Sanity

Chapter 11

Need Her

By: Rachel*

Rated: PG-13

Genre: Romance/Drama

E-mail: PeachGirlKiley@aol.com

Web Address: www.Spike-Faye-Shrine.cjb.net

Laa! Enjoy! R+R I think you'll like this chapter everyone, Spike's reason for being in the hospital is revealed, but does he really know the truth behind it all? @__@ Dun-dun-dunnn… ^__^ READ + REVIEW!

Disclaimer: I do not own Cowboy Bebop

          Lying there in complete silence Spike clung onto her with all his might. She calmed him, kept him sane. She was his Sanity, the one that was keeping him going, he now lived to protect her, and she lived to protect him. Neither would admit it to one another out loud, but right then they knew.

          "Over here!" A man shouted with flashlights shining as they crunched through the leaves. Faye moved her head down and looked at Spike. He eyed a look, telling her to be silent without any words. "You think they went up stream sir?" With all the rustling going on Spike was able to roll onto his stomach. He laid his head onto his left side, and faced Faye before shutting his eyes.

          Faye mimicked him, and did the same. She held her breath as they came closer to the bush. One man sat on the bolder directly across from them. Faye rested her head into his shoulder and Spike did nothing to stop her. She let out a hushed rush of air as she stopped holding her breath. Spike shook his head. "Slow, deep breaths," he breathlessly spoke.

          Jack stomped over to the water and dipped his hand in. "No, it's too cold, we keep looking, they've probably headed east towards the highways. We'll head in that direction." Faye pulled back and Spike was staring at her idly why he waited until it was safe to move.

          He shut his eyes and bit down on his lip. "Shit," Spike cursed and rolled onto his back once it was safe. Faye closed her eyes and flinched when she moved her leg. "We're taking the long way…" He muttered and pointed north. "Straight though to Lake Elma," he sighed. "I think that's what it's called..." He trailed off in thought.

          "Lake Elmwood, not Elma…" Faye yawned and rolled her eyes.

          Spike smirked. "Same thing," for a second they were back to the way they used to be. The odd couple, partners, not friends who always fought and bickered over the simplest of things; Faye smiled missing these unrequited lovers quarrels that they'd have. Stretching his arms into the air his eyes jolted open and he doubled over, gripping at his hair and clawing at his face. "Make it stop!" He cried and dug his fist into the moist soil.

          Faye's lips parted as she crawled over and tried to grab his arms. He hit her across the chest and sent her flying back.

++++++

          "You left Spike…" A sharp crack came across his back and he screamed out in pain as blood seeped though his yellow shirt. "Tell me where it is Spike, where's the chip?" Spike groaned and spit blood onto the man's shoes.

          "Bastard…" Spike's voice was wavered and low.

          The man's eyes blazed with fury. "Again!" Spike cried out as the sharp cracks of a whip screamed across him several more times. His skin was torn into and bloody.

          "Stop! God, I don't know where your damned chip is!" He gripped onto the chains around his wrists, his knuckles were white. The man raised his hand and the torture stopped.

          "You don't…" The man's voice was inquisitive, and laced with malice. "Dear Spike, Vicious told us you had it…and you know he doesn't lie. Especially after what we did to him so long ago, do you want to know what that feels like Spike; do you want to know true pain?" The man was millimeters away from Spike's face, his eyes narrowed little slits. His fingers gripped onto Spike's tattered tie and he tightened it around his neck. Spike gagged and too a sharp inhale of breath when it loosened.

          Spike shook and coughed bowing his head. "I didn't lie to you, I swear with my life, I don't know what you're—" A gunshot rang though the air. Spike's eyes went wide as the bullet grazed his shoulder.

          "Take him." Spike's looked up at the man with horror stricken look across his face.

          "No, please…" Spike's eyes pleaded with the men in the room staring at him. "I don't know…" The man was dressed in white, with steel colored eyes. Spike eyed the man as he administered something into a needle. He smiled brightly at Spike.

          "Now, now…just stay still and it'll be over soon…well, or later, pending on how nice we are." He walked behind Spike and stuck the needle into his wrist.

          "Damn you," Spike swallowed. Moments passed, and the steel colored eyes burned into his brain, he'd never forget them. Spike's eyes rolled back and his mouth opened and he felt like he was drowning. "What's…wrong?" he lulled.

 

          The steel eyed man chuckled. "You're going to face every fear that you've ever dreamed about Spike, you've just made us your worst enemies…"

++

          "Spike," Julia sighed. Spike smiled hugging Julia tightly.

          "Julia…" His voice seemed to echo as he stared at his blonde haired beauty. "Marry me." He pulled out a ring after walking into the room.

          Julia's eyes widened. "Spike, what is this?" She shook her head in shock.

          "Julia, who is it?" Spike backed away as Vicious walked into the room in a pair of cotton pants. He yawned stretching his arms into the air. He looked at Spike and blinked. "Spike?" he frowned.

          Julia shook her head and dropped the ring to the ground. "I'm sorry Spike, but I love Vicious…"

++

          Blood, the smell, the feel, the taste…

          Spike ran his hands over his face and he backed into a wall. It was a wall of red. Blood, the wall fell onto his, a crimson waterfall. He shook and screamed as the floor disappeared and he fell into a bottomless pit.

++

          "Spike," He sat up. Spike was on the Bebop. He was lying in the hall by the bathroom. "Spike, why'd you hurt me so much Spike?" that voice, it was Faye's. Spike swallowed and stood up, reaching for to doorknob.

