Helping James

By: Athena Diagon Cat

Disclaimer: I own my weirdness, not Harry Potter characters. Come to think of it, I don't even own my weirdness. No one does.

*~*~*

            The next week was highly entertaining, as Sirius had started going around with Bob the bowling pin, attempting to give Snape a permanent concussion. The most amusing part by far, would be when Snape ran off screaming.

             James, though, was still sulking. He was lonely, as Magicia wouldn't let him flirt with random girls, ask out Lily yet, or hang out with Sirius.

            "But Ma-a-gic! He's my best friend!" he whined.

            "Sorry, James, but as long as Sirius is on a Snape-bashing quest with that bowling pin, you can't be seen with him by Lily!" James got an odd look in his eyes.

            "Then let's get rid of the bowling pin!" Magicia slapped her forehead.

            "Now, why didn't I think of that?!"

*~*~*

            The next day, Magicia and James were looking for fellow Gryffindors to help get rid of Sirius's 'bowling pin of doom', as they were beginning to call it. Only Lily, Remus, Andromeda Black, and Teddy Tonks wanted to help. They formed a secret club, which they called 'The Sirius Stoppers Committee', or 'T.S.S.C.' for short.

            "Alright, here's the plan," Lily whispered. "Remus, you distract Sirius. Magicia, Andromeda, and Teddy, you distract everyone else. I'll get the bowling pin, and Potter and transfigure it into something harmless." She glared at James, as if to say, 'if it isn't harmless, I'll kill you.' Everyone nodded, and went to their positions, and waited for Sirius to enter the common room.

            When Sirius did enter, Remus went up to him, and started talking to him about if he'd seen his book. Magicia started screaming about evil monkey people, and Andromeda and Teddy started yelling at each other about the correct answer to a particularly difficult question in their potions homework. As the common room watched Magicia and the fight, Lily whispered a charm, causing the bowling pin to go invisible briefly, and then appear in her hands. She crawled over to James, who was hiding behind a chair. James turned it into a stuffed monkey, which had a particularly evil look on its face, which resembled Sirius when he was attacking Snape. Lily stifled a laugh, and stood up, holding the monkey.

            "Is this the evil monkey person?" She asked. Magicia looked at it, and screamed.

            "It's the evil monkey! Noooooooooooooooo!" She ran off to the girl's dorms.

            "Andy, Teddy, both of you are wrong. The answer to that question is moonstone," said James.

            "Opps." They said.

            "Hey! Where's Bob?" Sirius asked, looking around the common room, as Remus had just spotted his book.

            "I haven't seen him," said Lily, "but you can have the monkey."

            "Eddy!" Sirius squealed, and grabbed the monkey from Lily, "Oh, Eddy, I love you!"

*~*~*

            At breakfast the next morning, Sirius bounced up to Snape, who cowered in his seat.

            "Morning Snivvy. Bob ran away." Snape looked relived. Sirius grinned evilly. "This is Eddy."

            "NOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Snape ran out of the Great Hall. Sirius turned to his friends.

            "Who knew Snivvy was afraid of monkeys?"

*~*~*

For those people who didn't read the 5th book carefully enough, Andromeda Black is Sirius's favorite cousin, and Teddy Tonks is her future muggle-born husband. I though I'd add them in this story.

Now, gentile readers, REVIEW!!!!!!!

-Athena Diagon Cat

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REVIEW OR EDDY WILL TORMENT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!