NOTE: GO BACK AND RE-READ THE FIRST THREE CHAPTERS!!!!!!
READ THE FOLLOWING
I've rewritten the background on this story, because of the fact that much of it is highly unlikely.
Here are the changes I've made, if you're too lazy to go back and re-read.
First, I corrected the mistakes that Nikka brought my attention to, like the fact that Cologne is Shampoo's great grandmother and that Akane's age was all wrong.
Second, I've eliminated the image of Nerima being a bad city. Instead, it's just like it was before, but most of the Ranma crew has moved.
Third, the old house is no longer a criminal inn, instead it's owned by an old couple as a bread and breakfast.
Fourth, and possibly MOST IMPORTANT, the fact that Akane was not raped by a criminal. Instead, she started dating a guy for about six months, who was really nice to her and treated her like a princess. Then, one day, he knocked her unconscious and took advantage of her. It's more believable this way, because Akane trusted the guy and wouldn't have expected it from him, so she didn't have a chance to fight back.
Fifth, the Kuno's do NOT fund Nerima anymore. And they weren't arrested. Instead, Kodachi blew all of their money on private investigators for Ranma, but they ripped her off, taking the money and running. Then, the Kuno's lost the rest of their money trying to become wealthy again, and then they disappeared from Nerima.
I think these changes make the story a heck of a lot more plausible without taking away from my original plot. So, to recap,
THERE ARE NO MORE CRIMINALS!
Okay? Also, to answer a few of you impatient reviewers, here are a list of things that I will be addressing in the next few chapters that you guys couldn't seem to wait for..
FIRST, I will explain why Ranma was gone for so long, what he did for six years, and how he was cured. Plus why he seems different now.
SECOND, I will go into detail about the relationship that Akane had with Daigosuke for those six months before he raped her and disappeared.
THIRD, I will explain Nabiki's disappearance. Don't worry, I haven't killed her off.
FOURTH, I will go into detail about how everyone else is doing at the moment, like Ukyo and Ryouga, as well as everyone else.
FIFTH, as an added bonus, I'll have flashbacks of Akane's pregnancy days and how she raised Kenji.
SO BE PATIENT!!!!!!!!!!!
Also, I hope I haven't disappointed anyone with these changes, but they really do improve the story, in my opinion.
Hehe, okay, now that I've gotten that over with, here are my responses to reviews;
A READER.
THANK YOU! You're advice was a huge help in my rewrite. I'm very grateful that you put it into perspective like that. I hope this rewrite makes the story a heck of a lot more believable, and the few things that I have not addressed, including the character developments I seem to lack, I will be including later on. Much of this story is going to be flashbacks, but not here in the first few chapters. So, I hope this helps. Please review me again and give me some feedback, I could use it from talented critics like you.
FINAL FAN.
I'm sorry that my threat upsetted you so much. I only do that to make sure that my story is worth uploading. For the most part, I write these stories for myself, no matter what others think. But if others seem to enjoy it, I'll put it up on this site so that people can get as much out of it as I do, and so that I can get a chance to get some serious feedback on ways to improve the storyline. And don't worry; I will explain in detail what happened to Ranma.
ARCIA.
Lol, YES, Akane is very stressed. Something that I'll go into more detail about later on, including the fact that she barely survived childbirth, and never fully recovered. I'm glad you enjoy reviewing, 'cuz I love reading them! Thanks so much, and please continue to review. I hope the changes don't disappoint you.
ELYSIUM AND LONELY SOUL.
There will be PLENTY of Ranma/Akane romance in this story, don't worry. Sorry about the wait for updating, if only school didn't get in the way!!! Kenji is my favorite character, he's sooo cute^^. Anyway, thanks for the review, and I hope the changes I made don't change your opinion. Review and let me know.
AnimeObssesionFantasy.
Thanks so much for the review. You're the only reviewer I have besides Star Cherry who reviews both of my stories, and I really, really appreciate that. Please review again and tell me what you think of the rewrite.
WADEVA2390.
It's always nice to get a new reviewer. Thanks for the compliment on the reunion scene; I'm really happy with the way that turned out. I hope you enjoy this chapter and that the rewrite doesn't disappoint! Ja!
WITCH SILESTIAL.
That's so sweet! I'm glad to hear that you'd even mention that Rumiko Takashi would like it, that's a huge compliment. The plot is still the same, despite the rewrite, and I hope it's still as interesting as you say it is. Thanks for the praise on the reunion scene, I liked it too. Thanks again!
NIKKA.
I'm so happy that you liked the changes I made. I'm very glad that it didn't compromise the storyline. Please review and tell me what you think about the rewrite, PLEASE! Don't worry about getting on my case, you were completely right. I know what you mean, stories like that can be extremely frustrating to read. Also, I had no idea that there was another story called "Abandoned." Who's it written by? Is it still a Ranma story? Please tell me so that I can contact her to see if she wants me to change the title...
CROSSEYEDBUTTERFLY.
Thanks so much for all the compliments on the reunion scene! I'm very happy with how it turned out, and I'm glad to see that you guys do too. I'll also have to check out your friend's account too...
SATURN ANGEL.
THANKS! I'm very glad that someone understands where I'm going with this story as a reality-based story. I hope the rewrite didn't change your opinion; the plot is still the same. Thanks again, hope you like this chapter.
WHITE FOX 612.
I swear I didn't kill Nabiki! She will come in later chapters, and I'll explain what happened to her, don't worry. Hope you like this chapter, thanks for the review!
AMAYASARIA.
Thanks for the review. I'm glad that so many people enjoy this story and wanted me to update, it means a lot to me. Please review after this chapter and tell me what you think of the rewrite. Thanks again!
STAR..
