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Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Rumiko Takahashi characters named here, nor do I own Charlie's Angels. I do own Golden Books' The Poky Little Puppy, a book I think Rin would enjoy.
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"Uncle, are you going to read my bedtime story?"
Inu-Yasha swayed a bit as he walked over to Rin. "Sure," he said as he sat down heavily beside her bed. "What book?"
She handed him a battered and much-read volume. "It's my favorite!" Rin informed him. "I like the puppy! Do you like puppies, Uncle?"
Inu-Yasha silently held his tattooed ankle up for her inspection. "You have a picture of a dog on your leg!" Rin exclaimed joyfully. "I want one! Do you think Daddy will let me get a picture on my leg?"
"Wait until you're sixteen and do it when he's not looking," Inu-Yasha said conspiratorially. "Trust me, he deserves it." Rin looked at him with wide eyes. "Just kidding," he finished lamely. "Let's read this book, okay?"
One good look at the cover was enough to sober him up. The book was very familiar to Inu-Yasha; he didn't even need to look at the pages to tell the story. He knew every word by heart. How many times had his own mother read this book to him? And when his mother had become too ill to even talk, Sesshomaru had read it. Every night, no matter how many times Inu-Yasha asked, his brother Sesshomaru had read the book aloud to him.
And he had forgotten all about it, he realized. Somewhere through the years, after his mother had died and his father had been murdered and Sesshomaru had been left with more responsibility than any young man his age should have to carry, Inu-Yasha had forgotten his brother could be kind. Too self-absorbed and focused on his own inner pain, he'd failed to recognize that his brother had also suffered from the loss of their parents.
He opened the book and wasn't surprised to see his mother's inscription inside the cover. His hands trembled as he traced her words. "To my wonderful sons, may you always have someone to give you a puppy nose," Inu-Yasha read aloud.
"What's a puppy nose?" asked Rin. Inu-Yasha started, he'd forgotten where he was. "It was kind of a family joke," he explained to the child. "If your Daddy and I were upset, my mother would give us a puppy nose. She would tweak our noses like this," he demonstrated, catching the tip of her nose with the tips of two fingers and gently tugging it. Rin giggled in response. "I don't know why she called it a puppy nose. Just one of those funny things families do, I guess," he told her.
"I'm glad your Daddy hung on to this," Inu-Yasha added. "I always figured I'd be reading this to my own kids some day." And he would read it to them a million times, Inu-Yasha decided. Visions of children with silver hair and Kagome's beautiful eyes appeared in his mind. He would have to purchase another copy of this book to read to his children, though, because this copy was staying with Sesshomaru. His brother clearly possessed a hidden sentimental streak.
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There's a naked woman in the master bath.
Koga sat down on the bed, trying to arrange his thoughts. Maybe I didn't really see that. I've had a lot to drink. Yeah, I'll open the bathroom door and there won't be a naked woman handcuffed to the toilet. Yeah.
He opened the door and was disappointed yet again. Not only was the naked woman still handcuffed to the commode, she was also Kagura, the Nanny from Hell. What was his partner up to? This was completely out of character for Sesshomaru, the senior FBI agent famous for never, ever, losing control.
Kagura was trying to talk through the tape covering her mouth. Koga ripped it off, then immediately regretted his mistake. Kagura was angry – no, make that extremely pissed off - and she didn't hesitate to let Koga know her feelings. He slapped the tape back over her mouth in mid-curse.
"When you calm down, I'll remove it again," he told the furious woman. He sat on the edge of the tub and made an effort to get his alcohol-fuzzed brain functioning again. Unless Sesshomaru and Kagura were playing really kinky games, the only explanation for all of this was that something had gone terribly wrong with their surveillance operation. Had Kagura seen something she shouldn't have and threatened to blow their cover?
The woman in question had calmed down and was looking at him with pleading eyes. Koga removed the tape and she mumbled her gratitude. He noticed Kagura was shivering from kneeling on the cold floor. Taking pity, he grabbed Sesshomaru's robe from its hook and draped it about her shoulders, then waited in silence for Kagura to start talking. He didn't have a clue as to what was going on, but he wasn't going to let her know that.
Kagura finally spoke. "So you're in this as well?" she asked quietly. "You don't strike me as the type."
Koga raised his eyebrows at her.
"How can you be involved with this stuff and still sleep at night? Doesn't your conscience bother you at all?" she asked, her temper clearly rising. "I can't believe you guys are taking this deception to such lengths! Talk about bringing your work home with you!"
She had broken their cover. No wonder Sesshomaru had locked her up, her big mouth was a hazard to everything they had worked so hard to achieve. They'd have to try to keep her on ice until the operation was complete. Maybe she could be convinced to cooperate and stay quiet about all of this…
"Aw, all this isn't so bad," Koga responded conversationally as he watched her attempt to stay under the slippery silk robe. "I'll admit it's been hard to pretend I'm gay, but at least I don't have to dress up like Sesshomaru. Of course, I haven't been doing this for very long," he told her. "Sesshomaru's the one with all the experience."
Kagura's face paled and she looked like she was going to throw up. "He-he is?" she whispered.
Why was she looking so horrified? Working for the FBI wasn't that bad a career decision. "Yeah," answered Koga. "He's been doing this for years and he's one of the best. No one, and I mean no one, escapes Sesshomaru when he gets his teeth in them," he told her proudly. "Take Rin's cold-hearted bitch of a mother, for instance. She'd been hiding out for over eleven years, but Sesshomaru was able to track her down in just three months."
