Author's Notes: Thanks, Thrawn's Girl, for the great reviews. Yeah, I did
realize when I said which days I would post on, that the timing could be a
little off since the Internet is a global community. Hopefully, you can
get a general idea, though. Hope you enjoy the chapter, it's another tear-
jerker, but it does end on an upbeat note. I'll post again on Sunday
(that's Eastern Standard Time, US, for me).
Fear Part 17
Anakin spent most of the day making preparations. At lunch he explained to Keren and Gil that he and Luke were going to have to go to Coruscant to speak with the Senate.
"Oh, Master Anakin, you really have to leave now?" Keren asked in dismay.
"I don't want you to go," Gil exclaimed.
"I'm not thrilled at the idea myself," Anakin admitted. "But I can see the dilemma Mon Mothma is in, and I think I need to honor her request."
Keren slowly nodded and glanced at Luke. He was quiet, but he was eating a little bit of his sandwich under his father's watchful eye. She understood that he would need to go with Anakin-he didn't seem to be in any condition to be left alone-but she did wonder what would happen to her and Gil without their Jedi Masters to protect them.
Gil must have been thinking along the same lines. "What about us? Are we going, too?"
"Not this time," Anakin told them. "I thought about bringing you and Keren with us, but for a variety of reasons, I decided it would be better for the two of you to stay here. Keren, you'll stay with your parents, and Gil, the Shaflizes want you to come stay with them at their home here. You'll both have round the clock bodyguards. I've already spoken with General Madine and he's promised to have his best agents protect you."
"But why can't we come?" Gil demanded, his lower lip beginning to poke out.
Anakin looked at the boy's sullen expression, and reminded himself that Gil was very young, he'd witnessed several traumatic incidences the last couple of days, and it was perfectly natural that he'd be upset at the news that his guardians were traveling off-planet. It didn't change the fact that he could feel his patience wearing thin. He had enough to deal with right now- the terrible pain of losing a loved one, caring for his son, worrying about the search for the bombers, and planning for this trip that he didn't even want to take.
"Because the NRI agents can devote their full attention to protecting you," he struggled to keep his impatience out of his voice. "I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to do that right now, Gil. I want to, but I've got to meet with the Senate on Coruscant. I've got to concentrate on this case once I get back here, and I'm grieving for my daughter, and for Elissa and Tera. I'm afraid I might not be as attentive as I need to be to make absolutely certain that the two of you are safe."
He didn't say it aloud, but he knew he would also have his hands full watching over Luke. His son was barely able to function right now, and he needed lots of love and attention. Anakin was going to have to concentrate on caring for him, and he was afraid he'd be spreading himself too thin if Keren and Gil were along, too.
"It will just be best if you remain on Naboo this time," he quietly told them. Seeing that Gil still looked unhappy, he tried to placate him. "I thought you enjoyed visiting the Shaflizes, Gil. You can play with Wrennet, and even study your schoolwork with her. Mr. Shafliz told me that they're keeping Wrennet home from school until the bombers are caught, and she's very bored and anxious to see her friends. She's thrilled that you're coming to visit."
Gil seemed to cheer up slightly at the mention of his friend. "Well, maybe it'll be okay, I guess." He turned to Anakin, the sulkiness gone, replaced with worry. "But I'm afraid something will happen while you're gone. Or maybe something will happen to you."
Anakin held out an arm to him. "Come here, padawan." When Gil came to him, he wrapped his arms around the boy and hugged him. "You'll be fine, Gil. Your safety is one of my main considerations. I explained why I think the NRI agents can do a better job of protecting you and Keren now. If I had doubts about their abilities, I would bring you with us. But they are very skilled and they won't let you out of their sight. You and Keren will be safe. And Luke and I both have lots of experience in looking after ourselves. We'll be very careful, and we'll be back soon. I promise."
Gil took a deep breath and stepped back to look into Anakin's eyes. "All right, Master Anakin."