I'M HAPPY YOU ENJOYED THE STORY SO MUCH!!!!! I love getting such enthusiastic reviews^^. I really hope you like this story, and that the rewrite doesn't change your opinion of it. Please keep reviewing, and I'll keep writing! Thanks!
AMEANDA-90..
Have you read my other stories? I'm so glad to hear it! I absolutely love it when people get a chance to read all of them, not just one. I hope you like this update; I'll be updating my other stories soon too. I hope the rewrite doesn't scare all of my reviewers away; the plot is still the same. Thanks so much for the review!
STAR CHERRY..
I don't even know if you'll read this, but thanks for the review anyway!!!!! Thanks for all of the praise, and I can't wait to update on our story. Have fun on your vacation, and come back soon!! I'm going to miss my partner in crime, hehe. Bye!!!!!!!!!
Okay, enough of that. Here's chapter four, and remember to keep the changes I made in mind. Also, don't despair if you liked the story the way it was. The plot is still the same; the only major difference is that Nerima isn't a dump anymore, hehe.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Rumiko Takashi characters. I do, however, own certain characters of my own creation, including Kenji. Please, if you think I've copied a part of your story, let me know by emailing me (see profile), and if you want to do a story with a similar plot, email me and tell me your idea. Okay?
On with chapter 4 of Abandoned...
.......................................
"MOMMY!" Kenji yelled excitedly, running and jumping at his soaked mother.
Akane caught him in mid-air, twirling him around once.
"Mommy! You're getting me all wet!" he scolded playfully.
Akane shook her hair, sending water droplets flying everywhere, especially on Kenji.
"oh, I'm soooo sorry!" she said sarcastically, tickling him in the stomach.
Kenji giggled before noticing Ranma behind her.
"Hi Ranma! Did you make mommy stop crying yet?" he asked, smiling.
Akane turned to look at him as he blushed a deep crimson. "What's he talking about?"
Ranma spread his hands out in front of him in a 'I don't know what he's talking about' gesture.
"You know kids, always saying something.." He laughed nervously.
Akane looked at him suspiciously for a moment before turning back to her oblivious son.
"So, what did you do today?" she asked, putting him down and trying to shake the water off of her apron and kimono.
Immediately Kenji launched into a huge discussion about every toy that he and Souta had played with that afternoon, talking about a mile a minute.
Akane just nodded her head every few minutes while she wrung out her hair.
Ranma disappeared for a few minutes before returning with a white towel that he held out to her.
"Thanks" she said, taking the towel.
"And then," Kenji continued, "I was playing with that blue ball that Uncle Tofu gave me when it went out into the street and I got lost while I was trying to find it and there were these two guys but then Ranma came and told me not to be scared and I found my ball but then we couldn't find auntie Kasumi.."
Akane stopped for a moment. "What?" she asked.
Kasumi hurried out of the kitchen, embracing her sister in a hug while gently pushing Kenji behind her.
"oh dear, Akane, you're soaked! Come on upstairs and I'll see if I can find something dry for you to wear." she said, leading Akane up the stairs.
Ranma knelt down to Kenji's eye level. "Say, kid. How about we play a game, okay?"
Kenji smiled excitedly. "A game? Yay! I love games!"
Ranma nodded, grinning. "Can you keep a secret?"
Kenji nodded emphatically. "sure I can!"
Ranma nodded again. "Okay then, why don't we pretend that the story about those two guys we met is a secret, okay? First one to tell the secret loses, alright? And whoever wins gets a..a."
"A what?" Kenji asked anxiously.
Ranma thought for a moment before rummaging through his jacket pocket. He pulled out a small gold chain with a small, silver sword charm on it.
"This. It's a martial arts charm I got on my journey. It's supposed to bring you good luck and make you strong." He said, holding it out for him to see.
Kenji's green eyes grew wide as he watched the small charm dangle in front of him.
Ranma smiled, handing it to him. "Here, you can have it for now. But," he added, holding out a finger warningly, "if you tell the secret, the deal's off, and you've got to give it back, okay?"
Kenji grabbed the chain eagerly, nodding. He looked up as Ranma stood up again. "I promise I won't tell! I promise! I always keep my promises, I really do!!"
Ranma grinned. "I believe you kid, now go get your stuff, as soon as your mom changed we'll be out of here."
Kenji turned, but then turned back, somewhat uncertain. "You are coming with us, aren't you?"
Ranma smiled and knelt down again. "I'm coming with you."
Kenji sighed happily. "good. You promise you won't leave us for ever and ever?"
Ranma hesitated. "Alright kid, I promise I won't leave you if I can help it, okay?"
"Okay!" he said, running off to pack his stuff.
"sure you can keep that promise?" a voice said from behind him.
Ranma turned around. Dr. Tofu handed him a cup of tea, taking a sip of his own.
"I hope so" he replied, sipping at the tea.
Back upstairs, Akane was handing Kasumi a dripping kimono.
"Are you sure you don't mind, Kasumi?"
Kasumi waved it off. "of course not. I'll have this dry for you by tomorrow."
Akane nodded. "Thanks Kasumi." She said, slipping on a skirt, blouse, and a raincoat on over that.
"No problem." Kasumi hesitated before asking, "Are you alright, Akane?"
Akane was about to say she was fine when she noticed the look on Kasumi's face. Kasumi was too smart for that.
Finally, she relented. "I don't know." She said simply.
Kasumi nodded and started toward the door. "Things will get better now Akane, don't worry." She called back before opening the door and disappearing down the hall.
Akane sighed. "I hope you're right."
....................................
"Ready to go?" Akane asked.
Kenji nodded, showing her his blue and red stripped backpack. "I'm all packed!"
Akane smiled. "good. Button up your coat or else you'll get cold out in the rain."
Kenji pouted. "C'mon mom, it's so much fun to get wet! Right Ranma?"
Ranma smiled. "it sure is, I used to love jumping in the puddles when I was your age."
