Push You Off A Cloud

Chapter 3

Ditched the Logical

By: Rachel*

Rated: PG-13/R

Genre: Angst/Romance

E-mail: PeachGirlKiley@aol.com

Web Address: www.Spike-Faye-Shrine.cjb.net

I've got a little bit of a higher rating this time. It's for the drugs/other stuff etc. Hence the angst in the fic…you'll get it when you read it.

Everyone tell me what you think! R+R

Disclaimer: I Don't Own Cowboy Bebop

          The sun rose up from the murky waters of Mars and glistened against the glass of the skyscrapers that stood off in the distance near the city. Gulls cried and horns of ships beeped around the docks of the bay. It was early morning and already Mars was alive and well.

          Spike's eyes opened and he took in a deep breath of air before letting out a lazed yawn. He turned his head and the pillow made a rustled noise as Faye let out a small whimper of protest and soon fell back to sleep. He looked down at her. She was still clinging tightly to him. He smiled weakly and brushed back the stray whips of hair from her face. "I told you that I'd still be here in the morning." He sighed and stared up at the ceiling.

          "Morning…" Spike's brown eyes widened as Shin's face beamed down at him. Spike jolted forward and went right through Faye's body. She sank to the bed and let out a small sigh and snuggled into the warm of Spike's pillow. "Have a nice night's sleep Spike?"

          Spike blinked as he stared up at the head still masked with a peppy little smile. "What the hell—"

          "Now-now…should an angel be cursing like that? Honestly you can't expect them to be giving your brownie points for every time you flip out a—"

          "What the hell are you doing here?!" Spike shouted. He looked back and Faye didn't stir. "Why can't she hear me, you aren't taking me back already are you?" Spike bit down on his lower lip and looked back at Faye and she coiled into a ball and buried herself under the covers.

          Shin sighed and floated down onto the floor. "No, I'm here to congratulate you for keeping Faye alive through the night, smart thinking with the 'I'll be here in the morning' stuff." He smirked at Spike and sighed looked over at her. "Well, you've still got time, don't get to close to her, you'll be coming back so…" Shin shrugged his shoulders.

          Spike bowed his head and shadowed his face. "Yeah, I know." He bit down on the right side of his cheek. "Can I go back to sleep now?"

          Shin nodded. "Yes, try and get her out today too. Take her to the park or something, just remember—"

          "They can't see me, I know, I know." Spike nodded his head and closed his eyes yawning.

          "Get yourself a cup of coffee, you look offal." Shin grimaced.

          Spike rolled his eyes. "Too bad I can't see myself in the mirror." He cracked his neck as Shin disappeared. He touched the bed and sighed when his hand no longer went through it.

          Looking to Faye he smiled and looked at the clock. It was still early, she wouldn't notice if he went and got two coffees for them. He leaned forward and then pulled back when he noticed he was about to kiss her. "Spike," she whispered in her sleep and rolled over. Her mouth parted and she let out a gargled snore before curling back into a ball. He smiled and then exited the room.

          Jet blinked when the door to Faye's room opened and shut. "Back to her room she goes…" Jet sighed. "It'd be nice to say good morning to people so they know you're still alive Faye!" Jet squawked and shook his head.

          "Morning…" Spike mumbled and brushed past him. Jet blinked and shivered.

          "Damn that heater, I thought I had it working too." He grimaced.

          Spike turned back and smirked. "Jet!" he shouted and jumped in front of him. "You're losing your hair old man…" He chuckled as Jet shivered again and walked away. Spike sighed and walked into the kitchen and smiled when he saw the already made coffee. "You can't blame me for drinking it." He let a wide grin cross his thin lips and took two mugs and filled them to the top.

++++++

          Faye stirred and opened her eyes when she heard shouting from the living room. She shivered and let out a yawn. "Spike…?" Her eyes widened when she remembered his words. "Where," she looked around. Her face lost all emotion and her eyes closed half way. Her lips parted. "Damn you." She whispered. Her body shook, he was so real. Her heart wrenched and she leaned forward letting out a silent cry. A tear rolled off her cheek, followed by another.