Anakin smiled at him, though his eyes remained sad. "Good. We have a few hours before we need to get ready for the memorial service this evening. Why don't you try to relax? Watch the 'net or something."
Gil nodded and skipped over to settle down on the sofa in front of the holonet. Anakin turned to Keren. "Is this all right with you?"
She nodded. "Yes, I understand. And I would like to see my parents again." Although she didn't say so, Keren was actually rather relieved that Anakin didn't expect them to go to Coruscant. She knew she was a very different person than the terrified girl she'd been a few weeks ago, but the thought of Coruscant was overwhelming. She was still a little nervous about traveling around Theed, and Coruscant was inestimably larger. She would definitely prefer to stay with her parents instead. She worried about the bombers being on the loose, but if Anakin had such confidence in their bodyguards, she supposed they would be safe. She hoped so.
"I'm going to watch the 'net with Gil for a while, I suppose," she stood up from the table, and then said rather hesitantly. "Master Anakin, what should we wear tonight? For the memorial? I'm sorry, but I've never been to one, and if I need a nice dress or something, then I'll have to call my mother and have her send one."
"Your Jedi clothes are acceptable for formal occasions," Anakin told her. "especially if you wear your cloak over them. Although if you want to have your mother send something else, that will be fine."
"No, that's all right," she replied. "I just didn't know, and I wanted to be dressed appropriately."
She wandered over to sit beside Gil on the sofa, leaving father and son alone at the table together. Anakin glanced at Luke's plate to see if he'd eaten his sandwich. He'd eaten over half of it, which Anakin decided was enough for now, and the older Jedi was about to gather their plates up-no reason why Threepio should have to do all the cleaning-when Luke spoke in a hoarse voice, "Will Han be there?"
"Yes, I called him this morning to tell him about the service and our trip, and he said he and Chewbacca would be there," Anakin studied Luke in concern, and then added reassuringly. "It will be all right, son. Just give Han some time. He'll come to see that it's not your fault."
Luke didn't say anything else, but he almost seemed to hunch down and become smaller. Anakin reached over to take his son's hands in his own. "It's not your fault, you know. I promise you that. And if seeing Han upsets you, then we won't go." That would seem odd, he realized, since the whole memorial service had been his idea, but Luke was his top priority now and if Luke didn't feel up to it, then they would just have to miss it.
But Luke shook his head. "No, we need to be there," he said flatly.
Anakin gently squeezed his fingers. "I'll be with you. It'll be all right." He could only hope he was right.
That evening, as the sun was setting, a somber group gathered in one of the palace's upper rooms. It was a small, circular room with several windows, left open to allow the last bits of lingering daylight inside. The only other light came from torches set in the wall, and from three white candles atop tall golden stands set in the front of the room.
Anakin, Luke, and the padawans were the first to arrive, with the droids following. Keren and Gil wore cream-colored tunics and pants, and their dark brown robes. Luke was dressed all in black. Looking at him reminded Anakin of the day when he and his son had battled for each other's souls above the moon of Endor. It was rather discomfitting, at a time when he was already tense, but Luke had wanted to wear dark colors to show his mourning and Anakin could understand that. He could not bring himself to wear black again, even if he was grieving his daughter and students. Instead he wore a light gray shirt, dark gray pants, and a cloak the color of charcoal.
They paused in the doorway for an instant, then Anakin led them to a bench near the front of the room. Keren and Gil seated themselves. Threepio and Artoo went to stand by the wall. Anakin turned to motion Luke next to him when he suddenly realized that his son had not followed. He looked back to the doorway, and saw that Chewbacca and Han had entered and Luke was was standing frozen a few feet away from them.
Chewbacca barked softly and immediately gathered the young Jedi in his arms and held him to his chest. Luke returned the embrace and then Wookiee and Jedi stepped apart. Chewbacca rested his large hands on Luke's shoulders and looked back at Han. As the Corellian slowly approached, Chewie squeezed Luke's shoulders and moved aside.
