Fear Part 11
Anakin ran his fingers over the rough stones that had once been his home. Over the course of his forty-five years, he had really spent very little time at the lake retreat. A few weeks in his youth, two months when he'd returned to Naboo with his children, and then the past couple of months when he and Luke had begun their dream of restoring the Jedi.
It wasn't much time, really. Less than half a year, all told. But the lake retreat had been the one place where he'd truly felt at peace. Some of his happiest memories had occurred here.
He'd declared his love for his beautiful Padme here. It had been the site of their wedding, and the place where they'd spent the first wondrous days of their all-too-brief marriage.
He had shared good times with his children here. They had been able to relax and have fun together while vacationing at the retreat. They had gotten to know one another on a personal level. He had no doubt that the time they had spent here had helped Leia and Han to become closer to him. It was as if the carefree days spent walking in the woods and boating on the lake had chased away some of the shadows of the past.
He and his son had grown even closer here. They'd stayed at the retreat while Luke had been recovering from the bysa virus, had spent quiet days fishing on the lake, getting to know one another better, and planning the mission to search for Betta and Keren Miret. They had completed that mission successfully, even though they'd traveled across the galaxy in vain first. No, not in vain, Anakin reflected. They'd accomplished a lot of good on their journey, and although some of it had been painful, ultimately it had been the best thing for their relationship.
And most recently, the retreat had been the site of the hopes of the new Jedi Order. Anakin had begun to feel just a little bit more at peace with himself. He'd thought that maybe, just maybe, by helping to rebuild the Order, he could begin to atone for the past. He'd been able to do something good for people, for the galaxy.
And now it all lay in ruins around him.
He was so caught up in his depression that for once he failed to notice his children's worried expressions. After spending several hours sifting through the debris, searching for any items that might have survived intact, the rest of the family had finally headed to the ships to try to eat a little breakfast and get some sleep. But Anakin couldn't bring himself to leave. He remained kneeling among the broken stones, and Luke and Leia had stayed at his side.
"Father," Leia laid her hand on his shoulder. "We can't do anything else here right now. Come on, let's go to the Falcon. Threepio's made some soup and toast for us."
But Anakin shook his head. "I'm not hungry."
"We need to keep our strength up, now more than ever, if we're going to help the security guards with the investigation," Luke reminded him gently.
At his words, they all involuntarily glanced at the red-uniformed guards who were prowling around the grounds, searching for evidence against the perpetrators. The local security guards had arrived close on the heels of the emergency squad and more had arrived from Theed that morning as news of the attack against the Jedi Academy had spread.
"I spoke with Mon Mothma a little while ago," Leia said. "She's sending General Madine and some NR Intelligence agents here, too."
"Madine himself is coming?" Luke questioned.
She nodded. "This was an assassination attempt against the Jedi, and incidentally against Han and Chewbacca and me as well. Of course, NR Intelligence is going to get involved at this point."
"I just thought that Madine had planned to retire once the New Republic was established," Luke said.
"He is going to retire, but Mon Mothma said she was going to ask him to come as a special favor since this is so serious," Leia replied.
Luke turned his attention back to their father, who scarcely seemed to be listening. "See, Father," he said as if trying to reassure a lost child. "With all of us working together, we'll find out who's responsible and they'll go to prison. We'll rebuild the retreat and go on. This isn't the end."
"It won't be the same," Anakin said heavily, picking up a handful of rough pebbles and letting them slide through his fingers to the ground.
Luke took his hand and squeezed it gently in comfort, while Leia moved to kneel in front of Anakin and took his face between her hands.
"Now, Father," she spoke softly, but there was an undeniable note of command in her voice. "Losing the retreat is a terrible blow. And I'm upset about it, too. I got married here, and it's a link to Mother, and we don't have many of those. But still, the most important thing is that everyone is alive. Places and things can be replaced. People cannot. We were very, very lucky."
Anakin looked deep into her eyes, Padme's eyes. Leia actually resembled him more in her facial features, but she had Padme's eyes. Wideset dark brown eyes that could sparkle with joy or glow with compassion. He could see love, and concern, and a determination not to let him wallow in depression in them now. He looked at Luke, kneeling beside him, still holding his hand, and his son's love and sympathy almost overpowered him.
His precious children. If he had lost them.but no, that didn't bear thinking about. He quickly shoved that thought out of his mind. Leia was right. They were extremely fortunate that they all had survived. They could be grieving for a lot more than a building and lost memories right now. They could all be dead for that matter.
He pulled his children into his arms and held them close. "Yes," he said quietly. "You're right, Leia. We are lucky. And we will rebuild and go on."
