Chapter Three
Return To The Beginning
All he wanted was a little peace and quiet and of course a bed, he was literally falling asleep on his feet. Immediately after the Council ended he and Hermione had boarded the express, under the watchful eyes of a team of Aurors, and began to make their way to Hogwarts. All while they were on the train, and even when they arrived at Hogwarts, Hermione had continued to question him insistently about anything and everything.
And now that he had finally escaped Hermione's clutches here he was in Kirish's. Of course he should have known better than to even try and talk to her, he knew she was going to be in a bad mood. He couldn't help but wonder about just ending his life, the afterlife was probably very quiet and relaxing. But with his luck the nattering females would follow him, condemning him to an eternity of torture beyond all others.
Kirish's angry words invaded his thoughts, pulling him from the momentary peace of self. "You fucking asshole! What were you thinking? We never agreed for you to go there!
"Kirish look -" Tal began trying to calm her, hoping to appeal to her common sense, little though it was.
"Don't Kirish me," She rudely interrupted, her mental voice edged in anger. "I'm not in the mood and another thing why the hell didn't you contact me before this? For all we knew you were dead!"
"God this is almost as bad as arguing with her in person," Tal muttered aloud wearily.
In a few seconds a much more contrite Kirish sent, "Oh, damn Tal you must be walking dead on your feet if I could hear that. I'm sorry, we were all just so worried. How did it go?"
"It actually went much better than we thought it would," He sent back to, his mental voice sounding as bad as he felt. "A few of the members are going to cause problems though, they don't want to thin their precious pureblood. They…Hell why don't I just show you?"
"You sure your up to it?" Kirish asked in concern and he couldn't help but feel a little better at her apparent worry.
"Honey, I'm always up to it." Tal sent laughing.
"Yea, as the whole population is aware of!" she said cattily. "Ok I'm ready when you are."
Then their thoughts were quite except for the shared memories that spilled from one mind to another.
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Draco Malfoy, former Death Eater, current Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, tossed and turned fitfully in his hard won sleep. It had over time become a normal occurrence for him to have nightmares as soon as his eyes closed. In the beginning they had told him the nightmares would fade with time, unfortunately they were wrong, in time they didn't fade away, they became worse then ever.
Tonight was no different, as soon he slipped into his usual uneasy sleep the nightmares came, older ones that hadn't haunted him in years. Simpler ones that were all the worse, just remembered emotions, excruciating pain, terrifying anger.
The nightmare rolled on no matter how hard his dream self fought to end it, the process would have to run itself out, but then it began to change, subtle at first until he was somewhere else entirely. It was still dark but it was warmer, safer. Noises changed, until they all collided in a odd buzz, something just beyond his understanding.
He didn't know why but he was absolutely sure that if he could just find where the sound was coming from that everything would be all right. But the more he strained to find it the farther it slipped away, until he was so far from it he could no longer hear it's oddly soothing rhythm.
"No, please don't leave me again!"
Anguish flooded him, the calm darkness receding, leaving him stranded like a lost child. He continued to cry out in his dream, trying to get back, but to no avail.
He woke into a shuddering state of awareness, covered in sweat and tears falling blindly down his cheeks. He couldn't help but wonder which was worse the nightmares or the loss of the fleeting peace.
"I can't handle this." Draco thought shakily as he sat up. Sleep had become a forgotten comfort long ago, usually he dealt with the lack of it fine but lately the wear was beginning to show, he was losing weight and becoming irrational over the smallest things.
Even his skillful act was slipping, words fell from his lips, a glare that wasn't meant to show. For so long he had been presenting a different person to the world, now at times he wasn't sure if he could even remember who he really was.
His body ached at every moment, it felt as if his very bones were decaying within his body, he was so very tired. If felt like he was standing alone, never moving, while the universe advanced on its own personal journey.
Sometimes he just wished to no longer be alone, to have someone who could actually understand. But it was weakness to need, it had always been his greatest weakness, haunting him throughout his dismal life.