Han and Luke studied each other in silence. The last two days had taken a heavy toll on both of them. Luke's dark clothes emphasized his thinness and pallor, and Han didn't look any better. The navy and gold New Republic uniform he wore was crisp, and he was clean-shaven, but his eyes were filled with pain, and there were deep circles under them.
For a long moment, it seemed as if the two would never speak. Then Luke whispered, "Forgive me," and Han's face twisted with emotion that he tried in vain to hide.
He threw his arms around Luke. "No, forgive me, kid."
Luke remained motionless for an instant. Then he clung to his friend, and for the first time since the deaths, he began sobbing. Han patted his back and said, "I'm sorry, Luke. I shouldn't have blamed you. I know that now. I think I knew it then, too, but I was just-" a sob rose in his own throat, choking off the rest of his words. He struggled to hold back tears, but they wouldn't be denied. He broke down crying as well.
They held each other, wordlessly offering comfort and trying to express their remorse, forgiveness, and friendship. After a while Anakin went to them and wrapped his arms around both Luke and Han, tears coursing down his own face. "My boys, both my boys," he whispered. And then Chewie was hugging them, too. It was a timeless moment, filled with sorrow and loss, and yet also with love.
Finally they drew apart, and slowly made their way towards the benches near the candles. Anakin, Luke, and Han took the first one, with Luke between his father and closest friend, while Keren and Gil moved to sit behind them with Chewbacca.
They recited a brief prayer, then one by one went to kneel in front of the candles, recalling memories and silently speaking to the ones who were lost.
Anakin's thoughts went first to the padawans. He was afraid if he dwelled on Leia first, he would be too broken up to continue. /Tera, Elissa, I'm sorry. I feel that I failed you. I was supposed to keep you safe and I didn't. I pray that you are in a better place now. You will be missed./
He swallowed hard as images of his daughter welled up in his mind. /Leia, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for the years that were wasted because of my stupidity. I'm sorry for every hurtful thing that happened between us. I wish with all my heart that I had been a true father for you. But I want you to know how thankful I am for the short time we did have. I'm so grateful that you forgave me and allowed me to be your father for these last few months. I always thought how much we were alike, but you were always better than I ever was. So strong and wise and compassionate. You're a lot like your mother, too. If I can be glad of anything, it's that I'm sure she's with you. And your grandmother, too. Watch over us. You're our angels now. More than ever./
He glanced over to see Luke and Han kneeling beside him, with Chewbacca a short distance away. Their eyes were closed, and tears were running down Luke's cheeks.
Luke wasn't sure what to say to Leia and the padawans. He didn't feel the least bit coherent. His thoughts were jumbled and memories rushed through his mind in no particular order-Leia, Tera, and Elissa climbing into the gungan sub, seeing the holograph of his sister for the first time in the garage on Tatooine, teaching Tera and Elissa the ways of the Force, Leia's tear-streaked face and anxious eyes as they spoke at night in the Ewok village, Leia laughing with rare abandon as they all threw snowballs at each other on Hoth. Finally he just sent /I love you. I miss you. I wish we were all together again./
Han, too, had trouble organizing his thoughts. Not only was he besieged by memories, but also the dreams for the future he would never have crowded into his mind. He had looked forward to years together with Leia. Perhaps they would have had children, and grandchildren one day. He could almost see them, but they remained blurry and featureless, the family he would never have now. And even if they hadn't had children, he and Leia should have had years together, years of laughter, adventure, companionship, and love, seasoned with the occasional argument that they could enjoy all the more knowing that they were secure in their love for each other. Those years would never be. They had been replaced with a darker, sadder future. Han squeezed his eyes shut against the thought. /Sweetheart, it wasn't supposed to end like this. What am I gonna do without you?/
Keren, Gil, Chewbacca, and the droids all took turns kneeling at the candles, too, and then finally they wordlessly stood and exited the room. Out in the hall, a couple of Palace workers entered to extinguish the lights, and draw the window shades for the night, and the king himself waited to escort them down to the hangar where the Naboo Angel was ready for take-off.
