notes:
1. hmmm…. ok, let's take a look at this. chapter 3: cliff-hanger ending. reviews: 13. chapter 4: mostly setup/exposition. more natural chapter ending. reviews: 2.
seems to me people like a more exciting ending. i bow to the will of the majority!
2. just a reminder that this fic is CO-AUTHORED. we could only post it on one name, obviously, but midori-chan wrote ryuichi's half of this story. please be kind and head over to her profile—there's a lot of great stuff there, too!
3. no, we haven't acquired the rights to gravitation between the last chapter and this one. curses, foiled again. _
-vethia & midori-chan
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As the two disembarked in London, Eiri spoke for the first time since his comment about the song. His tone was grudging, as if he hated—no, loathed to admit his own lack of information regarding the situation, but had no other choice. "Well...?"
"Ummm? Well?" Ryuichi tilted his head as if he has no idea what was going on.
Thirteen... fifteeen.... twenty-two... Eiri closed his eyes for a moment, trying to refrain from destroying the entire world and Ryuichi right along with it. K-san would have some sort of tracking device to find out where that signal was from. Tohma would use his fame to get information from officials. Even Nakano-san would keep his head better than this. "We are looking for Shuichi."
"Ohh, Shuu-chan..." A sudden change came over Ryuichi's body. He dropped the pink bunny he was holding upon the floor and grinned coolly over at Eiri. The rabbit stared up at him with melancholy coal eyes as the man kicked it away from him under a passenger's seat—as if he were abandoning the happy side of Sakuma-san forever, and replacing him with some cheap facsimile. "Let's go, then." His grin was almost frightening.
Eiri nodded, keeping a wary eye on... whoever-it-was he was traveling with. With a sarcastic sweep of his hand, he indicated that Ryuichi should lead the way. Ryuichi caught his hand in mid-sweep and turned his to face him, eyes dark and cloudy like the sea before a storm. "Have faith in me, hm? Don't be so cheeky, and swallow your pride once in awhile." With that, he walked down the aisle of the plane towards the exit, leaving a passenger behind Yuki calling out to him, "Uh...sir? You forgot your... rabbit..."
Yuki snagged the bunny by a floppy pink ear but did not return it to its owner. His face assumed that blank expression that it knew so well, carefully hiding any trace of emotion from this Ryuichi. Tucking the plushie under his arm for safe-keeping (as humiliating as it was to walk around with a bright pink rabbit), he followed.
Jade sunglasses covering his eyes, Ryuichi strode out into the gate and, after waiting for Eiri to appear, he took the writer aside to stare out the window of the airport, much like he had done before. "How much of my story do you believe...?"
Eiri crossed his arms. "I believe that Shuichi is in trouble and that you know something about it."
Ryuichi crossed his arms as well. "What makes you think I won't tell you lies, hmmm?" He leaned closer to Eiri as he spoke.
In a rare moment of honesty, Eiri met the man's eyes, holding his gaze steady. "If you didn't need me to find him, you would have done it yourself. Since you told me in the first place, you need something from me. And since your ultimate goal is to recover Shuichi..." He, too, leaned in close until their faces nearly touched. "...I don't care what you tell me. So shut up and lead the way." He pulled back and turned, ready to leave, then glanced back. "Oh, and you forgot this." He tossed the pink bunny at Ryuichi, who caught it reflexively.
The young man snorted at him indifferently, staring at the plush bunny. For a moment, he seemed as if he was going to discard the rabbit in the nearby wastebasket, and he almost did—but his hand seemed to be tightly clenched about the fuzzy object. He appeared mildly irritated, and shook off his irritation with a shrug of his shoulders. "Fine."
Yuki smiled for the first time since Sakuma-san had entered his apartment that morning, a small smirk of satisfaction. He let his gaze linger on the rabbit for a moment. Hm. So I was right after all. The narrow-eyed smile widened slightly, but he spoke not a word, waiting for Ryuichi to either lead the way or volunteer some information.