His hand moved to a dresser besides his bed, the only thing he had kept from his childhood, nimble pale fingers slipped under a drawer to open a secret compartment.
When he had been a child, secrets had been kept in there, pages and pages of his thoughts and worries, a small pictures of the only time his family had been truly happy, a flower from his mother's garden. And as he grew so did so did his secrets until nothing could hold them, then everything had been burned to be remember only if he chose to.
Now the only secrets the drawer kept were of sleep. Vials lay cluttered, all but one empty. His hand clenched around it, tonight would be the last night of sleep. Severus wouldn't be back until next term, and while Draco could find more ingredients if necessary he didn't want to. To many people would ask questions, to many would look at him with pity or hate, to many would see what he had become, to many…
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"Kirish! Did you hear that?"
"Just barely, who in the hell was it? They had to be strong to break into our link."
"I don't know who it was but it must be someone here at Hogwarts, I could hear them loud and clear. The protection wards must have muffled it for you."
"Tal be careful," Kirish warned, worry plain in her voice, "someone untrained and already that strong…they could tear you apart without understanding."
"Damn it!" Tal sent, frustrated with the whole situation, "I don't know if I can handle this by myself, as soon as I made it to Hogwart grounds I could feel them. Its like a maelstrom here, the wards must have hidden them from me before"
"If you need help you know where to find me…I'll come a'runnin." Kirished offered, not knowing what else to say. Tal rarely showed emotion like he was tonight, it was strange.
"Thanks Kirish, I might have to call you. I -"
"Tal," Kirish sent as if she was talking to a child, "go to bed, I can tell from here your about to drop from exhaustion."
Tal sent her an image of him bowing down at her feet, "Always telling me what to do huh. Tell Lillis I love her will you?"
"I'll tell her, you could tell her yourself though, she's right here, your call woke her, and she knows exactly who I'm talking to."
"Yea I could that," Tal said, agreeing with her easily, "and then with my luck she'd lay a massive guilt trip on me and I'd be back there before I knew what was happening. Just tell her I love and miss her and for God's sake don't let her know where I am, no matter how she begs!
The only answer he received was Kirish's amused laughter.
He stood a moment a longer in the empty tower, letting the night swallow him, before he made his way back through the castle and into his private rooms to finally fall into long awaited sleep.
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He woke slowly, stretching and yawning, letting his mind wonder aimlessly. Breakfast was done and over with he was sure, Draco knew he should at least try and get up but for now he just didn't seem to care. For once he had actually slept, a deep peaceful sleep.
Sunlight splayed across his half lidded eyes and he turned his head sideways on his pillow to gaze out his bedroom window. The sky outside was a light blue ebbed with gray clouds that would soon gather and bring icy rain. For now though it was beautiful, to much time had passed since he had accepted something as it was.
Usually he sat and analyzed everything until there was no beauty or peace, just the plain simple facts. Life was hard enough to live as it was without having to deal with emotions, for him facts did just fine. Once again though he found his normal habits falling away from him, so for the moment he just went along with the new idea, enjoying the view.
"That must have been some strong sleeping draught." he thought lazily. Or it might have simply been the absence of the nightmares, they had abandoned him for the night, replacing by odd incoherent dreams filled with buzzing. It still seemed odd to him but the more he tried to puzzle it out the heavier he eyes began to feel. So he decided to close his eyes, just for a few minutes then he would get up.
Almost as soon as his eyes closed though Draco slipped back into a peaceful rest. So he wasn't aware when Hermione and a dark haired man walked in minutes later and stood at the side of his bed. He also wasn't aware of what a serene picture he made, with the sunlight still playing upon his face and wisps of blonde white hair trailing about his face.
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The Great Hall became unnaturally quiet as Hermione introduced Tal to the students. "Children this is Talon Wittman, he will be staying at Hogwarts for a short time. While he is here he will be holding special classes for students that qualify. You are to accord him the same respect that you would give any other Hogwarts professor."