          She scrambled to her feet and grabbed a bottle of pain killers from her top drawer. Shaking she popped off the top and stared at the handful and poured them into her hand. Shakily she walked to her bedside and stared at the stale glass of water. Tossing five into her mouth and holding onto the rest she took hold of the glass and swallowed them down. She closed her eyes tightly.

          The door opened and she heard his voice as he hummed to a song and came into the room with two mugs filled with coffee. "Faye, are you…" he trailed off when he saw her and smiled. "I got you a cup of…" He stopped again and looked at her tear streaked face and then to her hand that was filled with white gel capsules. She dropped the plastic prescription bottle and shuttered out a cry.

          Spike's eyes were wide and he dropped the mugs. They smashed to the ground and Spike threw himself forward and gripped onto Faye's shoulders. "No…" He shook his head. "Damn it, how many have you already taken?!" he growled and knocked the rest out of her hand.

          Faye screamed out of frustration. Spike took her water glass and poured it onto the other pills ruining them. "You're not here…" She shook. "You lied, you said—" he slapped her.

          "Damn it Faye, don't kill yourself! Especially over me of all people!" he shuttered. "Cough them up." He bit down on his lower lip, his two-toned eyes shook. "Gag, something, Faye, you need to cough them up!" He wiped her tears away.

          She shook her head and looked away. "No, you'll go again, you left me. You said you'd stay."

          "I did stay Faye, I went and got some coffee, I thought you'd still be asleep." He held onto her. "Faye, please, for me, I don't want you to die too." He pulled back and kissed her on the corner of her mouth.

          She shook and nodded her head. "Fine…" She trembled.

          She shuttered and staggered towards the bathroom and began coughing. Spike fell onto his back and ran his hands over his face. "Why me, God?" he whispered. He sighed and slid off the bed and onto the floor. He could hear Faye throw up in the bathroom and he relaxed a little more. He grimaced when he sat in the water and stood. Beginning to get changed he stopped when the water disappeared. He paused and stared at it. "Only Faye," he breathed. A trace of a smile showed on his lips as she shuffled back into the room with a warm washcloth in her hands, and held it up against her face. "Get um all?"

          "All but one," she frowned and looked at him. "Is that okay?" She walked over to Spike, over the coffee, and leaned into him. Spike nodded and he wrapped his arms around her waist.

          "That's okay." He sighed into his hair. Faye shivered.

          "You're warm." She spoke quietly. "If you're an angel, aren't you dead, you should feel cold, shouldn't you?"

          Spike stared at the ground before he smiled. "I'm as real as anything to you Faye." He tightened his grip around her. "No one else can hear, see, or feel me…well, except for children ten and younger and animals..." He blinked and let out a light chuckle.

          She nodded and looked up at him. He stared back at her as she looked him over. Eyeing his chest she placed her right hand over his heart and closed her eyes before leaning into him and listening to his heart beat. "You're heart's racing." She bit down on her lower lip.

          He frowned. "I'm nervous; it's my first time being an angel after all." He held his breath as she shuttered. "Don't cry…" He soothed.

          She shuttered again and moved her hands to her face and wiped her eyes. "You're going to leave again."

          He stopped and didn't move for a moment. He let out a gasp of breath as he gave into breathing. "Yes, and I don't want you to kill yourself over my death Faye." He put his hand under her chin and raised her face to meet his gaze. "Do you hear me Faye? I don't want to see you again after I leave, for a very long time…"

          She pouted and bowed her head. "Damn it Spike…" She started to say and then stopped.

          "You'll go to—" He stopped when everything froze.

++++++

          "Spike, you can't tell her that she'll go to hell so bluntly." Shin frowned.

          Spike blinked as Shin stood in front of him again. "What…why is she frozen?" He stammered and tried to move Faye, but she wouldn't budge.

          "It'd be traumatic if you just turned invisible on her." Shin sighed. "Be discreet; don't just tell her exactly, if she says it…well, then yeah you can…but..." Shin blinked when he noticed he was confusing his friend. He shrugged his shoulders started to disappear. "What the hell, just wing it…" Shin rolled his eyes.

