[A/N: I do not own SPEW or Harry Potter. Not for profit, copyright infringement is not intended. I do own Binky, and no one else can have her. Illustration URL at end of text.]

SPEW Testimonial: My Binky

My house elf, Binky, was my best friend, closer to me than a sister. Everywhere I went, Binky followed. We grew up together. I told her every secret and every dream, and Binky only spoke when spoken to. Binky potty trained me while she still wore a diaper. She braided my hair, read me books, and I shared all of my chocolates with her. I even gave her Valentines and Christmas presents. She baked me special cakes, pies, and candies every day.

Once she took me to the school dance, I in my dress robes and she in her pillowcase, specially embroidered with the family crest for the occasion. It was the happiest night of my life. Then I sneaked away that night to help her with the dishes so we could be together, and she curled up at the foot of my bed to keep my feet warm. We began to take long walks by the ocean, and I'd carry her when she was tired. If I ever had to make her punish herself, I'd kiss it better, and she'd be happy again.

When I got older, my father told me that house elves weren't human and shouldn't be treated with kindness. I protested that Binky was my best friend, but Father said I was acting mad and was getting very fat too from her treats. He said he was selling Binky to end our unhealthy love, probably to a cruel master who would beat her instead of cuddling her. I told Binky, and she sobbed and wailed and begged me to help her. Very solemnly, I bestowed upon her my knickers to set her free. I'll never forget that look of joyous terror in her eyes.

Father was furious at first, but her took her cost out of my allowance, and all was well. Then one day, Binky came back! She was tattered and hungry, but she still wore my knickers, sewn into a flowery dress. Father wouldn't accept her back, so I moved out on my own to a small flat in the city, strong in my convictions, and brought Binky with me. We were very poor, but she kept it sparkling clean and full of love.

She worked long days and nights to support us, while I was lonely and sad at home. She even forgave my short-lived affair with a wizard. And when she lost her job at the laundromat, she gave her life to feed me. I miss her so much, but she'll always be a part of me. I'll never forget her, even her chicken-like flavor.

The lesson is if you love someone, let her go. If she starves, she'll come back and will make sure you don't starve. Then you'll truly be equals.

Free the house elves!

Accompanying picture of binky at: http://img11.photobucket.com/albums/v34/Fantome/Art/Binky.png