Author's Notes: Hi, Thrawn's Girl, I just wanted to let you know again, in public this time, how much I appreciate your reviews. It's really encouraging to know someone is enjoying "Fear." Sorry I'm a little late getting this chapter posted. I tried to update earlier, but my computer and ff.n didn't seem to like each other then. I'll update again on Wednesday.

Fear part 15

The pain was never-ending. It had been only half a day since Leia, Tera, and Elissa had died, but to Luke it already seemed as if this soul- wrenching agony had been going on forever. It was impossible to believe that only that morning the family had been together. They had been sorrowful over losing Tera as a padawan and concerned about the violence directed against them, but they had been determined to see the situation resolved and hopeful for the future.

Luke didn't want to imagine the future now. How could he go on without his twin, his closest friend? Leia and Han each owned pieces of his heart, and they had taken those pieces with them. He couldn't believe that his heart was still whole and healthy, beating a steady rhythm without even a pause at the emotional ruin. Surely there was just an empty hole in his chest now.

He had experienced similar pain before, when his aunt and uncle had died and later at Ben's loss as well, but he could see now that the anguish he'd experienced then had not been quite as intense. After Owen's and Beru's deaths, he had had a mission to inspire him and keep him going-to become a Jedi and bring down the Empire that caused such brutalities.

He'd grieved for Ben, too, but he hadn't known the older Jedi nearly as well, after all. And he had been involved in several life-threatening events during this time . He'd been able to participate wholeheartedly and eagerly in them because the thought of death was not frightening. He hadn't wanted to die, but if it had happened, then he could have been with his aunt and uncle again, and that would have been okay.

By the time things had settled down somewhat, after the victory at Yavin, he had already bonded with Leia, Han, and Chewbacca, and they had given him a reason to go on.

He supposed he had a mission now, too-to bring the killers to justice, and to rebuild the Jedi Order. Maybe one day that would be enough to give his life purpose again, but right now he didn't feel capable of capturing the bombers, the terrorists. And for once, founding the new Order just didn't seem that important.

Nothing seemed important without his family. The thought of endless days stretching out before him, days he would have to live through without Leia and Han, caused the constant agony to grow even sharper. Anakin squeezed his hand-he must have sensed that intense pang-and murmured, "I'm here, Luke. I'm here."

That much was true. His father had stayed at his side all day, through the long hours of the afternoon when grief hung so thick and heavy in the air that it almost seemed a palpable cloud around them. Keren and Gil had come back to the living area eventually and tried awkwardly to comfort them. A serving droid had brought supper, but none of them could eat.

Finally, Keren had suggested that maybe they should retire for the night. Without a word of protest at the early hour, Gil had walked over to his Jedi Masters and said softly, "I'm sorry." Anakin had closed his eyes against the sudden rush of tears and crushed Gil to his chest. "Thank you," he'd whispered.

Luke had simply stared at him with pain-dulled eyes. He hadn't responded to Keren either, when she came over to give him a hug. The padawans glanced anxiously at Anakin, as if asking him to reassure them that Luke would be all right. But all Anakin could do was lay his arm around Luke's shoulders and say, "I think we'll go get some rest, too." He'd guided Luke towards the bedrooms and as they entered the nearest one, Luke had suddenly reached for his father's arm, gripping it tightly as if he would never let go.

//I'm not leaving you alone.// Anakin had sent to him across their link. //I'll sit with you til you fall asleep, and then I'll lie down on the sofa.// He'd gestured toward a couch by the far wall. //Okay?// Luke had nodded and laid down while Anakin had pulled a chair over beside the bed and then reached to hold his son's hand.

Now Anakin moved to take Luke in his arms. //You're not alone, son.// He reminded him. //I'm not a substitute for Leia and Han, but I love you. And I'll be here for you.//

//It should have been me.//

Luke's anguished thought burned into Anakin's mind with the intensity of a lightsaber. He could only hold Luke closer still and shake his head in denial.

