to kill him
........
disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing..
.......
[(entry 7)]
[3.00p.m. -Tuesday, February 18th]
I know he's not dead. He isnt dead. I only shot him in the stomach. If he were to die it would be the most painful death. But, knowing the area of that appartment.. a neightbor would have immediatley heard the shot. And the shouting. I havent been able to sleep since then. I last wrote in this stupid notebook about ten hours ago. Since then a lot has happened.
First, I ran into my brother on my way back to the base to see my uncle. I was probably going to lie to him.. But I ran into my big brother. I havent seen him for two years. I forgot that tomorrow, February 19th was his 29th birthday. I wont see him though. If I were, I would be worrying about what to get him. My brother..Dillan.. he looks just like dad. Sure, dad had a shaggy beard most of the time, but when I was a little girl, my dad would shave it, he always ended up with a pocky chin.. Dark hair always hung low in dads dark blue eyes. Only me and Dillan have those eyes. But Dillan has the long dark brown, almost black hair to hang over them. I have my moms blonde hair. I would say it's darker than hers..or any of my sisters though. All my sisters have that platinum blonde. Well, Shelly has brown..
He looks just like my dad.
I ran into him on the way to the base, as I had said before. He was with Amerie and Savannah. Amerie was his best friend since seven years old. I used to think she was the coolest when I was little. She lives with Dillan and Savannah now. Savannah is Dillans little girl. Looks just like her mother. Katherine died because of Dillan's job. There was a big controversy over Katie and Amerie. Amerie refused to talk to Dillan anymore. I never really like Katie, but my brother was head over heals in love with her. Never told anyone but me. Then Katie had a baby. His baby, that's when everyone found out. Amerie was devastated. She's like a sister to me.
She had been in the alliance longer than my brother. It was a dangerous profession. When I saw her after she first was assigned, I was breathless. She looked grown up. Her long blue-black hair was cut at her chin, and shaped around her face. The notorious jackets all affiliated with the blue alliance had to wear was fit to her body. She was deadly, but beautiful. Then my brother joined too. Amerie dropped out after Katie was killed. She moved in with Dillan and helped him raise little Savannah. Too bad she'll never know her real mother. I find it sad how the bright eyed, blonde headed, shirly temple looking girl.. who looks nothing like the two, calls Amerie 'mommy'. She's eight years old this April.. I love that little girl.
I told them I was on my way to Howards.. They all believed me, but I think Dillan knew better. He gave me a weird look the whole time. He never said anything though. Then a ran off to the base..
"Hey uncle Howard.."
"Yeah? Huh? Whats up Ber..?"
I stared at his face for a while..i remembered being really young..and he was younger too. He had aged a great deal. She couldn't believe he was the same man now as way back then.
"Duo's been hurt.."
"Huh? what do ya mean?"
His scratchy voice was questioning..
"Duo's been hurt"
He sighed and looked up at the ms before him. It was Duo's of coarse. Deathsythe. I couldn't stand myself at the time.
"You shot him didn't you..?"
He knew!?!?
"Wha..? But how?!"
He laughed a bit..
"I know you too well Little Bear..you didn't want to..but you had to..that's how you get by.is it not?"
He had known all this time? I am still confused.
"Uncle Howie..how long have you known..?"
"Ha..ha ha..since your fourteenth birthday"
"But.."
"I saw you get that package from whoever it is..and I heard your phone call.."
"But I thought.."
"Don't worry, your secrets safe with me..i mean..i keep a lot of secrets..how do you think Duo came to trust me?"
"Your both in a sweepers group.."
"Well yeah..but..i cant let just anyone know that I know a Gundam pilot.. I could get killed.. expecially in these times."
The mobile suit before me was silent..but I think I could hear the words it tells its pilot's.. I could hear faint words in the silent air.
I jumped into the suit. Smiling.. I could hear Howie call me back..but it was two late.
The suit wasn't hard to figure out. I left the hangar. I was in the empty space. I drifted away from the colony. I drifted as far as I could. Then a went as fast as I could and as far away from life as possible. Then it was just me in the empty space. I stopped and let Deathsythe drift, almost as if she were sleeping. I sighed..knowing as was as alone as I could get. It smelled like Duo.
The vidcom popped on..Uncle howard of course.
"Get back here..you don't even know how to use a ms!! What if Duo needs it..what if oz tries to attack you!!"
"How do you know I don't know how to use a ms?"
"Uh..?"
"Ha ha.."
I flipped the switch off..the vidcom button just flashed and I ignored it. It stopped. And I let myself doze off for about 30 minutes..
When I woke up..the vidcom buzzed again..i sighed and flipped it on.. It was someone I hadnt expected.
"Duo.. what are you doing? Shouldn't you be back on the.."
