Where the Grass is Greener

Chapter Twenty Two

Angie came scratching at their bedroom door, barking and whining. Warrick really hated that stupid dog. He was sleeping good until the dog woke him up. Sara was on his shoulder, and she stirred at the sound of the irritating brat of a dog. He felt her smiling against him and he sat up to face her.

"That dog is annoying," Warrick said.

"Come on Warrick," Sara said, getting up out of bed. "You haven't given the poor dog a chance."

"This is the dog's third household," Warrick argued. "The first time she ran away, the second time the family brought her back to the shelter, and this time, the little banshee is with us, driving me crazy."

"Warrick," Sara said as she crawled back onto the bed. "You can be so dramatic sometimes."

She leaned in and kissed him. He pulled her back down to the bed with him and kissed her deeper.

Warrick grinned and pushed a strand of hair from her face. She looked beautiful and he couldn't help but kiss her again. She smiled and then she climbed over him and went into the bathroom.

"So, do you think we'll finish redecorating this afternoon?" Sara asked from the bathroom.

"I think so," Warrick answered as he opened the door for Angie.

Warrick rolled his eyes as Angie followed him around, barking and trying to keep up with his ankles.

"Come here Angie," Sara called. "Come on girl."

Angie ran over to the bathroom. Warrick ran a hand over his face as he picked up their work clothes for working on the next room. Sara put a lot of stock into the dog. She bought the Pomeranian a Prada collar. It was one hundred seventy dollars. Warrick was upset and he expressed his views to Sara, who fought back heatedly. She won.

But lately, they'd been putting a lot of stock into something else together and they hoped that the final product would be perfect.

Sara's grandmother decided that she did not want to stay in Las Vegas. Instead, she went to Atlantic City, much to Sara's disappointment, and Warrick's relief. Warrick met Sara's grandmother a few days before their wedding. All of the Sidle women were fiery and he feared them all. Her grandmother was the ringleader.

"Sweetie, what are you thinking about?" Sara asked as she came out of the bathroom.

Warrick turned and he was immediately called to attention seeing her in just her bra and panties. They were purple lace with vines as the design. He knew that she was truly concerned, but he couldn't take his eyes off of her. He'd never seen that particular underwear before. She looked sexy and he couldn't bring himself to say anything to her.

He figured that she noticed that he was wondering about her underwear.

"Oh, there was a sale at Lane Bryant," she explained. "Buy one get one free. Do you like it?"

"Hell yeah," he said under his breath in awe. "I mean, yeah. They look nice. I like the color too."

"Thanks," she said, looking at him strangely. "Anyway, come on, let's get the room done."


Sara smiled as she painted their former office. They moved their office equipment into their spacious master bedroom and cleared out the closet. There was a new arrival coming soon, and they had to get the room all fixed up to match his specific tastes.

"Do you think he'll like it?" Sara asked as she stepped back to look at the pattern they painted on the wall.

"He'll love it sweetie," Warrick assured her. "Don't worry."

Sara threw down the paint brush and sighed heavily as she sat down on the floor.

"I don't know," she said. "I'm so nervous."

"You don't need to be nervous," Warrick said as he sat down next to her. He began to massage her shoulders.

"What if I'm a bad mom?" Sara asked despairingly.

"You'll be a great mom," Warrick chuckled. "He's not even here yet and you're worried about what kind of mother you'll be."

"Pre-maternal jitters," Sara giggled. "How are you holding up?"

"Me?" He started. "I'm a little nervous myself, but I'm excited."

"Is it right for me consider myself a mother?" Sara asked.

"Of course it is," Warrick said. He kissed her cheek. "You'll do fine."


"Mr. and Mrs. Brown?" The assistant called from the main office.

Warrick looked over at Sara, who was paralyzed with anxiety. He squeezed her hand and helped her up onto her wobbly feet and they went into the main office together. Warrick had been acutely aware of how warm it was in the office. He felt the sweat forming at the back of his neck, and when their name was called, he felt even more nervous. Sara gripped his hand tightly.

The headmistress was sitting in her black leather desk chair and looking through some papers.

