My Heart My Home - by Darlin
A/N - Once again I apologize for the
delay but this chapter was hard for me to get right and it still may not be
just the way I want it but I didn't want to delay any further. Since Ororo's going through a personal ordeal I wanted to relay
the pain she was going through with out portraying her as weak and/or wimpy.
Personally I never see Ororo as weak or as a woman who would feel inferior but
my friend Skyz read the, um, sixth draft I think it
was, and thought I had Ororo acting too weak. Of course that had to be changed
a bit. I say a bit because, after all, Ororo's going
through a very bad time now.
Then I had to think how would Logan feel and how would he
act? Not being a guy it's hard sometimes for me to know how they think. Well
thanks to my good and very special friend, Fire Fighter Bob as I call him
teasingly (no disrespect to his profession intended at all), I think I was able
to get a grasp of how Logan might feel and react.
Fortunately for me my friend doesn't think I'm crazy when I ask him odd
questions about the effects of lightning/fire and my favorite Wolverine!
I want to thank him and all of you who are reading this and especially those
who take the time to review. Reviews make anyone feel good, even the ones with
constructive criticism after all there's always room for improvement! I really
appreciate you guys sticking in there with me and being so patient. Also, I
wanted to thank Redhead2 who gave me the idea for the title to this chapter.
And special thanks to Artemisn, blackpanther14, Bluemist Heatherfield, Digital
Tempest, Isisi Aurora Tomoe, Krazy
Xanadu, Shygurl, TigerStorm and one of my most faithful reviewers Verena Gruen.
Sometimes writing can really be a struggle but I think this chapter works. On
the bright side this is a little bit of a longer chapter than usual. I hope you
all enjoy this chapter and I shall truly work harder on getting the next
chapter out quicker!
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Chapter Fifteen - The Meeting
Rain began to fall lightly as the occupants of the limousine stepped out. The
weather didn't seem to bother the newcomers any more than it bothered Ororo as
she swooped down from the sky, her white gown billowing out behind her. She
hadn't meant to douse the visitors but it was getting harder and harder to
concentrate and rein in her emotions. Between the uncontrollable shaking and
the deep ache within her heart she felt as if she were fighting a losing
battle, and so deeply was she hurt, at the moment it didn't really seem to matter.
Almost carelessly, Ororo landed before Mariko and her companion. She greeted
them with a sad smile of welcome on her face, oblivious of the now ruined dress
clinging to her skin in wet folds. Seeing a brown skinned woman flying through
the air, only to land before her, scared Mariko half to death and she screamed.
She screamed as if her life were in peril causing her brave companion to leap
between the women, ready to defend Mariko at all cost.
"My apologies, I didn't mean to scare you," Ororo said sincerely.
"Who are you? What is it that you want?" the man demanded.
"I am Ororo Munroe but some call me Storm. I-I thought Logan's wife would be
familiar with . . . mutants and our abilities."
"You are a mutant then?" he questioned, staring at her as if he were
trying to determine the truth of her words.
Ororo nodded.
"T-there is no need to apologize," Mariko said with a sweet smile and
a small bow.
"This is Lady Mariko Yashida. I am her cousin, Shiro Yoshida," the man said, also bowing politely.
"Welcome!" A spirited cry greeted the newcomers.
They turned to see Professor Xavier in his wheelchair at the front door.
"I'm Charles Xavier and it's a pleasure to finally meet you both,"
Charles said with all the charm of a star fleet commander. "Ororo won't
you tell Logan that Lady Mariko has
arrived?"
Without a word Ororo dispersed the rain, summoned a wind, and soared up into
the sky as easily and as regally as an eagle in the wild, her wet dress
flapping behind her in lieu of wings. Something within her urged her to return
to the spot she had last seen Logan and so she flew over
the grounds until she came to her gardens. There beneath a large weeping
willow, with a long blade of grass clinched between his teeth, laid the
sleeping Wolverine. He looked so peaceful she had not the heart to wake him.
"You gonna just gawk at me or are you gonna come down to earth like us regular folk?" Logan asked as he opened one
eye lazily and tossed aside the piece of grass.