Ryuichi shot a sneer in Eiri's direction and began to talk, hand gripping the Kumagorou rabbit tightly. "First off, I'm sure you have no clue what it's like to have separate personalities... because you sit back and watch things happen when you don't want them to... all because of someone's stupid mistake..." He studied Eiri's face for a moment. The novelist seemed surprised by the sudden outburst, but there was something more behind his eyes. "Or perhaps you do know..."
A muscle jumped in the Eiri's jaw. He made no reply, caught for the moment in the vision that sprung, unbidden, to his mind... the face which now hovered always under the hat, smiling with the mouth but not the eyes... In the vision, however, the face was much younger. And it wasn't smiling. Eiri gritted his teeth. "Let's go."
"Alright alright, I was just trying to make some small talk..." Ryuichi grinned as he turned on his heel and began to walk towards the terminal exit. Yuki reset his blank stare, making certain that his sunglasses were firmly in place, and followed. Uncannily, as if he'd been to this airport many times, Ryuichi made it out of the building and hailed a taxi, offering Eiri the first seat.
Eiri might have remarked on the strange sense of familiarity if it weren't for his preoccupation. He slid into place in the taxi without a word; in fact, it was the very words which were causing him this distress. The accent was different, to be sure, but English nonetheless. Staring out of the window again, he mentally called up every old Japanese song or nursery rhyme he could remember, repeating them over and over in his head. Some small, detached and cynical part of his mind asked, Does it help...? He considered for a moment, then answered himself. Not really... but it's something to do.
Ryuichi, on the other side, was staring blankly into the leaden eyes of Kumagorou, grip tightening upon the plush bunny as his mouth twisted into a menacing snarl. He whispered some dry words to the bunny, but it seemed not to hear him... it just kept smiling back at him with the same oblivious look the former Ryuichi had given the man sitting next to him only moments before.
"Where to, guv'nor?" The driver's thick Cockney accent rang out through the car and Yuki practically jumped. He looked quickly over at his companion, narrowing his eyes as he noted the attitude of the bunny's owner. A sharp jab of his elbow would hopefully bring Ryuichi back to some semblance of—well, if not sanity, at least usefulness. In Japanese, he inquired of the singer, "Well? Where are we going?"
Slowly, estranged sapphire eyes met Eiri's. The vocalist bared his teeth in an eerie smile. "To the London concert hall." He spoke in English, eyes still fixated on his seatmate.
More than a little unnerved by his passengers, the taxi driver replied shortly, "Right, then..." and pulled away. Yuki's eyes narrowed as they met Sakuma-san's frustratingly knowledgeable gaze. I know I said I didn't care as long as we find Shuichi, but you are really starting to get on my nerves, he thought silently. He couldn't help but feel... helpless. Like a child again. And that was not a feeling that Yuki Eiri liked. Still speaking his mother tongue, he asked shortly, "Is that where he is?"
Cold eyes shot him a look of disgust. "Did I say I knew where he was? You don't know that." His eyes narrowed as well, smile dead-set upon his face.
Yuki's temper began to fray. "Then what the hell do you know?!" He surged forward, as if ready to get the answers out of that brown-haired head once and for all, but stopped himself as abruptly as he had begun. He stole a quick glance forward at the driver. The man's wide eyes were clearly visible in the rearview mirror, though he quickly jerked them back to the road once Yuki cught him looking. The novelist sighed but lowered his voice, growling, "What do you know about all this? And why didn't you tell anyone before me?"
The vocalist grinned in return. "I told you first because you're pretty." *The exact wrong reason, Ryuichi, you know why you told him first...* | Bakayaro. Urusai.| ~Ryuichi-kuun...I want to go home...please let me out of here...~ |No.| *Temper, temper, Ryuichi... don't treat us like that... you might snap again...* |SHUT UP! Shut up, all of you!!!|
Yuki snorted. To an observer, his manner was casual, brushing the situation off without a second thought—but nothing could be further from the truth. His eyes were very carefully fixed on the man before him; watching, waiting. Cautious. If only I knew what was going on inside that head of yours... "And what, exactly, do you know...?"