Kagura's pupils dilated. "Track her down? You mean hunt her like some-some animal?"
"Well, yeah," Koga said. "I guess you could compare it to hunting. Of course, Sesshomaru had no idea he would wind up with Rin when he did all this. It just kind of worked out that way. Someone had to take care of the charming brat once her mother was out of the picture."
"You know, you should be really happy with yourself," Koga continued. "Sesshomaru's a genius with the masquerade stuff. You're the first one to ever poke a hole through his cover, so that's no small accomplishment. You must be really observant," he smiled at her.
"Sesshomaru doesn't seem to be very happy about it," Kagura croaked.
Koga laughed. "You've dealt Sesshomaru a major blow to his professional pride. His thong panties were definitely tied in a knot when he showed up at the pageant. That's good for him, though," he reassured Kagura. "He needs to remember he can't be perfect all of the time. Of course, I'm sure he'll think up some way to salve his wounded ego."
Her pale face had now turned an unpleasant shade of grayish-green. "Koga," she rasped, "please uncuff my hands. I'm going to be sick." Tears were streaking down her face.
He grabbed his spare key and sprung the lock in time for Kagura to raise the lid of the toilet seat and empty her stomach. Koga held her shuddering shoulders and handed her a washcloth for her face when she finished. She was sobbing uncontrollably now, her breath coming in shortened gasps.
Kagura leaned against him, clinging to his shirt front. "Koga, don't let him go through with this," she begged. "Can't you see how wrong this is?"
"Well, I admit I feel guilty about all of this sometimes. It's hard to be constantly deceiving people, especially when they're nice to you." Koga gave her a rueful grin. "Oh well, that comes with the territory, right? When you're paid to do a job, you just hold your nose and do it." He gently disengaged her hands. "Sit back down now, because Sesshomaru's going to be back any minute and I know he'll want to deal with you personally."
Kagura let out a terrified cry and began to crumple to the floor. Koga reached out to catch her falling form and was greeted with a sharp pain in his forehead. The last thing he saw before his world went black was Kagura. Her eyes were full of fear, but her body was crouched in the fighting stance of a martial artist.
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Miroku stretched out more fully in the bath and felt the warm water loosen his tense muscles. What an assignment. He couldn't write about half of what had happened; no one would believe a word of it. Of course, if the only high point of this junket was Sango, then the trip was worth it.
He could hear Sango finish her conversation on the phone in his bedroom. She had called the operations center and discovered Kagome in the throes of some crisis involving a pig. Miroku had immediately headed for the bath when he heard the news. It was bad enough having to deal with a cat, he wasn't about to get suckered into pig-sitting.
He'd better send some copy to Kaede, he mused. His editor would be calling him at any moment, wanting progress reports on the pageant and pictures as well. Miroku grimaced. Some of these guys looked pretty damn good in a dress. He shook his head, trying to clear the mental images.
A whiskered nose nudged the bathroom door open, and Miroku watched casually as the cat strolled in. He had to admit, 'Kirara' certainly had all the appearances of someone's pampered darling. She was too well-fed and pretty to be some alley stray. The cat jumped onto the lip of the bathtub and started grooming herself, staring at Miroku the entire time.
Miroku sank deeper into the water, ignoring the ring of the telephone. It could only be Kaede, and he didn't feel like leaving the warm bath to argue with his editor. He heard Sango's boots thump across the floor and the ringing stopped.
The cat was starting to give him the creeps. If he didn't know better, he'd swear the cat was checking him out. She was following his every movement, making Miroku keenly aware that not a single part of his body was hidden from her view. 'Kirara' walked daintily along the edge of the bath and then, with a single splash, jumped into the warm water. Miroku sat up, startled.
Sango banged through the open door. "Miroku, it's your editor Kaede on the phone-" she stopped speaking and gasped.
A curved figure had wrapped herself around Miroku, her long hair flowing loose to her waist. "You so handsome!" the beautiful young woman squealed. "You date Shampoo?"
"You slimy, sneaking, low-life, two-timing bastard!" Sango screeched at him. "I take my eyes off you for five minutes and you're already with another woman!" She threw the phone at him, connecting with his eye.
"No!" Miroku protested, trying to rise from the bath. Shampoo was locked around his torso, dragging him back down into the water. "Sango, it's not what you think! I swear!" he hollered at her retreating form. He pushed himself away from the clinging girl and jumped from the tub to run after Sango.
His foot connected with a wet spot on the floor and he went skidding into the opposite wall. As he lay on the hard floor trying to make the buzzing noise in his head stop, Miroku noticed that in his haste he had pressed the handle of the shower faucet and cold water was dousing the entire bathroom. He crawled back to the faucet and shut if off, then lay on his back as the room spun around him.
A thoroughly drenched 'Kirara' pranced up to him and sat on his chest. Miroku looked at the purring animal through his painfully swollen eye. The cat appeared to be smiling.
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A/N: Oh my, poor Kagura and Sesshy are at a complete misunderstanding, and Koga's running mouth certainly isn't helping matters. And we certainly can't blame Shampoo for thinking Miroku's a hottie, now can we? I've always thought Shampoo must get tired of Ranma running away from her all the time…
Thanks to all my wonderful reviewers! I've noticed most of you keep very late hours, so here's some No-Doze *rummages through desk* Darn, I seem to be all out. Okay, here's some chocolate instead :D Lavender
