Here it is, the one we've all been waiting for, the long-awaited Honeymoon chapter!
"Heero," Relena leaned over to tap him on the shoulder. They were in her *pink* limousine. Heero in a pink limo. That's interesting, "Heero, look out the window." Heero looked out the window.
"Where the *insert inappropriate word here, deleted to keep G rating* are we?" he asked. Relena smiled.
"A cruise ship."
"A cruise ship? I didn't book a cruise ship. I booked a hotel far away enough to even keep Duo from bothering us. And that is hard to do, you realize."
"What fun is a hotel? All they've got there is a pool. A cruise ship is MUCH more fun. And even Duo can't tease us on a ship. Too many people. Come on, let's go!" Relena pulled her newly-wed husband out of the *pink* limo. Heero looked at it.
"When we get back, that thing is getting sent for scrap," he informed her. She frowned.
"We could just get it a paint job."
"With the way I drive? No paint job could last. There would be pink scratches up and down the stupid thing." Relena remembered the ambulance from day they had met and shuddered.
"I'm not letting you anywhere NEAR any cars."
The two newly-weds FINALLY got on the stupid ship. Immediately, a butler asked Heero if he wanted a towel. Heero looked at him strangely before saying no. Relena made a beeline towards a throng of other girls sporting wedding rings. They all 'ooh'ed over the emerald-studded gold band around her ring finger, then all clambered to show her theirs. Heero found himself surrounded by a group of men.
"You just get married to?" One of the guys nodded towards the plain band around Heero's finger. Heero wearing a ring. Hmm. He scowled.
"Yes."
"Which chick is yours?" A beefy man with a mustache asked, "The one with the green hair is mine." Heero raised an eyebrow as he looked over and saw a lady at least ten years younger than this man with vibrant green hair and bright pink eyes. She turned around and winked at her husband. He grinned stupidly, blowing a spit bubble in attempts to blow a kiss. His wife let out a shrill giggle. Heero shuddered. One of the other guys thumped him on the back. Heero whirled around.
"Don't touch me. I'm not a touchy kind of person," he said in an almost growl. The beefy man turned back to him.
"So which broad did you say was yours?"
"I just hope it's not that one," a sneering man pointed directly at Relena, "I'm going to try and flirt her tonight. But you seem the kind of guy who would get a little upset about that."
"She is and I am," Heero said threateningly. The sneering man studied him for a moment, fear crossing his eyes.
"I was joking, of course," he added smoothly. Relena, fortunately, ran over.
"Heero, we have to go dance!" she pulled him to the dance floor. Heero made a 'you saved my life' sort of face. It must have been bad for him, he never makes that face. Not even when Duo actually DID save his life. Poor guy. As they twirled, Heero spoke to Relena about something that was bugging him.
"Relena, please never dye your hair green or get ridiculous colored contacts." She looked him strangely.
"Alright Heero, I won't," she promised. Right about now the butler came around again, asking Heero if he wanted a towel.
"No, I DO NOT want a towel." Relena, however, politely refused. The butler moved on.
Later, as they were eating a candle-lit dinner, Heero sneezed. That was all it took for the butler to come back, offering a towel.
"I don't want a towel," Heero said in an almost strained voice as he struggled not to attack the butler. Relena would have frowned upon that.
The next morning, the two of them went to play tennis. Heero in tennis shorts. Okay… (Curse the stupid authoress who keeps scaring herself with her own fic!) Heero won. Well, Relena sort of… let him win, because he got that crazed mission face on, and she didn't want him to attempt self-detonation if he lost. But he won, so our favorite guy (married guy, at least. Wufei is mine! Anyway…) is still living. Relena went off to talk to the other newlyweds, Heero had flat out refused to come, to avoid risking an encounter with the scary men again. This meant leaving Heero to his own devices. I.E, sitting next to the pool because Relena told him directly-
"Nothing dangerous to yourself or others, anything to do with explosives, explosive is defined as something that goes BOOM and destroys something, no shooting, maiming, or dissecting of any kind, and do NOT try and self-detonate into the pool. Have fun Heero!" Heero frowned.