*Tell him, tell him why you came to his house, Ryuichi... what were you running away from when you came there?* |...Nothing..| (...Eiri-san, don't be mad at me...) *Nothing, my ass! Why was Tohma calling you...tell him...* |SHUT UP!!| (Eiri-san, help...) ~I want my Kumagorou...~ Ryuichi shook his head fervently, breath catching in his throat, as he spoke in whimpers. "...Why... what do you want...?"
Eiri blinked. He looked from Ryuichi to the driver and back again. He can't understand Japanese, so I suppose it's all right... He spoke carefully, as if inching forward across uncertain ground—"I want to find Shuichi"—and waited to see what the man's reaction would be.
|Everyone wants know about Shuichi, of course...he's the star...Shuichi...| *Do I sense a bit of jealousy, here? I thought he was your best friend...* ~He is, and I'll do anything to help him, na no da!~ |He is NOT!! Not after...that...| *...that...* ~o_o Mou....but we can forgive him?~ |I CAN'T!!!! I couldn't hear ANY OF YOU before this! And now you're HERE, in my head! GET OUT!| *Your head? What the hell are you talking about? I was here first....* ~Wah, but Kumagorou...~ (....HELP ME!!!!)
Eiri watched as flickers of personality passed through the singer's eyes, almost too fast to register, and became increasingly alarmed. He glanced at the driver... then at Ryuichi... then back at the driver again. Fuck. Quickly, decisively, he reached out and took the vocalist by the shoulders, giving him a quick shake. "Sakuma-san!" With any luck, he'll snap out of it when he hears his name...
"GET AWAY FROM ME!!!" The chocolate-haired boy screamed, kicking Eiri away from him and smashing his shoulder into the taxicab's door. The door swung open with a harsh 'clack,' sending the singer tumbling out into the streets. Not to be hindered by a few lesions and perhaps a broken wrist, he scrambled to his feet and bolted straight into the streets of London.
Yuki cursed loudly as the driver exclaimed and slammed on the breaks, bringing the cab to a screeching halt. The writer scrambled out of the car, throwing a wad of euros at the driver as he did so—more than enough to cover the ride and hopefully enough to keep the man quiet, too. Slipping slightly on the wet cement, Yuki pelted after his only link to Shuichi. Damn it... dark sunglasses really don't help when it's raining and you're trying to catch up to someone. On foot. In London. DAMN IT! Unfortunately, if he took the time to pull them off, he would undoubtedly lose sight of the lithe man running away from him. Shooting past some very startled Britons, he snarled at the necessity of being noticed. When I catch up to you, you bastard, someone is going to pay—whatever it is that made you so damned crazy. A note of bitterness entered his internal monologue. Probably Tohma. Oh, he and I will have a chat when I get home, that's for sure...
*Sure, running away from him will help, that always helps...* ~Maa, Ryuichi-kun, you're getting Kumagorou wet!!!~ |I'm not crazy...I'm not crazy...I'm not a freak...I'm not crazy....| Breath ragged, the man threw his lithe body onward, the rain pelting against him and permeating his skin with its dark liquid tears. His eyes mirrored the grey sky above as he shook his head in frustration, trying to distinguish a single train of thought from the many voices that were masquerading about as himself inside his own head. He ran on as his calves begin to burn—a trivial pain compared to the hurt circulating around his brain.
