Where the Grass is Greener

Chapter Three

The doctor came in from Sara's room.

Everyone stood up, anxious to know what happened to her.

"Hi, I'm Doctor Mills," she said cordially. "Are you all friends of Sara?"

Everyone either said 'yes' or they nodded.

"Well, Sara is stable for now, but I'd like to keep her here for a few days," Dr. Mills explained. "She had a nervous break down. She may be manic depressive. She's on a thorazine drip right now, but I'll prescribe some medication for her when she wakes up. Is this the first time she's broken down?"

"Yes," Grissom answered.

"Is she suicidal? Did she threaten to hurt herself? Has she hurt herself before?" The doctor asked.

"Yes," Warrick said. "She's told me that she tried to commit suicide a few years back. There's scars on her thighs."

Everyone looked a bit shocked at this revelation.

Dr. Mills nodded and noted it in her log. "Well, you can go in and see her if you like."

"Thank you doctor," Grissom said.

Warrick was the last to go in and see her. He had never seen her look so fragile before. She was pale and she was in a deep sleep. She looked peaceful and calm. He took her hand. He could not understand her pain. She was lonely, yet she did nothing to help that. She lived a mundane life, work the only thing that could truly make her happy. He shook his head in frustration. He felt as if it was his fault. He should have stayed longer when he met her for coffee. It was just coffee. He could have spared her a few hours of his time. It wasn't like he had anything better in his life to do. He was okay with his personal life, though. He had ways to channel his energies. He played the piano at a posh club on the strip when he had the night off. He spent his days at home either reading or playing his piano or listening to music.

He could not understand the complex puzzle that was Sara. From the first day he met her, he didn't think there was something right about her. That was only because she was hell on wheels trying to get him fired from his job. He had not liked her then, but once the investigation was over, they became friends. As pretty as Sara was, he didn't think that she was one to break down. He thought she was the strongest woman he knew.

Warrick soon grew tired, and he had to get home. He gave her small hand one last squeeze of hope that she would pull through before leaving.

***

He couldn't sleep because he was thinking about Sara. He could never forget her face all sweaty, and soaked with tears. He'd never heard her scream in such pain.

He saw so much in her. She was smart, beautiful, intelligent, and she was outspoken. She just wanted somebody to pay attention to her. And what was she talking about with Grissom before she went off the deep end?

He would never know.

Warrick ran his hand over his face and he plopped down on his couch. Why was it bothering him so much? Sara was going to be okay, so why was he so nervous about her? Maybe she wasn't going to get through her trauma. Maybe she had finally snapped and she will be forever mentally ill for the rest of her life. Or she would get out of the hospital and then she would try to kill herself again. He hadn't seen the scars, but he knew they were there, and they haunted her.

He blamed himself for not making any time for her. He felt guilty for calling her a barking lunatic. He didn't really mean that, it was just reactionary because she had been so different. He concluded that her falling out happened after the case of the raped teenager. She was found dead just twenty feet from her front door. She was almost home, in the safety of her parents, and some punk who didn't want twenty-five years to life had killed her. That was when Sara started to lose it. She had crawled into the Tahoe and cried for the fifteen year old. After that case, she cut her hair, she wore more make up, and she even changed the way she dressed. Tighter clothes adorned her body.

Sara had made subtle, but noticeable changes and Warrick knew he was really the only one that noticed. They weren't bad changes, she looked good, but she wasn't happy. She didn't make the changes for the reasons he thought.

He sighed and went to his bedroom to try and get some sleep. He would get Sara some flowers and take them to her before shift. He didn't know what kind of flowers she liked, but he would manage. Sara couldn't have been that picky over flowers.

***

Sara woke up feeling exhausted and drained of every inch of her energy. Her head was hurting, and she was dizzy. She looked around and she was in an unfamiliar setting. She sat up a little to take in her surroundings. A hospital. Why was she in a hospital?

She reached over to the call button and pressed it, signaling the nurse.

An older woman came in and checked her vitals.

"Ah, you're up," she said in a sweet voice. "We were getting worried about you, young lady."

"What?" Sara asked, confusion her dominating state of mind at the moment. "Why am I here? Was I drunk?"

"No," the nurse said, laying her back down gently on the bed. "You had a break down."

"What?" Sara asked. "I had a break down?"

"Yes," the nurse said. "Oh you poor thing. You came in here yesterday so distraught and you were nearly suffocating yourself from your crying. A nervous break down. I've had my share in my lifetime dear."

"No," Sara said. "I don't break down."

"Oh but it's nothing to be ashamed of," the nurse said. "Sometimes, we just need to slow down and reevaluate ourselves, and our bodies and minds aren't willing to let us do that so easily when it involves changing a life that we've become so accustomed to."

Sara sighed. "I can't believe this. I made a big scene?"

"It happens to the best of us dear," the nurse said, smoothing down Sara's hair. "Oh, a nice young man dropped off some flowers for you earlier this evening. I think he likes you."

"Grissom?" Sara asked.

"No, he was younger, taller, darker," she explained. "He's quite a handsome young man."

Sara laid down and put her hands across her belly. "I can't believe this. When can I get out of here. I hate hospitals. No offense to you."

"Well, the doctor wants to keep you for a few days," the nurse said. "Don't worry, you'll be out of here in now time."

"Can I see the flowers?" Sara asked.