"So what am I supposed to do for fun?" He sighed. Those guys were creepy. How could Relena stand those people?
"Excuse me sir, would you like a towel?" Twitching, Heero turned to see the butler. AGAIN. Heero screamed.
"I DON'T WANT A STUPID TOWEL!!" he whipped out his gun and shot the guy down. Or that was the plan… His gun wasn't in the holster. He didn't even have his holster.
"Wait right here," he said, running off to find Relena.
"Relena, did you take my gun?" He asked. She looked at him surprised.
"Of course I did. How else was I supposed to keep you from shooting?" Heero did that trademark 'Heero is surprised/unhappy' look. The green haired girl let out a squeal, clutching her husband's arm.
"Oh Miss Relena, he's so adorable!" Her husband looked at Heero.
"Will you be joining us then?" Heero looked at him startled.
"Um, no that's… uh, yeah. I gotta go," he ran back to the pool. Again, or that was the plan. He crashed into someone on the way.
"DOU?!?!?!" Heero shrieked. The braided guy looked up, eyes brightening.
"Heero, I finally found you! Told you I'd follow you!" This was the last straw for poor Heero. Screaming, he ran to he and Relena's room, grabbed one of their many toasters, and heaved it at Duo. He ducked, running away. Relena had walked up by this time.
"Heero!" she scolded
"What? We have fourteen other toasters!" Relena rolled her eyes, but she loved Heero, so she shook her head and awaited that little day when the cruise was over and Duo wasn't in life-threatening toaster danger…
Author's Note: Okay. That's it. The Honeymoon chapter. Sorry nobody was in character, but I tried. I really did, I promise! If there's something else you might want to see, just let me know. I'm not picky, except I don't want them to get divorced, and I won't write lemons, no matter what the circumstances. And I have this to say to my wonderful readers-
To YaYuki- I'd hate to be Relena trapped in an elevator with you. (she likes Heero A LOT)
To Motorola Wolffe- I wouldn't want to be a Relena/Heero fan lost in a dark alley with you.
To Becca- Wow! You really like it?
Anyway, thank you for reading!
"Heero," Relena leaned over to tap him on the shoulder. They were in her *pink* limousine. Heero in a pink limo. That's interesting, "Heero, look out the window." Heero looked out the window.
"Where the *insert inappropriate word here, deleted to keep G rating* are we?" he asked. Relena smiled.
"A cruise ship."
"A cruise ship? I didn't book a cruise ship. I booked a hotel far away enough to even keep Duo from bothering us. And that is hard to do, you realize."
"What fun is a hotel? All they've got there is a pool. A cruise ship is MUCH more fun. And even Duo can't tease us on a ship. Too many people. Come on, let's go!" Relena pulled her newly-wed husband out of the *pink* limo. Heero looked at it.
"When we get back, that thing is getting sent for scrap," he informed her. She frowned.
"We could just get it a paint job."
"With the way I drive? No paint job could last. There would be pink scratches up and down the stupid thing." Relena remembered the ambulance from day they had met and shuddered.
"I'm not letting you anywhere NEAR any cars."
The two newly-weds FINALLY got on the stupid ship. Immediately, a butler asked Heero if he wanted a towel. Heero looked at him strangely before saying no. Relena made a beeline towards a throng of other girls sporting wedding rings. They all 'ooh'ed over the emerald-studded gold band around her ring finger, then all clambered to show her theirs. Heero found himself surrounded by a group of men.
"You just get married to?" One of the guys nodded towards the plain band around Heero's finger. Heero wearing a ring. Hmm. He scowled.
"Yes."
"Which chick is yours?" A beefy man with a mustache asked, "The one with the green hair is mine." Heero raised an eyebrow as he looked over and saw a lady at least ten years younger than this man with vibrant green hair and bright pink eyes. She turned around and winked at her husband. He grinned stupidly, blowing a spit bubble in attempts to blow a kiss. His wife let out a shrill giggle. Heero shuddered. One of the other guys thumped him on the back. Heero whirled around.
"Don't touch me. I'm not a touchy kind of person," he said in an almost growl. The beefy man turned back to him.