Akane frowned. "Ranma! You're not helping, you know!"
"You didn't let me finish. I would jump in the puddles every time it rained, but then I'd always get sick the day after and I wouldn't be able to go play outside all day!" he warned.
Kenji hurriedly buttoned up his coat. "Not go outside all day? That's horrible!" he said.
Akane gave Ranma a small smile before turning back to Kasumi and Dr. Tofu.
"Thanks so much for watching him." She said, bowing her head slightly.
"No problem. We love having Kenji over, don't ever be afraid to ask." Tofu said, smiling.
Akane smiled back. "Thanks. I'll see you two later, have a good night." She said, herding Kenji out the door.
Ranma waved one hand at them. "See ya." He said, following after Akane and Kenji.
After the three of them had left, Kasumi turned back to her husband.
"Do you think they'll okay back together?" she asked.
Tofu put an arm around his wife, having finally gotten over his weird behavior around her when he managed to propose to her. "I'm sure they'll be fine. Those two might be stubborn, but they aren't stupid."
"I hope you're right."
....................................
Akane closed the door behind them as they entered the dojo.
A flood of memories seized Ranma's mind as he gazed around such a familiar place, covered with such unfamiliar screens and furniture.
He turned back to see Akane having trouble carrying Kenji to his room.
"Here, I'll do it." He said, appearing at her side and taking a sleeping Kenji from her gently. "Where's his room?"
Akane pointed to the back room. "The two of us share the bedroom in the back, behind the curtain. He sleeps in the smaller bed."
Ranma nodded and headed off in that direction while Akane put Kenji's bag on their small, wooden table. She shook the water from her hair before slipping to the back room to see her son.
She stopped right before entering, instead holding the curtain a little ways open so that she could watch as Ranma pulled the covers over the sleeping kid. Ranma stood there for a second before turning back, only to notice Akane's face in the doorway.
"oh, hey." Was all he could say.
Akane smiled and held a finger to her lips in a gesture to be quiet. She slipped over to the bedside and tucked the covers in around Kenji before motioning for Ranma to follow her out of the room.
As soon as the two of them were in the makeshift kitchen, Akane spoke.
"There's not much room.."
Ranma motioned it off. "That's okay, I'll sleep on the couch or something. I'm just glad to be out of the rain."
Akane nodded. She was about to leave but changed her mind. "Do you want some tea?"
Ranma nodded. "uh, sure, I guess."
As soon as Akane turned around, Ranma remembered Akane's horrible cooking skills and suddenly regretted his answer. He waited with dread as Akane quickly poured the tea and handed him a cup.
Ranma gritted his teeth before taking a sip.
But, it was fine. There was no horrible after taste, no bitter sourness, no spicy hot burning sensation. It was perfectly fine.
Ranma must have looked surprised, because Akane replied, "After Kenji was born, Cologne and Kasumi helped me learn how to cook."
"oh, that's good I guess.not that your cooking was bad before, ..I mean.."
Akane sighed. "Just forget it Ranma."
Ranma nodded. He hadn't felt this awkward in a long time, and it was starting to really get on his nerves.
Akane was dying to ask him about his trip, and about the fact that he was obviously wet and yet wasn't a girl, but she wasn't sure if he was ready to tell her, or if she was even ready to hear the answer, so she refrained, deciding to find out when Ranma decided to tell her.
Ranma was thinking almost the exact same thing about what exactly had happened to her. He would wait until she offered that piece of information.
"Kasumi said you worked at a café." Ranma said, desperate to say something.
Akane nodded. "yeah, it's a small place a little ways from here. I hope Kasumi can get my kimono dry by tomorrow evening, or else my boss isn't going to be very happy with me." She replied, clawing frantically within her mind for something else to say.
"Do I know it?"
"I don't think so, it was built after you..after you left."
"Oh"
The tense silence seemed to envelope the room.
Finally, Ranma noticed the slump in Akane's shoulders and the bags under her eyes. Guilt crashed over him, wave upon wave.
"uh, look, you need some sleep. I'll just crash on the couch, if you don't mind."
Akane didn't even object. She just nodded, putting their empty tea cups into the small sink and pointing toward another blocked off screen room.
"There should be some blankets already in there on the couch. The bathroom is on the right."
Ranma stood and nodded, heading towards the door. "Night, 'Kane." He mumbled before disappearing behind the screen.
A pang of sorrow welled up in Akane's throat. How long had she been waiting to hear those words again?
"Night, Ranma" she whispered before drifting off to sleep that night.
That night, Akane didn't have any nightmares.
....................................
"Ranma! Catch!" Kenji yelled, throwing the small blue ball as hard as his little arms could throw.
Ranma easily caught it. "Hey, good throw Kenji!" He spotted Akane on sitting on the porch a few steps away, sweeping. A small grin grew on his face.
He motioned for Kenji to run across the yard over to him so he could whisper in his ear.
Akane was sweeping when she noticed it had suddenly gotten very quiet. She turned her head to see if something was wrong when she came face to face with two grinning boys.
"What are you.." She started to ask before she was pummeled with snowballs.
"ouch!....hey!...stop that!....argghhh!" she yelled, covering her face with one hand and swinging the broomstick with another.
"We need more ammo!" Ranma yelled, running off with Kenji in tow to the nearest pile of snow on the ground that had fallen last night.
"Oh no you don't!!" Akane yelled, slipping over to a nearby pile and quickly making a small, round ball in her mittened hands.
"Take this!" Ranma yelled, turning around to throw it when a snowball splattered in his face. He spit the snow out of his mouth.
Kenji giggled helplessly from his pile.
Ranma turned on him. "What are you laughing at?!" he said, throwing his snowball playfully at him instead.
Kenji ducked behind the snowman they had made earlier.
"No fair! We're supposed to be on the same team!" he called.