//Don't say that! It's not true. What happened was terrible, but it's not your fault. It's Ignatia Kane's fault! Hers, and that lunatic bunch of terrorists she leads.// Anakin could feel anger-fierce, consuming anger- threatening to rise within him, and he took a deep breath and made himself release it into the Force. He could nevermore let that rage, even if it was justified, control him. He would not turn down that path again. Especially when Luke needed him so.

He caressed through his son's hair and spoke to him again, more calmly. //Leia wouldn't want you to blame yourself, Luke. You know she wouldn't. It would break her heart to see you like this. She would want you to remember the good times the two of you shared, and she would want you to go on. She would want you to keep on rebuilding the Jedi and helping to make the New Republic strong. And she would want the rest of us to be there for each other, to help one another through this.//

Luke shuddered and for a moment, Anakin thought he would break down and cry. He hoped he would. Luke hadn't cried at all, hadn't shouted or else raged, just retreated into his own private world of pain and guilt. And keeping such suffering to himself couldn't be good for him.

But Luke didn't cry. He continued to shake, but remained silent. Anakin held him and sent soothing reassurances to him through the Force until finally Luke dozed off, overcome with exhaustion.

After a time, it occurred to Anakin that perhaps he ought to check on Han. Part of him was upset with his son-in-law, former son-in-law he realized with a fresh burst of grief, for hurting Luke, but when he remembered how he had felt after Padme's death, he understood the total despair, the helpless rage that made Han need to lash out at someone.

The Corellian had been a good friend to him in the months since his redemption. Han had forgiven him for the brutal treatment that he'd subjected him to at Bespin and for the six months of life that had been stolen when he'd been encased in carbonite. It still awed Anakin that Han had accepted him after all that.

Yes, he owed it to Han to try to help him now. And it was what Leia would want him to do, he knew. But he didn't think he could bear to leave Luke alone, either. Anakin reached into his pocket for his comlink and signaled the droids.

"You need us, Master Anakin?" Threepio asked, still sounding subdued, as the two droids entered.

"I need to check on Han and see if I can do anything for him, but I don't want to leave Luke alone," Anakin explained. "Can you two stay here with him for a little while?"

As Artoo beeped affirmatively and Threepio said, "Yes, of course," Anakin used the Force to send Luke into an even deeper sleep. Then he gently settled Luke back onto the pillows and tucked the blanket around his shoulders. He rested his hand lightly on his son's head for a moment before standing and saying, "If he wakes up or shows any sign of distress, call me at once." Although he would probably sense Luke's pain through the Force before they could contact him, it made him feel a bit better to know that the droids would be keeping watch over his son.

"Yes, of course," Threepio repeated and Artoo protectively rolled close to the bed. It wasn't easy to let his only child out of his sight, but Anakin felt that going to Han was the right thing for him to do now. After all, the Corellian had to be hurting worse than anyone and since Anakin knew what it was like to suffer the loss of a young wife, he thought that perhaps he could offer comfort. And they needed to be there for one another. They couldn't let this tragedy destroy the family.

Anakin left the suite and reached out with the Force to locate Han. Taking a turbolift to the lowest level, he entered the main hangar and wasn't the least bit surprised to see the Millenium Falcon there. Han must have had the NRI agents take him out to the lake country after leaving Otoh Gunga. Like Anakin, he had a tendency to turn to the complexities of machinery when life was overwhelming and the familiarity of his beloved Falcon would also be a comfort.

He could hear Han yelling as soon as the turbolift door opened, and he could see both the Corellian and Chewbacca standing by the Falcon's lowered ramp. When Han caught sight of Anakin coming towards them, he spun on his heel and stalked inside his ship. Undaunted, the older Jedi approached Chewbacca and said softly, "How is he, Chewie?"

The Wookiee growled sorrowfully and shook his head.

"I know Han's not himself right now," Anakin told Chewbacca quietly. "I'm glad you were able to be with him today. I couldn't leave Luke, but he doesn't need to be alone either."

Chewbacca gave an inquisitive bark.