Still there were no outraged mumblings about new classes and busier schedules, instead all eyes including the teachers', were trained attentively on Tal. Hermione noticed that quite a few students seemed to recognize him, her "special students" though only held looks of intense confusion. To her right she could see Tal smirking at them.
"What in the world is that about?" She wondered but didn't have time to dwell on it. "Mr. Wittman will be testing students throughout the next week," Ah there were the expressions of dismay, "only those who pass will be accepted into his classes. Now," She said easily changing subjects, "everyone is released, the train to Hogsmeade will be leaving in fifteen minutes, don't be late!"
Once everyone had left the Great Hall she turned to Tal with a suspicious look, "That seemed to go smoothly didn't it?"
Much to her annoyance Tal only shrugged elaborately, "I noticed some teachers were missing."
Hermione would have liked to continue her line of questioning but she knew he would only say what he wanted, so she just let it go and answered his question. "Yes, there were two missing, Professors Snape and Malfoy, Professor Snape is the Potions master and Deputy Headmaster," she eyed him a bit irritably, "but you probably already know that. He won't be here this term, he's currently at Durmstrange acting as temporary headmaster, I'm sure you've heard they just received permission to re-open. And Draco," she looked up at Tal again but this time with worry in her eyes, not noticing her slip of tongue "I have no idea where he is, its not like him to miss something this important."
"Maybe we should check his rooms?" Tal queried softly, he had his own reasons to see Draco.
Hermione nodded in agreement before she left the Hall and began walking down the corridor. She was absently aware of Tal trailing behind her, it would probably upset Draco, but she couldn't think of a good reason for Tal not to come.
She knew Draco hadn't been sleeping well, he was still hounded terribly by nightmares. It would probably help if he would talk about it but he wouldn't even relate them to her. They had become close after everything that had happened, often talking together late into the night. As busy as she had become lately they had barely even said hi to one another…she hoped he was okay.
After walking for several long minutes down dark, empty corridors she reached the door that led to Draco's private rooms. No matter how hard she tried to change his mind he never did, he said he was happy in the dungeons. She didn't think it was healthy for him, physically or mentally.
Before doing anything else she turned to Tal and put a finger to his lips, signaling for silence. If Draco was actually resting she didn't want to chance waking him.
With a softly spoken Alohomora, the door swung open to reveal a elegantly decorated sitting room.
Spelled candles hung suspended around the rooms, their flames leaving auras of silver and gold. Everywhere light was being reflected back onto itself from bits of glass imbedded in the ceiling, it was like walking in a cavern of diamonds. Elaborately detailed tapestries draped the walls, softening the stony surroundings. Hanging above the fireplace, which was made of black quartz, was a beautiful painting of the Hogwarts' grounds. Dark mahogany furniture was placed about the room, it was obviously hand detailed with scenes carved into the wood.
Hermione was used to it though, she barely looked around until she reached a door on the left of the room. When she noticed Tal wasn't by her side, she turned to find him gazing around the room mutely. It had been so long since someone besides herself and Draco came here, she had forgotten how people reacted on their first visit. "It's amazing isn't it? After the war he spent months in here, never coming out, not letting anyone in. We finally had to force our way in, this is what we found, Draco never would explain."
Tal was still looking around the room, Hermione couldn't see his expression when he answered. "Amazing? That doesn't even begin to explain it, it's much more than that." When he finally turned to face her, she was surprised to see his eyes glistening oddly, full of emotion.
"Tal, what's wrong?"
"It's fine, everything's fine," he assured her, his attention already back on his surroundings, "it's just a bit overwhelming. This room has a signature to it, emotions made it and most of them are very unsettling." He gave an odd laugh, "Lillis would have an absolute fit if she was in here."
"Lillis?" She couldn't help but ask, she had heard how his voice changed, became soft when he said the name.
Tal regarded Hermione steadily, finally he seemed to come to a decision, "She's an empath, not yet fully trained but extremely powerful. Most empaths only sense things but Lillis is like a magnet, the emotions come right to her." Then voice hardening, he changed the subject abruptly, "If we're going to check on Draco let's do it, there are things I need to do."