Ranma grinned, popping up behind him and tickling his sides. "You're the one who attacked me, remember?!"
Akane giggled watching the two of them. She smiled. It felt like old times, when they were back in high school together.
It had been almost two weeks since Ranma had returned. And ever since then, Akane's nightmares had disappeared. Now, Ranma watched Kenji while Akane worked, and the two of them had hit it off. The awkward feeling had disappeared between Ranma and Akane, although they still avoided the subject of what went on in those lost six years, both unsure if they were ready to discuss it.
Akane's mind returned to reality when she heard Kenji calling her.
"Mommy! Can I stay home from school today? Please?" he begged.
Akane smiled. "You know you can't. Besides, you like school, remember? You'll have fun, I promise."
"Yeah kid, school's not that bad. We can finish this when you get back, k?"
Kenji smiled happily. "Okay!"
"Hey! Kenji! C'mon, we're gonna be late!" Souta yelled from the gate.
Kenji nodded before waving to his mom. "Bye mom!"
Akane waved back, watching him run towards Souta. "Bye!"
"See you after school Ranma!"
"See ya kid!" Ranma yelled back.
Kenji disappeared around the corner with Souta and Kasumi, who walked with him to school every morning.
"I've got to be at work in about an hour" Akane said.
Ranma looked at her for a moment before replying, "Why don't you take the day off?"
Akane looked up. "C'mon Ranma, you know I can't do that.."
"Why not? You could use a day to rest."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Ranma sighed. "I only meant that it's not good for you if you just work all the time. You need to rest too."
"I know that. I get plenty of rest, don't worry about me." She said, putting the broom back in the shed on the side of the dojo.
Ranma sighed before turning at the sound of a door opening.
"Hello there." The old man called from the house/inn.
"Hello Sauchira-san." Akane called. "How's your wife?"
"She's doing fine, thanks. What about you?"
"good, thanks for asking." She called back.
Sauchira nodded before disappearing into the once Tendo household.
"one of these days, I'll get that house back.." Ranma muttered to himself, following Akane back into the dojo.
Akane slipped the cherry blossom clip up into her short hair. "What time are you going over to the Cat café?" she asked.
Ranma slumped down into a chair. "You know the old bat, she wants me there early enough so she can rant at me."
"Ranma...," she stopped for a moment before venturing on. "Why..why are you here?"
Ranma's brow furrowed. "What are you talking about Akane?"
Akane paused, considering her words. "It's not that I don't want you here, but..but..there's nothing here anymore. Everyone's left, it's just me, Kenji, and Kasumi. There's no more ghost cats, no Kuno's, no fiancés, no perverts, no Chinese curses, no crazy high school principals, no nothing. I..I don't have anything to offer. Don't you want to find your dad? Or Ryouga and Ukyo?"
Ranma looked at Akane's down turned eyes. He wanted more than anything to tell her that wasn't true, that she had everything to offer him, and that it was enough that she was the only one left.
"Akane, I..."
Before he could finish, the two of them jumped at the sound of a huge crashing sound from outside. The two of them rushed out to the front yard.
From the looks of it, someone had crashed into the large oak tree near the gate and it had fallen over, knocking down some of the wall with it. They could hear two voices yelling at each other from the other side of the tree.
"I take it back, apparently even this place isn't that peaceful." Akane mentioned sardonically.
Ranma frowned suspiciously. "Is it just me, or do those voices sound awfully familiar?"
Akane started towards the tree. "Yeah, you're right..they do sound a little like those two..."
"but it couldn't be.." Ranma muttered, matching his pace with hers.
The two of them rounded the side of the tree and their jaws dropped.
"Ranma-honey!!!"
....................................
"Ukyo?!" Ranma managed to bite out disbelievingly as Ukyo threw her arms around him.
"Ryouga?! Is that really you?" Akane said, watching the black-haired boy rubbing a large bruise on his head.
"Akane! It's so good to see you!" Ryouga said, still nursing his head. "You haven't changed a bit!"
Akane blushed. "Um.thanks, I guess. What are you guys doing here? Your last postcard said you were in northern Japan, why'd you suddenly come all the way down here?" she asked.
Ukyo pulled away from a still-stunned Ranma to answer. "Cologne sent us a telegram telling us that Ranma was back about two weeks ago. So of course we had to come down! Besides, we were planning on coming back a couple of months earlier anyway to see how you and Kenji were doing, if a certain SOMEBODY hadn't gotten lost again!!" she said, glaring at the boy with the bump on his head.
"It's not my fault that the map was wrong!" Ryouga defended.
"IT WAS UPSIDE DOWN YOU IDIOT!" Ukyo yelled.
Akane stepped between them. "Why don't we all go inside, I was making breakfast anyway."
"That sounds great! I haven't had anything but Okinamiyaki for the last five months.." Ryouga muttered.
"What's wrong with that?!" Ukyo yelled, following him towards the house.
"Um, ..what about the tree Akane?" Ranma said, staring at the large hole in the wall.
Akane shrugged, sighing. "Things never change...I guess I was wrong Ranma."
"What?" Ranma asked, following her back to the dojo.
"When I said that the world didn't revolve around you. I was wrong, obviously. Two weeks after you come back and I've already got a hole in my wall."
....................................
Well, did ya like it? This one was a little short too, but the next chapter should be pretty long.
We're finally starting to get into the plot a bit more. In the next couple of chapters we'll find out what happened to Akane six years ago, and why Ranma isn't a girl anymore. Plus, look forward to numerous reunions as the wrecking crew gets back together.
Go Review, Please!!!!! Tell me what you think of the rewrite of the background info on this story, and don't forget to check out my other stories too, which I'll be updating tomorrow. I hope you guys liked this, it took me all day Saturday to rewrite the story AND get another chapter written, so you guys better be appreciative, lol.