"You guys really need to go now? So soon?" Han asked as they rode down in a turbo lift.
Anakin nodded. "Yes, I think we do. After all, the sooner we get to Coruscant and I can speak with the Senate, the sooner we can come back." He turned to the younger man. "You're welcome to come with us if you want. Chewbacca, too."
The Wookiee waited for Han to answer. The Corellian looked torn for a moment, but then he shook his head. "No, Chewie and I better stay here and make sure these NRI agents are doing their job. You'll be back soon, anyway, won't you?"
"Within a couple of weeks, I hope," Anakin replied. It would take several days of hyperspace travel to reach Coruscant, and he hoped to get everything cleared up with the Senate in a day or two. Allowing time for the return trip, eight to ten days was probably the shortest estimate before their return.
As the lift doors opened, King Tripday spoke up, "Masters Skywalker, General Solo, let me tell you again how sorry I am for your loss, and that if there's anything I can do to help, you only have to let me know."
Anakin inclined his head. "Thank you, Your Majesty. We will not forget your kindness. I don't know what we would have done the last couple of days without your support."
King Tripday bowed his head in return and wished them a good trip. Then as the Jedi, Han, and Chewbacca stepped out into the hangar, he closed the lift doors and was gone.
Slowly the family walked to the Angel and paused at the lowered ramp. Several NRI agents came to meet them.
"Your ship has been thoroughly checked out, sirs, and she's clean and ready to board," one of them told Anakin and Luke.
"Thank you," Anakin nodded a dismissal and the agents retreated to join their comrades at various points around the hangar. There were at least two dozen stationed here, and more were waiting to escort Keren and Gil to their sanctuaries.
Anakin hugged the padawans and said, "We'll be back as soon as we can. Stay with your bodyguards and you'll be safe." They nodded and hugged him back, and then embraced Luke as well.
"Don't worry," Han said, "Chewie and I'll make sure they get to the Mirets and the Shaflizes safely."
"Thank you," Anakin told him. He and Han clapped each other on the back and then Chewbacca flung his strong arms around both Jedi and howled farewell.
Threepio and Artoo ascended the ramp, and Anakin followed partway before pausing as he realized that Luke was still saying good-bye to Han. The two friends gazed at each other before once again embracing and holding onto one another tightly.
"I'm sorry," Han choked, but Luke shook his head.
"No," he whispered. "I'm sorry. It was my fault. I shouldn't have asked her to go. I didn't pay attention to-"
"Hey, kid, stop," Han held him firmly by the shoulders and gave him a shake. "It's not your fault. I never should have said that, and I'd give up the Falcon if I could take it back. None of us knew they would be in danger, and Leia wanted to go. She wanted to talk with the gungans about someone representing them on Coruscant, remember? So don't blame yourself, Luke. I didn't mean it. I just was outta my head for a while, but it's not your fault. Okay?"
Luke hesitated, then nodded just a little.
Han studied him closely. "I mean it, Luke. I don't want you leaving here blaming yourself for any of this mess." He swallowed hard and added softly, "Your dad was right. We've got to help each other through this, and not hurt each other. I couldn't bear to lose my kid brother, too."
Luke's eyes filled with tears and Han pulled him close into a bear hug again. Luke wept quietly on his shoulder for a few minutes, then finally moved away and went to join his father on the Angel's ramp. Anakin laid an arm around his son's shoulders and gave Han a grateful look. He had a feeling that reconciling with his 'brother' would do Luke more good than anything he himself could have said or done.
"Take care," he called to Han, Chewbacca, and the padawans.
Keren and Gil waved, Chewie barked, and Han raised his arm. "May the Force be with you."
Then Anakin and Luke were inside, and a few minutes later the Angel flew out of the hangar and headed for space. Han turned to the padawans, and cleared his throat. "Well, are you two ready to go?"
