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Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Not even the rights to the Shania Twain song at the end of this chapter.
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Epilogue
Three Weeks Later
"I was wondering when I'd ever get the chance to kiss you again," Kagura whispered as she wrapped her arms around Sesshomaru's neck. "I've just been so busy helping clean this mess up!"
"Same here," Sesshomaru answered as he captured her lips. She softly moaned at his passionate onslaught, and he pulled her tightly to him. "I love you," he murmured against her cheek.
"Are they going to be doing that all the time?" Rin's voice piped up.
"Probably," snorted Koga.
"Get a room," added Inu-Yasha.
"By virtue of the authority vested in me under the laws of the State of Hawaii, I now pronounce you husband and wife," Jinenji intoned. "The bride and groom may now kiss."
"Too late," Miroku pointed out to Jinenji. "They got a little bit ahead of you in the ceremony."
"Do we kill them now or later?" Kagura raised an eyebrow at her new husband.
"Later. Right now we need them to babysit Rin," Sesshomaru growled.
"Okay, everyone line up so we can get a picture of the wedding party," ordered the photographer, Hikaru Gusunkugi. "Let's have the ladies on the right, and the gentlemen on the left." He raised his camera; then lowered it again. "Um, Ranma, I said the gentlemen need to be on the left?"
"What?" snapped Ranma.
"Okay," Gusunkugi repeated, "how about this? All those wearing a dress stand on the right, all the rest of you stand on the left." Everyone shifted positions accordingly.
"You really do look sweet in that dress, Ranma," Kagome told him as the flash went off. "It was nice of you to stand in as one of the Bridesmaids since Kagura doesn't have many girlfriends. Aren't those shoes hurting your feet, though?"
"Nah," said Ranma. "A true martial artist can withstand all kinds of torture." He smiled as Gusunkugi rearranged the group and shot another picture. "Besides, I have to get used to it. Pop wants me to be the new cover model for Dainty Footprints."
"Toss the bouquet, Kagura!" Nazuna called out. Kagura complied, slinging the flowers over the crowd. A mad scramble to catch it ensued.
"I caught it! I caught it!" Xellos cried as he clutched the bouquet joyously to his chest.
"No fair!" Tsubasa complained. "First he wins the beauty pageant and gets the Golden Wunderbra, and now he gets the bouquet as well? I smell a set-up!"
"Don't be a poor sport," Kurama told him. "Besides, you know they awarded Xellos first prize because he threatened to read more limericks if they didn't." Kurama gave a shudder. "Talk about a weapon of mass destruction."
"So where's the Golden Wunderbra, Xellos?" Tsubasa asked cattily. "You don't appear to be using it right now!"
Xellos gave an evil grin. "I loaned it to a friend in dire need," he announced. He pointed towards Lina.
"Time to leave!" Sesshomaru announced. As a group, they quickly departed before Lina could start laying waste to the wedding party. As they ran away, they could hear Xellos' screams in the background.
********
"Have a safe trip back to Japan!" Kagome waved goodbye to Ranma and his fiancées. They and the rest of the crew from Nerima were boarding the plane to depart the islands. "And I'll come and visit P-chan sometime, okay Akane?"
"Stupid pig," muttered Inu-Yasha. Kagome stamped on his foot and he yelped.
"I can't believe you're so jealous of that pig!" Kagome hissed. "Hey, isn't that Yusuke and his crew? What are they doing boarding the plane?"
"They said something about an extended study of the demons plaguing the Nerima ward," Inu-Yasha replied. He tucked Kagome's arm in his and they walked to the airport entrance.
"You're limping," Kagome noticed. "Are your wounds bothering you? You've probably been up on your feet too much this week."
"Probably," agreed Inu-Yasha. "It's not every week your brother gets married, though. It was worth a little pain. And speaking of little pains, where's Rin?"
Kagome smacked his arm gently. "You adore her and you know it," she said softly. "Rin is with Koga and Yura. I thought maybe we could go get her and take her to the park or something later."
"Fine with me," Inu-Yasha said. They continued walking. "Hey, Kagome," Inu-Yasha broke the silence. "I was just wondering something."
"What?"
"I was wondering…if you think you could be happy with someone like me. I mean, you're free now. You're cleared of the jewel theft and you're not working for Naraku, so you don't have to stick around." Inu-Yasha swallowed nervously. "I don't have a lot to offer…"
"That's for certain," Kagome said. "You're grumpy, hot-tempered, you cut out of work all the time so you can hit the surf, you don't own a pair of shoes – in fact, I can only think of one thing that keeps me here."
"What's that?" Inu-Yasha asked her.
"I think grouchy beach bums are totally hot," Kagome grinned as she hugged him.
********
"What are you trying to do, Miroku?" Sango asked, looking over his shoulder.
"I'm trying to type up some copy for Kaede." Miroku ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. "How can I write any of this? She'll never believe it! In fact, she'll probably tell me to enter a substance abuse recovery program."
"I know what you mean," Sango said sympathetically. "If I hadn't been here to witness it myself, I wouldn't believe it." She reached down and scratched the ears of the sleeping Kirara, who had draped herself across Miroku's feet.
Miroku closed his laptop and turned in his chair, dislodging Kirara in the process. He gave Sango a searching look. "I have to fly back home tomorrow," he told her. "Am I going to see you again?"
Sango chewed her lower lip nervously. "Do you want to see me again?" she asked him. "You don't seem the type to stay in one place very long."
