Author Note: I would like to thank all my reviewers so far:
J.H. Wheatley - thanks for the advice.
Vikki - thanks for being a good friend and reviewing
The freshest - thanks for just being Nilly
MorThreeo - thank you for reviewing
Faxton - I did not end it there
Fairylove - thanks for reviewing Issy
Boo26 - Anna I have finally finished. Yeh!
Rosi - thanks for being a brilliant author yourself
black*sparrow - I took your advise and something else has happened
peepsRfun2eat - thanks for the sweet review
Chocolate Muse - thanks for being my second ever reviewer
Lena Judith - thanks for being my first reviewer!
I am sorry for the really long break between doing the last chapter but I have had a death of my own to deal with and I have only just felt ready to come back and let poor Ginny rest. I hope you enjoy it. If I get flames I do have an alternative ending but I feel this finishes it better than the other one.
~ ~ ~ Ginny contemplated her dream on her way home on the Hogwart's Express. Sirius was dead! She convinced herself of this. She thought the pain would finally rest; the wound would heal over.
She was no longer fighting against the truth. She now accepted it but a wound never disappears, a scar is always left and hers was sore and every word a person uttered would in someway irritate it again.
The mere indication of a dog, or like animal, made her heart leap and images of her Padfoot rushed into her head. Or even the mentioning of black made a shiver run down her spine and the pain would flare again.
Of course many students, on the coaches, were whispering, exchanging gossip. It was big news to them that Harry had once again avoided Voldermort. She wished that people would take a minute to honour Sirius' heroic battle and mourn his death.
Even if they had known Sirius was dead they would not care! Harry did not care much either! He wallowed in the glory and took pleasure in turning Malfoy and his cronies into indescribable blobs. But even this humorous joke did not lighten her spirits.
She felt weighed down, unable to move, her body was weak but her mind weaker. Fact and fiction were getting muddled and she could have sworn blind that Sirius was in fact residing in the darkness, hiding from the press. However the underlying truth was always there and would pop up during these daydreams, bringing her down to earth with an almighty thud.
Her next weeks at the Burrow were ones of torment, struggling to keep together during the day and having the same nightmare while sleeping.
Since her last night in Hogwarts, her dreams had been all the same but each one grew in clarity. By the fifth night she could hear voices in the "Death Arch" room but was unable to get in and by the seventh she could her a conversation between two people.
She tried ever so hard to get into the room and interpret what they said; she just could not. She would quite often wake up more tired than when she had fallen asleep.
They were speaking English and when she woke up she remembered certain words but no sentences and she had no idea the topic of such a highly heated conversation. Each dream the voices would get louder and higher pitched. Like when somebody is trying to communicate with his or her partially deaf relative. Ginny could not understand why.
On the twelfth night she was retaliating a great deal against her body. She was not going to go to sleep. The dreams were getting too much. But so many restless nights had left her unable to defend herself against the growing cloud of sleep and it unleashed itself in one almighty storm.
She was once again standing in the corridor of the Department of Mysteries and went through exactly the same routine as in every dream. The voices were louder than ever but this time Ginny did not have the energy to try and open the door. She knew it would be locked so she simply leant against it thinking and listening. Soon her legs gave way and she slid to the floor in a heap and wept.
Why was this dream haunting her? Why can't she get in? Through her sobs she heard something. It made her stop abruptly. She wiped her eyes and sniffed loudly. She closed her eyes, heavy with lack of sleep and listened.
"Sirius, you can not give up! She will listen. I promise you," said a woman.
Sirius, it can't be! Ginny leapt up, regenerated by the sudden release of hope into her system.
"How can you be sure? This is the twelfth night. She has not once paused during any of her visions and actually listened and accepted what she has heard. Maybe I was wrong to think that she needs to be comforted. Maybe she is enjoying living a life of mourning?" said the gruff, distinguishable voice of Sirius.
It was first time Ginny had realised that it was Sirius on the other side of the door and she was unable to contain her joy. She suddenly realised what Sirius had said and it hit her hard, and she again fell to her knees but throughout she kept listening.
"Sirius you know that she cares for you dearly. You must tell her to move on," said the women, who Ginny no longer liked due to her attempting to stop Sirius from liking her. But Ginny had lost all sense of reality and thought that this was actually real.
"I know! You don't have to tell me. She has to realise that I am dead and will never come back," said Sirius, growing frustrated.
Ginny was not going to listen to this. This was not her Sirius. Certainly not, and once again she ran. Ran away from her problems. This way she did not have to face the truth from the man himself. Ran into the endless blackness of her dream. She ran so hard that when she woke up suddenly, her chest was heaving and her sheets were strewn across her bedroom.