Heero Yuy. I laughed to myself and switched it off. A flared up the jets and headed back to the base. And to my surprise, Yuy didn't try to attack me. Not until I was neer the base. I took out the green sythe and moved him out of my way before preparing to dock. He didn't try again.. I think he was confused. Haha..
As I the cockpit opened..i saw Uncle Howard standing there..pretty mad. Then the Wing Zero docked right next to the gundam 02. I jumped down..floating to the bridge. Uncle Howard ran over to me and grabbed my shoulders. Then something happened I didn't expect.
A brown-headed15 year old with a three-foot braid slowly walked over to the bridge..didn't look happy. He stood there, hand resting on his stomach. He grinned.
"You thought that little shot would kill me?"
I don't think I would ever see him truly mad. Heero Yuy came out of the wing. He probably questioned Duo after I left.
"I'm sorry Duo.."
I turned to leave..brushing past Howard and Heero.. I tried to run past Duo but he just grabbed my shoulders..I tried not to breathe. I admit..i was scared. I didn't want to be there..
But he hugged me. That I didn't expect. He gave me a big bear hug. He whispered in my ear.
"I don't know what's up or what happened..but it's obvious we need to talk."
He let go and gave me his famous smile.. Hot tears fell down my cheeks..he wiped them away..
"I'm sorry.."
I ran out with a tear streaked face.. I ran to my car and drove for at least an hour. Then I was almost thrown off the road. I have to get a knew window fit for my car..they tried to shoot me! I cant believe it. Now I'm just trying to figure who it is.. then there's a couple of men that tried following me..all I can figure is Erin. He's the only one I can think of who is trying to kill me. I managed to lose all four of them. I couldn't go home. I couldn't go anywear. I was trapped.
So I called Duo. We needed to talk ne? So I called him. He agreed to meet me at the base tonight. He is gonna take me somewhere so I can be safe..or so he says. I trust him..but..he didn't know where he was gonna take me on the phone, but he is..who knows?
So in an hour im going to walk to the base.. I am..i dunno he suggested it. I don't mind walking..but I don't see how that's going to be 'safer'. Im scared to death. I don't know what I'm going to do..Duo wont always be there..he's kinda preoccupied with the war.. I just don't know.
If I would have killed him.. I would be just as miserable..but..I wouldn't be in this mess..what am I gunna do???
[(closure)]
........
disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing..
.......
[(entry 7)]
[3.00p.m. -Tuesday, February 18th]
I know he's not dead. He isnt dead. I only shot him in the stomach. If he were to die it would be the most painful death. But, knowing the area of that appartment.. a neightbor would have immediatley heard the shot. And the shouting. I havent been able to sleep since then. I last wrote in this stupid notebook about ten hours ago. Since then a lot has happened.
First, I ran into my brother on my way back to the base to see my uncle. I was probably going to lie to him.. But I ran into my big brother. I havent seen him for two years. I forgot that tomorrow, February 19th was his 29th birthday. I wont see him though. If I were, I would be worrying about what to get him. My brother..Dillan.. he looks just like dad. Sure, dad had a shaggy beard most of the time, but when I was a little girl, my dad would shave it, he always ended up with a pocky chin.. Dark hair always hung low in dads dark blue eyes. Only me and Dillan have those eyes. But Dillan has the long dark brown, almost black hair to hang over them. I have my moms blonde hair. I would say it's darker than hers..or any of my sisters though. All my sisters have that platinum blonde. Well, Shelly has brown..
He looks just like my dad.
I ran into him on the way to the base, as I had said before. He was with Amerie and Savannah. Amerie was his best friend since seven years old. I used to think she was the coolest when I was little. She lives with Dillan and Savannah now. Savannah is Dillans little girl. Looks just like her mother. Katherine died because of Dillan's job. There was a big controversy over Katie and Amerie. Amerie refused to talk to Dillan anymore. I never really like Katie, but my brother was head over heals in love with her. Never told anyone but me. Then Katie had a baby. His baby, that's when everyone found out. Amerie was devastated. She's like a sister to me.
She had been in the alliance longer than my brother. It was a dangerous profession. When I saw her after she first was assigned, I was breathless. She looked grown up. Her long blue-black hair was cut at her chin, and shaped around her face. The notorious jackets all affiliated with the blue alliance had to wear was fit to her body. She was deadly, but beautiful. Then my brother joined too. Amerie dropped out after Katie was killed. She moved in with Dillan and helped him raise little Savannah. Too bad she'll never know her real mother. I find it sad how the bright eyed, blonde headed, shirly temple looking girl.. who looks nothing like the two, calls Amerie 'mommy'. She's eight years old this April.. I love that little girl.