Hermione stood for a short moment in bewilderment, the way Tal changed moods so quickly was beyond her understanding, it unsettled her beyond words.
She turned to the bedroom door not even bothering to knock, just gently slipped through. A sigh of relief came from her, Draco was sleeping and it seemed peaceful. Without even realizing how intimate the gesture was, she brushed the hair from his face and started stroking his cheek.
"He doesn't sleep well, nightmares and such from the War. Everything seems fine for now though," she murmured almost absently. It still amazed her how beautiful Draco was when he was asleep, his face hid nothing unlike when he was awake. Then he hid everything behind a mask, almost like there were two people residing within him. "I think I'll sit here with him until he wakes up, your welcome to join me if you like or I'll introduce you later."
"Later will be fine." With that as his parting statement he walked quickly out of the room. Almost like he was running away.
Hermione didn't notice though, she was still sitting by Draco and she was feeling very relaxed and sleepy. Which was odd considering how worried she had been most of the day. It didn't matter though, things would work out, everything would be fine. For now she'd just rest a bit.
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Damn it all to hell, he didn't need this, not now! Defiantly not now. He didn't have time to deal with someone else's repressed emotional scars. His own were well and gone and he sure wasn't going to put himself through that shit again…never again. No matter how pretty the face was!
"I'll just keep an eye on him," Tal assured himself, "if things get out of hand I'll get Kirish to help." Yes, that was definitely the way to handle it.
For some reason last night he had thought the disrupting voice belonged to Draco, he hadn't been sure of it but he was now after seeing him he was. He would need Kirish's help anyhow if Draco's magic decided to manifest itself fully.
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"WHY?" Draco shouted harshly, ignoring Hermione's wounded expression. The absolute last thing he needed was some stranger seeing him when he was sleeping, when he was defenseless.
"I'm sorry Draco." Hermione pleaded anxiously, he had been so calm before, she hadn't wanted him to become so upset. "I had no good reason for him not to come…I'm sorry please believe me. He wasn't even here long, just enough to know you were okay."
"Fine, fine," Draco said while running his hands through his already disheveled hair, "I just don't like people being in my rooms, especially when I'm asleep."
"I promise, never again." She assured, glad he had finally calmed down. Even though everything seemed to be settled she wanted to make sure the subject was changed. "Do you want to hear how the council meeting went?"
At the nod of his head she began to tell him about the whole awful mess.
When she was done speaking he turned his eyes from the wall he had been staring at and faced her. "Can we trust him?"
"I - … I think we can and should, Arthur agrees with me. Some Council officers will be going to Talis though just in case, a preliminary report will be sent back to the council in a few months."
"You know," he spoke thoughtfully, after she finished speaking "a lot of purebloods aren't going to like the fact that their precious clean blood is going to be crossed with that of these new wizards. Even if it's the only way we won't die out completely."
"Certain members already don't like it," she said sadly with downcast eyes, "including Ron."
Draco gently lifted her chin "Herm we've already talked about this, nobody is the same and you can't expect them to be, not after everything that happened."
"It certainly wasn't a fairytale ending was it."
The words came out sounding bitter, all Draco could do was hold her. It was the least he could do for this tired woman who had helped bring him back from the edge of death.
"I know you won't like it but Tal is going to be observing everyone's classes, so he can have more insight into the students. After all the students are tested he's going to start his own classes…I'd like you to attend them when they begin. I may trust him but I'm not stupid enough to believe that he doesn't have his own best interests in mind."
"You waited until now to ask that just so I'd feel guilty didn't you?" But he smiled, letting her know he didn't mean it. "I'll probably regret it considering I haven't even met the man but I'll keep an eye on him."
"I knew you would," she said confidently, still wrapped in his arms.
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A half awake Tal stumbled through the doors that led into the main hall, he slowly made his way to the main table and slumped into his seat between Hermione and Draco. As soon as he sat he reached for the coffee, it had taken him hours to convince the house elves that he wanted coffee instead of tea. Hot scalding liquid splashed onto his lap as he brought the cup to his lips, cursing under his breath he tried to sop the coffee up with a napkin.