Anyway, have a good weekend and Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day! Ja ne!
~Vixie
READ THE FOLLOWING
I've rewritten the background on this story, because of the fact that much of it is highly unlikely.
Here are the changes I've made, if you're too lazy to go back and re-read.
First, I corrected the mistakes that Nikka brought my attention to, like the fact that Cologne is Shampoo's great grandmother and that Akane's age was all wrong.
Second, I've eliminated the image of Nerima being a bad city. Instead, it's just like it was before, but most of the Ranma crew has moved.
Third, the old house is no longer a criminal inn, instead it's owned by an old couple as a bread and breakfast.
Fourth, and possibly MOST IMPORTANT, the fact that Akane was not raped by a criminal. Instead, she started dating a guy for about six months, who was really nice to her and treated her like a princess. Then, one day, he knocked her unconscious and took advantage of her. It's more believable this way, because Akane trusted the guy and wouldn't have expected it from him, so she didn't have a chance to fight back.
Fifth, the Kuno's do NOT fund Nerima anymore. And they weren't arrested. Instead, Kodachi blew all of their money on private investigators for Ranma, but they ripped her off, taking the money and running. Then, the Kuno's lost the rest of their money trying to become wealthy again, and then they disappeared from Nerima.
I think these changes make the story a heck of a lot more plausible without taking away from my original plot. So, to recap,
THERE ARE NO MORE CRIMINALS!
Okay? Also, to answer a few of you impatient reviewers, here are a list of things that I will be addressing in the next few chapters that you guys couldn't seem to wait for..
FIRST, I will explain why Ranma was gone for so long, what he did for six years, and how he was cured. Plus why he seems different now.
SECOND, I will go into detail about the relationship that Akane had with Daigosuke for those six months before he raped her and disappeared.
THIRD, I will explain Nabiki's disappearance. Don't worry, I haven't killed her off.
FOURTH, I will go into detail about how everyone else is doing at the moment, like Ukyo and Ryouga, as well as everyone else.
FIFTH, as an added bonus, I'll have flashbacks of Akane's pregnancy days and how she raised Kenji.
SO BE PATIENT!!!!!!!!!!!
Also, I hope I haven't disappointed anyone with these changes, but they really do improve the story, in my opinion.
Hehe, okay, now that I've gotten that over with, here are my responses to reviews;
A READER.
THANK YOU! You're advice was a huge help in my rewrite. I'm very grateful that you put it into perspective like that. I hope this rewrite makes the story a heck of a lot more believable, and the few things that I have not addressed, including the character developments I seem to lack, I will be including later on. Much of this story is going to be flashbacks, but not here in the first few chapters. So, I hope this helps. Please review me again and give me some feedback, I could use it from talented critics like you.
FINAL FAN.
I'm sorry that my threat upsetted you so much. I only do that to make sure that my story is worth uploading. For the most part, I write these stories for myself, no matter what others think. But if others seem to enjoy it, I'll put it up on this site so that people can get as much out of it as I do, and so that I can get a chance to get some serious feedback on ways to improve the storyline. And don't worry; I will explain in detail what happened to Ranma.
ARCIA.
Lol, YES, Akane is very stressed. Something that I'll go into more detail about later on, including the fact that she barely survived childbirth, and never fully recovered. I'm glad you enjoy reviewing, 'cuz I love reading them! Thanks so much, and please continue to review. I hope the changes don't disappoint you.
ELYSIUM AND LONELY SOUL.
There will be PLENTY of Ranma/Akane romance in this story, don't worry. Sorry about the wait for updating, if only school didn't get in the way!!! Kenji is my favorite character, he's sooo cute^^. Anyway, thanks for the review, and I hope the changes I made don't change your opinion. Review and let me know.
AnimeObssesionFantasy.
Thanks so much for the review. You're the only reviewer I have besides Star Cherry who reviews both of my stories, and I really, really appreciate that. Please review again and tell me what you think of the rewrite.
WADEVA2390.
It's always nice to get a new reviewer. Thanks for the compliment on the reunion scene; I'm really happy with the way that turned out. I hope you enjoy this chapter and that the rewrite doesn't disappoint! Ja!
WITCH SILESTIAL.
That's so sweet! I'm glad to hear that you'd even mention that Rumiko Takashi would like it, that's a huge compliment. The plot is still the same, despite the rewrite, and I hope it's still as interesting as you say it is. Thanks for the praise on the reunion scene, I liked it too. Thanks again!
NIKKA.
I'm so happy that you liked the changes I made. I'm very glad that it didn't compromise the storyline. Please review and tell me what you think about the rewrite, PLEASE! Don't worry about getting on my case, you were completely right. I know what you mean, stories like that can be extremely frustrating to read. Also, I had no idea that there was another story called "Abandoned." Who's it written by? Is it still a Ranma story? Please tell me so that I can contact her to see if she wants me to change the title...
CROSSEYEDBUTTERFLY.
Thanks so much for all the compliments on the reunion scene! I'm very happy with how it turned out, and I'm glad to see that you guys do too. I'll also have to check out your friend's account too...
SATURN ANGEL.
THANKS! I'm very glad that someone understands where I'm going with this story as a reality-based story. I hope the rewrite didn't change your opinion; the plot is still the same. Thanks again, hope you like this chapter.
WHITE FOX 612.
I swear I didn't kill Nabiki! She will come in later chapters, and I'll explain what happened to her, don't worry. Hope you like this chapter, thanks for the review!
AMAYASARIA.
Thanks for the review. I'm glad that so many people enjoy this story and wanted me to update, it means a lot to me. Please review after this chapter and tell me what you think of the rewrite. Thanks again!
STAR..
I'M HAPPY YOU ENJOYED THE STORY SO MUCH!!!!! I love getting such enthusiastic reviews^^. I really hope you like this story, and that the rewrite doesn't change your opinion of it. Please keep reviewing, and I'll keep writing! Thanks!
