Chapter 2~~~Interrogations

How many days has it been? One day blends so easily to the next. One day at a time. I thought that was the solution… my days never end.

A claustrophobic room in the Ministry of Magic held three figures—Two Aurors certain of their responsibility and rightful place in the coming war and a man who liked to think of himself, whenever he did think of himself, as beyond mere definition. The endless, redundant inquiries of the Aurors droned on; the answers, in turn, were just as repetitive. Remus Lupin's mind wandered again under today's barrage. 30 interrogations, 14 days and nights, 12 Death Eaters, 6 broken bones, 3 hospitalizations, 1 death, 1 departure, what will the sum total of the mathematics of war be in the final tally?

"Are you not part of a loosely constructed organisation?"

"We know of Tonks, Mooney, and Shakelbolt, who else is involved?"

"The five of you just happened to meet each other and wander into a battle in the Department of Mysteries?"

"Well, I suppose we could not expect more considering your background."

"Are you expecting us to believe that students established D.A. without the influence of a similar adult group?"

"Your kind's undue influence over underage wizards and witches, such as young Potter undermines…"

THAT CRACKS IT.

Remus' voice was no longer quiet and controlled. Yes, it was still slow and deliberate; however, it had taken on a determined edge with belligerent undertones. "Gentlemen, and I do use that term loosely, I have come here daily for the last fortnight. I have answered insipid query, after question, after inquiry. In short gentlemen, to be succinct, I have had enough! Remus noticed that the one of the Aurors flinched as he looked to his older partner who merely seemed to view Remus with deepening contempt. Remus continued, he was resolved to put an end to this daily nonsense. "Either you two are hard-of-hearing, daft or a combination of the two for I have not altered the information henceforth delivered! Given that I believe our difficulty here is the latter and not the former I will attempt to make my position clear one, final time."

The older of the Aurors interrupted. "Mr. Lupin, there is no need to raise your voice…"

"No sir, you are quite correct there, not a need but in fact a requirement." Remus cut off any avenue for further debate. He continued, his words chosen precisely with his volume ever slowly increasing, "You may have the right to question my whereabouts, the right to question my activities, the right to assume that I am most dangerous if grievously provoked ---however, you have to no right whatsoever, to presume that I, and I assure you gentlemen I am not of a kind "kind" at this very moment, that I am a threat to Harry. I would never endanger Harry Potter; I have in the past, now, and always had Harry's best interests at the forefront of any of my actions."

Remus took a deep breath and regained his composure. "You have my statement as to my involvement in the activities of last month. Either detain me permanently now as the truly dangerous creature you seem to think I am, or end this folly now! There is far more important work that two skilled Aurors can accomplish in the defeat of the Dark Lord that is being encumbered by this needless charade!"

The two Aurors moved quickly together in a hushed, hurried conversation. Wonderful, you couldn't have just left out that last part about being permanently detained.

The elder of the Aurors looked at Remus with contempt as he said, "Very well Mr. Lupin, you are now permitted to leave. I warn you; however, that rogue activities are severely frowned upon by Mr. Fudge and the Ministry. I'd keep my nose clean and not try to sniff out trouble if I were you." With that the two Aurors left with a flourish.

It was all Remus could do to keep a civil tongue in his head as he departed the Ministry. Emmeline was right, these fools understand everything and nothing. Well, it is over now, just over---"Bloody hell!" Remus had blindly walked straight into a lamppost. !!!! Can't even see straight anymore! Walk it off, just walk it off, clear my head.

Remus found himself wandering the streets of London, his anger just barely contained below the surface. This was uncharted ground for him. This walk seemed to be accomplishing absolutely nothing; indeed, he was angrier than when he embarked. What is wrong with me? That farcical waste of time is done with, so why am I still so angry? If I could only just go back … never mind…thinking too much. Eventually Remus found himself walking along the Thames near the Tower of London. His legs told him that the nearby bench was a requirement not a luxury.

After a time Remus stood up and leaned on the wrought iron railing that lined the shore. The water has always been peaceful before. Perhaps just standing here for awhile. I just don't understand why I feel like this….could it be…too much thinking that is the problem, don't think. Too much thinking and I can't function. "What is the matter with me?" Remus asked the opposite shore, the anger still clear in his tone. The voice in his head that he had been trying to suppress all day broke free and answered loudly. ASK ME NO QUESTIONS, AND I'LL TELL YOU NO LIES. Remus shook his head to drown out the voice as he looked back from the horizon down to the base where he stood. Oh God! It was as if the answer to his question had leapt up slapped him in his face. Of all the irony of ironies, he was standing above the infamous Traitor's Gate.

Remus' mind began racing with the onslaught of thoughts as he started to pace along the waterfront, the physical reaction to the internal debate happening within his mind and heart. Betrayal has many forms Peter's is only the most obvious. SO WHO BETRAYED WHOM? AND WHEN? This is not one I want to face, this is what I have been avoiding, staying up every night to the point of exhaustion so thinking is not possible. WHAT WOULD YOU THINK IF YOU REALLY LET YOUR MIND GO? Well, I have just acquired all the time in the bloody world to think; now that I don't have to face more questions at the Ministry. AND WHOSE FAULT IS THAT? Excuses for not thinking are wearing thin. Fine, Peter isn't the only one I consider a traitor, far from it. "Damn it! Don't think about it! OH, BUT YOU HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT SOMETIME. Why? The internal struggle finally broke to the surface as Remus said bitterly aloud, "Why Sirius, didn't you ever…"

An equally bitter voice from behind Remus finished his question. "…stop to bloody well think about the rest of us? I've been asking that same question to the water for a week now, and I think it's about high time we had an answer. It is just a little thing that I want---an answer, but I haven't gotten one yet." The voice came from Tonks, who had been standing off behind Remus observing for who knew how long.