The nurse nodded. She brought the bouquet of lilies. Sara looked at the card. The flowers were from Warrick. She smiled and smelled them. They smelled refreshing. She put them on her nightstand so that the smell was closer to her.

"Hey nurse, do you think you can get these restraints off me?" Sara asked.

"Sure," the nurse said. "And It's Cher."

"Cher," Sara giggled. "Wow, I bet you get teased a lot."

"Yeah," chuckled. "There you go. Feel better."

"Yeah, thanks Cher," Sara said. "I'm not a total nutcase am I?"

Cher sighed. "No dear," she said. "You're human, and you have feelings."

With that, Cher left the room. Sara sighed heavily and she gave into her fatigue. Warrick brought her flowers. She smiled. He was a sweet guy. She made a note to thank him when she got out of the hospital.

She did feel a bit of relief. All of the pain ran through her system. She'd cried enough for a life time. She couldn't remember what caused her break down exactly. She knew her loneliness had a lot to do with it, but what finally made her go off the deep end? Something made her go off her rocker.

"May as well think about it in the morning," she sighed to herself as she went to sleep.

***

Warrick went Grissom's office.

"Hey Warrick," he said in his usual tone.

"Hey Gris," Warrick said as he sat down. "I'm really worried about Sara."

"We all are," he said, pulling off his glasses.

"Yeah," Warrick paused, trying to find the right way to ask Grissom of the cause of Sara's break down. "You were with her when she lost it. Why did she go off?"

Grissom leaned back in his chair and rubbed his temples. "She came in here, distraught, and she asked me if I loved her."

Warrick was surprised. "What?"

"She asked me if I loved her," Grissom explained. "I told her that I didn't love her romantically, but that I love her as a person. That's when she went off."

"I heard that part," Warrick said. "She truly deeply loves you."

"She must," Grissom said. "And she knew I knew, and I played that against her for a lot of years."

"Why didn't you just tell her the truth?" Warrick asked.

"I don't know," he answered. "I thought I'd ruin something for her."

Warrick just sat in silence for a few seconds before speaking again.

"She was lonely," Warrick said. "She just wants somebody to give a damn about her."

"Warrick, we all care about Sara," Grissom said.

"I know, but we never really paid that much attention to her," Warrick said.

"We or you, Warrick?" Grissom asked.

Warrick looked at Grissom.

***

Sara was not enjoying the processed delight that was hospital food. She pushed her tray away and grimaced.

"Hey, I thought you'd want some real food," a deep voice called from her door.

She looked over. "Hey Warrick."

"Hey girl," he said. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay, considering I'm in this hell hold for another twenty-four hours," Sara said, the contempt not lost in her voice.

"Well, I brought you a little bit of civilization," Warrick mused. "I have here, a garden salad made fresh at that deli across the street, a diet coke, and an apple and Twizzlers."

"Oh, thank you so much," Sara said with a smile. "How did you know I like Twizzlers?"

"I saw you gnawing on some one shift," he explained.

"Thank you," Sara said. "For everything. For this, and the flowers, their beautiful."

"I'm glad you like them," Warrick said while handing her the salad.

"They smell beautiful," she said as she popped the top on the salad. "Did you get fat free dressing?"

"No, I got the fatty kind," Warrick said. "Sorry. I forgot that it'll go straight to your thighs and those hips," he said sarcastically.

"Shut up," Sara chuckled. "Well, did you at least get Ranch."

"No, I got Italian," Warrick said.

"Oh Warrick!" Sara laughed. "God, you can't ever go wrong with getting Ranch."

"I tried," he chuckled. "For some reason I thought that you liked Italian over Ranch."

"Well, you did good," Sara said gratefully. "This is so much better than that goo factory over there. Ugh, it's disgusting. That is the price I pay for going nuts."

Despite how crude it was, Warrick laughed with Sara.

Sara forked her salad hungrily and savored the fresh crunch.

"Mm…" she moaned. "Thank you. This is so good."

"Good," Warrick said.

Sara blushed and looked up at him. "You must think I'm a pig."

"No, eat up," he said. "I like a woman who eats."

Sara smiled and continued to eat her salad. "I owe you."

"No you don't," Warrick said. "That's what friends are for."

Warrick sat and talked to her for about two hours. It made Sara happy that at least one person was concerned about her. Her other coworkers had not even dropped her a line. She felt slightly hurt, but at least Warrick was there with her. She chomped down on her Twizzlers. They were her guilty pleasure.

"I'll pick you up when you get discharged," Warrick said. "Just call me or page me."

"Okay," Sara said. "Thank you Warrick. Thank you for putting up with me."

"You're very welcome," he said with a smile.

Sara snuggled into the suddenly comfortable hospital bed and smiled. Warrick was the sweetest man she knew. Nick was nice, but he wasn't nearly as polite as Warrick was. Nick was like the little brother out of the group, while Warrick was mature and level headed. It surprised Sara that he had been so nice to her. She treated him so badly when they first met. Now, they were close friends.

Sara was bored out of her mind. She walked around, then she requested some reading material. She read three Harlequins in two days. Finally, it was her time to be discharged.

"Now Sara, I'm prescribing some Zoloft for you," Dr. Mills said. "This is an anti-depressant. It will help you manage your moods better. I'm also giving you some birth control pills too, to help with the moods too."

Sara didn't care. She just wanted to get home.