And though Han and Chewbacca weren't aware of it, Keren and Gil were too inexperienced, and the two Jedi who could have sensed it were entering hyperspace, Force ripples caused by the intense emotions of the evening's events spread out through Theed, through the nearby forests, and through the waters of Lake Paonga, where a badly damaged, but still intact gungan sub lay miles deep on the lake bed.
TBC
Fear Part 17
Anakin spent most of the day making preparations. At lunch he explained to Keren and Gil that he and Luke were going to have to go to Coruscant to speak with the Senate.
"Oh, Master Anakin, you really have to leave now?" Keren asked in dismay.
"I don't want you to go," Gil exclaimed.
"I'm not thrilled at the idea myself," Anakin admitted. "But I can see the dilemma Mon Mothma is in, and I think I need to honor her request."
Keren slowly nodded and glanced at Luke. He was quiet, but he was eating a little bit of his sandwich under his father's watchful eye. She understood that he would need to go with Anakin-he didn't seem to be in any condition to be left alone-but she did wonder what would happen to her and Gil without their Jedi Masters to protect them.
Gil must have been thinking along the same lines. "What about us? Are we going, too?"
"Not this time," Anakin told them. "I thought about bringing you and Keren with us, but for a variety of reasons, I decided it would be better for the two of you to stay here. Keren, you'll stay with your parents, and Gil, the Shaflizes want you to come stay with them at their home here. You'll both have round the clock bodyguards. I've already spoken with General Madine and he's promised to have his best agents protect you."
"But why can't we come?" Gil demanded, his lower lip beginning to poke out.
Anakin looked at the boy's sullen expression, and reminded himself that Gil was very young, he'd witnessed several traumatic incidences the last couple of days, and it was perfectly natural that he'd be upset at the news that his guardians were traveling off-planet. It didn't change the fact that he could feel his patience wearing thin. He had enough to deal with right now- the terrible pain of losing a loved one, caring for his son, worrying about the search for the bombers, and planning for this trip that he didn't even want to take.
"Because the NRI agents can devote their full attention to protecting you," he struggled to keep his impatience out of his voice. "I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to do that right now, Gil. I want to, but I've got to meet with the Senate on Coruscant. I've got to concentrate on this case once I get back here, and I'm grieving for my daughter, and for Elissa and Tera. I'm afraid I might not be as attentive as I need to be to make absolutely certain that the two of you are safe."
He didn't say it aloud, but he knew he would also have his hands full watching over Luke. His son was barely able to function right now, and he needed lots of love and attention. Anakin was going to have to concentrate on caring for him, and he was afraid he'd be spreading himself too thin if Keren and Gil were along, too.
"It will just be best if you remain on Naboo this time," he quietly told them. Seeing that Gil still looked unhappy, he tried to placate him. "I thought you enjoyed visiting the Shaflizes, Gil. You can play with Wrennet, and even study your schoolwork with her. Mr. Shafliz told me that they're keeping Wrennet home from school until the bombers are caught, and she's very bored and anxious to see her friends. She's thrilled that you're coming to visit."
Gil seemed to cheer up slightly at the mention of his friend. "Well, maybe it'll be okay, I guess." He turned to Anakin, the sulkiness gone, replaced with worry. "But I'm afraid something will happen while you're gone. Or maybe something will happen to you."
Anakin held out an arm to him. "Come here, padawan." When Gil came to him, he wrapped his arms around the boy and hugged him. "You'll be fine, Gil. Your safety is one of my main considerations. I explained why I think the NRI agents can do a better job of protecting you and Keren now. If I had doubts about their abilities, I would bring you with us. But they are very skilled and they won't let you out of their sight. You and Keren will be safe. And Luke and I both have lots of experience in looking after ourselves. We'll be very careful, and we'll be back soon. I promise."
Gil took a deep breath and stepped back to look into Anakin's eyes. "All right, Master Anakin."
Anakin smiled at him, though his eyes remained sad. "Good. We have a few hours before we need to get ready for the memorial service this evening. Why don't you try to relax? Watch the 'net or something."
Gil nodded and skipped over to settle down on the sofa in front of the holonet. Anakin turned to Keren. "Is this all right with you?"
