ok… i know. i know an explanation is due. it's been almost six months since i last updated this fic. shameful! i know, i know!! i suppose everyone deserves at least a bit of an explanation… during those six months, not only did i have a lot of schoolwork to do, but my gravitation rp Faith in Gravity ) died a sad, slow death. i'll admit it: when that happened, i didn't really feel inspired to update this story any more, since this was what sparked the entire game to begin with. BUT!! every now and again, an email would show up in my inbox with a nice review from one of you wonderful readers, and with that impetus plus the catalyst of one tremendous yuki player ( ), i have finally gotten my ass in gear and finished Faith. yes, that's right—finished. this is the last chapter. there's an epilogue, yes, but that's all. i hope it was worth the wait, and i want to thank everyone who reviewed this story from the bottom of my cold, shriveled writer's heart.
so now, without further ado, i give you: the end of Faith.
disclaimer: despite my six-month negotiations with maki murakami, right stuf (who is putting out the gravitation dub! which you should all GO OUT AND BUY as soon as it's available, because then you can hear my voice on it! /end shameless plug) and all other media conglomerates involved, no, i still do not own gravitation. for the love of cheese dip, don't sue me. my credit card bills are bad enough already.
"Don't faint just yet, Eiri-san... your truth is about to unfold." Ryuichi giggled, tightening his grip around the writer's neck. Eiri saw stars. He blinked, once, trying to clear them, but the blackness at the edge of his vision was starting to creep in.
Just then, Tohma ran into the church, huffing and puffing from overuse of his skinny legs. "Sakuma-san...what..." His face drained as he saw Eiri's peril out of sparkling teal eyes. The cellphone upon which he had received Aizawa's 'SOS' text message was still clutched in his hand. "Oh God…" The producer swallowed slightly. If he had failed to protect Eiri-san a second time, he honestly did not know what he would do with himself.
Ryuichi acknowledged the mortified blonde with a curt nod. His eyes flickered for a moment as he called, "Tachi? Care to explain?" Aizawa dropped his gun and heaved a waterlogged sigh. "I was looking for Ma-kun... something had happened to him, relating to Ryuichi… and I wanted to find out. I stopped by his room, and tried to talk to Sakuma-san, but all I ever heard from him was..." He turned to Tohma, almost accusingly, mimicking the other singer's distress. "'Oh God... get them out of my head, Tachi... it hurts... I want them out...'"
Tohma's eyes widened, but he continued with what Aizawa had failed to say. "Aizawa
took Shuichi immediately to London
from the time that he was hospitalized in Tokyo,
and tried to prevent Ryuichi's discovery of his
location..." Then the singer himself cut in, finishing with a deadly trill in
his voice, "...Because if I killed him, and I killed myself, and I killed you,"
he nodded his head to Tohma at this, indicating the
direction of his pronoun reference, and continued smoothly, "…and I killed Eiri-san,
and Aizawa-san..." He smiled sadly. "All the pain
would go away."
All this time, Shuichi had
been staring at Eiri through wide, crystal eyes.
"Yuki..." Despite the haze encroaching on his vision, the writer could see the
confirmation written all over his lover's face. He had to do something. He just
had to.
The distraction of Tohma's presence and the ongoing conversation seemed to have distracted Ryuichi, and Eiri could feel the singer's grasp on his throat loosening slightly. He sucked in oxygen, fighting to clear his vision as his mind raced desperately. The bunny... That pink rabbit is the key to everything; Ryuichi's personality shifts, the threat he poses, everything. I have to do something about the bunny... If I do, maybe I can reason with him. The rabbit in question was lying on Ryuichi's chest, staring blankly at the novelist. Around him, the conversation continued, explanations unfolding whether he liked them or not.
"...Tachi was really nice to me, Yuki...you don't have to worry," Shuichi was saying, smiling tentatively. "He told me I had to hide in..." He was interrupted by a hacking cough, wracking his beaten body convulsively before he could continue. "...here."
Tohma averted his eyes to the floor, head spinning as he
gritted out, "I followed Ryuichi when I found out
he'd escaped. When I figured he was going to London,
I sent those text messages. I reasoned that if we all were here, we could be
able to stop him..." He closed his eyes. "...from doing something rash." Ryuichi laughed coldly at Tohma,
waving something shiny and metallic in front of Eiri's
face. "And I almost forgot, Eiri-san. My cell phone... it's the detonator." His finger was idling
steady on the "END" key of the phone... what an ironic button to use to
detonate explosives.