The sound of his Hgruff voice brought a smile to Ororo's somber face. Hearing his words sent a shiver of
pleasure through her body making her feel warm and happy. His t-shirt was damp,
showing off his muscular chest and arms, which added to the pleasure she felt
upon seeing him. Nevertheless, she summoned a warm drying breeze as she touched
down beside him. Sinking to the ground she pulled her knees up to her chest
grateful for this moment alone.
"She here already?" Logan asked impassively.
"Yes." The word was a whisper that was lost on the wind.
Neither spoke and a comfortable silence settled over
them. In that silence Ororo was finally able to find a little peace. After
awhile she slid her long legs down letting them feel the soft, and now dried
grass. She leaned back on her arms, a small smile playing at her lips. Logan saw the smile,
fleeting as it was but he noted that her eyes were still sad and her hands were
still shaking, though few but he would have seen the almost imperceptible
vibrations. He felt an overwhelming need to cheer her though he had no idea
what to do.
"You okay?" He asked balefully.
She looked into his penetrating gaze; her own eyes filled with unshed tears.
"I feel awful," she said truthfully. "But being here, now, with
you, it's almost like time's standing still - like nothing matters."
Yet everything mattered, he thought. Suddenly tense, he sat up searching for
words but finding none.
"I have no right to feel awful when you're getting a piece of your life
back," Ororo said with an apologetic smile.
A grimace covered Logan's face as he shifted
his position on the ground. He felt a persistent desire to kiss her. He wanted
to comfort her but he was selfish too and wanted to hold her one last time.
Just one last time and then he could let her go he thought. Standing, he held
out a rough hand to her. Ororo looked at the proffered hand with a look of
dread. So soon, she wondered? Time began to rush forward again, almost knocking
the breath from her lungs and she noticed that her hands shook noticeably now,
once more becoming cold and clammy.
"Come here," Logan ordered,
his voice strong and deep.
She took his hand letting him pull her up. She stumbled
a little as her knees nearly gave way but he caught her to him and held her
close.
"Lo . . ."
"Sssh."
Just a moment longer, she told herself, and then I can let him go. She took a
deep breath trying to calm her self. This was all she would ever have from him
- one last embrace before he went to join his wife. She sobbed inwardly and
breathed in deeply again. She wanted more - needed more. It wasn't fair. They
had only just found each other.
Logan could feel her body shaking and it pained him
more than he could have imagined. He desperately wanted to make her feel better
but he felt powerless. He could continue holding her but his gut instinct was
telling him to grab her and run. Run where though, was the question? Where
could they go? Deep inside he didn't think Ororo would go.
He cursed quietly, wanting to lash out at something or someone. Ororo shouldn't
have to suffer for something he had done and couldn't even remember. She
deserved better and more than him. He hated admitting that now when he'd
finally learned how much she had come to mean to him. If their time together in
Japan, short though it had
been, hadn't shown him that then the month long absence had. He'd realized that
it had been Ororo all along that he needed and wanted. Too late, he thought.
He'd been such a jerk looking up Jean's skirt that he hadn't even realized his
heart's desire was within an arm's reach all that time.
I don't want to let her go he thought as his lips grazed hers lightly. He
hesitated, wanting just one last kiss before he went to meet his wife but not
wanting to hurt Ororo any more than he already had. Ororo held him tighter and
leaned up and pressed her own lips firmly to his, demanding and unrelenting.
Neither of them were prepared for the intense need
that rushed through them. They had only meant it to be a final kiss but as
their passion soared it became almost a baptizing of their love that neither of
them wanted to control or deny.
"Ahem!"
At the sound of the intrusive noise Logan and Ororo's arms fell and they stepped back slowly though their
eyes remained locked on each other. It was as if they were seeing the truth for
the first time. What they saw in the others eyes scared them and yet gave them
hope.
"Excuse me - I didn't mean to interrupt but, Logan your wife is
here," Jean said her voice surprisingly sympathetic.
"Give us a minute," Logan snarled, not bothering
to look at Jean.
"And what should I tell your . . . I mean, Mariko?" Jean asked,
making no move to leave.