Beside him an evidently amused Hermione was laughing softly, "Haven't quite woken up yet I see."
He ignored her cheerfulness, he never was at his best in the morning and today was worse than usual. His sleep had been plagued with nightmares and he knew for certain they weren't his own. It could possibly be one of the students but he highly doubted it. It had to be Draco, how he kept making links Tal couldn't figure out. He'd have to look into it. For now he'd just have to hope Draco didn't completely break through his shields, that would be the worst thing possible. Having someone digging around in his mind would get him killed.
Near the end of breakfast the coffee was finally taking affect, jolting his nerves. He turned to Hermione, "I was wondering if I could begin observing classes today?"
"Of course, you may begin whenever you wish. Do you plan on beginning tests today?"
"I'm probably going to wait a few days 'til I've gotten used to everyone and everything."
Then looking to his other side at Draco he spoke carefully, "After I start my classes I'm going to need to work closely with the Potions and Defense Against Dark Arts teachers, just thought I'd let you know beforehand. Your also welcome to come and sit in on the classes, its only fair considering."
He noticed that Draco and Hermione exchanged a quick glance, most people wouldn't have even noticed, before Draco answered. "By all means I'll be most happy to help anyway possible."
Tal couldn't even catch a glimpse of what Draco was thinking, the man obviously had amazingly strong shields for never being trained. "It would be nice it he could keep that kind of control while sleeping," Tal reflected cynically but aloud he said, "Well now that everything's settled I think I'll go back to trying not to fall asleep in my plate."
He gave Draco his friendliest smile backed up with all the mental reassurance he could muster. Draco's eye may have twitched ever so slightly in response or it could have just been a nervous tick. "Well fuck," Tal thought.
He turned back to his plate to find Hermione looking at him oddly, he raised an eyebrow inquiringly and she cut her eyes to the Slytherin table. When his eyes followed to the direction she had been looking he found three seventh year girl that had expressions closely resembling love struck cows. Tal was nearly scared to death to even try and figure out what they were thinking, in his experience young hormonal girls had some very provocative thought and he might not be able to handle them at the moment. He might as well just see…but he really didn't need these kind of complications.
"Hell he's the best looking professor I've ever seen. Of course he's not a real teacher….wonder if he gives extra classes?."
"Nice big hands, big feet…"
It was the last girl however that startled him the most. She didn't have any definite thought but the images…hell he was getting hard just seeing them. Somehow the girl had managed to start a fantasy of him and Draco in the dungeons, shagging each other out of their minds. From the look of the girl she was getting off on it to. Tal sent a slight thought pattern to the girl, it sent her over the edge and she began gasping in the most…intoxicating way. Just about ever male in the room was looking to her direction, when she finally came around enough to notice the attention she scrambled out of her seat and ran outside.
"What did you do?" Draco demanded coldly.
"How the hell did he know?" Tal wondered to himself. He was about to explain in polite terms but then decided to try and get a rise out of Draco, after all hadn't the man kept him from a good nights rest? "She was having some very entertaining thoughts…I didn't do anything," Well that was a small white lie but who cares, "she was practically cramming them into my head. I couldn't help but look at them and let me tell you, she finds the thought of you and me together very arousing."
To his left he heard Hermione start to choke on her food and saw her hand flash out to grab a goblet of wine. His attention however never left Draco, who was turning slightly pinkish colors but his shields were still clamped tightly shut.
To Tal's surprise Draco actually snarled an answer to him, "I'm not a fucking faggot whether you are or not…so stay away from me or I won't be responsible for the repercussions!."
Tal was taken by taken aback by the emotion that gripped him, he would have liked to examine it, but they were gone as soon as they came.
"And just so you know the first class your going to observe is mine…with the seventh-year Slytherins and Gryffindors, so you'd better get used to your little fan club."
"Oh hell…can my life get any more screwed?" Tal asked himself, wondering why the fates seemed to find it so entertaining to mess his life up.