AMEANDA-90..
Have you read my other stories? I'm so glad to hear it! I absolutely love it when people get a chance to read all of them, not just one. I hope you like this update; I'll be updating my other stories soon too. I hope the rewrite doesn't scare all of my reviewers away; the plot is still the same. Thanks so much for the review!
STAR CHERRY..
I don't even know if you'll read this, but thanks for the review anyway!!!!! Thanks for all of the praise, and I can't wait to update on our story. Have fun on your vacation, and come back soon!! I'm going to miss my partner in crime, hehe. Bye!!!!!!!!!
Okay, enough of that. Here's chapter four, and remember to keep the changes I made in mind. Also, don't despair if you liked the story the way it was. The plot is still the same; the only major difference is that Nerima isn't a dump anymore, hehe.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Rumiko Takashi characters. I do, however, own certain characters of my own creation, including Kenji. Please, if you think I've copied a part of your story, let me know by emailing me (see profile), and if you want to do a story with a similar plot, email me and tell me your idea. Okay?
On with chapter 4 of Abandoned...
.......................................
"MOMMY!" Kenji yelled excitedly, running and jumping at his soaked mother.
Akane caught him in mid-air, twirling him around once.
"Mommy! You're getting me all wet!" he scolded playfully.
Akane shook her hair, sending water droplets flying everywhere, especially on Kenji.
"oh, I'm soooo sorry!" she said sarcastically, tickling him in the stomach.
Kenji giggled before noticing Ranma behind her.
"Hi Ranma! Did you make mommy stop crying yet?" he asked, smiling.
Akane turned to look at him as he blushed a deep crimson. "What's he talking about?"
Ranma spread his hands out in front of him in a 'I don't know what he's talking about' gesture.
"You know kids, always saying something.." He laughed nervously.
Akane looked at him suspiciously for a moment before turning back to her oblivious son.
"So, what did you do today?" she asked, putting him down and trying to shake the water off of her apron and kimono.
Immediately Kenji launched into a huge discussion about every toy that he and Souta had played with that afternoon, talking about a mile a minute.
Akane just nodded her head every few minutes while she wrung out her hair.
Ranma disappeared for a few minutes before returning with a white towel that he held out to her.
"Thanks" she said, taking the towel.
"And then," Kenji continued, "I was playing with that blue ball that Uncle Tofu gave me when it went out into the street and I got lost while I was trying to find it and there were these two guys but then Ranma came and told me not to be scared and I found my ball but then we couldn't find auntie Kasumi.."
Akane stopped for a moment. "What?" she asked.
Kasumi hurried out of the kitchen, embracing her sister in a hug while gently pushing Kenji behind her.
"oh dear, Akane, you're soaked! Come on upstairs and I'll see if I can find something dry for you to wear." she said, leading Akane up the stairs.
Ranma knelt down to Kenji's eye level. "Say, kid. How about we play a game, okay?"
Kenji smiled excitedly. "A game? Yay! I love games!"
Ranma nodded, grinning. "Can you keep a secret?"
Kenji nodded emphatically. "sure I can!"
Ranma nodded again. "Okay then, why don't we pretend that the story about those two guys we met is a secret, okay? First one to tell the secret loses, alright? And whoever wins gets a..a."
"A what?" Kenji asked anxiously.
Ranma thought for a moment before rummaging through his jacket pocket. He pulled out a small gold chain with a small, silver sword charm on it.
"This. It's a martial arts charm I got on my journey. It's supposed to bring you good luck and make you strong." He said, holding it out for him to see.
Kenji's green eyes grew wide as he watched the small charm dangle in front of him.
Ranma smiled, handing it to him. "Here, you can have it for now. But," he added, holding out a finger warningly, "if you tell the secret, the deal's off, and you've got to give it back, okay?"
Kenji grabbed the chain eagerly, nodding. He looked up as Ranma stood up again. "I promise I won't tell! I promise! I always keep my promises, I really do!!"
Ranma grinned. "I believe you kid, now go get your stuff, as soon as your mom changed we'll be out of here."
Kenji turned, but then turned back, somewhat uncertain. "You are coming with us, aren't you?"
Ranma smiled and knelt down again. "I'm coming with you."
Kenji sighed happily. "good. You promise you won't leave us for ever and ever?"
Ranma hesitated. "Alright kid, I promise I won't leave you if I can help it, okay?"
"Okay!" he said, running off to pack his stuff.
"sure you can keep that promise?" a voice said from behind him.
Ranma turned around. Dr. Tofu handed him a cup of tea, taking a sip of his own.
"I hope so" he replied, sipping at the tea.
Back upstairs, Akane was handing Kasumi a dripping kimono.
"Are you sure you don't mind, Kasumi?"
Kasumi waved it off. "of course not. I'll have this dry for you by tomorrow."
Akane nodded. "Thanks Kasumi." She said, slipping on a skirt, blouse, and a raincoat on over that.
"No problem." Kasumi hesitated before asking, "Are you alright, Akane?"
Akane was about to say she was fine when she noticed the look on Kasumi's face. Kasumi was too smart for that.
Finally, she relented. "I don't know." She said simply.
Kasumi nodded and started toward the door. "Things will get better now Akane, don't worry." She called back before opening the door and disappearing down the hall.
Akane sighed. "I hope you're right."
....................................
"Ready to go?" Akane asked.
Kenji nodded, showing her his blue and red stripped backpack. "I'm all packed!"
Akane smiled. "good. Button up your coat or else you'll get cold out in the rain."
Kenji pouted. "C'mon mom, it's so much fun to get wet! Right Ranma?"
Ranma smiled. "it sure is, I used to love jumping in the puddles when I was your age."
Akane frowned. "Ranma! You're not helping, you know!"