"Whatever you . . ."
"Jean, a moment is all we ask," Ororo said calmly interrupting Logan's
outburst.
Jean gave the two a wary look then headed back to the mansion.
"Logan . . ."
"No, Ororo, I'm sorry. I got carried away I shouldn't have kissed you -
not now anyway."
"I wanted you to. I missed you more than I admitted to myself."
"I had no right to take advantage of you," he said gruffly.
"No," she whispered bringing her hand gently to his face.
"Perhaps I took advantage of the moment . . ."
He took her hand in his, held it firmly and shook his head.
"When we were in Japan I - well you're just -
you're always there for me like you think I'm worth something," he said.
"You are worth something - worth very much to me, Logan."
He released her hand and she let out a long ragged sigh at the loss.
"We won't let it happen again," Ororo reassured him.
Logan scowled but said nothing. His eyes bore into
hers and he fought the urge to not pull her to him again.
"You have to go," Ororo said.
"No. I don't."
The worried expression on her face made him sigh and pull her to him once more.
Breathing in her soothing scent - so fresh and pure and missed so much -
settled it for him. He wasn't leaving her, not like this. Her arms went around
him and he closed his eyes. This was where he belonged now. Mariko would have
to wait.
"You said you'd wait for me - I'm not leaving you now. It's going to be
all right," he murmured into her soft hair.
"How?"
"I don't know how but it will be. What I do know is that she's a
stranger to me and the man she married is dead. She's going to have to accept
that."
There was nothing Ororo could say even though his words gave her some comfort.
One thought, however, would not leave her - this woman had come for Logan - had come for her
husband. Whether he remembered her or not Ororo knew if she were in Mariko's
place that the answer would be an emphatic no. She wouldn't give Logan up for anything in the
world. She could expect no less from Mariko.
These thoughts continually nagged at her. She couldn't make her brain shut down
- couldn't stop thinking about the 'what ifs' and 'whys'. The most horrific of
them all - what if Logan remembered his wife?
What if he remembered her and the love they must have shared?
Tortured and worn out all Ororo could do was cling to Logan etching every touch
and smell in her memory for this could not - would not happen again. She owed
that to his wife if nothing else. Did Logan feel the same, she
wondered? Surely he must. How could he not - honorable man that he was?
But Logan wasn't feeling anything remotely like Ororo.
He was a fighter, a scrapper. He lived from one day to the other surviving as
best he knew how. True he'd desperately wanted to know who he was but if it
meant losing the one good thing to happen to him in years he didn't want
anything to do with Mariko. His mind was made up. He didn't need to see the
woman - didn't want to see her. He just didn't know if Ororo could accept his
decision. She would expect him to do the honorable thing, he knew. But wasn't
that one of the reasons he admired her? That she expected only the best from
him?
"I'm sorry," Ororo said as she pulled away from him. Her face was almost
serene now.
"You've got nothin' to be sorry for, Ro."
Ororo sighed. "You better go."
It was later than either of them had imagined. The sun was setting and the air
had grown cooler, nature having usurped Ororo's
erratic control.
"You okay?" Logan asked.
A nod and a smile were his only answers.
Together they headed back to the mansion. He took her hand, still cold and
trembling ever so slightly. It was with a heavy heart that he approached the
mansion. He hadn't even been back a full day, hadn't even had a chance to tell
Ororo how he felt, how much he'd missed her and wanted her. He knew until this
whole mess was settled he didn't have the right.
When they came within sight of the mansion Ororo pulled her hand from Logan's feeling awkward and
uncomfortable. Her stomach ached again, as if a ball of pain was knotting
inside her. Logan glanced at her even as
she stole a look at him and they both stopped in their tracks. One thinking it
wasn't too late that they could just get on his motorcycle and ride, the other
thinking this was it, the end, nothing more.
"Ro, I . . ."
"There you are!" Scott called out, his voice congenial and jovial.
"I was just headed into town - gotta pick up
Jean's car from the shop," he smiled then lowered his voice he said in
utmost sincerity - "Logan, you struck gold! Congratulations
again." Then he was off, waving happily as he made his way to the
garage, his thoughts for once not on the two men's old rivalry over Jean.