And Hermione apparently hadn't choked to death because she was snickering in the most un-ladylike way. He didn't think that the Headmistress of Hogwarts should find the situation so amusing. "To bad she didn't choked" Tal thought maliciously, he knew she wasn't going to forget anytime soon and she was anything like she used to be she'd remember it forever.
A fan club just the damned thing he didn't need, hopefully Kirish would never find out, then he'd really never be able to forget.
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"…and besides that you should try teaching a class when half of them are gawking at him like love struck fools. It doesn't help that he lets them get away with it either, all he cares about is getting an ego boost! Then of course there's his classes…he actually made me participate on the threat of making me leave, which would have been fine except you want me to spy on him! So for three hours everyday I have to sit on a floor, a hard cold floor I might add, and what's the term…oh yes…free my mind."
Draco was pacing back and forth in Hermione's office, while he told her exactly what he that of the one and only Tal Wittman. Who cared if he was ranting and raving like a child, certainly he didn't care. The last thing he needed was this…this asinine prick trying to turn his life upside down, he had to constantly watch him.
Hermione may not have specified that but it didn't matter because Draco knew that there was no way that they could possibly trust Tal. The man was arrogant and for some damned reason everyone thought that whatever spouted out of his mouth was sent from some sacred force and besides that Draco didn't need anyone trying to dig around in his head. He still couldn't believe the nerve…
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"Okay I know after nearly two weeks of meditation your wondering when you actually get to try something challenging so…"
"Bloody hell, he has such a complex and these stupid children just feed it." Draco muttered to himself, ignoring the glare a seventh year shot him for talking about Tal. He swore that every time Tal allowed his students to do anything they started cheering like he'd let them loose in a candy store or for some of them…his bed.
All around him he could see students, female and male alike, that still had that overly glazed look in their eyes and Tal obviously loved the attention. Didn't he know that you couldn't be friendly with them or you lose control of the class? Well he'd figure it out soon enough and Draco was going to enjoy the show when it all finally came to a head.
"So today we're going to see how many of you can concentrate enough to form a mental link. Now it's very important that when you began that you stay very calm, it's possible to overload your partner's mind and cause a lot of mental stress. Now that you have some idea of what's going to happen I want you to all choose a partner, normally a teacher would assign them but I want to see who chooses who."
It was no surprise when students immediately started calling out for Tal's attention.
"Mr. Wittman will you -"
"Professor!"
"No he's going to be my -"
"Shut up you don't even know what's happening!"
Oh this was lovely, surrounded by screeching high-pitched female voices, just perfect. "Let's see you get out of this one Wittman." Draco thought smugly.
"Everyone be quiet NOW! Unfortunately I can't be anyone's partner, I already have one…Professor Malfoy."
"The hell you do!" Draco nearly shouted but stopped himself in time, he wouldn't let the man goad him into anything. And there was no way he was going to let Tal anywhere near his personal thoughts. "Oh Mr. Wittman it's quite alright, I wouldn't want to deprive any of the students of such a practiced…teacher."
"Why Professor Malfoy I didn't know you though so highly of me! Of course I can't let you sit this one out, not with all the work you've done to get here. I completely understand that you might be nervous, but just think what a good example it is for the students…two of their teachers working so well together."
Draco could barely hold back the snarl that threatened to pass from his lips, between Tal's smirk and the students murderous jealous gazes… There was simply no way out Tal had made sure of that. "Asshole!" He shouted mentally, letting go of some anger and actually feeling a bit better for it. So he simply smiled, though it was a bit cold and promised retribution. He vaguely heard Tal explaining to the class what they would have to do but he wasn't absorbing any of the instructions. His mind was busy conjuring visions of Tal being slowly tortured…it was so very pleasant and relaxing, unfortunately the asshole himself materialized in Draco's line of vision, breaking him away from his fantasy.
"So you ready to give it a go?"
He was absolutely sure that there was a double meaning in the question, there always was when Tal spoke. "If I must." Draco barely ground out from between clenched teeth.
