Disclaimer: I own nothing in this story. Except for Selphie's shirt. I just now realized that....

Author's Notes: Hey guys. I haven't ever written FF8 fanfiction before, so please excuse any horrendous mistakes that I've made. I realize that this thing is probably full of cliches', so I'll apologize beforehand. It's extremely hard for me to write stories. I usually start out with a notebook full of notes, and a plot outline. Then I get a few encyclopedias to research whatever it is I'm writing about, and change or add to the plot line or notes accordingly. Then I may go the library and pick up a book on myths or monsters and such just to add some relevancy to my story. Then I'll go home and add to my notebook. After looking through the information I've gathered, I question what I was trying to write in the first place and conclude that I don't have enough innate talent to actually carry out writing the story. Then I usually cry.

Seriously though, this story is different than anything I've ever (not) written, because I actually had no plot or anything in mind while writing it. A one-liner would pop up in my head, and I centered the story around it. I originally just wrote down the dialogue in my notebook, and added the rest while typing it. So if the story is disjointed and confusing, I apologize for that also. There are two more stories I've written to follow this, and I'll probably just make a three chapter trilogy. But if my feedback is okay, I might continue. This was written with no particular timeframe, but to be on the safe side, I'll say it takes place after the game. Sorry for such a long note, on with the story!

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Balamb Garden

SeeD Dormitories

Room 24

11:06 PM

The room was basically the same as any other SeeD dorm, though a bit larger than most. White walls, gray carpet, small windows. But every room has certain decorations that separate the occupant from the one next door. This particular room happened to have light blue drapes over the windows, several nature scene paintings on the walls, a bed in the corner with a dark blue spread and a wooden bedside table with an oak dresser beside it, an oak desk and chair with a lamp and some other knick-nacks scattered on it in another corner, and a white sofa with a wooden coffee table in front of it near the door.

On the sofa sat three girls. One was a raven haired girl, dressed in a blue spaghetti strap top with black shorts. Beside her sat a slightly shorter girl with brown hair, sporting a yellow sleeveless shirt, and tan skirt. The third girl was a taller blonde wearing a white collared button-up shirt and blue jeans. On the other side of the table stood a half naked man with bleached blond hair gyrating to music only he could hear.

"Whatever they're paying you, I'll double it if you leave right now!" The blonde shouted at the man, half hysterical.

"Aw, come on, it's your birthday, you're entitled to have some fun!" The raven haired girl replied, grinning.

Idiot! She should have known this would happen! This is what she got for trusting Rinoa and Selphie. She should have known something was up when they came to her room accompanied by a Galbadian soldier who had "Something very important to show you." She should have noticed his uniform color was a bit too light, the fabric a little too thin. But, no. She hadn't suspected a thing. Because she was an idiot.

"This is not fun! It's a direct violation of protocol. Section 7.3C of the handbook strictly states-" Quistis' panicked ranting was quickly cut off by Selphie.

"Please. Everyone knows Section 7 was only added because of that time Aki got caught with those escorts." Selphie scoffed.

"Regardless, this is completely inappropriate! If Cid were to find out-" Quistis was once again cut off.

"Cid knows." Rinoa quickly supplied.

"It was Edea's idea." Selphie chimed in.

"What!?"

The shirtless man stared at the three girls in confusion.

What was this broad's problem? He'd done everything right. The whole "soldier boy" routine the other two girls had told him to do had gone off without a hitch. He'd gotten a few strange looks from some of the residents as he walked down the hall dressed in Galbadian blue, but he was as respectful and professional as a real soldier would have been. Before he had reached his client's dorm room, his two contacts had met him, just as planned. As soon as he entered he'd told the blonde he had something very important to show her in his most serious voice. Then he'd begun his routine. First the helmet dropped, then he went for his shirt. Before he had the chance to get to his pants however, his client had shocked him by screaming for him to leave. Apparently she hadn't realized until then what exactly was going on. But that didn't make a difference. They were still paying him. The costume rental alone was 50 gil, and had come from his own pocket. He'd be damned if he was gonna get screwed out of his money because his client was too uptight to appreciate him.

"Listen, ladies," The three girls stopped their bickering and looked up at him, apparently having forgotten he was there, "striptease or not, I'm not leaving here until I get my 300 gil." He crossed his arms over his well-muscled chest, scowling. The blonde looked to the other two in disbelief before jumping up and grabbing her purse from her dresser. Walking around the table, she stood in front of the man, sorting through her wallet.

"Fine. Here's..... 600." She shoved wad of money into his hand. "Put your shirt back on and forget that this ever happened."

The man looked slightly hurt for a second, but his expression changed to puzzlement as he eyed his payment. "Huh. I'm not sure whether to be thankful or offended."