"No, Luke's not doing well. He's hardly spoken this afternoon. He's just withdrawn into himself. But I can feel how much he's suffering," Anakin ran a hand through his hair. "I want to be strong for him, but it's so hard-"

Suddenly there was a lump as hard as a rock in Anakin's throat, and tears blurred his vision. He'd tried to concentrate on comforting Luke that afternoon, to push his own pain to the back of his mind. Now he couldn't hold the grief back any longer. He'd lost his daughter. His beautiful daughter who had reminded him so much of himself, except that she had been stronger, kinder, wiser than he'd ever been.

And they'd lost Tera and Elissa, too. Two lovely, talented girls, filled with promise, just beginning their lives. Truly, the New Republic had suffered a great loss that day.

Anakin bowed his head and turned away, racked with sobs. Two powerful, hairy arms spun him around and pulled him into a bone-crushing embrace. The Wookiee and the Jedi stood weeping together for a long time.

Finally, Anakin reached for a handkerchief and dried his eyes. He wasn't able to speak yet, but he gripped Chewbacca's hand, trying to convey his gratitude. The Wookiee laid his other hand on top of Anakin's and growled sympathetically.

"Thank you," Anakin cleared his throat. "I needed that. I've been trying to comfort Luke, and reassure Keren and Gil, and the whole time I've just wanted to break down and cry myself. That or go into a rage and tear the place apart. Don't worry, though," he added swiftly, "I'm not going to turn back to the dark side again. I have learned my lesson there."

The Wookiee nodded and growled again.

"Yes, you're right. We have to be there for each other. That's why I came down here tonight, to let Han know that we're still a family. I better go speak with him. I'll need to go back to Luke soon," And Anakin walked up the Falcon's ramp.

He found Han sitting in the pilot's chair, staring unseeingly out the window.

"Did you come to chew me out for blaming the kid for this?" Han demanded as Anakin entered the cockpit.

"No, I didn't," the older Jedi replied evenly, "I wish you would reconsider your feelings, though. It wasn't Luke's fault, and you have no idea how much he's suffering."

"He's suffering?!" Han brought his fist down on the control panel. "What about Leia? What about-" Abruptly he broke off.

"I know you're hurting," Anakin came to sit beside him in the copilot's seat. "Believe me, I know exactly how you feel."

As Han made an angry sound of denial, Anakin leaned forward and said gently, "I do, Han. I've been where you are now. I lost my Padme, and I know how much it hurts. I didn't mean to downplay your pain. I'm sorry if that's what it sounded like. It's just that I can't bear to see our family fall apart. We need each other, more than ever. You and Luke need each other. I mean, the two of you are the ones who loved Leia the most, the ones who knew her best. You can't let this destroy your friendship. Leia would hate that."

When Han didn't respond, Anakin placed his hand on Han's shoulder and said, "But what I really came to tell you was that if you need someone to talk with, besides Chewbacca, that is, you can come to me. I love Luke, of course, but I also care for you. I was very proud and happy when you became my son-in-law. Leia couldn't have chosen a better husband."

Han buried his face in his hands, and Anakin reached to hold him as Chewbacca had held him earlier. For a time, the only sound was Han's harsh sobs. When he finally grew quiet again, Anakin said gently, "We're still a family. We have to stick together."

Han didn't move or say anything, and Anakin slowly stood up. "I need to get back to Luke. Please, Han, think about what I've said."

In the doorway, he paused and added, "If it's any consolation, I don't think Leia, or the padawans, suffered. It happened so quickly. We're the ones suffering. Let's try to be a comfort to each other and not hurt each other any worse."

In the hangar again, he told Chewbacca, "Perhaps you better go to him now, Chewie."

The Wookiee nodded and then gave Anakin an order.

"Yes, I will make sure Luke knows that you don't blame him. Maybe that will help. I just hope Han will see it, too."

The two of them gripped one another's hands again in comfort and support, and then Chewbacca headed up the ramp to check on his closest friend and Anakin went back to sit at son's side for the rest of the long, miserable night. He didn't know how they were going to get through the next days and weeks, but he knew he would have to be a rock for Luke to lean on.

TBC