"Ah, Mr. and Mrs. Brown," she said cheerfully. "Please, have a seat."

They reluctantly let go of their hands to sit in the widely spaced chairs across from the desk.

"It's been a while," Warrick started.

"Yes, it has," Headmistress Thorington chuckled. "Well, I've looked through all of your credentials, your lines of credit, your home life, and your rather odd yet prosperous line of work, and it seems like you are a loving, happy couple."

Warrick grinned at Sara as she looked to him proudly.

"You are a loving, happy couple," headmistress said. "And you're just what this agency is looking for, except one thing…"

Warrick's heart began to beat wildly out of control.

"Well, we're not biased or anything, but you're an interracial couple and…"

"Well what is that supposed to mean?" Sara asked, losing her control.

"Well, I was just getting to that," headmistress said. "You qualify for adopting Darren, but he's an African-American child and quite frankly, it is in this agency's opinion that all children should have equal chances…"

"What is it exactly that you're saying?" Warrick asked, afraid of where the conversation was going.

"Well, for one, we have plenty of mixed children and it's not often that they get adopted, and it's best to keep your options open," headmistress explained nervously. "And two, Darren's mother doesn't want him with an interracial couple."

Warrick looked over to Sara who was shell-shocked.

"Excuse me?" She asked, near the brink of rage.

"Well, we do have to honor the parents' wishes when it comes to the child," Headmistress Thorington explained.

Sara grabbed her purse and got up prepared to leave.

"Mrs. Brown, you have to understand…"

"Understand?" She asked. "Understand what? That people let their ignorance get in the way of the welfare of their child?"

Warrick tried to comfort her, but she pulled away.

"No," she said. "You know what? You people make me sick! Do you know what it's like to lose two babies? Do you understand how painful it is to know that your own body will fail at doing the one thing you always wanted? Obviously you don't. My husband and I have sacrificed our privacy, opened up our home and now you tell us that we can't adopt Darren because of ignorance?"

"Mrs. Brown that is not fair to call the child's mother ignorant," the headmistress said harshly.

"Not fair? It's not fair to that little boy that he won't be able to go home today!" Sara cried. "I went to that playground last week and I promised him that he was coming home with me. Warrick and I painted his room the way he wanted it yesterday and we bought him furniture. I promised him!"

Sara opened the door and stormed out.

Warrick stood up.

"I'm terribly sorry," the headmistress said.

"It took you almost a year doing a background check on us," Warrick said with an edge to his voice. "You called us last week and said that Darren was going to be coming home with us. If we go to another agency…it could take us much longer to adopt another child. How can you do this? Is there any way we can contest?"

"No, I'm afraid not," the headmistress said. "I really am sorry."

Warrick sighed and headed out to find his wife. He found her leaning against the car trying not to lose her balance with her crying. He rushed over to her and he hugged her tightly as she cried.

"I'm sorry babe," he whispered. "I'm so sorry."

Sara held to him tighter as she cried.

"I promised him!" She repeated. "I promised him!"

"Shh," Warrick whispered. "I know. Come on sweetie. Let's go home."


Not being able to adopt Darren not only hurt her heart, but it hurt deep down where she felt barren. Sara had promised the little boy that he would be coming home with her. She would never forget his face and his brown eyes. He was cute as a button, and when Sara first saw him, she knew that he was the right one.

It was very difficult seeing all those children, showing out for searching adoptive parents, but Darren was the quiet one, and he looked like it didn't make a difference whether he went with a family or not.

Warrick opened the door for Sara and she went in solemnly. She knew that her eyes were puffy from her hysterical crying and that she wasn't looking like the bride Warrick married. She stood in the middle of the foyer, biting her thumbnail, trying not to cry. She felt Warrick wrap his arms around her waist and she turned and hugged him.

"Is it me, Warrick?" She asked. "Is it because of my breakdowns and medical history?"

"No, it's not you," Warrick assured her.

"I just want a child, is that so much to ask?" Sara cried.

Angie seemed to have sensed that there was something wrong and she didn't come charging at full speed to the door.


Warrick wanted to make their first anniversary special. Sara had been so saddened by not being able to adopt Darren that he wanted to make her feel good for at least one night. He appreciated and loved Sara.