Yuki sprinted after the other man, cursing mentally with each breath. He scrambled around corners and through puddles, following his quarry and gaining slowly but steadily as they wound their way through the London alleyways. At last, he managed to get close enough to catch the Ryuichi's arm, pulling him backwards to stop his momentum and then pushing him against the wall. Panting slightly, Yuki scowled down with a mixture of anger and concern, arms pressed against the wall on either side of the singer to form a sort of cage. Hesitant to touch his companion a second time, he could think of nothing to do except call the singer's name again. "Sa— " he began, then changed his mind. "Ryuichi! Calm down!"
Ryuichi stared at him in shock for a moment, eyes paling from a grey color to a dull white in the dim light of the alleyway. Suddenly he grabbed the front of Eiri's shirt and burst into a torrent of unexpected tears. He pressed the fabric of Eiri's shirt to his forehead along with the soaking wet Kumagorou, sinking to his knees in a fit of sobs. *...go away...* |Get out of my head...| ~Why can't we be friends...?~
This took Eiri completely by surprise. He stumbled as Ryuichi fell to the ground, pulled down by virtue of the hand still clinging to his shirt. Blinking the rain away, he tried to call up some emotion, some sort of deep caring or concern to add to the feeble gift of his body, kneeling in a dirty puddle. His hands hung at his sides, cuffs trailing in the muddy water, as his eyes stared at the alleyway over the shaking form before him. All cities... really look the same, when you get right down to it. Tokyo, Kyoto, London, Berlin...New York... He shivered slightly, one hand raising mechanically to wrap around Ryuichi's shaking back, in an unconscious (subconscious?) imitation of Tohma so many years ago. It's hard to remember that Sakuma-san is older than me... Yuki stared blankly, eyes darkening to amber-green as he silently held his companion.
"Get them out of my head, Eiri-san...why are they there...I...I d-don't want them there..." The boy stammered, gripping Eiri's shirt, and sobbed into the already drenched cloth. The pain began to bore into his head like a drill and he started to cry louder, as a young child would if they were being hurt by someone they loved. He wanted to say something to Eiri, to give him some word of information to be helpful, but the only sound his throat would produce was more sobs.
Eiri froze. My God... he wants me to... he's asking if I will... It all made a sickening amount of sense. He dragged his eyes back from the alley, resting them at last on the trembling boy, expression resembling nothing more than the classic 'deer in the headlights.' Why me? Why did he come to me? I can't even fix my own damned mind.... why does he think I can help him? I can't help him... I can't help anyone... anyone I care for just ends up getting hurt. Hurt or dead. He can't expect me to help him. He just can't. Yuki's voice was strangely distant as he retreated behind his masks, desperate to deny his fear and insecurity. "I... don't know how."
Tighter still the hand clamped around his shirt. "Of course you do...Eiri-san...you can help...I know you can...I...I..." Ryuichi buried his head farther into Eiri's shirt. "I believe in you...please, Eiri-san...make them go away."
He... believes in me? No... that's not right. Nobody should believe in me. I... I only hurt the ones I touch... Despite his frantic train of thought, Yuki's other hand reached up almost mechanically to join the first in its careful embrace, still dripping with muddy water. Sure, he had a nasty exterior, and most people thought him a dick, but it would take a much colder man than Eiri to refuse a plea like that. "Sakuma-san," he started, slowly, hoping that continuing to use a name would keep Ryuichi 'there,' so to speak. "Tell me... how they got there, and then maybe I can help."
The cries began to subside and the vocalist gained his voice, scratchy from tears and muffled in the other man's shirt. "...It's true, about the lyrics. I was jealous, and everyone else was acting like it was perfectly normal for them to ignore me and still have Shuu-chan write his own lyrics...and...and..." Tighter, tighter, the hand wound the fabric into its shaking fingers. "Shuu-chan had his own lyrics for his single—and I was so angry. I didn't want to be made famous off of someone else's brainpower. I wanted to be like Shuichi, and write my own songs...and I thought...I thought...if his song were gone, I could still be at the top with NG, and maybe Tohma would let me have my own lyrics back. So I found the lyrics to that new song...and tore them up. I don't know now why I did it, I just did..." He paused for a slow breath. "Shuichi saw me though, and I.... I don't know what I did, I just woke up in the hospital the next day dressed all in white. And I stayed there...and stayed there...and no one came to help me...no one came...I stayed there...and they..." He paused again, then finished in a soft voice. "...things..."