"So which broad did you say was yours?"
"I just hope it's not that one," a sneering man pointed directly at Relena, "I'm going to try and flirt her tonight. But you seem the kind of guy who would get a little upset about that."
"She is and I am," Heero said threateningly. The sneering man studied him for a moment, fear crossing his eyes.
"I was joking, of course," he added smoothly. Relena, fortunately, ran over.
"Heero, we have to go dance!" she pulled him to the dance floor. Heero made a 'you saved my life' sort of face. It must have been bad for him, he never makes that face. Not even when Duo actually DID save his life. Poor guy. As they twirled, Heero spoke to Relena about something that was bugging him.
"Relena, please never dye your hair green or get ridiculous colored contacts." She looked him strangely.
"Alright Heero, I won't," she promised. Right about now the butler came around again, asking Heero if he wanted a towel.
"No, I DO NOT want a towel." Relena, however, politely refused. The butler moved on.
Later, as they were eating a candle-lit dinner, Heero sneezed. That was all it took for the butler to come back, offering a towel.
"I don't want a towel," Heero said in an almost strained voice as he struggled not to attack the butler. Relena would have frowned upon that.
The next morning, the two of them went to play tennis. Heero in tennis shorts. Okay… (Curse the stupid authoress who keeps scaring herself with her own fic!) Heero won. Well, Relena sort of… let him win, because he got that crazed mission face on, and she didn't want him to attempt self-detonation if he lost. But he won, so our favorite guy (married guy, at least. Wufei is mine! Anyway…) is still living. Relena went off to talk to the other newlyweds, Heero had flat out refused to come, to avoid risking an encounter with the scary men again. This meant leaving Heero to his own devices. I.E, sitting next to the pool because Relena told him directly-
"Nothing dangerous to yourself or others, anything to do with explosives, explosive is defined as something that goes BOOM and destroys something, no shooting, maiming, or dissecting of any kind, and do NOT try and self-detonate into the pool. Have fun Heero!" Heero frowned.
"So what am I supposed to do for fun?" He sighed. Those guys were creepy. How could Relena stand those people?
"Excuse me sir, would you like a towel?" Twitching, Heero turned to see the butler. AGAIN. Heero screamed.
"I DON'T WANT A STUPID TOWEL!!" he whipped out his gun and shot the guy down. Or that was the plan… His gun wasn't in the holster. He didn't even have his holster.
"Wait right here," he said, running off to find Relena.
"Relena, did you take my gun?" He asked. She looked at him surprised.
"Of course I did. How else was I supposed to keep you from shooting?" Heero did that trademark 'Heero is surprised/unhappy' look. The green haired girl let out a squeal, clutching her husband's arm.
"Oh Miss Relena, he's so adorable!" Her husband looked at Heero.
"Will you be joining us then?" Heero looked at him startled.
"Um, no that's… uh, yeah. I gotta go," he ran back to the pool. Again, or that was the plan. He crashed into someone on the way.
"DOU?!?!?!" Heero shrieked. The braided guy looked up, eyes brightening.
"Heero, I finally found you! Told you I'd follow you!" This was the last straw for poor Heero. Screaming, he ran to he and Relena's room, grabbed one of their many toasters, and heaved it at Duo. He ducked, running away. Relena had walked up by this time.
"Heero!" she scolded
"What? We have fourteen other toasters!" Relena rolled her eyes, but she loved Heero, so she shook her head and awaited that little day when the cruise was over and Duo wasn't in life-threatening toaster danger…
Author's Note: Okay. That's it. The Honeymoon chapter. Sorry nobody was in character, but I tried. I really did, I promise! If there's something else you might want to see, just let me know. I'm not picky, except I don't want them to get divorced, and I won't write lemons, no matter what the circumstances. And I have this to say to my wonderful readers-
To YaYuki- I'd hate to be Relena trapped in an elevator with you. (she likes Heero A LOT)
To Motorola Wolffe- I wouldn't want to be a Relena/Heero fan lost in a dark alley with you.
To Becca- Wow! You really like it?
Anyway, thank you for reading!
