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Disclaimer:  I do not own any of the Rumiko Takahashi characters named here, nor do I own Charlie's Angels, Martina (Slayers Next) or a pair of handcuffs.

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"In there."  Sesshomaru motioned to the master bathroom and gave Kagura a push.  He felt a twinge of guilt as she stumbled and cracked her shin on the door.  He didn't mean to be so hard on her, he thought guiltily.  He'd never so much as slapped a woman before.

The only thing keeping him calm right now was Kagura's love for Rin.  That, at least, appeared to be genuine.  It was a shame the woman his daughter adored was going to prison for the rest of her life, he thought grimly.  Maybe he'd allow Rin to see her on visiting days.

They would enter through the secured gates and be led to the visitors section, where Kagura would be waiting for them.  They would face each other through the plexiglass partition; Kagura's face pale and wan against her orange prison jumpsuit.  Tears would form in her eyes at the sight of them, and Sesshomaru would place his hand against hers through the partition, trying to feel her touch…Damn her to Hell!  She's making me lose whatever mind I have left!

Sesshomaru kept the gun digging into her back while he freed one of her hands from the cuffs.  "Kneel here," he gestured to the floor by the toilet.  Closing the lid to the commode, he forced her to lay her upper body across the seat and wrap her arms around the pedestal of the toilet.  When she had done so, he handcuffed her wrists together again.

"What are you doing?" Kagura gasped.

"I've got to get to the pageant events.  Tonight's the interview portion," Sesshomaru informed her.  "I'm just making sure you'll still be here when I return."

"What are you going to list as your objective if you win the crown?" Kagura called from the bathroom as he hurriedly dressed.  "World domination?"

"Stricter punishments for manufacturers of cheap pantyhose," he replied as he squeezed into his corset.  Kagura was back to her usual feisty self, he realized with a grin.  He'd scared the shit out of her earlier, making her think he was going to kill her.  Of course, he had been angry enough to kill her, but that was before Rin had interrupted them.  Before he had seen her concern that Rin would somehow be harmed…a thought prickled against the back of his mind that perhaps something was terribly wrong with this picture.

"Couldn't you at least give me back the towel I was wearing?" Kagura was complaining.

"Cold?"  He walked to the bathroom vanity and began to apply his makeup.  He closed an eye and applied the mascara, looking at her reflection in the mirror as he did so.  The view of her from the vanity was incredible.  "Sorry, but the towel stays off.  I'm not giving up any advantages."  He drew on his eyeliner and contoured his cheeks with the rouge.

Kagura glared at him in response and uttered several unladylike oaths, most questioning his parent's ancestry.  "Hmm, I can't have you making a lot of noise, can I?" Sesshomaru continued.  He grabbed the adhesive tape from the first aid kit in the cabinet and ripped several strips to place over her mouth.

"It's a shame to cover up such a pretty pair of lips."  He patted the tape into place, ignoring her muffled curses.  Her eyes shot pure angry daggers at him.  Why not?  I've already crossed the brink of insanity…Sesshomaru grasped her chin and kissed her soundly through the tape before walking out and closing the bathroom door behind him.  Never thought I'd be grateful for smudge-proof lipstick before.

"Rin?" he poked his head into his daughter's bedroom.  She was propped up against the pillows, reading her favorite dog book.  "Miss Kagura's sleeping.  She's really tired, so promise me you won't go in her room and wake her up.  Uncle Koga will be here in just a minute to read you a story."  And someday please forgive me for telling you such horrible lies.

Rin nodded her agreement and reached her arms up to him for a kiss goodnight.  "Okay!  You look really pretty tonight, Daddy.  Can I have a pink dress like yours?"

******

"Miroku, stop that!" Sango giggled and slapped his hands playfully.  "People can see us!"

Miroku drew her back into the palm trees.  "Okay, we'll just leave the path.  I'm sure there's some secluded spots."  He gave her a lecherous look and tugged her against him.  She tripped over his feet and they both fell to the ground laughing.

The feel of Sango lying on top of him sent all kinds of thoughts spiraling through Miroku's brain, none of them having to do with investigating assassins.  Why wasn't he bored with her yet?  One day in a woman's company usually had him longing to search out new horizons, but Sango entranced him.  Her hair, the subtle scent she wore, her deep, sad eyes, all of these permanently clung to his memories so that even when they were apart she seemed to be a part of him.  His hand inched down her backside.

She arrested his hand before it could reach his intended target.  "Do you hear that?" Sango asked him, scrambling to her feet.  "It sounds like a baby crying or something."

Miroku stood up and listened intently.  Sango was right; there was some sort of sound piercing the dark.  The couple was quietly moving towards the crying sound when something jumped from the tree next to them, startling Miroku and sending him sprawling headfirst into the dirt.

"Oh Miroku, look at it!" Sango exclaimed, picking up a cat.  "The poor thing's soaking wet!"  The cat sneezed in response and continued with its peculiar cry.

"She isn't wearing any tags," Miroku said as he checked the cat over.  "Probably just some stray hanging around the resort."

"But Miroku, look at these pretty bangles she's wearing," said Sango.  "And she looks too well-cared for to be a stray.  This has to be someone's pet.  Give me your shirt; she's shaking with cold."