He had gotten her out of the apartment long enough so that he would have plenty of time to make dinner and prepare for afterwards. He took Angie to Nick's and Nick was anything but happy to keep the noisemaker of a dog, but Warrick begged him to keep Angie over night. Warrick didn't want the dog to be the first thing he woke up to.

He made vegetarian friendly food for Sara. He even put out the ugly dinnerware that Sara bought from Tuesday Morning on the dining room table to make her even happier. There was a trail of roses that led from the front door to the bedroom and bathroom, a dozen roses were on the bed, and there were candles lit. He knew Sara would like the roses and the candles. Warrick made sure that they were aroma therapy.

As for her gifts, he bought her a red silk nightgown that would definitely flatter her figure, a pair of pajamas with matching slippers, a necklace with a heart shaped pendant lined with diamonds, and a grooming set, which happened to be the Sidle women's family heirloom. It was antique and Sara's mother told him how much she loved it.

Warrick hoped that their anniversary would make her feel better, despite all that was going on.

When everything was prepared, he turned on some music, then he waited for her to get home.

After about another twenty minutes, he heard her coming through the door.

She gasped.

"Happy anniversary," Warrick said as he wrapped his arms around her. "You look sexy."

She had on a black halter dress, compliments of Catherine.

"Thank you," she said. "Happy anniversary to you. Thank you so much. I was surprised."

"Really?" Warrick asked. "Nick didn't open his big mouth to you?"

"I didn't hear one," she started in between kisses. "Single…word."

Warrick smiled and pulled back a little to inspect her figure. "You look so beautiful."

Sara blushed.

"I love you," she said.

"I love you too," Warrick said before giving her a tender kiss.


Sara loved all of her gifts and she was glad that Warrick liked his gift. She gave him a watch that had his name engraved on it, and their wedding picture on the face of the watch.

She enjoyed the dinner that he made for her, and the good part happened when it was time for her bath. She had not taken a hot bubble bath in so long. The minute she got into the tub, she relaxed into him and smiled in delight.

"Thank you sweetie," she sighed. "This is just what I needed. You really hit the spot for our first anniversary."

"I knew that you would like this," Warrick said as he sluiced water over her legs.

"Thank you for such a wonderful night," Sara said. "And the best part is that it's not completely over yet."

Warrick caught on to what she was talking about and he began to kiss her neck right at the spot that turned her on. She leaned into his kisses. She leaned up and captured his lips with hers and kissed him sensually.

"I love you," she said against his lips.

"I love you too," he whispered back.


The next morning, instead of Warrick waking up to Sara's rosy cheeks, he woke up to her rustling the sheets trying to get out of bed quickly and to her inhumanly green face. He wondered what was wrong with her.

She pulled him onto the floor because the sheets were tangled around both of them. He had to roll around a few times to unwind himself as Sara made her way to the bathroom.

"Not the best way to wake up after the first anniversary, but I'll take it," Warrick grumbled to himself. He got up off the floor and pulled on a pair of boxers and followed Sara into the bathroom.

"Babe, what's wrong?" He asked. "Are you going to be okay?"

Sara put a hand up to let him know that she was going to be alright. She gripped the counter with her hands and looked into the mirror and breathed deeply. She gagged a couple of times. Slowly, her face regained its color and she turned on the faucet and splashed some water on her face. Warrick had no idea what her episode was about.

"Are you sure you're okay now?" Warrick asked.

"Yeah," she said. "I just woke up a little nauseous. I'll be fine. I have to brush my teeth."

Warrick went over to his side of the counter to his sink and followed suite. He watched as she instantly paled again as soon as she started brushing. It didn't seem to bother her, so he continued to brush his teeth.

He looked over again and as soon as Sara opened her mouth to brush her tongue, she threw up. It got all over her faucet and the counter. She threw her toothbrush down and ran to the toilet. Warrick rubbed her back as she threw up everything she ate from the day before.

"I'll go get you some water," he said.

Warrick went to the kitchen and got her a glass of ice cold water. By the time he got back to their bedroom, the door was closed and he could hear her retching violently within. He knocked on the door.