She sat on her bed, holding her knees and rocking backwards and forwards. She was thinking, thinking hard about what had just happened and the more she thought about it the more she denied the fact that Sirius was dead.
She did not care whether she went to sleep or not. Not now her mind was engulfed with voices both when she was asleep and when awake. And not surprisingly she went back to her dreams due to utter exhaustion.
She was standing under a cherry tree, gazing up at the stars in the cloudless night sky. The summer wind blew against her rosy cheeks sending her ginger hair flying in all directions. The wind toppled the summer cherry blossom from the tree and it gently floated down, like miniature pink boats floating on a calm sea and landed on the sun-baked ground.
In front of her lay a vast lake, and the reflection in the rippling water made it look like the stars were dancing across the waves. All was calm and still, the sort of place where you could forget about everything. Exactly what Ginny wanted.
Then she felt something warm grip onto her shoulder and turning she saw Sirius standing over her. Tall and rugged as he had been when she first met him.
"Ginny, you at last listened to me. I was trying to tell you to move ." said Sirius quietly but before he could finish Ginny interrupted.
"Is it really you? Or is it my imagination?" Ginny questioned reaching up and putting her hand on his cheek.
Sirius clasped her hand in his hands and crouched down so he was at her height.
"Well it is me but this is a vision. I am dead, Ginny. You must accept that," said Sirius staring deep into her eyes.
Ginny looked back into his, they once again had the sparkle, and like the lake's cool water, the sparkles in his eyes danced and twirled. It took her several moments to reply, she did not want to lose his gaze.
"I know," she said shifting her gaze to the ground, "but." She could not tell Sirius how she felt he might laugh at her.
With that, an incredible breeze hit them, showering them both with blossom. This sudden gust of wind filled Ginny with self-confidence. This could be her last chance to tell him how she felt.
"Sirius," she paused, how could she put it? She had waited so long to tell him and now she could not work out what to say.
"Yes?" said Sirius, lowering his head even more so to get eye contact with Ginny.
"I really like you." She sighed, finally she had told him.
"I know," said Sirius, nodding.
"How?" questioned Ginny, surprised at his quick response.
"Well, you must have liked me as you have mourned my death for so long." said Sirius. " I never really thought that you classed me as a friend."
Friend! He did not understand obviously.
"Sirius, I really really like you!" She stood silently waiting for Sirius' response. Sirius simply straightened up and looked down at Ginny puzzled.
Suddenly a smile broke on his face, it was like a ray of sunshine for Ginny.
"I was never very good with girls and I have not really improved with time either." chuckled Sirius.
Ginny's eyes were filling with tears, he was laughing at her, and she was going to run again, as she turned Sirius yet again gripped her shoulder but this time tighter.
"I am sorry, Ginny. You are not a girl, you are a lady." Ginny spun around. " You obviously have taste." Ginny let out a weak smile.
"I am not being silly, I do really like you!" argued Ginny.
"Ginny I like you too, as a friend. I am twice your age, a convicted criminal and dead. Not really good boyfriend material. What would Ron say if he knew?" laughed Sirius.
He was laughing again but Ginny was not going to run, she liked this happy Sirius. This was the Sirius who she first met. She missed him.
"I miss you too," said Sirius.
"How did you .?" asked Ginny
"I am in your thoughts. I am with you all the time." interrupted Sirius.
"Like a guardian angel?" Ginny said with a sound of glee in her voice.
"Yes, although my physical state is not with you I am in your memories and as long as you remember me then I will be there to protect you." Ginny filled with joy and leapt forward, squeezing Sirius tightly.
Ginny did not know how long she was hugging Sirius for but when she let go she could see that the sky was turning red and the stars were disappearing.
"It is nearly dawn." Sirius broke the silence. "I must go soon but remember that I will always be with you." Sirius reached into his pocket and clasped in his hand was a blue rose. He handed it to Ginny. Ginny admired it.
"This is beautiful. Why have you given it too me?" Ginny questioned.
"Like a rose wilts so does everything reach an end, but as long as you remember the blossoming rose it will always be alive in your memory. Do you mourn every petal that falls from a flower? No." Tears were filling Ginny's eyes. He took her hands in his once again. "Even though my outer petals have been discarded, I am still a blossoming rose in your heart." He paused. "I must go. Take care Ginny and I will be there when you need me."
Ginny woke up in her bed. The sunlight was beaming through a hole in the curtain, blinding her. She got up and opened the curtains, flooding the room with light. She stared through the window, the sun was rising above the hills but in the distance a star was burning brightly, glowing in the red sky. She turned around and on her writing desk lay a blue rose, beside it was a small note.
"With all my love, Padfoot"
* I would just like to say that I found this really hard to write so I am not that cold-hearted Please could you review? : )
J.H. Wheatley - thanks for the advice.