The
phone?! Damn it all... Eiri thought
back in horror. How close he had been to disaster, with a bunny full of
explosives and the detonator in his hand! If he had been a little less
distracted at the airport, he might have sent hundreds of people to their
deaths... This has to stop. As Sakuma-san's
attention drifted further from Eiri and closer to the
other members of the room, the writer thought back to all the different sides
of the boy he had seen. No more games. No more in-betweens. I have to talk
to them directly, and I have to do it now.
With
a quick twist of his arms, Eiri slipped out from
under the singer, letting Ryuichi fall haphazardly to
the ground by the altar. Without letting go of his gun, he used it to knock the
cellphone out of Ryuichi's
hand and send it skittering across the floor. They design those things so
that the buttons don't get pressed by accident... Eiri could only pray that the rough treatment would not
turn the cellphone into an instrument of destruction.
He snatched the rabbit with his other hand, then knelt quickly over Sakuma-san,
keeping the boy from moving while he held the bunny hostage. "All right. It's
time to talk."
The vocalist let forth an
angry snarl, straining under Eiri's grip, his sinewy
muscles taut. Finally, dark, menacing eyes turned to look at the writer through
a veil of brown bangs. "Goddamnit, Eiri!!" He reached his left hand up and dug his nails
roughly into Eiri's shoulder, letting red flow from
underneath his fingertips and saturate Eiri's shirt.
The grip loosened, though, as Ryuichi threw his head
back and emitted a single lonely, empty sob. Before anyone could react, he was
re-possesed by malevolent Sakuma-san, who proceeded
to burrow his fingers further into Eiri.
Shuichi let forth a gasp, and ran to help Eiri, calling out, "Yuki!!!" Eiri let out a hiss of pain as the blood began to flow, but did not loosen his grip on the singer. Instead, he waited out the storm, steeling himself against the brief vision of the pain in the eyes of the suppressed Ryuichi. "Shuichi, stay back! It's all right... I'll handle this." I don't want you anywhere near this situation. You've been hurt too much already... Through clenched teeth, he addressed Sakuma-san. "That won't work any more. Like it or not, you're going to have to talk to me."
"Would you really like to know what it's like to get inside our head, Eiri-san?" A voice, far less angry than Ryuichi's malevolent personality, slithered from the boy's lips. His eyes became cloudy, reminiscent of the time when he'd been leaning against the windowpane at Eiri's house. "I don't think you want to know what's there..."
Eiri would really rather not be having this discussion in front of Tohma, Aizawa and Shuichi... especially Shuichi... but he steeled himself and spoke anyway. "You said yourself that I would understand. Don't you remember?" He searched the singer's eyes, hoping for some glimmer of understanding or memory. "Why don't you try it?" While the writer was speaking, Tohma suddenly appeared beside Eiri, looking a little worn out as he pinned Ryuichi's other hand to the floor. He won't try that again with Eiri-san... The NG vocalist, however, stared at Eiri with a melancholy look, eyes mirroring a stormy sky. He shuddered and a tear fell from between darkened lashes. "He doesn't want to hurt you, Eiri-san..."
A quick glance at Tohma could almost have been relief, but... no. Eiri would never show that kind of emotion to the other blonde. He addressed Ryuichi. "It's a little late for that now. Time to come clean--all of you." Tohma put in his own words, addressing the singer softly, for the first time. "...Ryuichi. I'm sorry." Even as he spoke, however, he knew it was too late for apologies. Eiri's jaw clenched slightly as Tohma speaks. Sorry, is he...? He said as much to me, once... For a moment, he felt a strange sense of kinship with Ryuichi, but he quickly shoved all emotions aside, tightening his grip.
The boy began to twitch underneath Tohma and Yuki's hands. "Come clean?" A smirk. "What are you talking about...? I have nothing to hide." Eiri's hand on Sakuma-san's arm was not tight enough to cause discomfort, but it would certainly keep him pinned down. "Then why don't you tell me how you feel...?" Eiri asked. "That's all. Just tell me how you feel."