"Oh you must," he could see Tal grinning openly, did the man every think of anything besides sex? "now just relax, close your eyes and open your mind."
It happened almost immediately and it was the strangest thing, it felt like someone was wrapping him in a blanket, so warm. Like the times when he was young and his mother would smooth back his hair and whisper how he was the only one she loved, her dragon. It was amazing, he never wanted to leave, all of his tension was loosening…drifting away…so warm…
"Well you seem to be having a good experience, not everyone reacts this well."
What! Who? Sounds so familiar, he knew it from somewhere…
"It's Tal, just concentrate for a minute and it will all come back. By the way if you try to separate your speech from your thoughts it will be easier for both of us."
Huh?…..NO! This wasn't happening, he didn't want Tal in his head, seeing his memories. NO! Have to get away, get away…away.
"WAIT! Draco listen, it's okay I won't look at anything I promise, it's okay. Just relax, go back to where you were."
It was the voice, he couldn't help it, he started drifting again. He shouldn't, he should fight, leave but it was so warm and soft… The air whipping through his hair, snitch in front of him, GOT IT! Yes, they'd won! A fire blazing, surrounded by people laughing and playing. Sneaking through halls at night, a black dog, a tired man on a train.
Oh, the colors green and silver. They were so real he could touch them, if only he could get close enough but they kept moving, shifting, twining. No corner of his mind was quiet, the colors were everywhere…
"Draco! Draco, listen you can't do this, it will hurt us both! You have to stop, I can't do it for you. Listen!"
Why should he? It felt so good, everything was so bright and clear. He was a dragon, nothing could hurt him, he was invincible! Effortlessly he winged to the twining colors, this time he'd get them. Almost…yes! They were his, so pretty. What's that? Red?
"No, Leave!"
It was his, he could do what he wanted! See it was in his hand, swirling red and black, hot. No, No, burning, red eyes, scars, hurts hurts! "STOP! PLEASE!" Tal, it was Tal's fault. "LET GO! NOW!" Pushing, fighting , there that was the way out. Rip a hole, go through, out, now.
Draco's eyes opened, he was on the floor shaking, he could feel his eyes tearing with pain. Children were clustered around him, talking and yelling but he couldn't hear. All he could do was shake. He managed to get to his feet and saw Tal laying against the wall as if he had been thrown there.
It didn't matter though all he had to get out, there was the door, and then he was running out of the room.
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"Damn him, damn him, damn him!" Draco softy said over and over, not noticing Hermione's worried expression. He still wasn't sure exactly how much Tal had taken from his memories. The only thing he seemed to have of Tal's was miscellaneous information, well not exactly miscellaneous but it certainly wasn't what he'd probably taken from Draco.
To make matters worse his nightmares had been even worse than usual the last few days. It was probably Tal's fault, at this point he could blame the rising sun on Tal, if he had his own way those particular memories would have never reached the surface again.
He could only hope the dreams went away soon, Snape wouldn't be back for months yet and all the sleeping draught had exhausted weeks ago. And he wasn't about to ask for the needed ingredients, they would be near impossible to find and he didn't need the questions right now.
All the sudden he was brought out of his thoughts by a hand shaking his shoulder.
"Draco!," a voice spoke insistently.
He was confused for a moment until he remembered he was in Hermione's office. She looked quite worried he must have been lost in his thoughts longer than he knew. "I'm fine, just thinking." He knew that wouldn't do it though, she was going to want to know what happened. "Actually I'm not fine, something happened in Tal's class a few days ago, he had us practicing talking to each other, but then he started digging around in my memories."
She was angry he realized, he had thought after hearing everything about it she would merely be…questioning.
"Do you want me to talk to him?" she asked with the anger apparent in her voice, he'd forgotten that she knew how much the memories bothered him.
It was comforting to know he still had at least one person he could depend on. "No, I'll deal with it. It wasn't his fault…entirely, I wasn't paying very much attention." Draco was so tired he couldn't even hold onto his anger, the only thing he felt was tired. It was evident to, otherwise he would never try to protect Tal or so he hoped. "Look I'm just going to go to my rooms and rest, I'll feel better soon."