Vikki - thanks for being a good friend and reviewing
The freshest - thanks for just being Nilly
MorThreeo - thank you for reviewing
Faxton - I did not end it there
Fairylove - thanks for reviewing Issy
Boo26 - Anna I have finally finished. Yeh!
Rosi - thanks for being a brilliant author yourself
black*sparrow - I took your advise and something else has happened
peepsRfun2eat - thanks for the sweet review
Chocolate Muse - thanks for being my second ever reviewer
Lena Judith - thanks for being my first reviewer!
I am sorry for the really long break between doing the last chapter but I have had a death of my own to deal with and I have only just felt ready to come back and let poor Ginny rest. I hope you enjoy it. If I get flames I do have an alternative ending but I feel this finishes it better than the other one.
~ ~ ~ Ginny contemplated her dream on her way home on the Hogwart's Express. Sirius was dead! She convinced herself of this. She thought the pain would finally rest; the wound would heal over.
She was no longer fighting against the truth. She now accepted it but a wound never disappears, a scar is always left and hers was sore and every word a person uttered would in someway irritate it again.
The mere indication of a dog, or like animal, made her heart leap and images of her Padfoot rushed into her head. Or even the mentioning of black made a shiver run down her spine and the pain would flare again.
Of course many students, on the coaches, were whispering, exchanging gossip. It was big news to them that Harry had once again avoided Voldermort. She wished that people would take a minute to honour Sirius' heroic battle and mourn his death.
Even if they had known Sirius was dead they would not care! Harry did not care much either! He wallowed in the glory and took pleasure in turning Malfoy and his cronies into indescribable blobs. But even this humorous joke did not lighten her spirits.
She felt weighed down, unable to move, her body was weak but her mind weaker. Fact and fiction were getting muddled and she could have sworn blind that Sirius was in fact residing in the darkness, hiding from the press. However the underlying truth was always there and would pop up during these daydreams, bringing her down to earth with an almighty thud.
Her next weeks at the Burrow were ones of torment, struggling to keep together during the day and having the same nightmare while sleeping.
Since her last night in Hogwarts, her dreams had been all the same but each one grew in clarity. By the fifth night she could hear voices in the "Death Arch" room but was unable to get in and by the seventh she could her a conversation between two people.
She tried ever so hard to get into the room and interpret what they said; she just could not. She would quite often wake up more tired than when she had fallen asleep.
They were speaking English and when she woke up she remembered certain words but no sentences and she had no idea the topic of such a highly heated conversation. Each dream the voices would get louder and higher pitched. Like when somebody is trying to communicate with his or her partially deaf relative. Ginny could not understand why.
On the twelfth night she was retaliating a great deal against her body. She was not going to go to sleep. The dreams were getting too much. But so many restless nights had left her unable to defend herself against the growing cloud of sleep and it unleashed itself in one almighty storm.
She was once again standing in the corridor of the Department of Mysteries and went through exactly the same routine as in every dream. The voices were louder than ever but this time Ginny did not have the energy to try and open the door. She knew it would be locked so she simply leant against it thinking and listening. Soon her legs gave way and she slid to the floor in a heap and wept.
Why was this dream haunting her? Why can't she get in? Through her sobs she heard something. It made her stop abruptly. She wiped her eyes and sniffed loudly. She closed her eyes, heavy with lack of sleep and listened.
"Sirius, you can not give up! She will listen. I promise you," said a woman.
Sirius, it can't be! Ginny leapt up, regenerated by the sudden release of hope into her system.
"How can you be sure? This is the twelfth night. She has not once paused during any of her visions and actually listened and accepted what she has heard. Maybe I was wrong to think that she needs to be comforted. Maybe she is enjoying living a life of mourning?" said the gruff, distinguishable voice of Sirius.
It was first time Ginny had realised that it was Sirius on the other side of the door and she was unable to contain her joy. She suddenly realised what Sirius had said and it hit her hard, and she again fell to her knees but throughout she kept listening.
"Sirius you know that she cares for you dearly. You must tell her to move on," said the women, who Ginny no longer liked due to her attempting to stop Sirius from liking her. But Ginny had lost all sense of reality and thought that this was actually real.
"I know! You don't have to tell me. She has to realise that I am dead and will never come back," said Sirius, growing frustrated.
Ginny was not going to listen to this. This was not her Sirius. Certainly not, and once again she ran. Ran away from her problems. This way she did not have to face the truth from the man himself. Ran into the endless blackness of her dream. She ran so hard that when she woke up suddenly, her chest was heaving and her sheets were strewn across her bedroom.