It wouldn't be exactly the same home he had known, and he would grieve for that, but he had a precious legacy in his children. And as long as the family was together, they would be all right.
He kissed the top of Leia's head, then Luke's, and said with new determination. "Let's go eat and rest. And then we'll see how the investigation is shaping up."
They stood and began picking their way through the rubble towards the Falcon and the Angel parked some distance away. Fortunately, both ships had been far enough from the retreat that they had suffered only minimal surface damage. The family had moved into them for the time being.
As the Skywalkers reached the edge of the broken rocks, Luke happened to stumble over a misshapen bit of metal. Glancing down, he saw what it was and frowned. Kneeling again, he picked it up and looked around until he spied a similar piece gleaming dully from under a large gray tile. He pulled it out and held both pieces in his hands, looking stricken.
"What is it?" Leia asked, as she noticed her brother's distress.
"Our crest," Luke whispered. He stared down at the broken plate in dismay. Both halves of the plate were so melted that the engravings were barely recognizable, and they were twisted beyond anyone's ability to repair.
Anakin and Leia waited for Luke to rejoin them, but when he just stayed there, they went back and sat beside him.
"Now, am I going to have to give my speech about how we should just be glad to be alive again?" Leia asked. The words were lightly teasing, but the tone of her voice was warm and sympathetic. When Luke didn't respond, she placed an arm around his shoulders. "We'll get another one, Luke. Don't look like that."
"I wish I had put it in the safe with Luke's holograph scrapbook," Anakin said regretfully. "It would have been all right then." That was another bright spot in the horror of the destruction for him. The scrapbook that Mrs. Darklighter had given them on Tatooine, the one that contained a few priceless pictures of his son as a child, had been undamaged. Anakin kept it, along with a few other important documents, in a fireproof vault in his bedroom.
Leia smiled at him. "It wasn't meant to be kept in a safe, Father."
He nodded. "I know." He reached over to stroke Luke's hair. "Leia's right, son. We can get another crest. Come on now, we've got things to do."
Reluctantly, Luke laid down the broken family crest and let his father and sister help him to his feet. For some reason, discovering the ruined plate upset him more than anything else. He himself wasn't sure why, but his expression remained troubled as he followed Leia and Anakin to the Falcon.
TBC
Anakin ran his fingers over the rough stones that had once been his home. Over the course of his forty-five years, he had really spent very little time at the lake retreat. A few weeks in his youth, two months when he'd returned to Naboo with his children, and then the past couple of months when he and Luke had begun their dream of restoring the Jedi.
It wasn't much time, really. Less than half a year, all told. But the lake retreat had been the one place where he'd truly felt at peace. Some of his happiest memories had occurred here.
He'd declared his love for his beautiful Padme here. It had been the site of their wedding, and the place where they'd spent the first wondrous days of their all-too-brief marriage.
He had shared good times with his children here. They had been able to relax and have fun together while vacationing at the retreat. They had gotten to know one another on a personal level. He had no doubt that the time they had spent here had helped Leia and Han to become closer to him. It was as if the carefree days spent walking in the woods and boating on the lake had chased away some of the shadows of the past.
He and his son had grown even closer here. They'd stayed at the retreat while Luke had been recovering from the bysa virus, had spent quiet days fishing on the lake, getting to know one another better, and planning the mission to search for Betta and Keren Miret. They had completed that mission successfully, even though they'd traveled across the galaxy in vain first. No, not in vain, Anakin reflected. They'd accomplished a lot of good on their journey, and although some of it had been painful, ultimately it had been the best thing for their relationship.
And most recently, the retreat had been the site of the hopes of the new Jedi Order. Anakin had begun to feel just a little bit more at peace with himself. He'd thought that maybe, just maybe, by helping to rebuild the Order, he could begin to atone for the past. He'd been able to do something good for people, for the galaxy.
And now it all lay in ruins around him.
He was so caught up in his depression that for once he failed to notice his children's worried expressions. After spending several hours sifting through the debris, searching for any items that might have survived intact, the rest of the family had finally headed to the ships to try to eat a little breakfast and get some sleep. But Anakin couldn't bring himself to leave. He remained kneeling among the broken stones, and Luke and Leia had stayed at his side.
"Father," Leia laid her hand on his shoulder. "We can't do anything else here right now. Come on, let's go to the Falcon. Threepio's made some soup and toast for us."
But Anakin shook his head. "I'm not hungry."
"We need to keep our strength up, now more than ever, if we're going to help the security guards with the investigation," Luke reminded him gently.
