small cupids wheeling over her head.  Her knees were beginning to feel very, very weak.

Shingo observed this all from above and deemed that there was only one acceptable response to this.  "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  STUPID USAGI!!!!  AAAAAAAHHHHHHAHHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  LOOK AT HER!  SHE'S BRIGHT RED!"

Usagi snapped back to reality and leapt straight up to tackle Shingo to the ground.  "YOU LITTLE BRAT!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!  USAGI, I'M NOT ABLE TO BOUNCE OFF THE GROUND LIKE YOU ARE!" he bellowed.

Remembering this a trifle belatedly, Usagi twisted in midair, and landed daintily on the ground, carrying Shingo in her arms princess style.  Usagi glanced down at her brother and laughed out loud at his expression.  She then dropped him unceremoniously on the ground, and proceeded to have another few laughs at his expense.

There was a polite cough from behind them.  Usagi whirled around and brought up a huge smile.  "Hhhhiiiiiiiiii," she said in a girly high-pitched voice.  Realizing with horror what she sounded like, she cleared her throat and tried again.  "Hey," she said normally as she could.

He looked a little taken aback by their performance, but he got over it rather quickly.  "Yes, hello miss, I'm Seiji Narita, and I'm terribly sorry to have frightened you so badly.  I was just wondering if you had seen a man named Dr. Tofu come by here," he explained.

Usagi nodded.  "Yep, he came this way just a bit ago.  Um.  Would you mind if I asked you a question?"

Seiji smiled.  "Not at all!"

Usagi gulped, and prepared to make the plunge.  "Why are you wearing a dress… sir?"

The boy's smile melted right from his face.  "You can tell I'm a guy that easily, huh?" he said gloomily, smoothing the folds of his dress self consciously.  "I know I shouldn't go around wearing girl's clothing," he said, blushing a bright red, "but I just—"

Usagi waved her hands, laughing slightly.  "Yeah, yeah, I got it.  Now you just come with me, and I'll make you look like a real girl!  Say, what's your real name?"

The blush got brighter.  "Quatre," he mumbled.

Usagi laughed in delight.  She loved her life!  It was just so goddamn interesting!  "Well listen Quatre or whatever your name is, we've got to get you distinctly girly name.  And I'm going to have to warn you, there are going to be some people that really take to you in a kinky way— oh god, are you okay?  I don't think your face should be that red,  Quatre.  You need some water?  We'll get you some water.  Heehee, I can't wait to get you out there in super girl clothes and see what the guys think— shit Quatre!  THAT WAS A GODDAMN DOOR.  Will you watch what you're doing?"

A few mishaps later, Usagi had Quatre sitting in her room in front of a mirror.  "Okay.  I see you've waxed your chest, arms, legs, and eyebrows…. Whooee, I'll bet that hurt, huh?"

Obviously uncomfortable, Quatre tried to shrink down in his seat.  Usagi was having none of that.  Yanking him back upright, she forced him to look into the mirror.  "Look at yourself Quatre, you're still self conscious about this whole cross dressing thing.  You make a drop dead gorgeous girl!  If I knew you weren't a girl, I'd be jealous of you!  Stand tall!"

And then without preamble, she attacked his hair.

"OOOOOOOWWWWWW!" Quatre howled in pain as she yanked it out of the pony tail.

"That was a very manly ponytail," she scolded.  For today, we'll experiment with leaving your hair down and maybe curling it.  Jesus Pete, you've got gorgeous hair!  Why didn't I get this kind of hair?" she whined as she dragged a brush through it.  "It's all white-blonde and shiny!  God what I wouldn't give for hair like this…"

Once Usagi had fussed with Quatre's hair long enough, she decided it was time to show Quatre the finer points of make up.  And then clothes.  And so on it went until dinner, when Ikuko stuck her head into Usagi's room.

"Usagi dear, time for dinner!  Oh!  I didn't know you had a friend over!  My, I didn't know you had such a pretty friend!  Is she going to marry a rich man as well?"

Usagi sighed.  "Mom, I'm really actually going to marry for love, not money!"

Ikuko clucked disappointedly.  "That, my dear, is unwise.  Oh!  I've completely forgotten myself!  Who's your little friend?"

The blonde girl froze.  "Uhm," she said clearly.

Quatre stood up gracefully.  "I'm Rumiko Hayaska, pleased to meet you," he said with a small bow.

Ikuko beamed happily at "Rumiko" and then patted him on his head.  "What a nice girl.  You and Usagi are just like each other!  You're welcome to stay the night, if you'd like," Ikuko offered.

Quatre looked uncertainly at his fellow blonde, who nodded enthusiastically.  Given the go-ahead, Quatre turned back to Ikuko and bowed again.

"I would be glad to, ma'am."

Ikuko clapped her hands together in pleasure.  "Wonderful!  Oh yes, Usagi!  Dr. Tofu called about your tutoring in Nerima, and I must say I'm terribly pleased to know that you're finally taking this marriage thing properly.  And Shampoo called, and she wants you to call her back.  And you got a call from Ranma," Ikuko said with visible distaste.