"Neither am I...." Quistis retorted, turning to glare at Rinoa and Selphie.

"Don't be mad, we thought it would be funny!" Selphie explained, holding her hands up in defense.

The man straightened up, his shirt half on. "Funny?!" He questioned indignantly.

Selphie turned to him, an embarrassed look on her face. "N-not you.....well, kind of you....yeah... Sorry." she apologized sheepishly.

He shook his head, then pulled his fake helmet back on. "Oh well. Guess I can't complain. Haven't ever gotten such a big payday for doing nothing. See you ladies." With a little wave to them all, he left and quietly shut the door behind him.

Silence. Quistis stood glaring disapprovingly at the both of them, her hands on her hips. After about 20 seconds, she sighed and put a hand to her head. "It is late, and I am now very tired. We will discuss this in the morning. Goodnight." Taking that as their cue, Selphie and Rinoa quickly got up and walked out the door, not meeting Quistis' eyes as they left. After the door was slammed in their faces, they stood in the hallway staring at the number '24' for a while to see if Quistis was only kidding and really was going to open the door and say "Thanks for the stripper, guys!" Unfortunately, she didn't, so the two resignedly shuffled down the hallway back to Selphie's room to watch some movies. After about five seconds of silence, Selphie decided to comment on what had just happened.

"Told you we should have gotten her drunk first."

"Yeah, yeah, I know, Selphie's always right." Rinoa replied airily.

Just when they were about to reach Selphie's dorm room, they heard someone call their names from behind them. They turned to see a blond boy with a tattoo on the left side of his face approaching them. He was wearing a white tank top and black sweat pants, and by the look of the green gore splattered on his shirt, had just gotten back from the Training Center.

"Hey, have you two seen Quistis? I heard there was a Galbadian soldier asking for her dorm number at the front desk." Zell asked, looking worried.

Panicking, Selphie fumbled for an answer, "Uh, yeah...he was, um..."

"-Dropping off her dry-cleaning!" Rinoa blurted out before she could stop herself.

Zell gave her a strange look. "At 11:00 at night?"

"It was her..... nighttime dry-cleaning....." Selphie stuttered, trying to cover for Rinoa's lame answer.

Zell frowned. "Riiiiight...."

Oh no! He's onto us! Think, Rinoa, think! "Yeah, uh, when we went shopping with Quisty in Deling City last week, some guy spilt his drink all over her suitcase, and it got on her pajamas, so the hotel offered to dry-clean them for free-"

"They're so nice!" Selphie exclaimed, a little too loudly.

"Yeah! And they sent the security guard at the hotel, who is a soldier, to bring her pajamas back to her, since she's so important and stuff." Rinoa lied through her teeth, hoping that Zell would buy it.

Zell's expression lightened up, but he still looked a bit suspicious of them. "Oh. So....there's nothing wrong....?"

"No! Just, you know, shiny clean pjs! Nothing dirty or anything! Ow!" Rinoa had elbowed Selphie when she said dirty and shot her a quick, panicked look.

Zell cocked his head to the side and silently scrutinized the girls' behavior. "You two are acting strange," He suddenly grinned, ".....are you drunk?!"

Both girls' heads shot up to stare at him. Rinoa spoke first. "Oh......were we that obvious?" She asked, faking disappointment but secretly thankful for Zell jumping to the wrong conclusion.

Zell's grin widened. " 'Fraid so. I take it Quistis is too?"

Selphie casually spoke up, relief coursing through her. "Oh yeah, as loaded as a shotgun. She's sleeping it off, but she'll have a heck of a hangover in the morning."

Zell scratched the back of his head with a gloved hand. "She's not the only one. I hear the Trepies celebrate her birthday too. But to be honest, I'm surprised you even got her to drink...." He turned to Selphie. "Did you pester her into it?"

She laughed nervously. "You know me...."

"Thought so. Even Quistis can't shut down a determined Selphie." He shook his head. "Well, I'll see you girls tomorrow. The guys'll be disappointed in you though." Zell remarked, smirking.

"What!? Why!?" Rinoa yelped, guilt flooding her.

"It's not everyday you get to see an inebriated Quistis Trepe. Irvine, Squall, and I feel left out." Zell mock pouted. "But we understand, you wanted a girls night, you got one. There's always next year, I guess. See ya in the morning" He gave them a thumbs up, and continued down the dorm room hallway to his room.

Rinoa let out a breath when he was out of earshot. "That was too close."

"Yup." Selphie replied, opening her dorm's door.

"We're so stupid."

"Yup"

"Quistis is gonna kill us tomorrow, isn't she?"

"Yup."

Thanks for reading. The next chapter includes a violent Selphie, a lying Irvine, and a Selvine Cult Conspiracy! Stay tuned!