"You didn't let me finish. I would jump in the puddles every time it rained, but then I'd always get sick the day after and I wouldn't be able to go play outside all day!" he warned.
Kenji hurriedly buttoned up his coat. "Not go outside all day? That's horrible!" he said.
Akane gave Ranma a small smile before turning back to Kasumi and Dr. Tofu.
"Thanks so much for watching him." She said, bowing her head slightly.
"No problem. We love having Kenji over, don't ever be afraid to ask." Tofu said, smiling.
Akane smiled back. "Thanks. I'll see you two later, have a good night." She said, herding Kenji out the door.
Ranma waved one hand at them. "See ya." He said, following after Akane and Kenji.
After the three of them had left, Kasumi turned back to her husband.
"Do you think they'll okay back together?" she asked.
Tofu put an arm around his wife, having finally gotten over his weird behavior around her when he managed to propose to her. "I'm sure they'll be fine. Those two might be stubborn, but they aren't stupid."
"I hope you're right."
....................................
Akane closed the door behind them as they entered the dojo.
A flood of memories seized Ranma's mind as he gazed around such a familiar place, covered with such unfamiliar screens and furniture.
He turned back to see Akane having trouble carrying Kenji to his room.
"Here, I'll do it." He said, appearing at her side and taking a sleeping Kenji from her gently. "Where's his room?"
Akane pointed to the back room. "The two of us share the bedroom in the back, behind the curtain. He sleeps in the smaller bed."
Ranma nodded and headed off in that direction while Akane put Kenji's bag on their small, wooden table. She shook the water from her hair before slipping to the back room to see her son.
She stopped right before entering, instead holding the curtain a little ways open so that she could watch as Ranma pulled the covers over the sleeping kid. Ranma stood there for a second before turning back, only to notice Akane's face in the doorway.
"oh, hey." Was all he could say.
Akane smiled and held a finger to her lips in a gesture to be quiet. She slipped over to the bedside and tucked the covers in around Kenji before motioning for Ranma to follow her out of the room.
As soon as the two of them were in the makeshift kitchen, Akane spoke.
"There's not much room.."
Ranma motioned it off. "That's okay, I'll sleep on the couch or something. I'm just glad to be out of the rain."
Akane nodded. She was about to leave but changed her mind. "Do you want some tea?"
Ranma nodded. "uh, sure, I guess."
As soon as Akane turned around, Ranma remembered Akane's horrible cooking skills and suddenly regretted his answer. He waited with dread as Akane quickly poured the tea and handed him a cup.
Ranma gritted his teeth before taking a sip.
But, it was fine. There was no horrible after taste, no bitter sourness, no spicy hot burning sensation. It was perfectly fine.
Ranma must have looked surprised, because Akane replied, "After Kenji was born, Cologne and Kasumi helped me learn how to cook."
"oh, that's good I guess.not that your cooking was bad before, ..I mean.."
Akane sighed. "Just forget it Ranma."
Ranma nodded. He hadn't felt this awkward in a long time, and it was starting to really get on his nerves.
Akane was dying to ask him about his trip, and about the fact that he was obviously wet and yet wasn't a girl, but she wasn't sure if he was ready to tell her, or if she was even ready to hear the answer, so she refrained, deciding to find out when Ranma decided to tell her.
Ranma was thinking almost the exact same thing about what exactly had happened to her. He would wait until she offered that piece of information.
"Kasumi said you worked at a café." Ranma said, desperate to say something.
Akane nodded. "yeah, it's a small place a little ways from here. I hope Kasumi can get my kimono dry by tomorrow evening, or else my boss isn't going to be very happy with me." She replied, clawing frantically within her mind for something else to say.
"Do I know it?"
"I don't think so, it was built after you..after you left."
"Oh"
The tense silence seemed to envelope the room.
Finally, Ranma noticed the slump in Akane's shoulders and the bags under her eyes. Guilt crashed over him, wave upon wave.
"uh, look, you need some sleep. I'll just crash on the couch, if you don't mind."
Akane didn't even object. She just nodded, putting their empty tea cups into the small sink and pointing toward another blocked off screen room.
"There should be some blankets already in there on the couch. The bathroom is on the right."
Ranma stood and nodded, heading towards the door. "Night, 'Kane." He mumbled before disappearing behind the screen.
A pang of sorrow welled up in Akane's throat. How long had she been waiting to hear those words again?
"Night, Ranma" she whispered before drifting off to sleep that night.
That night, Akane didn't have any nightmares.
....................................
"Ranma! Catch!" Kenji yelled, throwing the small blue ball as hard as his little arms could throw.
Ranma easily caught it. "Hey, good throw Kenji!" He spotted Akane on sitting on the porch a few steps away, sweeping. A small grin grew on his face.
He motioned for Kenji to run across the yard over to him so he could whisper in his ear.
Akane was sweeping when she noticed it had suddenly gotten very quiet. She turned her head to see if something was wrong when she came face to face with two grinning boys.
"What are you.." She started to ask before she was pummeled with snowballs.
"ouch!....hey!...stop that!....argghhh!" she yelled, covering her face with one hand and swinging the broomstick with another.
"We need more ammo!" Ranma yelled, running off with Kenji in tow to the nearest pile of snow on the ground that had fallen last night.
"Oh no you don't!!" Akane yelled, slipping over to a nearby pile and quickly making a small, round ball in her mittened hands.
"Take this!" Ranma yelled, turning around to throw it when a snowball splattered in his face. He spit the snow out of his mouth.
Kenji giggled helplessly from his pile.
Ranma turned on him. "What are you laughing at?!" he said, throwing his snowball playfully at him instead.
Kenji ducked behind the snowman they had made earlier.
"No fair! We're supposed to be on the same team!" he called.
Ranma grinned, popping up behind him and tickling his sides. "You're the one who attacked me, remember?!"