She nodded. "Yes, I understand. And I would like to see my parents again." Although she didn't say so, Keren was actually rather relieved that Anakin didn't expect them to go to Coruscant. She knew she was a very different person than the terrified girl she'd been a few weeks ago, but the thought of Coruscant was overwhelming. She was still a little nervous about traveling around Theed, and Coruscant was inestimably larger. She would definitely prefer to stay with her parents instead. She worried about the bombers being on the loose, but if Anakin had such confidence in their bodyguards, she supposed they would be safe. She hoped so.
"I'm going to watch the 'net with Gil for a while, I suppose," she stood up from the table, and then said rather hesitantly. "Master Anakin, what should we wear tonight? For the memorial? I'm sorry, but I've never been to one, and if I need a nice dress or something, then I'll have to call my mother and have her send one."
"Your Jedi clothes are acceptable for formal occasions," Anakin told her. "especially if you wear your cloak over them. Although if you want to have your mother send something else, that will be fine."
"No, that's all right," she replied. "I just didn't know, and I wanted to be dressed appropriately."
She wandered over to sit beside Gil on the sofa, leaving father and son alone at the table together. Anakin glanced at Luke's plate to see if he'd eaten his sandwich. He'd eaten over half of it, which Anakin decided was enough for now, and the older Jedi was about to gather their plates up-no reason why Threepio should have to do all the cleaning-when Luke spoke in a hoarse voice, "Will Han be there?"
"Yes, I called him this morning to tell him about the service and our trip, and he said he and Chewbacca would be there," Anakin studied Luke in concern, and then added reassuringly. "It will be all right, son. Just give Han some time. He'll come to see that it's not your fault."
Luke didn't say anything else, but he almost seemed to hunch down and become smaller. Anakin reached over to take his son's hands in his own. "It's not your fault, you know. I promise you that. And if seeing Han upsets you, then we won't go." That would seem odd, he realized, since the whole memorial service had been his idea, but Luke was his top priority now and if Luke didn't feel up to it, then they would just have to miss it.
But Luke shook his head. "No, we need to be there," he said flatly.
Anakin gently squeezed his fingers. "I'll be with you. It'll be all right." He could only hope he was right.
That evening, as the sun was setting, a somber group gathered in one of the palace's upper rooms. It was a small, circular room with several windows, left open to allow the last bits of lingering daylight inside. The only other light came from torches set in the wall, and from three white candles atop tall golden stands set in the front of the room.
Anakin, Luke, and the padawans were the first to arrive, with the droids following. Keren and Gil wore cream-colored tunics and pants, and their dark brown robes. Luke was dressed all in black. Looking at him reminded Anakin of the day when he and his son had battled for each other's souls above the moon of Endor. It was rather discomfitting, at a time when he was already tense, but Luke had wanted to wear dark colors to show his mourning and Anakin could understand that. He could not bring himself to wear black again, even if he was grieving his daughter and students. Instead he wore a light gray shirt, dark gray pants, and a cloak the color of charcoal.
They paused in the doorway for an instant, then Anakin led them to a bench near the front of the room. Keren and Gil seated themselves. Threepio and Artoo went to stand by the wall. Anakin turned to motion Luke next to him when he suddenly realized that his son had not followed. He looked back to the doorway, and saw that Chewbacca and Han had entered and Luke was was standing frozen a few feet away from them.
Chewbacca barked softly and immediately gathered the young Jedi in his arms and held him to his chest. Luke returned the embrace and then Wookiee and Jedi stepped apart. Chewbacca rested his large hands on Luke's shoulders and looked back at Han. As the Corellian slowly approached, Chewie squeezed Luke's shoulders and moved aside.
Han and Luke studied each other in silence. The last two days had taken a heavy toll on both of them. Luke's dark clothes emphasized his thinness and pallor, and Han didn't look any better. The navy and gold New Republic uniform he wore was crisp, and he was clean-shaven, but his eyes were filled with pain, and there were deep circles under them.