Yuki's eyes, wide at the outset, slowly narrowed as the story was laid before him. His voice was still quiet when, at last, he spoke. "Things...?"
"They told me there was something wrong with me. They hooked me up to things, and they..." He bit back a sob harshly. "There's nothing wrong with me." He brought his pathetic-looking face, soaking wet, cheeks concave and eerily unsmiling, up to stare at the novelist. Melancholy grey eyes penetrated Eiri-san's soul. "...is there?"
Eiri swallows but did not answer. I can understand his jealousy. It's natural, of course. Why Tohma didn't tell me about this 'plan' of his, I'll never know... but it must have upset Sakuma-san more than he knew. I should tell Sakuma-san that it's all right. I should... but... But what about Shuichi? Eiri stared at the wall without seeing it, eyes outwardly empty, but guarded. He still hasn't told me what happened to Shuichi. Arms still loosely holding the musician, Eiri could only ask, "Who else knows about this?"
The face buried itself into Eiri's shirt again. The vocalist lifted up his broken wrist, which was jutting out slightly at an obtuse angle, and pointed to his head. "They know."
Eiri hissed in surprise as he noticed the broken bone for the first time. Without further conversation, he gathered the boy into his surprisingly strong arms and stood up. "I'm taking you to a doctor. When the doctors fix your body, I will help you with... them." He skirted the issue with words, reluctant to refer to Ryuichi's 'voices' by any other name.
As soon as Eiri mentioned the word 'doctor', the singer convulsed and clung to his chest, trembling violently. "Don't take me there...they're going to hurt me...they're going to kill me..." He began to cry again, this time softer, wails muffled by the dripping Kumagorou pressed to his face.
Eiri's tone was one which brooked no argument; when he spoke with conviction, one could not help but believe him. "I will not let them hurt you. They will fix your wrist and then we will leave. It will be all right." I hope it will, anyway... With a purely internal shiver, Yuki shoved at the memories which seemed to be flooding back with all their remembered force. He knew he wouldn't be able to hold them back much longer—not with this broken, crying boy who had placed himself in Yuki's hands. Why did you choose me? I can't even help myself... The prescription bottle he kept in his jacket at all times was pressing against his chest, its presence made evident by the boy he was holding. If only he could get Sakuma-san somewhere safe, he could take one of those little pills, and the memories... well, they wouldn't go away, but maybe they would fade enough for him to do something.
The singer slowly acquiesced, holding his K-chan to his heart like a lifeline, and became eerily silent. The only sound was the pattering of the rain, smudging out his quiet breaths with its endless din. "Promise...?" He smiled weakly up at his saviour, the word almost inaudible through the falling rain.
All of your promises are lies. You only hurt the ones you love. You swore never to care again... lies... lies... lies... "...I promise."
" 'Kay." His body became lax and somewhat of a deadweight as he snuggled his wet bunny and stared blankly up into the grey, churning source of the rain. His facial expression was somewhere between awe of the rain and somewhat of a traumatic stupor as his pink-rabbit friend gazed up at Eiri with questioning eyes.
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…ok, so i couldn't exactly manage a cliff-hanger, but i did let this chapter run to almost double-length. i hope this one gets a little better reception than the last… _ lack of reviews makes midori-chan cry. and anyone who makes midori-chan cry will have to answer to me.*cracks knuckles* so please, tell us what you think!
next chapter: how will ryuichi react to the hospital? will eiri be able to keep anyone from discovering his own weakness? another gravitation character makes an appearance as more complexities emerge. stay tuned!
-vethia & midori-chan