I told them I was on my way to Howards.. They all believed me, but I think Dillan knew better. He gave me a weird look the whole time. He never said anything though. Then a ran off to the base..
"Hey uncle Howard.."
"Yeah? Huh? Whats up Ber..?"
I stared at his face for a while..i remembered being really young..and he was younger too. He had aged a great deal. She couldn't believe he was the same man now as way back then.
"Duo's been hurt.."
"Huh? what do ya mean?"
His scratchy voice was questioning..
"Duo's been hurt"
He sighed and looked up at the ms before him. It was Duo's of coarse. Deathsythe. I couldn't stand myself at the time.
"You shot him didn't you..?"
He knew!?!?
"Wha..? But how?!"
He laughed a bit..
"I know you too well Little Bear..you didn't want to..but you had to..that's how you get by.is it not?"
He had known all this time? I am still confused.
"Uncle Howie..how long have you known..?"
"Ha..ha ha..since your fourteenth birthday"
"But.."
"I saw you get that package from whoever it is..and I heard your phone call.."
"But I thought.."
"Don't worry, your secrets safe with me..i mean..i keep a lot of secrets..how do you think Duo came to trust me?"
"Your both in a sweepers group.."
"Well yeah..but..i cant let just anyone know that I know a Gundam pilot.. I could get killed.. expecially in these times."
The mobile suit before me was silent..but I think I could hear the words it tells its pilot's.. I could hear faint words in the silent air.
I jumped into the suit. Smiling.. I could hear Howie call me back..but it was two late.
The suit wasn't hard to figure out. I left the hangar. I was in the empty space. I drifted away from the colony. I drifted as far as I could. Then a went as fast as I could and as far away from life as possible. Then it was just me in the empty space. I stopped and let Deathsythe drift, almost as if she were sleeping. I sighed..knowing as was as alone as I could get. It smelled like Duo.
The vidcom popped on..Uncle howard of course.
"Get back here..you don't even know how to use a ms!! What if Duo needs it..what if oz tries to attack you!!"
"How do you know I don't know how to use a ms?"
"Uh..?"
"Ha ha.."
I flipped the switch off..the vidcom button just flashed and I ignored it. It stopped. And I let myself doze off for about 30 minutes..
When I woke up..the vidcom buzzed again..i sighed and flipped it on.. It was someone I hadnt expected.
"Duo.. what are you doing? Shouldn't you be back on the.."
Heero Yuy. I laughed to myself and switched it off. A flared up the jets and headed back to the base. And to my surprise, Yuy didn't try to attack me. Not until I was neer the base. I took out the green sythe and moved him out of my way before preparing to dock. He didn't try again.. I think he was confused. Haha..
As I the cockpit opened..i saw Uncle Howard standing there..pretty mad. Then the Wing Zero docked right next to the gundam 02. I jumped down..floating to the bridge. Uncle Howard ran over to me and grabbed my shoulders. Then something happened I didn't expect.
A brown-headed15 year old with a three-foot braid slowly walked over to the bridge..didn't look happy. He stood there, hand resting on his stomach. He grinned.
"You thought that little shot would kill me?"
I don't think I would ever see him truly mad. Heero Yuy came out of the wing. He probably questioned Duo after I left.
"I'm sorry Duo.."
I turned to leave..brushing past Howard and Heero.. I tried to run past Duo but he just grabbed my shoulders..I tried not to breathe. I admit..i was scared. I didn't want to be there..
But he hugged me. That I didn't expect. He gave me a big bear hug. He whispered in my ear.
"I don't know what's up or what happened..but it's obvious we need to talk."
He let go and gave me his famous smile.. Hot tears fell down my cheeks..he wiped them away..
"I'm sorry.."
I ran out with a tear streaked face.. I ran to my car and drove for at least an hour. Then I was almost thrown off the road. I have to get a knew window fit for my car..they tried to shoot me! I cant believe it. Now I'm just trying to figure who it is.. then there's a couple of men that tried following me..all I can figure is Erin. He's the only one I can think of who is trying to kill me. I managed to lose all four of them. I couldn't go home. I couldn't go anywear. I was trapped.
So I called Duo. We needed to talk ne? So I called him. He agreed to meet me at the base tonight. He is gonna take me somewhere so I can be safe..or so he says. I trust him..but..he didn't know where he was gonna take me on the phone, but he is..who knows?
So in an hour im going to walk to the base.. I am..i dunno he suggested it. I don't mind walking..but I don't see how that's going to be 'safer'. Im scared to death. I don't know what I'm going to do..Duo wont always be there..he's kinda preoccupied with the war.. I just don't know.
If I would have killed him.. I would be just as miserable..but..I wouldn't be in this mess..what am I gunna do???
[(closure)]
