Did You Ever Know?

By BiblioBabe

Disclaimer:  Not mine.  Not the show, not the actors, not the song, not the singer, not the movie.  None of it.  Course, that means no profit, no reward but feedback.  Just for fun, eh?

Short songfic.  Unashamedly shipper.  Pretty much current storyline.

1745 Eastern

The Beltway

En route to Harm's place.

Harm sighed as he hit the scan button on the radio again.  It had been a long day; he just wanted to get home.  The radio paused on a station playing a soft piano melody, obviously the opening to a song.  He hit the scan button again to stop it from changing just as the singing started.  Bette Midler's voice softly crooned among the rush hour traffic.

Ohhhh, oh, oh, oh, ohhh.
It must have been cold there in my shadow,
to never have sunlight on your face.
You were content to let me shine, that's your way.
You always walked a step behind.

Harm smiled; he had always loved that song.  He hadn't heard it in years.  Beaches had been an okay movie, but he didn't really care for Barbara Hershey.  The song, though, it was great.  Harm got swept away listening to the beautiful lyrics.

So I was the one with all the glory,
while you were the one with all the strain.
A beautiful face without a name for so long.
A beautiful smile to hide the pain.

Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
for you are the wind beneath my wings.

It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
but I've got it all here in my heart.
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.
I would be nothing without you.

Something tugged at the back of Harm's mind.  The lyrics seemed different, somehow.  Suddenly, the phone on the seat next to him started playing "Anchors Away," breaking the moment.  Picking it up, he looked at the caller ID and recognized Mac's number.  Something snapped in his mind, like two puzzle pieces fitting together.  Mac.  That song reminded him of Mac.  Shaking his head, he answered the phone, vowing to pick up that thought when he got home.

1900 Eastern

Harm's Apartment

North of Union Station.

All the supper dishes had been washed and put away.  Harm picked up his guitar and tuned the strings.  Looking at the sheet music he'd printed off the internet, he began to play.  "It must have been cold there in my shadow, to never have sunlight on your face," he sang.  That was so true.  He being first chair in the SecNav's defense had only been the most recent instance.  "You were content to let me shine, that's your way.  You always walked a step behind."  He thought of all the times she had followed him—to the dock in Norfolk, twice to Russia.  She was right behind him, backing him up every step of the way, even when he thought he didn't want her there.

"So I was the one with all the glory, and you were the one with all the strain."  They had tried two historic cases together:  the tribunal of the suspected al-Qaeda, and then defending the SecNav in front of the World Court.  She had been second chair both times.  Future International Law students would remember them as Rabb and MacKenzie, always assuming she was just some sort of second fiddle.  Batman and Robin; Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid; the Lone Ranger and Tonto; Rabb and MacKenzie.  The hero and the sidekick.  In truth, he wouldn't have won either of those cases without her.  She did a lot of the legwork; during the tribunal, she had almost been killed.  He still hadn't forgiven Webb for putting her in that situation.  "A beautiful face without a name for so long, a beautiful smile to hide the pain."  Mac.  Even AJ called her "Auntie Mac."  No one called her by her given name, Sarah.  No one, that is, who truly cared for her, respected her.  Dalton had, and Mic had, and Webb did.  It was so beautiful, he thought, but he usually didn't call her that.  It was too . . . personal.  He didn't feel that he had the right.  He had known her for so long, but still . . . .  Her smile was so beautiful, but it was a rare treat to see a full-fledged smile.  He couldn't remember exactly the last time he had.  She had so many cares, so many responsibilities.  It was almost always tempered.  Come to think of it, the last real smile he had seen was when she had smiled at Mattie.  Not at him, of course.  He didn't have that ability any more.  It was a memory now, the time he could make her smile as if she didn't have a care in the world.

"Did you ever know that you're my hero, and everything I would like to be? I can fly higher than an eagle, for you are the wind beneath my wings," he sang.  It was true.  She was a wonderful person.  Yes, she had hurt him from time to time, but not as much as he had hurt her; of that he was sure.  Paraguay.  Paraguay hurt.  After thinking about it, though, he could understand.  The last time someone had given up his commission for her, it had been Brumby.  She was trying to defend herself.  He had refused her on the ferry, and she had run to Brumby.  The Australian oaf had resigned to come win her.  It had actually been a chance remark by Harriet that had opened his mind to the possibility that she had reverted to self-defense.  Any mention of waltzing Matilda made him cringe, too.  His plane, Sarah.  His grandfather had named it for his grandmother, but he could never think of the plane without thinking of Mac.  He remembered how the Admiral had looked at him when he said that he would gas up Sarah.  Chegwidden hadn't looked surprised, just bemused and a little ticked.  Arm couldn't decide whether it was because he hadn't told the admiral or if it was the advice he had given Harm and Mac the first day they met.  Don't get too close, Harm thought.  You two will be working together.  Don't get too close.  Yeah, right.  It was impossible not to feel close to Sarah MacKenzie.

"It might have appeared to go unnoticed, but I've got it all here in my heart."  He noticed everything about her.  The way she brushed her hair away from her face while she worked on a file, the way she held her hands while cross-examining a witness, the way she surreptitiously checked that her medals were straight in the mirrored doors of the elevator.  He noticed all that; of course he noticed all she did for him, all she did for those around her.  She'd been a God-send helping him with Mattie.  Jen was a great big sister, but Mac was like a mother to the girl.  Mac advised him, too, on what he should say, what he should do, to be the best father he could be.  It was working.  He was getting better at the parenting thing all the time.  Harriet and Bud helped, of course, as did the Admiral, but Mac was always there.  Harriet, too, had mentioned once or twice that Mac had been very helpful around the time Jimmy was born.  He noticed, there was no doubt about that.  "I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.  I would be nothing without you."  Without Mac.  That was a scary thought.  Where would he be?  Most likely dead or in the brig.  He didn't know which, but neither was a happy aspect. Without Mac, he didn't even know who he was.

Oh, the wind beneath my wings.
You, you, you, you are the wind beneath my wings.
Fly, fly, fly away. You let me fly so high.
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.

Fly, fly, fly high against the sky,
so high I almost touch the sky.
Thank you, thank you,
thank God for you, the wind beneath my wings.

She was the wind beneath his wings.  She supported him.  She was his partner, his confidante, his best friend, his strongest adversary in the courtroom, his closest ally outside.  She was his hero.  She had done so much, overcome so much.  He knew that had he been faced with half the obstacles she had, he would have laid down and given up.  Not Mac.  She persevered.  Jar-head stubbornness, yes, but she never gave up.  Harm felt that she was nothing short of heroic.  When he was with her, he felt as if he could do anything.  Thank God she was in his life, he didn't know where he would be without her.  He only knew that he would be alone.

AN:  Hope you liked my short SongFic.  Not what I usually write, but I thought it was cute.  If you liked it, please drop me a line!