At his words, they all involuntarily glanced at the red-uniformed guards who were prowling around the grounds, searching for evidence against the perpetrators. The local security guards had arrived close on the heels of the emergency squad and more had arrived from Theed that morning as news of the attack against the Jedi Academy had spread.
"I spoke with Mon Mothma a little while ago," Leia said. "She's sending General Madine and some NR Intelligence agents here, too."
"Madine himself is coming?" Luke questioned.
She nodded. "This was an assassination attempt against the Jedi, and incidentally against Han and Chewbacca and me as well. Of course, NR Intelligence is going to get involved at this point."
"I just thought that Madine had planned to retire once the New Republic was established," Luke said.
"He is going to retire, but Mon Mothma said she was going to ask him to come as a special favor since this is so serious," Leia replied.
Luke turned his attention back to their father, who scarcely seemed to be listening. "See, Father," he said as if trying to reassure a lost child. "With all of us working together, we'll find out who's responsible and they'll go to prison. We'll rebuild the retreat and go on. This isn't the end."
"It won't be the same," Anakin said heavily, picking up a handful of rough pebbles and letting them slide through his fingers to the ground.
Luke took his hand and squeezed it gently in comfort, while Leia moved to kneel in front of Anakin and took his face between her hands.
"Now, Father," she spoke softly, but there was an undeniable note of command in her voice. "Losing the retreat is a terrible blow. And I'm upset about it, too. I got married here, and it's a link to Mother, and we don't have many of those. But still, the most important thing is that everyone is alive. Places and things can be replaced. People cannot. We were very, very lucky."
Anakin looked deep into her eyes, Padme's eyes. Leia actually resembled him more in her facial features, but she had Padme's eyes. Wideset dark brown eyes that could sparkle with joy or glow with compassion. He could see love, and concern, and a determination not to let him wallow in depression in them now. He looked at Luke, kneeling beside him, still holding his hand, and his son's love and sympathy almost overpowered him.
His precious children. If he had lost them.but no, that didn't bear thinking about. He quickly shoved that thought out of his mind. Leia was right. They were extremely fortunate that they all had survived. They could be grieving for a lot more than a building and lost memories right now. They could all be dead for that matter.
He pulled his children into his arms and held them close. "Yes," he said quietly. "You're right, Leia. We are lucky. And we will rebuild and go on."
It wouldn't be exactly the same home he had known, and he would grieve for that, but he had a precious legacy in his children. And as long as the family was together, they would be all right.
He kissed the top of Leia's head, then Luke's, and said with new determination. "Let's go eat and rest. And then we'll see how the investigation is shaping up."
They stood and began picking their way through the rubble towards the Falcon and the Angel parked some distance away. Fortunately, both ships had been far enough from the retreat that they had suffered only minimal surface damage. The family had moved into them for the time being.
As the Skywalkers reached the edge of the broken rocks, Luke happened to stumble over a misshapen bit of metal. Glancing down, he saw what it was and frowned. Kneeling again, he picked it up and looked around until he spied a similar piece gleaming dully from under a large gray tile. He pulled it out and held both pieces in his hands, looking stricken.
"What is it?" Leia asked, as she noticed her brother's distress.
"Our crest," Luke whispered. He stared down at the broken plate in dismay. Both halves of the plate were so melted that the engravings were barely recognizable, and they were twisted beyond anyone's ability to repair.
Anakin and Leia waited for Luke to rejoin them, but when he just stayed there, they went back and sat beside him.
"Now, am I going to have to give my speech about how we should just be glad to be alive again?" Leia asked. The words were lightly teasing, but the tone of her voice was warm and sympathetic. When Luke didn't respond, she placed an arm around his shoulders. "We'll get another one, Luke. Don't look like that."
"I wish I had put it in the safe with Luke's holograph scrapbook," Anakin said regretfully. "It would have been all right then." That was another bright spot in the horror of the destruction for him. The scrapbook that Mrs. Darklighter had given them on Tatooine, the one that contained a few priceless pictures of his son as a child, had been undamaged. Anakin kept it, along with a few other important documents, in a fireproof vault in his bedroom.
Leia smiled at him. "It wasn't meant to be kept in a safe, Father."
He nodded. "I know." He reached over to stroke Luke's hair. "Leia's right, son. We can get another crest. Come on now, we've got things to do."
Reluctantly, Luke laid down the broken family crest and let his father and sister help him to his feet. For some reason, discovering the ruined plate upset him more than anything else. He himself wasn't sure why, but his expression remained troubled as he followed Leia and Anakin to the Falcon.
TBC