"I have to give up my shirt for a cat?" Miroku muttered.  "The things I do for love!"  He removed his shirt and handed it to Sango.

"Do you really?" Sango asked as she wrapped up the shivering cat.  "Love me, I mean?  Or were you just saying that?"

Miroku touched her face with a gentle hand.  "Maybe using the word 'love' is rushing things between us," he told her, "but I do care about you, Sango.  Why does that surprise you so much?"

Sango stared at the toes of her combat boots.  "I'm not used to having people care," she murmured sadly, "especially people who know everything about me."

He gently brushed her cheek with a kiss.  "I think you're the most amazing woman ever to clobber me with a pool cue," Miroku told her.  "And if you weren't holding this sharp-clawed evil kitty, I'd show you just how great I think you are."  He dodged a swipe of a paw.

"We have to find her owner," Sango reminded him.  They headed back to the rooms.  "What are we going to call her in the meantime?" she continued.  "We can't just go around calling her 'cat'."

"How about 'Mouse-Breath'?" Miroku suggested.  The cat yowled and took another swipe at him with her paw.

Sango groaned.  "I'll just call her Kirara."

******

"Our next pageant contestant is Ranma Saotome, representing Furinkan High School.  Ranma, tell us a little bit about yourself.  It says here," the pageant host tapped his note card, "that you are a martial artist.  Which form do you practice?"

"I use the Saotome School of Indiscriminate Grappling style of martial arts.  I've been training since I was little."

"You're certainly our youngest contestant.  When did you begin wearing women's fashions?"

"Since I came back from that trip to the Jusenkyo Springs training grounds in China.  I'll get you for this, Pop!"  Ranma jumped up and started shaking his fist at the camera, knocking aside the security personnel attempting to return him to his seat.  "You can't hide forever, you know!  You're around here somewhere, and when I find you I'm going to sell you to the nearest animal sanctuary, you overgrown zoo exhibit!"

Koga looked at Inu-Yasha through bleary eyes.  "He's an interesting one."  He gestured towards the stage.  "Little excitable, wouldn't you say?"  He motioned the waitress for another drink.

Inu-Yasha didn't reply; he seemed to be busy trying to hold onto the table.  Koga gave a derisive snort at the other man's inability to hold his alcohol then grabbed Inu-Yasha's hand as he recognized the waitress approaching their table.  "Shit, it's that Martina woman!  She's completely off her nut.  Pretend we're together."  He pulled Inu-Yasha over to him.

"No way!" Inu-Yasha said in disgust as he struggled to move away from Koga.  "Get your hands off of me!  What if my brother sees us?"

"Trust me, he won't care," Koga told him as Inu-Yasha lurched drunkenly in his seat.  "We don't have an…um…exclusive relationship."

"So it's like that, huh?" Inu-Yasha stated.  "Well, you still better keep your hands to yourself.  And stay away from Kagome, too!  You…you…you wolf."  He tried to tap Koga with his pointed finger and missed, hitting the table instead.  Inu-Yasha made another grab for Koga and this time got a hold of his shirt.

"May I ask just what you're doing, little brother?" a cold voice spoke in Inu-Yasha's ear.

Inu-Yasha gazed at the blurred outlines of the woman standing next to Koga and tapping her foot impatiently.  "I didn't know I had a sister," he hiccupped.  "You know," he cocked his head to the side, "you look a lot like Sesshomaru.  Are you twins?"

"You idiot, I am Sesshomaru.  Now be a good little boy and let go of Koga's shirt.  You're embarrassing me."

"You're the one wearing a dress, and I'm embarrassing you?"  Inu-Yasha reluctantly let go and clumsily tried to straighten Koga's wrinkled collar.  "There," he patted it into place.  "Now you look much better."

"Inu-Yasha, go and sleep this off," Sesshomaru ordered him.  "I'm up next in the interviews and I need to talk to Koga.  Leave!"

"Don' wanna," Inu-Yasha told him.  "Gotta be here for your interview and support you and stuff.  Family, you know."

Sesshomaru saw the producer frantically signaling him from the curtain wings.  "Koga, I need you to get back to our rooms," he told his partner.  "Quickly.  Rin needs someone to watch her."

"Where's Demon-Nanny?" Koga asked.

Sesshomaru glanced at his younger brother, who was slowly sliding beneath the table.  "Ook-lay in our athroom-bay," he ground out while keeping an eye on Inu-Yasha.  "Just get back there, now!"  Sesshomaru sprinted towards the stage then ran back to the inebriated pair.  "Oh.  One more thing.  Read Rin a story, she's waiting for one."  He dashed off.

"I am not reading that puppy book again," Koga said stubbornly.  He hoisted Inu-Yasha to his feet.  "Come on, Inu-Yasha.  We have to leave."

"Where we going?" Inu-Yasha said in a dazed voice.

"Back to the rooms.  You have to read a bedtime story to Rin."

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A/N:  In case you're wondering if someone could actually be handcuffed to the toilet like Kagura, the answer is 'yes'.  The tank is against the wall, see, and…oh never mind.  Sophie-chan and I were just trying to think of the worst place to be handcuffed and came up with this one.  Poor Kagura, we are soooo mean to her.

*hugs her reviewers and throws rose petals at their feet*  Lavender