"What . . .?" Flabbergasted, Logan watched the younger
man trot off.
Everything that Ororo had feared seemed to rear up like a speeding train
rushing fast to meet her head on. Scott's words, as friendly and heartfelt as
they were seemed like taunts thrown at her mercilessly - taunts that would not
go away. Mariko was golden. Mariko was worthy in Scott's eyes. Ororo's heart sunk as she started the long climb up the
steps leaving Logan behind.
The foyer was empty when Logan entered. He had
hesitated as long as he could before following Ororo. He thought he should've
waited longer - thought to himself that it shouldn't even have to be this way.
He could smell Ororo's scent still strong, still
enticing and still heart wrenching. It was full of all the fresh clean scents
of the wild but also thick with fear and despair. The trail led upstairs. He
wanted to follow her, to make her understand that he would fix this somehow. But how? He had no idea, at least not yet. Admitting this he
realized there was nothing else to do but get it over with.
Lost in thought he made his way slowly to the Professor's office. The office
held a lot of memories for him. It was there that he'd first seen Kitty and
Jubilee. The first time he'd seen the Professor and Ororo. But he wasn't going
to let himself think about that now. Chances were he'd remember Mariko and he'd
have no choice but to try and make it work. She'd probably want to move to the
suburbs or even back to Japan. He couldn't stop from
groaning. His morbid thoughts vividly pictured a pointless and boring life with
a stranger. Surely she must know he wasn't that type of man. He ran a hand
through his unruly hair and prayed she wouldn't want to live like that - like
regular people. She had to know he was different, a mutant, and not cut out for
that type of life. As he knocked on the door he wondered if she even knew about
his adamantium.
"Logan! There you are. Come
in, come in," the Professor greeted him warmly.
Logan nodded but his eyes were on the small woman
sitting in a chair by one of the many large windows. She was bathed in the
fading sunlight and he couldn't help but wonder if she had placed herself there
for just that effect. As the shadows and light played over her she was truly
beautiful. There was no denying it but then so were a million other women.
Nevertheless, it was almost surreal as he watched Mariko, who was clothed in a
simple business suit, rise from her chair, the sunlight setting off her pale
skin and lightly rouged cheeks.
She bowed before him and he found himself bowing in return.
"My husband," she whispered when she was facing him again. Her words
were so quiet only Logan could discern them.
He swallowed. "Konbanwa." He greeted her not
knowing what else to say.
"Logan-San, Genki desu ka?" Mariko smiled, obviously pleased.
"I did not think you would remember me!"
"I-I don't . . . Ashikarazu . . ." he
mumbled his apology.
Her face fell and she didn't try to hide her disappointment.
"It has been so long. We thought you were dead. How is it you
survived?" she asked.
"I don't know. Thought maybe you could tell me."
"Professor Xavier explained this to me but when I saw you and you
spoke in Japanese I felt . . ." she faltered, searching for words.
"I am Shiro Yoshida." The Japanese man held
out his hand.
Logan nodded when he felt the younger man's firm
strong grip. "Pleased to meet you but I don't remember you either, bub," he said.
An awkward silence filled the room. The men studied each other but no one, not
even the Professor could think of anything to say. Not wanting to interfere,
Charles caught Shiro's eye and subtlety motioned
towards the door. Without a word the young man immediately stepped behind the
Professor's wheelchair and after a moment struggling with the brake he pushed
Charles out of the office giving Logan and Mariko the privacy that they needed.
"So, Mariko why'd you marry an old coot like
me?" Logan asked.
"What do you mean by coot? Brave? Worthy? You are
a brave and worthy man. I have much respect and love for you, my husband."
"So why did I leave? Don't you know?"
Mariko looked at him quizzically, opened her mouth to speak then closed it.
"Did I even say goodbye to you? Or did I just disappear? Were we having
problems is that it?"
She shook her head but her eyes didn't meet his.
"Why would you think I was dead if you didn't find my body? Didn't' you
know about my healing factor or did I keep that to myself? Seems to me I woulda told you if we were married don't you think? And
what made you think I was dead anyway?"