For a long moment, it seemed as if the two would never speak. Then Luke whispered, "Forgive me," and Han's face twisted with emotion that he tried in vain to hide.
He threw his arms around Luke. "No, forgive me, kid."
Luke remained motionless for an instant. Then he clung to his friend, and for the first time since the deaths, he began sobbing. Han patted his back and said, "I'm sorry, Luke. I shouldn't have blamed you. I know that now. I think I knew it then, too, but I was just-" a sob rose in his own throat, choking off the rest of his words. He struggled to hold back tears, but they wouldn't be denied. He broke down crying as well.
They held each other, wordlessly offering comfort and trying to express their remorse, forgiveness, and friendship. After a while Anakin went to them and wrapped his arms around both Luke and Han, tears coursing down his own face. "My boys, both my boys," he whispered. And then Chewie was hugging them, too. It was a timeless moment, filled with sorrow and loss, and yet also with love.
Finally they drew apart, and slowly made their way towards the benches near the candles. Anakin, Luke, and Han took the first one, with Luke between his father and closest friend, while Keren and Gil moved to sit behind them with Chewbacca.
They recited a brief prayer, then one by one went to kneel in front of the candles, recalling memories and silently speaking to the ones who were lost.
Anakin's thoughts went first to the padawans. He was afraid if he dwelled on Leia first, he would be too broken up to continue. /Tera, Elissa, I'm sorry. I feel that I failed you. I was supposed to keep you safe and I didn't. I pray that you are in a better place now. You will be missed./
He swallowed hard as images of his daughter welled up in his mind. /Leia, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for the years that were wasted because of my stupidity. I'm sorry for every hurtful thing that happened between us. I wish with all my heart that I had been a true father for you. But I want you to know how thankful I am for the short time we did have. I'm so grateful that you forgave me and allowed me to be your father for these last few months. I always thought how much we were alike, but you were always better than I ever was. So strong and wise and compassionate. You're a lot like your mother, too. If I can be glad of anything, it's that I'm sure she's with you. And your grandmother, too. Watch over us. You're our angels now. More than ever./
He glanced over to see Luke and Han kneeling beside him, with Chewbacca a short distance away. Their eyes were closed, and tears were running down Luke's cheeks.
Luke wasn't sure what to say to Leia and the padawans. He didn't feel the least bit coherent. His thoughts were jumbled and memories rushed through his mind in no particular order-Leia, Tera, and Elissa climbing into the gungan sub, seeing the holograph of his sister for the first time in the garage on Tatooine, teaching Tera and Elissa the ways of the Force, Leia's tear-streaked face and anxious eyes as they spoke at night in the Ewok village, Leia laughing with rare abandon as they all threw snowballs at each other on Hoth. Finally he just sent /I love you. I miss you. I wish we were all together again./
Han, too, had trouble organizing his thoughts. Not only was he besieged by memories, but also the dreams for the future he would never have crowded into his mind. He had looked forward to years together with Leia. Perhaps they would have had children, and grandchildren one day. He could almost see them, but they remained blurry and featureless, the family he would never have now. And even if they hadn't had children, he and Leia should have had years together, years of laughter, adventure, companionship, and love, seasoned with the occasional argument that they could enjoy all the more knowing that they were secure in their love for each other. Those years would never be. They had been replaced with a darker, sadder future. Han squeezed his eyes shut against the thought. /Sweetheart, it wasn't supposed to end like this. What am I gonna do without you?/
Keren, Gil, Chewbacca, and the droids all took turns kneeling at the candles, too, and then finally they wordlessly stood and exited the room. Out in the hall, a couple of Palace workers entered to extinguish the lights, and draw the window shades for the night, and the king himself waited to escort them down to the hangar where the Naboo Angel was ready for take-off.
"You guys really need to go now? So soon?" Han asked as they rode down in a turbo lift.
Anakin nodded. "Yes, I think we do. After all, the sooner we get to Coruscant and I can speak with the Senate, the sooner we can come back." He turned to the younger man. "You're welcome to come with us if you want. Chewbacca, too."