Usagi raised an eyebrow.  "And I don't suppose she wanted me to call her back, ne?"

Ikuko coughed.  "No.  She was mainly calling to tell you that she hated you and that your hair outsized your brains.  You will beat her in every way proper, won't you?" Ikuko asked plaintively.

The blonde smiled at the thought.  "I will do my best," she said earnestly.

Ikuko smiled again and withdrew.  Usagi waited until she heard her mother bashing things around in the kitchen before breaking into peals of laughter.  Quatre raised a newly waxed eyebrow.

"And just what's so funny?"

Usagi pressed her hand to her chest.  "Just that she hates Ranma as much as I do.  Oh god….  Hey, didn't you want Dr. Tofu earlier today before I sidetracked you with make up?"

Quatre's lined eyelids opened wide.  "Oh my god, I totally forgot.  I'm supposed to be helping Dr. Tofu in his office before I go off to school for the year.  He was going to show me the ropes.  I start next week," he explained.

Usagi grinned.  "He blackmailed me into helping him with some experiments.  If you see any brightly colored lights, that'd be his experiments."

Quatre laughed.  "I'm terrified already.  I've heard the worst things about Nerima."

Usagi cocked her head.  "Oh yeah?  Like what?"

"Like there's this guy named Ranma Saotome, and then a girl with the exact same name.  The entire student population either wants to marry or kill them.  They're both supposed to be great martial artists, along with about everyone else in that town.  They appear to take things very seriously there.  I've heard that they even have a Martial Arts Fast Food Restaurant Takeout Race.  Last year it got pretty vicious, apparently."

Usagi's face fell into a thoughtful little frown.  "Interesting.  Now… is it just me, or is something tapping on the window?"

Quatre looked startled.  "I thought you knew!  There's been a masked man tapping on your window for the last fifteen minutes now!  I thought you were just ignoring him," he said apologetically.  "He looks very handsome, though," he said brightly.

Usagi gave Quatre The Look and opened up her window.  The masked man perched impossibly on her windowsill seemed incapable of words, because he was just staring at her.  She rolled her eyes in exasperation.

"What the fuck do you want, Mamoru?"

The man's jaw dropped open, and he climbed swiftly into her room.  "What the hell are you doing, telling people my identity?"

"Because there's only one guy in all of Tokyo who would go around climbing trees and knocking on their ex girlfriend's windows before dinnertime."

Quatre's face cleared.  "Oh, you mean Mamoru Chiba!  So this is him?"

The face behind the mask went white.  "You mean….  People don't see me as a romantic figure?  And they know I'm Tuxedo Mask?  How?"

Quatre's eyes went wide.  "You mean you're the real Tuxedo Mask?"

Mamoru scowled and tore the mask off his face.  "Yes, I am!  What else did you think?"

The blonde boy went pink.  "Well, everyone knows that there's this guy who comes up to Usagi Tsukino's window at night dressed like Tuxedo Mask.  And since she always promptly makes out with him, we can only hope it's her boyfriend, Mamoru Chiba.  News like this travels pretty fast around Tokyo."

His cheeks blushed rosier and Usagi was sure that if she squinted she could have seen flowers (classic girls' manga style) spring up from behind Quatre.  He clasped his hands, and looked upwards while his eyes glittered emotionally.  "I just love gossip," he breathed.

Usagi's eyes were wide.  "Damn, he makes a good girl," she said under her breath.

Apparently though, Mamoru overheard.  "She's a guy?" he asked incredulously.  Quatre ignored them both and focused on his flowers.  "Kinky," Mamoru mumbled, glancing quickly over at Usagi to make sure that she hadn't overheard.  She was looking at Quatre and laughing.  Good.  Neither of them heard.

Except that then Quatre shoved Mamoru down so that he fell on top of Usagi, who promptly let out a bloodcurdling shriek.   Quatre went absolutely nuts and ran out into the hall.

"PERVERT!!!!!  SOMEONE, HELP!  THIS MAN IS NOT MY FATHER!  PERVERT!  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

There was a dull thud, and Usagi ran out of the room and added her frenzied shrieks to Quatre's.

Seconds later Kenji charged into the room armed with his baseball bat, only to see the tip of a cape disappear through the window.  Usagi and Quatre peeked back inside.

"Is it safe now?"

Kenji scowled dangerously.  "Damn straight it is.  No pervert's going to lay their hands on either of my two princesses," he growled dangerously before stalking out of the room.

Usagi and Quatre exchanged a look.  "Two princesses?" Quatre mouthed in confusion.  Usagi giggled silently and shrugged.

"I guess my family's taken to you, my dear Rumi.  Here's to chaos!" Usagi yelled happily, thrusting out her hand.

"To chaos!" Quatre echoed, giving her a high-five.