When she didn't reply he went on - "How'd you know where to find me? And
why'd you wait so long to find me?" He barked.
"You and I - we . . ."
Logan waited impatiently for her to finish but she
again looked away with no explanation forthcoming.
"You and I what? Can you tell me how we met? Huh?
How 'bout telling me where've you've been - what've you been telling people
about your long lost husband?"
Mariko frowned and it was the first time Logan felt better since
finding out he had a wife. The frown marred the perfect-ness of her face. She
seemed more human even fallible. It still didn't stop him from firing more
questions at her.
"Do you know what they did to me? Or why? Do you
know who they were? Tell me why're you here now? What
do you want from me?"
She looked around the room, her eyes widening in alarm, as if she were looking
for a means of escape and found none. Logan paid no attention to
her discomfort, he simply continued his bombardment.
"Who's this Silver Samurai guy who was tryin' to
kill me in Japan? Did you know he was comin' after me? What did he want? Was he the reason you
thought I was dead? Do you know him? How's he know me? What's he got against
me? Did I do something to him? Do you know if he's still after me? And where's
he at now?"
"He is my brother," she admitted with obvious shame.
"Your brother? Why would your brother be after
me? Did I do something to hurt you? What's he want?"
"It is - I-I can not say," she whispered, her eyes concentrating on
the floor as if her life depended upon it.
"What the hell? What is that supposed to mean? You can't say or you won't
say? Did you send him after me? Is that it?"
"No!" Mariko said, her eyes now meeting his, a look of dismay on her
face.
They looked at each other, Logan's face a ferocious
mask, Mariko's quickly returning back to the calm demeanor she usually wore.
She took a few steps away from him but his next words made her stop.
"Why don't you have any answers? If you knew where to find me you have to
have some kinda answers - don't you? You owe me
that!"
When she said nothing he growled, demanding - "Tell me why're
you here, Mariko? What do you want from me?"
Shortly the door opened and Shiro entered the room
with the Professor close behind him.
"I just finished showing Shiro your rooms, Lady
Mariko. Perhaps you'd like to freshen up or unpack now?" Charles asked.
Mariko looked from Logan to Charles but she
could barely speak. Her mouth opened but no words came out even as her lips
moved. Shiro put an arm around her protectively and
led her to the door.
"Wait a minute! She an' me need to talk, Chuck.
We aren't finished by a long shot. She's got answers and I want them now!"
"Logan, I understand your
impatience but certainly you can give Lady Mariko a little time to settle in
before you talk further," Charles said firmly.
Mariko breathed a sigh of relief and let Shiro guide
her out of the office.
"Wait!" Logan ran after them. He
grabbed Mariko's arm and pulled her to him roughly.
"Juubun! Let her
go!" Shiro shouted.
"At least tell me who I am!" Logan implored of Mariko
before releasing her.
No one spoke. Mariko's desperate breathing was the only sound that could be
heard as she struggled to regain her composure. Holding her arm, she looked at Logan almost pleadingly.
"This is obviously hard for everyone," the Professor said from the doorway.
"Shiro, do you need me to have someone show you
where your rooms are again?"
"No. I remember. Otsukaresana - I mean . . .
thank you," Shiro said. He bowed briefly then
led his cousin out of the Professor's office giving Logan a look that would have
terrified an ordinary man.
Unfazed, Logan started after the pair
but Charles caught him by the arm.
"I know this isn't easy for you, Logan but you have to give her time. I
can't imagine that this is any easier for her either. You must consider her . .
." Charles words died on his tongue when Logan bent down before him
with a face that was full of anger.
"I know you mean well but this doesn't concern you," Logan said quietly.
"I beg to differ, Logan. You are a part of my
X-Men. That makes you part of this family. I care what happens to you and I
know this is hard but you clearly frightened her."
"Did I? So what's she hiding that she's got to be afraid of?" Logan asked before walking
away.
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Konbanwa - good evening
Genki desu ka. - How
are you?
Ashikarazu - I'm sorry
Juubun - enough
Otsukaresama - thank you