         Spike's mouth dropped and he puffed his cheeks. "Stop eavesdropping!" Spike snarled. Shin just laughed and waved a farewell.

++++++

          "I don't care, and don't say that you're not worth it, because you are." She locked her arms around him and cried into his chest. Spike turned his head back to Faye as everything returned to normal again.

          Spike swallowed. "Faye…if you kill yourself heaven isn't going to be happy." He chewed on his lower lip as she peered up at him.

          Faye rippled her lips together and nodded. "Hell…at least it'll be warm—" Spike shoved her away and she fell onto her bed.

          "If you want to die, go ahead, kill yourself, here, take the rest of these pills and see what happens to you Faye." He picked up the few that were still okay and chucked them at her.

          She flinched and coiled into a ball. "That's not fair." She whispered. "You left me, you died, and now I want to leave and you won't let me." She shuttered. "Why can't I die, I want to stay with you—"

          "Cause, I won't be in hell to keep you safe Faye! I'm going to heaven, you won't!" He knocked over her lamp and it fell to the ground and smashed into pieces.

          Faye cried into her pillow and Spike clenched his teeth and walked over to her side and leaned into her. He kissed her left shoulder and rested his head into the back of her neck. "Spike…" She stood and he backed a foot away.

          He shook his head. "It'll be okay, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you so upset." He thought back to the Bebop the day he left. "Why didn't you tell me you loved me?" He could see her. He had said it a little too bluntly…

          "You were in love with Julia, for all I know you still are in love with her." She whispered.

          Spike felt the pain in him start to reel again. His arms shook. "No." The pain stopped. "She's with Vicious, if you kill yourself, be sure to tell them I say hello." Faye's eyebrows rose. "She loves Vicious; I wasn't there to stop her from going there to see him…going to hell…" He sighed. "Shin told me…before I came to see you that she jumped off the clouds, if you do that, you send yourself to hell." He chewed on his thumbnail.

          Faye pulled him towards her and wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his chest. Spike smiled and just held her as he fell back on the mattress. "If I could, I'd stay here forever, but I don't think they're going to let me." He pointed up towards the sky. Faye nodded.

          "I'll stay alive." She whispered. "For you, I will, if that's what you really want." She rubbed her eyes with her hand and rested against him. Spike ran his fingers through her hair, and nodded before kissing her on the cheek.

          "Thank you," he whispered. He shut his eyes and could feel his cheeks flush as she moved closer towards him. Hovering over him she pulled her hair behind her right ear and kissed him. As his heart raced, it broke at the same time as he felt a few more stray tears roll off her cheeks.

          "Spike…" She sighed and just held onto him.

          He smiled. He'd kissed her, and felt something new. Was he in love with her?

          Do you love her Spike? Tell me Spike, do you?!

          Shin's voice drilled into his brain. His eyes slowly shut and he pulled her a little closer. Faye dug her fingers into the fabric of his yellow shirt and sighed into his mouth as he pulled away enough to look at her.

          Faye's face turned red, she knew this wasn't a dream now, he was real. "I'll stay with you for as long as I can Faye." He smiled and locked his arms around her. He stared at her arms. They were very pale. "You should go outside, its warm, you can get a tan and stuff. I'll go out too." He brushed his face against hers.

          She smiled and managed a nod. "Lets get the mess cleaned up and then I'll get ready."

          Spike thought for a moment. "Hey, have Ed or Ein come back yet?" He yawned and sprawled out on the bed as Faye pulled out a dustpan and brush from under the bed to clean up the broken mug pieces, and ruined pain killers.

          Faye shook her head. "We got a postcard, she said to say hello to you. I cried for hours after reading that. It had a little Polaroid picture of her and Ein together on one of the beaches on Venus taped to it. Her father had taken it. Jet's got it in the kitchen on top of the fridge if you want to look at it." Spike sat up and turned his head to the side as he watched her gingerly sweep the pieces into the pan, taking a little bit of coffee and water with her. Every now and then a gel capsule would go in, followed by more water.