"I've never had a good reason to stay before," Miroku told her.
"Well…since my cat seems to have taken a strange liking to your feet, I guess I'll have to see you again," Sango answered, looking at her boots. She felt a warm pair of arms circle her waist.
"Is it so hard to admit to someone that you care?" Miroku asked her gently. Sango nodded. "Let me make it a little easier, then. Sango," he drew her into his lap, "we're going to take this as it comes. You don't have to tell me you love me. You don't even have to tell me you like me. All I want is for you to be happy, Sango. And all I can promise is that I'll do my best to bring you happiness while we're together. Okay?"
"Okay," she whispered, cradling her head on his shoulder. "Miroku?" she asked a moment later. "You stopped groping me. What's wrong?"
"Mm? Oh, sorry," Miroku moved his hands. "Is that better?"
"Oh yes," Sango sighed. "That's much better."
********
"The fire's going out," Kagura said drowsily. "Better add something to it." When she received no answering response, she nudged her sleeping husband. "Sesshomaru. Get up and feed the fire."
"How can you even think about moving right now, woman?" Sesshomaru groaned, snuggling closer to her warm body. "Let the damn thing burn out. It's the middle of summer, for hell's sake."
"Oh, is somebody tired?" Kagura teased as she wriggled her back against him. "What's the matter, can't keep up with me? You're not turning into an old man already, are you? Eeep!" she squealed as Sesshomaru flipped her onto her back.
"Who's tired?" he asked her as he kissed the base of her throat.
Kagura pushed his hands away playfully. "Fire!" she giggled, pointing to the dying embers. "If you're that awake, you can get out of bed and take care of it!"
Sighing, Sesshomaru threw back the covers and left the bed. "Okay, let's put something on here that will take forever to burn…maybe this?" he held up a frilly nightgown. "The label says it's flame-retardant."
"What about your bras?" Kagura asked.
"They were the first things I burned. No, wait; the pantyhose were the first items. The bras followed right after that." Sesshomaru sorted through the pile of clothing and pulled out a pink dress. "Oh, gotta save this one. I already promised Rin she could have it."
"Where's the swimsuits?" Kagura asked lazily.
"I can't burn them, there's too much spandex and lycra in the damn things. I cut them into pieces instead." Sesshomaru added a few more items to the flames and then climbed back into bed. "Now my feet are cold," he complained.
Kagura shrieked. "Don't put them on me! Augh! They're like ice! Sesshomaru!"
"What is that you're humming?" Kagura asked a moment later.
Sesshomaru paused. "I didn't realize I was doing it," he smiled. Propping himself up on his elbows, he opened his mouth and sang. "The best part about being a wo-man…"
"Is the prerogative to have a little fun!" Kagura continued. "Oh-oh-oh, totally cra-zy,"
"Forget I'm a la-dy…"
"Sesshomaru?"
"Mmm?"
"Do you feel like a woman?"
"Nope," Sesshomaru breathed as he ran his hands over her soft body. "But you certainly do, Kagura. You certainly do…"
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Naraku was convicted of murder in the death of Kikyo and sentenced to life imprisonment. Shortly after his trial, his personality split. He now spends his days alone in a cell talking to his friend 'Onigumo' in the mirror.
Jakotsu plead guilty to charges of assault with a deadly weapon and was sent back to prison. Once there, he decided to dedicate himself to the lifelong pursuit of designing prison clothing that was both functional and fashionable. He has yet to succeed.
Kagura took over operation of the Hellsent Detective Agency. Realizing that there is no such thing as bad publicity; she retained the name and continues to refer to her detectives as 'Naraku's Angels'. The agency is now based in Honolulu, as Kagura refuses to set foot on another boat or airplane. Ever.
After losing his arm in a tragic manicuring accident, Sesshomaru left the FBI and is now a stay-at-home dad. This has quickly become a full-time job, as he and Kagura keep producing children year after year.
Kagome went to work for Inu-Yasha's company, rapidly gaining fame as the software developer for "Make It Fit", a computer program that helps design comfortable women's clothing – for men. In her spare time, she still conducts experiments trying to discover the elusive material that will make women's pantyhose indestructible.
Inu-Yasha eventually made a complete recovery from his wounds and returned to his company. He and Kagome regularly take time away from work so they can hit the beach, usually with one or more of Sesshomaru and Kagura's children in tow. Inu-Yasha still refuses to do the laundry by himself, however.
Sango returned home and obtained work as a bouncer for a trendy nightclub. She has found happiness as this job has great hours, pays good wages and tips, and allows her to vent her frustrations on the unsuspecting populace. The only lasting side effect of her trip to Hawaii is a tendency to turn pale when someone says "Hi Bob!" or mentions "bleach".
Miroku turned in his story covering the pageant and was promptly enrolled in a 12-step substance abuse program by his editor, Kaede. When not on assignment, he hangs out at the nightclub where Sango works and perfects his groping methods.
Realizing he totally sucked at being an FBI Agent, Koga left the service to become a forest ranger with the National Park System. He is currently supervising the reintroduction of wolves to the Rocky Mountains, giving him the chance to be detested by cattle ranchers and environmentalists alike. In spite of the daily (hourly) death threats, he enjoys his work.
And the authors:
Lavender Valentine went on to write more fanfiction with the hope that it will keep her so busy she won't have time to do any real work.
Sophie-chan left the room in order to watch the "Gilligan's Island" marathon on the Hallmark Channel, thereby rendering her unable to make some witty comment at the end of this fic.
