to kill him

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disclaimer: I don't own GW

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[(entry 5)]

[2:54 a.m. -Friday, February 14th]

I can't sleep. I woke up at like, 1, which isnt that bad, but you see, unlike some people, I need my sleep. Duo had left earlier. He explained that he had to go back to space and fight. I wanted to go with him.. But before he left. He kissed me, and promised to come back and take me with him next time. I cant believe he kissed me. It was a real kiss, too. Damn, my plan is working isnt it.. I have done this kind of work with other people. (Get on their good side, kill em') But why is this time different? I don't think I will be able to do it. I have only known this guy for a two days, or was it three..it doesn't matter. I have to kill him. He is going to die. Damn it! He was supposed to be dead by now! Is this something to cry over?!? I don't even know this guy! I don't know..

You see, I woke up after a dream. It seemed so familiar. I was in a street. It was dark. My dad was standing there. Next to him was a boy. He seemed to be about..12..he had dark blue, almost violet hair. Strands of his hair hung low in his face and eyes. My dad was talking to him. The boy was wearing a uniform, like my dads, but smaller, and without the decorations of military medals and such.

"Now Erin, remember to keep on your feet. Don't let yourself off guard. Don't let others push you around either."

My dad showed the boy his gun and handed to him, letting him get the feel of the of it in his hands. He had taken the barel out, showing him how it was put together and such. I stood there watching them. It was eerie, this was all familiar. The boy only nodded when my dad spoke. Then the boy asked a simple question of my father. That's when it clicked. That the dream actually happened. It had happened five months prior to my fathers death.

I stood there waiting for them to notice me. I stood proudly eleven that day. November 28th. The boy looked down at my father that was on one knee, showing off his new gun. The boy looked up at me for the first time through his thick bangs. His eyes were a deep violet, neerly the same color as his hair. He was a fine kid. My dad noticed me too. He imediatley stood up, putting away his gun. He knew I hated the weapon. But found it all facinating at the same time.

"Berit my angel! I was wondering when you would get here"

We still stood on the street in frontof a small shop my father promised to take me on my birthday when he would come home.

"Berit, this is Erin Briant, he's been assigned to help me out, while I watch out for him. You don't mind if he spends the day with us do you?"

I was confused, and jealous at the same time. Why did some kid get to work with my dad all the time, and I couldn't? I got lucky if I saw my dad twice a month. I felt my cheeks grow warm. Tears in my eyes, but they never fell. I didn't really mind. It was just all shocking at the time.

"Sure Daddy! I don't care"

I hugged my dad. He scooped me up and brought me into the fine store we went into every year as customed. The boy followed quietly. The store was filled with glass figures and china. Dolls of porcelin..my dream. Every year he promised to spend the day with me. We would go into the store and he would buy one thing, only one thing(it was pretty expensive). But he would buy me any one thing I wanted..it didn't matter how expencive. We did this every year. He didn't do this with any of my other sisters, just me. I had a special relationship with my father.

I had picked out a porcelin figure of a jewelery box. It had a small glass elephant on the top. It was beautiful. After that my dad took us to a fair. Me and Erin sat at the grounds while my father went and brought us back candy, popcorn, cotton candy.. Erin and I talked while waiting for my father.

"So do you and your father do this every year for your birthday?"

"Yep"

"Well, Happy birthday berit"

That's when I woke up. I had relived the whole day, but when he said that I almost screamed when rising. It scared me.. Then I got the phone call. Ever since my thirteenth birthday he had called me. After reading the message on France's phone after I killed the guy I had ran home. That's when he called me, as promised.

"Well, happy birthday berit"

It was the same guy. Erin..Erin Briant. My dad treeted the kid as if he were his own son. No wonder Erin was glad I killed France. I guess I should've figured out who my 'employer' was when I got a package in the mail with a crystal figure of a rose the next day. The deliverer said it arived later, delayed from thanksgiving. It came with a note. It read:

Happy birthday Berit. The tradition can still live on right?
-nice job on Chris France..im proud he's finally gone

It creaped me out. But I got a package every year from the same store from this guy. I never questioned the kid.

But he called me tonight. Erin did, he still had the same voice as back then. Ususally he called me every night. We talked for hours sometimes. He knew practically everything. I had come to know a lot about him. He already mysteriously knew so much about me. He hadnt called for two days. But he called now. He called my cell, I didn't say anything when I answered. I was still in tears. My head is filled with so much..i cant take it.

"Berit?"

I was still silent..i didn't know what to say, just moments ago I figured out who he was

"Berit? Are you alright? I called to tell you your taking to long with subject Maxwell"

To long?!?! So what!!! I'm the one killing the guy! And he's in love with me after two days and you want me to kill him NOW!!!! Give me some time.. ERIN BRIANT!!! I still cant believe who he is! I should have figured though. How come he never told me?

"How come you never told me?"

My voice couldn't get much louder than a whisper. My voice was gailing me. It started to crack..i was crying now

"Told you what? Are you ok?"

No I'm not..I'm crying and I don't know why..I cant take this..

"Erin Briant..I remember you now.."

I was still crying. I had spent so many hours talking to this guy not knowing who he was. He had told me so much of his life too. His parents died when he was 7, both killed, murdered. He went to live with his uncle, then he died, then he came to work under my father..he never told me that part though. He sighed over the phone.

"..I see.."

"I never even wondered about who you were untill recently, I never thought about it"

"Berit, listen. Who I am didn't matter.."

"It didn't, did it?"

It honestly didn't. I never considered or cared who he was. But now that I know..it still doesn't matter.

"It doesn't matter now"

"No it doesn't"

"But.why?"

"Why what? Why question it?"

"I don't know"

"Neither do I"

It was silent for a while..he's gonna ask me why it's talking so long for me to kill duo..

"Why isnt Maxwell dead yet?"

I knew it.

"He's gone..he went back to space..he's gonna come back though"

He kissed me.

"You're doing the love thing right"

He does love me.

"Yeah"

I love him.

"You love him don't you?"

I gonna kill him though.

"No"

He will die.

"Good"

Silence..he hung up the phone..tears silently fall from my eyes. Why? WHY!?!

[(Closure)]