She sat on her bed, holding her knees and rocking backwards and forwards. She was thinking, thinking hard about what had just happened and the more she thought about it the more she denied the fact that Sirius was dead.
She did not care whether she went to sleep or not. Not now her mind was engulfed with voices both when she was asleep and when awake. And not surprisingly she went back to her dreams due to utter exhaustion.
She was standing under a cherry tree, gazing up at the stars in the cloudless night sky. The summer wind blew against her rosy cheeks sending her ginger hair flying in all directions. The wind toppled the summer cherry blossom from the tree and it gently floated down, like miniature pink boats floating on a calm sea and landed on the sun-baked ground.
In front of her lay a vast lake, and the reflection in the rippling water made it look like the stars were dancing across the waves. All was calm and still, the sort of place where you could forget about everything. Exactly what Ginny wanted.
Then she felt something warm grip onto her shoulder and turning she saw Sirius standing over her. Tall and rugged as he had been when she first met him.
"Ginny, you at last listened to me. I was trying to tell you to move ." said Sirius quietly but before he could finish Ginny interrupted.
"Is it really you? Or is it my imagination?" Ginny questioned reaching up and putting her hand on his cheek.
Sirius clasped her hand in his hands and crouched down so he was at her height.
"Well it is me but this is a vision. I am dead, Ginny. You must accept that," said Sirius staring deep into her eyes.
Ginny looked back into his, they once again had the sparkle, and like the lake's cool water, the sparkles in his eyes danced and twirled. It took her several moments to reply, she did not want to lose his gaze.
"I know," she said shifting her gaze to the ground, "but." She could not tell Sirius how she felt he might laugh at her.
With that, an incredible breeze hit them, showering them both with blossom. This sudden gust of wind filled Ginny with self-confidence. This could be her last chance to tell him how she felt.
"Sirius," she paused, how could she put it? She had waited so long to tell him and now she could not work out what to say.
"Yes?" said Sirius, lowering his head even more so to get eye contact with Ginny.
"I really like you." She sighed, finally she had told him.
"I know," said Sirius, nodding.
"How?" questioned Ginny, surprised at his quick response.
"Well, you must have liked me as you have mourned my death for so long." said Sirius. " I never really thought that you classed me as a friend."
Friend! He did not understand obviously.
"Sirius, I really really like you!" She stood silently waiting for Sirius' response. Sirius simply straightened up and looked down at Ginny puzzled.
Suddenly a smile broke on his face, it was like a ray of sunshine for Ginny.
"I was never very good with girls and I have not really improved with time either." chuckled Sirius.
Ginny's eyes were filling with tears, he was laughing at her, and she was going to run again, as she turned Sirius yet again gripped her shoulder but this time tighter.
"I am sorry, Ginny. You are not a girl, you are a lady." Ginny spun around. " You obviously have taste." Ginny let out a weak smile.
"I am not being silly, I do really like you!" argued Ginny.
"Ginny I like you too, as a friend. I am twice your age, a convicted criminal and dead. Not really good boyfriend material. What would Ron say if he knew?" laughed Sirius.
He was laughing again but Ginny was not going to run, she liked this happy Sirius. This was the Sirius who she first met. She missed him.
"I miss you too," said Sirius.
"How did you .?" asked Ginny
"I am in your thoughts. I am with you all the time." interrupted Sirius.
"Like a guardian angel?" Ginny said with a sound of glee in her voice.
"Yes, although my physical state is not with you I am in your memories and as long as you remember me then I will be there to protect you." Ginny filled with joy and leapt forward, squeezing Sirius tightly.
Ginny did not know how long she was hugging Sirius for but when she let go she could see that the sky was turning red and the stars were disappearing.
"It is nearly dawn." Sirius broke the silence. "I must go soon but remember that I will always be with you." Sirius reached into his pocket and clasped in his hand was a blue rose. He handed it to Ginny. Ginny admired it.
"This is beautiful. Why have you given it too me?" Ginny questioned.
"Like a rose wilts so does everything reach an end, but as long as you remember the blossoming rose it will always be alive in your memory. Do you mourn every petal that falls from a flower? No." Tears were filling Ginny's eyes. He took her hands in his once again. "Even though my outer petals have been discarded, I am still a blossoming rose in your heart." He paused. "I must go. Take care Ginny and I will be there when you need me."
Ginny woke up in her bed. The sunlight was beaming through a hole in the curtain, blinding her. She got up and opened the curtains, flooding the room with light. She stared through the window, the sun was rising above the hills but in the distance a star was burning brightly, glowing in the red sky. She turned around and on her writing desk lay a blue rose, beside it was a small note.
"With all my love, Padfoot"
* I would just like to say that I found this really hard to write so I am not that cold-hearted Please could you review? : )