          "So she doesn't know that I'm dead?" He frowned and stared at his feet.

          Faye shook her head. "No, she knows…Jet wrote a letter back, she hasn't replied though. Who knows if she got it, or if she did how she reacted."

          Spike frowned. "I think I'm hungry..." He mumbled. "Can I even eat?" He wondered aloud.

          Faye smiled. Spike bit his bottom lip. It was a genuine smile; he hadn't seen one on her face in what seemed like forever. He stood and cracked his neck and back. Faye grimaced and hit left leg with her foot. "You've got a beating heart, don't you?" She stood and put her hand on his chest again. Spike watched her pull her hair back and then peered up at him. "That means you can eat."

          Spike grinned. "You want some coffee…?" He trailed off and headed for the door as she finished cleaning up the mess. She nodded. "I already tried to see if Jet saw me or not, but he didn't…" Spike sighed and shrugged his shoulders. "Whatever, it's all good."

          Faye rolled her eyes and skipped off into the bathroom shutting the door behind her. Spike bit his lower lip and looked up at the ceiling, reaching his fingers up and scraping along the metal, rusted surface. He closed his eyes and pictured her leaning into him again. She was so warm, but…did he love her? Jet was sitting on the couch and Spike smirked trying to rub his balding head, but failed in his attempt. He saw the mail pile. It was stacked in four neat, tall piles. Spike couldn't help himself. He walked over and with a kick of his foot sent them flying into the air and onto the ground.

          "Damn it to hell, what did I do to deserve this?" Jet growled and sat up quickly and ran around, picking up the letters and bills.

          Spike chuckled, shaking his head. "Spike," Faye covered her mouth as she saw Jet look up at her oddly. "Sorry, I meant Jet, do you want to…" She trailed off. "Never mind," she walked into the kitchen and Spike followed taking her hand.

          Spike turned his head to the side a grin on his face. "What is it?" He felt brave and pressed her into the counter and kissed her neck. Anything she needed, he'd do for her. Spike shut his eyes and melted into her frame. He could feel his heart racing again.

          She blushed, and shrugged her shoulders. "Don't know," she smiled her voice whispering breathlessly into his ear. He nodded and pressed his forehead to hers.

          Jet stood and Spike could hear footsteps. He backed away quickly, and Faye got her own mug out of the cabinet and poured the black steaming liquid into the ceramic mug. "Faye, you look better today, something good happening that I don't know about?" He smiled and took a bite of a bagel he'd been toasting.

          She smiled. "Nothing too special," Spike frowned, and he sighed walking away. Faye let a wide smile form across her face and cheerfully walked out of the room with Spike by her side.

          Jet smiled and looked back shaking his head. "Something good must have happened, that or you're moving on… Either way, at least you're happy again." She sipped her coffee and handed the mug to Spike.

          "There," she kissed him on the cheek and skipped off into the bathroom. Spike's cheeks burned and he blinked taking a sip of the coffee. He smiled when he figured out he could in fact eat.

          Spike sighed. "I can eat, but I don't have to." He shrugged his shoulder and slid down the wall in the hallway without a care. The logical had been lost a long time ago. He ran his tongue along his front teeth as he listened to her get into the shower, and pulled the curtain. "Love…her." He closed his eyes and an opulent grin crossed from ear to ear.

…Living Yet Dead…     

Laa, so, how was this chapter? I rated it cause I wasn't sure how light, or heavy it'd be violence wise. Don't kill yourselves people, it isn't worth it, you'll just cause problems for others. Cheaters never win… +_+' Heh. Sorry if that bothers anyone… Anyway, happy holidays to all and to all a good holiday season!! *_* It's CHRISTMAS EVE!! ::dances around:: LoL, I just got done my shopping an hour ago too. Actually, I still have to go out with my mom to grab a few trinkets for my dad… +_+ Heh, talk about last second. Welp, I must be going! I'll fill you in on how Christmas went next chapter!

Read + REVIEW!!!