"Just leave me alone for a bit," she requested.

About thirty minutes later, she stopped vomiting. She finally emerged from their bathroom, pale and exhausted. She rubbed the thin layer of sweat off of her forehead and sighed.

"I'm sorry honey," she said. "Not the most beautiful way to wake up is it?"

Warrick chuckled. "It's not your fault. Do you think the fish I cooked you was bad?"

"No, I know how you are about checking labels," Sara said. "I think it just didn't agree with my stomach. It was good on the way down though."


Sara leaned in the doorway of what would have been Darren's room. It still smelled of fresh paint.

Sara began to cry. She felt Warrick wrap his arms around her.

"Darren would have loved his room," she cried. "He would have had a great view, and he would have been able to see where we work."

Sara wiped her tears. She felt dizzy all over again and she broke from his embrace to go to the bathroom. She figured that she had contracted salmonella from the fish. Bad batch.

She heaved into the toilet one more time before standing on unsteady legs and going over to the sink. She splashed cold water onto her face and exited. She didn't have a fever or diarrhea thank God. It would have made her even more miserable. Something in the back of her mind was telling her that it was something else, but she pushed it out of her mind.

"That's impossible now," she said to herself into the mirror. "Don't fool yourself."

When she emerged from the bathroom, Warrick wrapped a blanket around her and led her to the couch.

He kneeled in front of her when she sat down.

"Don't look at me," she said as she turned away. "I know I look awful."

"No," Warrick said, putting a hand on her tearstained cheek. "You look beautiful."

Sara sniffed and she leaned in and hugged him.

"I love you so much," she whispered.

"I love you too," Warrick whispered back.

They held each other for what seemed like an eternity before Warrick pulled away and sat next to her on the couch.

Angie appeared out of nowhere and hopped up onto Sara's lap. Sara chuckled as she rubbed Angie's ears.

"Someone's been into the Kibbles," Warrick quipped.

"What do you mean?" Sara asked.

"Don't you think that Angie's gotten a little…chubby?" Warrick asked.

Sara furrowed her eyebrows. "No," Sara said indignantly. "Don't listen to daddy, you are not chubby."

Angie only barked. Sara laughed when Warrick tried to pet the dog and she growled.

"Stupid dog," Warrick muttered under his breath.

Sara put Angie down and then she leaned against Warrick. She treasured the moments she spent with him. He was so sweet and kind and he didn't push her pr make her do anything. He was comfort through all of the things that had been going on in their lives thus far. More had happened to them as a couple than any one couple should have to endure.

"Do you think we'll be okay?" Sara asked.

"Yeah, I think we'll be fine," Warrick answered.


Sara felt Warrick wrap his arms around her waist as she cooked dinner. She giggled.

"Warrick," she chuckled as he kissed her neck. "I'm trying to cook here."

"I know," he whispered. "But you look fine girl."

"Stop it," she said with a smile.

"You do," he said as his hands caressed her hips and her thighs. "And how could I not come over here and kiss the most beautiful woman in the world?"

Sara leaned up and kissed him before going back to stirring the sauce for the ravioli. She felt one more kiss to her neck and then he unwrapped his arms from around her waist. He smacked her butt before going into the pantry to retrieve some items she requested.

Sara turned off the stove and let the sauce sit while she drained her noodles for her ravioli. She had garlic, green onions, and mozzarella to stuff the ravioli. Her mother taught her how to cook when she was eight. Growing up in a B&B taught her certain skills that she knew she would otherwise have learned as an adult. One of them was letting go, and an instinct for survival. Sara remembered three occasions in which her life and her family's life was threatened by a strange person, or a political foe from Italy.

Letting go was a lesson hard learned when one of her best friends died in a car wreck. Sara knew she had to move on with her life for her friend's sake. The same applied to her now. Sara finally did accept that she and Warrick couldn't have a baby of their own, and they'd given up on the adoption process. Sara found that she was still happy nonetheless. As long as Warrick was by her side, she knew that she would have to let go. She knew how much Warrick loved her. And she loved him more than anything. That was all they needed.