Where the Grass is Greener
Chapter Nineteen
Sara was in the bathroom scrubbing away at the tub. She wanted it to shine. She didn't know that Warrick was standing behind her in the doorway looking at her butt, which was going in rhythm with her scrubbing. What she was wearing didn't help his situation either. She had on silk pajamas which were shorts and a spaghetti top and he could see the outline of her jade green thongs through it.
She straightened up a bit to wipe her forehead and then she went back to scrubbing. This time, she scrubbed faster and her butt went even faster in motion. Warrick couldn't stand just looking any longer.
She stood up and turned and she yelped in surprise as Warrick approached her.
"Oh, honey you scared-"
He interrupted her with a passionate kiss. Sara immediately responded and kissed him deeper. She held her hands away from him because the gloves she was wearing had cleaner on them. She took off the gloves and threw them into the tub and then she wrapped her arms around his neck. Warrick began to kiss her neck as his hands roamed all over her body.
"Warrick, I'm all sweaty and nasty," she said.
"I don't care," he whispered. "You'll sweat even more when I'm done with you."
Sara made a lusty sound as he raised her arms over her head and swiftly took off her pajama top. He kissed her chest as he picked her up and sat her on the counter. She felt how much he wanted her.
"Honey," she purred as she looked south.
She kissed him again fervently.
They made love like never before in their bathroom, and when they climaxed, they swore that they disturbed their neighbors.
"That…was just…" Sara couldn't even find the right word to describe their intimacy. "Oh my God," she chuckled.
Warrick kissed her again and then he sat next to her on the counter and leaned against the mirror. Sara was in awe of their actions before and she smiled widely.
"You planned this didn't you?" She asked, covering her breasts with her arms.
"No, actually," Warrick said. "I saw you scrubbing the tub like a mad woman and your butt was going with you and one thing lead to another…"
"Well, I'm glad you stared so intently at my ass," Sara said. "Thank you."
She leaned in and gave him a slow, lusty kiss.
"Hmm," she started in between kisses. "We haven't…done it…in the…kitchen…yet."
"Good idea," Warrick said.
She felt him pick her up and carry her to the kitchen.
***
"What'd I miss?" Sara asked as she hurried back to the couch with some licorice.
Warrick took one from her and rewound it back to the part that she missed. It was hard watching a movie with Sara. She talked through a movie and she got up and went to do different things while a movie was on. The odd thing was that she picked the movie. They were trying to get through "The Hours" and Sara had to get up and make popcorn, then she got up and got something to drink, then she went to go get some licorice.
"Okay," she said. "Right there is good."
Warrick sighed and played the movie. He had seen the same scene three times in a row. It was a good movie, but between Sara and her need to get up every ten minutes, he was starting to dread the movie.
"What happened? Wait, I think we need to go back a little more sweetie," she said reaching over him to grab the remote.
Warrick rolled his eyes.
"What?"
"Babe, we've gone back four times," he said in exasperation. "Just sit and watch the movie."
"Well, is it okay that I want to go back and try to understand the movie?" She asked in frustration. "What's the point of watching a movie if you don't get it?"
"That's because you keep fidgeting and talking," he argued. "We wouldn't have to go back if you would just watch the movie."
She looked at him with fury in her eyes and she threw the remote down on the table. "Forget it."
"Where are you going?" Warrick asked. "Aren't you going to watch the rest of the movie?"
She just growled in frustration and went into their bedroom and slammed the door.
Warrick leaned back into the couch and started the movie again. At least he would be able to watch it in peace. He loved Sara to death, but some of her habits were irritating. When he married her, he knew he didn't just marry her; he married her family, her friends, her OCD tendencies, and her habits. He smiled.
A few minutes later, Sara came back into the living room and sat down. He tried to put his arm around her shoulders, but she pulled away and crossed her arms over her chest and focused on the movie.
"Baby," Warrick started.
"Don't talk to me," she warned. "We might miss an important part of the movie."
Warrick shook his head.
Later that day, when they were cooking dinner, Sara asked him the strangest thing out of the blue.
"Sweetie, do you want to get a dog?"
Warrick turned and looked at her. He didn't particularly like dogs, or any other pet for that matter, but by the look in Sara's eyes, she looked like she wanted one pretty bad.
"What kind of dog?" He asked, skillfully avoiding the question.
"I don't know," she said. "It depends."
"Maybe," he said. "I'm not much of a dog person. I really don't like animals in general."