Akane giggled watching the two of them. She smiled. It felt like old times, when they were back in high school together.
It had been almost two weeks since Ranma had returned. And ever since then, Akane's nightmares had disappeared. Now, Ranma watched Kenji while Akane worked, and the two of them had hit it off. The awkward feeling had disappeared between Ranma and Akane, although they still avoided the subject of what went on in those lost six years, both unsure if they were ready to discuss it.
Akane's mind returned to reality when she heard Kenji calling her.
"Mommy! Can I stay home from school today? Please?" he begged.
Akane smiled. "You know you can't. Besides, you like school, remember? You'll have fun, I promise."
"Yeah kid, school's not that bad. We can finish this when you get back, k?"
Kenji smiled happily. "Okay!"
"Hey! Kenji! C'mon, we're gonna be late!" Souta yelled from the gate.
Kenji nodded before waving to his mom. "Bye mom!"
Akane waved back, watching him run towards Souta. "Bye!"
"See you after school Ranma!"
"See ya kid!" Ranma yelled back.
Kenji disappeared around the corner with Souta and Kasumi, who walked with him to school every morning.
"I've got to be at work in about an hour" Akane said.
Ranma looked at her for a moment before replying, "Why don't you take the day off?"
Akane looked up. "C'mon Ranma, you know I can't do that.."
"Why not? You could use a day to rest."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Ranma sighed. "I only meant that it's not good for you if you just work all the time. You need to rest too."
"I know that. I get plenty of rest, don't worry about me." She said, putting the broom back in the shed on the side of the dojo.
Ranma sighed before turning at the sound of a door opening.
"Hello there." The old man called from the house/inn.
"Hello Sauchira-san." Akane called. "How's your wife?"
"She's doing fine, thanks. What about you?"
"good, thanks for asking." She called back.
Sauchira nodded before disappearing into the once Tendo household.
"one of these days, I'll get that house back.." Ranma muttered to himself, following Akane back into the dojo.
Akane slipped the cherry blossom clip up into her short hair. "What time are you going over to the Cat café?" she asked.
Ranma slumped down into a chair. "You know the old bat, she wants me there early enough so she can rant at me."
"Ranma...," she stopped for a moment before venturing on. "Why..why are you here?"
Ranma's brow furrowed. "What are you talking about Akane?"
Akane paused, considering her words. "It's not that I don't want you here, but..but..there's nothing here anymore. Everyone's left, it's just me, Kenji, and Kasumi. There's no more ghost cats, no Kuno's, no fiancés, no perverts, no Chinese curses, no crazy high school principals, no nothing. I..I don't have anything to offer. Don't you want to find your dad? Or Ryouga and Ukyo?"
Ranma looked at Akane's down turned eyes. He wanted more than anything to tell her that wasn't true, that she had everything to offer him, and that it was enough that she was the only one left.
"Akane, I..."
Before he could finish, the two of them jumped at the sound of a huge crashing sound from outside. The two of them rushed out to the front yard.
From the looks of it, someone had crashed into the large oak tree near the gate and it had fallen over, knocking down some of the wall with it. They could hear two voices yelling at each other from the other side of the tree.
"I take it back, apparently even this place isn't that peaceful." Akane mentioned sardonically.
Ranma frowned suspiciously. "Is it just me, or do those voices sound awfully familiar?"
Akane started towards the tree. "Yeah, you're right..they do sound a little like those two..."
"but it couldn't be.." Ranma muttered, matching his pace with hers.
The two of them rounded the side of the tree and their jaws dropped.
"Ranma-honey!!!"
....................................
"Ukyo?!" Ranma managed to bite out disbelievingly as Ukyo threw her arms around him.
"Ryouga?! Is that really you?" Akane said, watching the black-haired boy rubbing a large bruise on his head.
"Akane! It's so good to see you!" Ryouga said, still nursing his head. "You haven't changed a bit!"
Akane blushed. "Um.thanks, I guess. What are you guys doing here? Your last postcard said you were in northern Japan, why'd you suddenly come all the way down here?" she asked.
Ukyo pulled away from a still-stunned Ranma to answer. "Cologne sent us a telegram telling us that Ranma was back about two weeks ago. So of course we had to come down! Besides, we were planning on coming back a couple of months earlier anyway to see how you and Kenji were doing, if a certain SOMEBODY hadn't gotten lost again!!" she said, glaring at the boy with the bump on his head.
"It's not my fault that the map was wrong!" Ryouga defended.
"IT WAS UPSIDE DOWN YOU IDIOT!" Ukyo yelled.
Akane stepped between them. "Why don't we all go inside, I was making breakfast anyway."
"That sounds great! I haven't had anything but Okinamiyaki for the last five months.." Ryouga muttered.
"What's wrong with that?!" Ukyo yelled, following him towards the house.
"Um, ..what about the tree Akane?" Ranma said, staring at the large hole in the wall.
Akane shrugged, sighing. "Things never change...I guess I was wrong Ranma."
"What?" Ranma asked, following her back to the dojo.
"When I said that the world didn't revolve around you. I was wrong, obviously. Two weeks after you come back and I've already got a hole in my wall."
....................................
Well, did ya like it? This one was a little short too, but the next chapter should be pretty long.
We're finally starting to get into the plot a bit more. In the next couple of chapters we'll find out what happened to Akane six years ago, and why Ranma isn't a girl anymore. Plus, look forward to numerous reunions as the wrecking crew gets back together.
Go Review, Please!!!!! Tell me what you think of the rewrite of the background info on this story, and don't forget to check out my other stories too, which I'll be updating tomorrow. I hope you guys liked this, it took me all day Saturday to rewrite the story AND get another chapter written, so you guys better be appreciative, lol.
Anyway, have a good weekend and Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day! Ja ne!
~Vixie