Ryuichi averted his eyes for a moment, looking sadly at the ground on which he was pinned. "...Why does Eiri-san ask me that...?" A response came to his own lips as soon as the question was asked. "I don't know. I don't know why anyone would waste their time on you, asking what you feel..." A slight tremor ran through his body. "No one asks me how I feel... That's right. Because you're not worth asking." Tohma's eyes enlarged gradually as he listened to the conversation, his hand quaking upon his old friend's wrist. Ryuichi...
Eiri's jaw was clenched, his palm sweaty against the cold metal of the gun in his left hand. He felt Tohma's reaction more than he saw it, but did not turn away from Ryuichi. "I'm asking now, Ryuichi. Why don't you tell me...?" Calling upon all of his literary strength, Eiri chose his words with infinite care, structuring every facet of his expression and tone to make Ryuichi believe that, at that moment, he was Eiri's only concern.
"I feel..." The vocalist's face was impassive, as he turned his face up to meet Eiri's eyes. "Have you ever seen a puppet show, Eiri-san...?"
"Yes..." The hand on the gun twitched a little bit, but Eiri tendered no other reaction. "Yes, I have."
"I feel sorry for the puppets, Eiri-san. What if they don't want to feel sad? What if they don't want to perform?" His eyes flickered a little, tears threatening to fall again. "But no one cares, because they're just puppets. No one realizes what the puppet feels."
A lump buildt in Eiri's throat and he swallowed involuntarily, speaking softly. "I... I know, Ryuichi. It's hard, isn't it? It's hard to sit back and watch as your life slips away... it's hard not to have control. Isn't it." His tone was strange, a mixture of distance and depth, and his eyes flicked very, very briefly towards Tohma before resettling on Sakuma-san.
"Yes. Yes..." The words were spoken in soft sobs, as his hands clenched quietly underneath both Eiri and Tohma's grip, each wishing to cover his face so he wouldn't have to cry... not in front of them all. The blonde producer leaned closer to the two of them, eyes melancholy and regretful. "I'm sorry..." It was all he seemed to be able to bring himself to say, as he felt his heart being crushed by Ryuichi's words.
Eiri swallowed, hard... and slowly let his hand up from Ryuichi's arm. He was still straddling the singer, but the arm was free. His fingers tightened against the gun, then loosened slightly. It was a long time ago. That was... a long time ago. Sakuma-san is hurting now. Don't let him go the way you did... "We'll help you, Sakuma-san. It doesn't have to be that way any more." He hated to show such weakness in front of Tohma, hated it more to show such emotions in front of Shuichi... but it was necessary. And really, Eiri didn't have a choice. To think it had been less than a day since the bubbly, happy singer had shown up in Eiri's apartment. They had both learned so much since then. "Ryuichi... it's time to go home."
Tohma let go of Ryuichi's hand as well, as if by instinct, and the singer claped his hands to his face, sobbing loudly. Tachi, standing dumbfounded on the other side of the altar, stayed as silent as a sentinel. Tohma ran his ringed fingers through Ryuichi's hair, trying to pacify him a little, as the chocolate-haired one stuttered between his sobs, "Okay. Okay, Eiri-san." It was just like the time he had before, at the airport, before any of this had ever happened. Shuichi's cerulean eyes were watching the scene in shock, as he slowly saw his idol break down into tiny fragmented shards in front of Yuki. "...Sakuma-san," he whispered.
Just as he had several times before, Eiri gathered Ryuichi into his arms, though he first placed the dangerous pink bunny into Tohma's waiting hands. The gun slipped into his jacket again and he settled Sakuma-san against his chest. Straightening carefully, he called softly, "Shuichi... come on. It's time for us all to go home." His lips twisted into a slight smirk. "And hurry up. We're probably already late."
Shuichi got up suddenly, running to Ryuichi and Eiri as Tohma walked ahead of them, past Aizawa-san and towards the doors. The pink-haired and bedraggled singer burst out, "Is Sakuma-san alright?!" He hugged the crying form as his sad eyes looked upwards to question Eiri. Tachi continued to stare, until something low was spoken from Tohma's throat, and he quickly followed after the producer.
"He's going to be." Eiri glanced down at Shuichi for a moment, making certain the little singer was ok, then turned his eyes to Tohma. "I think you had better get us a flight back to Japan," he told the producer quietly.