Sara nodded then went back to whatever she was doing. Warrick wondered what brought that on.
He noticed that she really hadn't been herself. She wasn't the most happy go lucky woman in the world, but she had been a little more reserved than usual, and it was starting to get him worried.
"Babe," he called.
"Yeah," she answered, her back turned to him.
"What's the matter?" He asked.
"Nothing, why?" she asked, turning to him, smiling that fake smile he knew all too well.
"Just wanted to know," he said.
"Oh, well I'm fine," she chuckled.
Warrick wanted to believe her, but part of him didn't, and he wanted to know what was really going on with her, but he didn't press the matter. If he did, then she would never tell him, and he would never know. He just hoped that she was happy; that he was making her happy.
***
Sara thought about her marriage thus far to Warrick. He was a great husband, a great provider, and a great lover. He was everything that she knew he would be. He made her happy beyond anything, but she still felt like there was something missing.
Sara was grocery shopping with Catherine.
"I don't know why I'm unhappy," Sara said disparagingly as she picked up a box of cereal and threw it into her cart. "I love Warrick more than anything, but I still feel like I'm not complete, you know? God, I've only been married for seven months and I've already got the blues. I should be happy, glowing, having sex more times than I can count on both hands. Is there something wrong with me?"
"Sara, what is it that you truly want?" Catherine asked as she picked up some granola bars.
"I just want to be happy, feel happy, live happy," she said. "Warrick is the most loving, most sweetest man I know and I love him deeply. I'm comfortable with him, but I'm not happy. It's because of me. I know that he's probably asking himself the same questions as I am. I know he thinks that I'm crazy. Hell, he saved me from killing myself."
People in the store stopped what they were doing and looked at her. Sara tinged red and she and Catherine moved out of the aisle quickly.
"Have you talked to him about how you feel?" Catherine asked looking at the nutrition label of a product.
"No," Sara answered. "I don't know what to say to him."
"Just be honest," Catherine said practically. "If you lie to him, you'll never get what you want."
Sara sighed.
***
Warrick was not sure what Sara was about to tell him, but he was prepared either way. She came home from the grocery store and put the groceries away silently before coming into the living room and sitting him down across from her. Something in her eyes told him that there was something wrong.
"Warrick," she started. "Are you happy?"
He looked at her strangely for a second before answering.
"Yeah," he said. "Of course I'm happy."
"I mean, really truly happy, like you're satisfied with your life," Sara clarified.
That was a difficult question. There were plenty of things that he wanted to do in his life, but he was still happy nonetheless. He knew that he would get to do all those things in life with Sara at his side. The only way he could be unhappy was without Sara and he prayed that he would never have to live without her.
"I'm satisfied with my life at this point," he said. "Sweetie what are you trying to ask me?"
She hesitated for a moment before starting.
"I'm glad that you're happy and satisfied with your life right now," she said. "But I'm unhappy."
"Why? Is it me?" He asked, taking her hand.
"No, no, you're wonderful," she said, turning away from him. "It's me. I feel like there's something missing, and it's very unsettling and confusing."
"What is it that you want?" He said.
"I want a baby," she said quietly.
"Well, we can start trying whenever you want," Warrick said.
Sara let go of his hands and stood up. She began to walk around.
"I went to the doctor the other day so they could check on my post surgery progress," she explained. "And they told me that everything was fine. I asked them if I could conceive and they told me yes, but…"
Warrick's heart was beating so fast he thought that it would explode.
"But what?"
She began to cry.
"They told me that if I did get pregnant that the baby wouldn't last in the first trimester," she cried. "I want a baby, I want to give you a baby but I can't. That's why I'm so unhappy."
"Sweetie, it's okay," Warrick said.
"No, it's not," she said. "I asked the doctor why and he told me that it was because my uterus is too small and too thin. He said that it was because of the cysts and that it was heredity…all these different things and it's killing me inside."
Warrick hugged her tightly.
"What good am I to you if I can't give you children? What kind of wife am I?"
"The good kind, the beautiful kind," Warrick whispered. "I love you. It doesn't matter to me whether we can have kids or not. As long as I get to spend the rest of my life with you, that's all that matters."
"Warrick," she whispered. "I want to try," she said desperately. "I don't care what the doctor says. I want us to try and have a baby. We can prove them wrong."
"Are you sure?" He asked, looking into her eyes.
"Yes," she said. "I want to make you happy, and I want us to be happy."
He leaned down and kissed her passionately.