Hermione still wanted to talk, he could see that plainly enough but he also knew she cared for him therefore she'd let him alone…for now.
When he was finally laying in his bed, surrounded by silk sheets, he let himself acknowledge the fact that he was more scared than angry. What had happened with Tal, he had never felt anything like that before. He might say that he never wanted it to happen again but in reality he was scared to lose it again. It had been so perfect for a few moments, he had felt whole, then it had all fell apart.
Everything in his life fell away, no matter how much he wanted it again he couldn't have it, it would be to dangerous for him. He couldn't deal with emotions like those anymore, the only thing he could do was avoid Tal as much as humanly possible.
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"Kirish" Tal sent trying to locate her but not yet having any luck. Usually he would talk to her during the day but he had just now finally felt Draco slipping off into sleep.
Due to the circumstances he had to be careful, anything little thing could now send Draco over the edge into his full blown potential. So Tal was having to limit his magic as much as possible, even talking to Kirish had been off limits until now. Always before Draco's sleeping patterns had been to unpredictable but he was finally in a deep sleep, one that Tal could keep the nightmares from.
He couldn't be sure exactly what Draco had taken through their link but if he had taken any important memories Tal was certain things wouldn't still be how they were.
Since that class Draco had been avoiding him and Tal thanked whatever happenings that let it continue. It had taken him days to get the link under control, if Draco had been more aware of it or tried to use it…even he didn't quite know what would happen.
As far as he knew something like this had never happened, it was an open link. It seemed to have all the same possibilities as normal links. Thank everything that nothing seemed to be manifesting itself through the link yet
When Draco's mind had linked to Tal's it had been more than he could handle, it knocked him unconscious for almost a full day. Tal still hadn't been able to feel out the new link.
It was the dreams though that had been the worse, while he was unconscious he hadn't been able to suppress the link so he had to endure Draco's nightmare's with him. He wasn't sure how Draco was able to manage day to day life while never getting any sleep, so now whenever possible he tried to keep the nightmares away from Draco.
He hoped it helped a little, he couldn't help but understand, even if he didn't want any part of Draco, oh yes he could defiantly understand about nightmares. It was so much like his own past.
"Hey! Knock, knock, open up or I can't find you." An irritated voice interrupted his thoughts.
"Sorry Kirish, is this better?" Well that didn't bode good, his new link must take president over any others. She was sure to feel that something was off, she was so going to be so pissed.
"Tal? WHAT THE FUCKING HELLS DID YOU DO?" Kirish screamed with even more anger than Tal had expected. Maybe the changed were more apparent than he thought.
"Calm down," Tal sent trying to appeal to her common sense once again, hoping it might work for once "I didn't know you'd be able to tell so quickly. I can't let you see it in memories so I'll just have to tell you, so pay close attention." As he explained the situation he monitored her emotions best he could. She seemed to be taking it relatively well, amazement seemed to be the main feeling, with just a little speculation.
"Tal I don't know how it feels to you but to me you feel almost like a totally different person. Your signature has changed, not much, just enough that I couldn't contact you."
"Well actually, I haven't been able to feel it out completely. Draco has absolutely no training, he established this link without his full power. So can you imagine what's going to happen when he comes into his full potential, especially without training?"
"God damned. I assume your wanting me to come? Right?" Kirish sounded like she could care less if he wanted her there or not so he might as well give in will it looked like his idea.
"If you can, I wasn't sure if the Aurors were still there or not."
"They left two days ago and the whole town threw a party the night they left. I've never met such a bunch of arrogant pricks, especially your friend Ron. Tal…," Kirish hesitated he could almost see her chewing on her lips, "this might make you mad but I have to ask, you know I do. Does Draco know you who you really are and the part you played in the war?"
"I'm not sure," Tal admitted unhappily, "I don't think so. If he did things wouldn't be like they are, for instance if they knew I used to be Harry Potter, well I'd probably be dead before I could say help."