The Wookiee waited for Han to answer. The Corellian looked torn for a moment, but then he shook his head. "No, Chewie and I better stay here and make sure these NRI agents are doing their job. You'll be back soon, anyway, won't you?"
"Within a couple of weeks, I hope," Anakin replied. It would take several days of hyperspace travel to reach Coruscant, and he hoped to get everything cleared up with the Senate in a day or two. Allowing time for the return trip, eight to ten days was probably the shortest estimate before their return.
As the lift doors opened, King Tripday spoke up, "Masters Skywalker, General Solo, let me tell you again how sorry I am for your loss, and that if there's anything I can do to help, you only have to let me know."
Anakin inclined his head. "Thank you, Your Majesty. We will not forget your kindness. I don't know what we would have done the last couple of days without your support."
King Tripday bowed his head in return and wished them a good trip. Then as the Jedi, Han, and Chewbacca stepped out into the hangar, he closed the lift doors and was gone.
Slowly the family walked to the Angel and paused at the lowered ramp. Several NRI agents came to meet them.
"Your ship has been thoroughly checked out, sirs, and she's clean and ready to board," one of them told Anakin and Luke.
"Thank you," Anakin nodded a dismissal and the agents retreated to join their comrades at various points around the hangar. There were at least two dozen stationed here, and more were waiting to escort Keren and Gil to their sanctuaries.
Anakin hugged the padawans and said, "We'll be back as soon as we can. Stay with your bodyguards and you'll be safe." They nodded and hugged him back, and then embraced Luke as well.
"Don't worry," Han said, "Chewie and I'll make sure they get to the Mirets and the Shaflizes safely."
"Thank you," Anakin told him. He and Han clapped each other on the back and then Chewbacca flung his strong arms around both Jedi and howled farewell.
Threepio and Artoo ascended the ramp, and Anakin followed partway before pausing as he realized that Luke was still saying good-bye to Han. The two friends gazed at each other before once again embracing and holding onto one another tightly.
"I'm sorry," Han choked, but Luke shook his head.
"No," he whispered. "I'm sorry. It was my fault. I shouldn't have asked her to go. I didn't pay attention to-"
"Hey, kid, stop," Han held him firmly by the shoulders and gave him a shake. "It's not your fault. I never should have said that, and I'd give up the Falcon if I could take it back. None of us knew they would be in danger, and Leia wanted to go. She wanted to talk with the gungans about someone representing them on Coruscant, remember? So don't blame yourself, Luke. I didn't mean it. I just was outta my head for a while, but it's not your fault. Okay?"
Luke hesitated, then nodded just a little.
Han studied him closely. "I mean it, Luke. I don't want you leaving here blaming yourself for any of this mess." He swallowed hard and added softly, "Your dad was right. We've got to help each other through this, and not hurt each other. I couldn't bear to lose my kid brother, too."
Luke's eyes filled with tears and Han pulled him close into a bear hug again. Luke wept quietly on his shoulder for a few minutes, then finally moved away and went to join his father on the Angel's ramp. Anakin laid an arm around his son's shoulders and gave Han a grateful look. He had a feeling that reconciling with his 'brother' would do Luke more good than anything he himself could have said or done.
"Take care," he called to Han, Chewbacca, and the padawans.
Keren and Gil waved, Chewie barked, and Han raised his arm. "May the Force be with you."
Then Anakin and Luke were inside, and a few minutes later the Angel flew out of the hangar and headed for space. Han turned to the padawans, and cleared his throat. "Well, are you two ready to go?"
And though Han and Chewbacca weren't aware of it, Keren and Gil were too inexperienced, and the two Jedi who could have sensed it were entering hyperspace, Force ripples caused by the intense emotions of the evening's events spread out through Theed, through the nearby forests, and through the waters of Lake Paonga, where a badly damaged, but still intact gungan sub lay miles deep on the lake bed.
TBC