         "Faye, I didn't leave to die…I'm here now." He smiled, finally something he could face. "I won't hurt you ever—" He pushed the door open. Spike fell to his knees and his body shook. Faye lay, sprawled on the ground, eyes open three bullet wounds to the chest. He shook his head. "No…no, I didn't do that. I didn't hurt you!"

          "Spike?" he jumped to the sound.

          "Jet, its Faye!" Spike jumped up and ran into the living room. He wanted to cry. For the first time in years, he wanted to crawl under the blankets of his bed and cry himself into a dreamless sleep. Jet, Ed, and Ein were in the same condition as Faye.

          "You killed us Spi-Spi…why?" Ed's singsong voice was sad and pained.

          "Make it stop, God, I never did these things! Just kill me!" His nails cracked and bled as he dug them into the metal floor.

++

          White, everything was white. "Are you scared now Spike? We can make it stop…" He took in a sharp breath and looked around. Tears stained his cheeks. "Just tell us where the chip is." He smiled coyly.

          Spike swallowed and fell to his side. Coiled in a small ball Spike never felt so exposed or frightened in his life. His heart raced, his breath came in quick painful puffs. "J…Jarados." He stuttered. "Stop it…please, make it stop. That's all I know, Jarados!" Spike shouted the cities name like a broken record as he rocked back in forth. The white room soon turned into padded walls, and himself coiled was his body in a straitjacket.

          The seal eyed man tapped at the glass of the window. "Well, aren't you a good little boy Spike." He cooed. "Did you have fun in dreamland?" He let out a cackle of laughter. Spike couldn't move as his eyes scanned the room.

          "Make it stop…" His eyes rolled back and he screamed, arching his back and thrashing about.

          The man stared at Steel-eyes. "What the hells wrong with him?"

          He grimaced. "He's having an allergic reaction to the medications that bring him out of dreamland…" The man gritted his teeth. "Get him to the emergency room, quickly…"

          Spike screamed again and soon fell silent. The men in lab coats surrounded him…

++++++

          Faye breathed. She had him pinned to the ground. Arms held down by the wrists, her knees dug into his thighs. He stopped struggling suddenly. Faye's eyes looked him over. Spike's brown eyes rolled back. He didn't move at first. He took two soft breaths and shuttered. Turning his head he looked up and right through Faye. "Oh, God…" He breathed.

          Faye wet her lips in and wiped away the beads of seat from his face. "Spike, are you okay, what happened?" Her violet locks brushed against his cheek and he flinched to the touch.

          "It's my fault." He shook. Faye sat up as she felt his arms try to pull back. They reached into the air and grasped the strong gust of wind and sent Faye's hair flying. She shivered and rubbed her arms. "I knew…I knew…" He sat up and pushed Faye away. He rocked back and forth.

          Faye didn't know what was going on. It was like he wasn't even there with her. "Spike, look at me. What did you know, what's your fault? Is this about the little boy?" She touched his shoulder and he froze. He was so tense.

         "I'm so sorry." He began to shake and shuttered out a cry. Faye's green eyes grew in bewilderment. "I didn't mean to hurt you Faye." He reached back and took her hand. Faye blinked. Was he with her, fully there with her? Or was he still dreaming? "Just don't die…you're not dead…you're not…you're…" He rolled his head back and screamed the tears rolled over the sides of his cheeks and Faye threw her arms out and embraced him. Tears met tears, hearts broke.

          "What did they do to you…Spike, I'm right here." She'd never seen him so upset. She forced back the pain in her leg and dragged Spike to his feet after he'd calmed down some.

          He shook his head into her shoulder. "Don't go, I won't leave you again, I mean that. Please, don't die—" Faye threw him into the stream.

          "Damn it, wake up Spike!" Faye shouted and fell in after putting too much weight on her leg again. Spike fell silent. He blinked and looked at her. Not through her, at her.

          No emotion just parted lips and two-toned wide eyes. "Faye…" he wrapped his arms around himself for a moment. "I didn't mean for you to see that…" He bit down on his lower lip as she gazed at him with a look he'd never seen in her. New emotions, new circumstances and a love that was growing close again…

          "Spike…what'd they do?" She leaned in and he met her halfway. His face lay against her cheek and he frowned as a tear ran overtop of his fingers. He leaned in bit more and kissed it away. Faye's lips parted and she sighed shuttering against his cold hands as he lifted her out and onto the bank of the little stream.

          "Nothing that you need to know right now Faye…" He hovered over her, water droplets from his hair landed onto her face as he sighed and leaned forward and kissed her with everything he had to give. "I love you…" Faye's eyes closed and more tears followed. She needed to know, know everything about him. He'd changed so much since she'd see him leave her stranded in the hall of the Bebop. They had changed…

          Their lives would no longer be as simple as it used to be. No petty arguments, no carefree laughter and teasing each other, they'd moved past that and had formed a relationship neither had asked for. Love, love that kept them sane, love that kept them alive… "Spike," she whispered as he pulled away. she lied in his arms, her head rested against his chest.

          "I'm sorry for before, I'm sorry for now, for everything—" She pressed her fingertips to his lips.

          Faye ran her fingers through his hair and traced his face. "Just…" She shook her head. "Don't hold back from me anymore. Swear to that. If we want to stay like this, swear to it…"

          He kissed her again. "I swear to it Faye." She shivered and rolled onto her side meeting his gaze as the sun began to rise. His fingers brushed though her damp locks. "I won't leave you, again." He whispered as Faye leaned her forehead into his.

Love…Isn't So Bad…

R+R! He said it! He said it! ::smiles:: so…what did you think of what Spike's been scared of? @_@ Psycho man with steel colored eyes! Will it be the last time you read about him?! TELL ME IN YOUR REVIEWS! *_*