"Heh. Done." Tohma spoke quietly as well, regaining his composure as he flicked open his petite cell phone and called the airline. When the call was done, his finger lingered upon the END button, carefully eyeing the rabbit, and then the phone. He pressed the button to end the call. Nothing happened. He let out the breath he'd been holding. Tachi walked up beside Tohma. "Is everything alright, Seguchi-san?" he asked carefully. "Heh... if it was alright, I wouldn't be here," the blonde responded, glancing over at Eiri, Shuichi, and Ryuichi.
Shuichi gained cute puppy eyes and a puppy tail as he piped up, "Can I sit with you and Sakuma-san on the planneee? Pleaase?" Eiri eyed his lover fondly, though his expression did not reflect it. "Only if you can be quiet. I have a headache." His tone softened the words considerably.
"YAY!" The pink-haired singer beams ecstatically. "I promise, Yuki, I promisepromisepromise I won't be loud!!" He bounced up and down with glee, stirring Ryuichi to look at him and smile half-heartedly. A tired chuckle was Eiri's response. "All right, you baka. Come on."
The trip back through the streets of London to the airport seemed to go by in a blur, a stark contrast to Eiri's last trip through this city. Tohma had taken care of everything, and Eiri marveled at the ease that travel took on when NG's producer was in the party. They were immediately bumped up to first class, and Eiri relaxed in the center seat, with Ryuichi by the aisle and Shuichi gracing the window. The tired writer sank back, marveling at the softness of the cushions, and let his thoughts flow. Thank God Shuichi is safe.... His eyes drifted to his pink-haired seatmate for a moment and he sighed softly, relieved that the ordeal was over. The events in the church replayed themselves in his mind and he frowned softly. Tachi... he must have changed, since ASK was dropped from NG's label. He was trying to help us. Maybe I should have given him more of a chance. Softly, he slipped his gun out of his jacket, staring down at the cold metal in contemplation.
Shuichi gazed out of the window in sheer delight, watching as the plane took off and white splotches upon a grey canvas soared into view. He marveled at the rain droplets upon the window—it was always raining in London. Twitching erratically between thoughts, he spinned around to face Yuki. "Na, Yuu—" he paused as he spied the gun.
Eiri looked up at his lover and raised an eyebrow, but made no move to hide the weapon. "Eh?"
"Ano..." Shuichi stared in contemplation at the gun for a moment, its lustrous surface reflecting upon the lens of his own eye, creating an odd shine upon the boy's iris. He'd never actually seen a gun shot in his life—he saw it on TV, though, and he always cried when the people they shot died. What would happen if it were in real life...? He turned all the way around, positioning his legs so that they faced Yuki. "Ne... would you have shot Tachi-kun...?" He tore his gaze away from the sparkling gun and stared Yuki in the eyes.
A brief vision of pain passed across Yuki's golden orbs. He glanced down, shifting gaze calling Shuichi's attention to his hands as he expertly flipped open the revolver and held it up mutely for inspection. Not a single chamber was opaque; the gun was completely empty.
"Awww, Yuuukiiiii~~!" Shuichi glomped his love, body chibi and eyes grinning. Ryuichi turned to look at the two, and grinned wearily. "Ne, is it Glomp Eiri-san day? I want to glomp him too." His hug was less joyful than Shuichi's, but a hug nonetheless. Tohma peered over from his seat and saw the two hugging Eiri. Man... Today was just not his day, was it? Eiri grunted as he was tackled by the two vocalists, one on each side. "Oi! Shu—" Any further words were cut off as he got the wind knocked out of him, but he didn't seem to mind quite as much as one might expect.
"Heh..." Ryuichi yawned, head sliding down upon Eiri's shoulder as he dozed off to sleep. Shuichi grinned broadly as he saw his sleeping friend lying upon the writer's shoulder, and gave Yuki another quick hug before settling into his own seat, hoping the taller man wouldn't get mad at him. Tohma's eyes narrowed as he watched Ryuichi fall asleep upon Eiri. Damn, I need to find some horrible ailment or disease to catch to get with Eiri... He peered over the seat back, surveying the first class. ...I wonder if anyone here has Ebola?
only a wee bit more! click over to the epilogue—i didn't have the heart to hold it back after those disgraceful six months, so i'm uploading them both at once. please, please, don't let that keep you from leaving a review here, though. tell us what you thought of the ending! let's break a hundred!
—vethia & midori-chan
