TITLE: The Lost Ones

AUTHOR: Cyn(di)

EMAIL: custardpringle@yahoo.com

RATING: PG-13 for weird evil happenings and general suffering/pain on the parts of all concerned. Also language, as always. And "thematic issues," which I now know means "angst out the wazoo."

CATEGORY: supernatural, drama

SUMMARY: Daniel is having terrible nightmares. And they're not only in his head . . .

SPOILERS: I'm too lazy to keep track, so let's say anything up through "Heroes Part 1." Specific scenes taken from "Children of the Gods," "Forever in a Day," and "Abyss."

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I want you to review this chapter. As a matter of fact, Daniel also wants you to review this chapter. And you wouldn't want to let him down, would you?

You'll see what I mean . . . *grins evilly*

-------------------------------------------------

"He's coming?" Jack looked around in confusion. "Who's coming? Satan? Paul Revere? The Grand High Poopah of the Known and Unknown Multiverse? Any ideas, anyone?"

No one said anything.

No one had to.

Jack realized the answer to his own question a second later. "Ah, shit . . . Anubis."

-----

Anubis was coming.

Daniel stood stock still in the midst of the near-tornado now whirling through what still looked somewhat like Sam's living room. Far from being calm, however, he was very close to panic for the second time in as many days. In a way, he almost hoped the Others would stop him again—at least then he would have some idea what to expect—but he also knew that that would be an easy way out. He had threatened Anubis before, claimed to be more powerful than him, and he would have to prove it sooner or later, whether it was true or not. You got yourself into this, Daniel told himself, and you're damn well going to get yourself out.

It was not a terribly comforting thought, but it strengthened his resolve, if only slightly.

And only just in time. In a bare instant, the roaring winds around him stilled to a deadly calm, were replaced by an echoing voice that seemed to swirl around Daniel just as the tempest had. *Your insolence has ceased to amuse me, Daniel Jackson.*

Daniel remained silent, waiting.

Anubis continued, seeming not to have expected a response to begin with. *I thought you were an intelligent man, Daniel.* He made the word "man" sound derisive, an insult—and to him, perhaps it was. *I thought the destruction of Abydos would be enough of a lesson to you not to meddle in what you do not understand. It would seem that I overestimated you.*

Still Daniel said nothing.

Despite his previous claim, Anubis sounded very amused indeed. *And even when I was generous enough to offer you your precious planet restored, you turned me down. I never thought even an Ancient could be that idiotic.*

"Apparently," Daniel said at last, "one can be."

This answer seemed to delight the Goa'ould no end. *You will not be able to escape that way, Daniel. You might be simple-minded enough to be taken in by waffling and weak diversion, but I am not.*

"I doubt I'm quite as weak as you think."

*You really believe that?* Anubis laughed softly. *If you are so strong, Daniel Jackson, where was your strength here, when it was needed?*

The familiar living room melted, changed, became something else wholly opposite. Daniel didn't recognize the room at first, but then he saw the grille in the opposite wall, recognized Jack trapped against it, gasping in pain as the artificial gravity sucked one jagged blade after another through his body.

It was only too easy after that to recognize this as Ba'al's fortress.

Daniel watched, as transfixed as his friend across the room, hearing Jack whisper his name, pleading for the guide he thought to have abandoned him.

Why did I leave? he chastised himself. Even for a couple hours . . . I should've stayed right here the whole time.

There was a chuckle from behind, and Daniel turned to see Anubis standing next to him, clad in a heavy robe as always. "You could have stopped this, Daniel. And yet you chose to watch him be tortured and die over and over again, rather than have to kill him yourself."

"Another solution was found," Daniel pointed out. "He was rescued."

"By pure chance. If that had not occurred, you would have simply stood by and watched until your friend's mind was entirely destroyed."

"I would never have done that." But he wasn't certain. There was that possibility nagging at him—always had, in fact—would he really have been that cowardly, had the rest of SG-1 not solved the problem when they did?

"You would have," Anubis assured him cheerfully. "You need have no doubts on that account."

"I don't think so," Daniel said determinedly, and shot a bolt of energy straight at Anubis' mask.

Anubis dodged the shot with an agility that was quite astounding considering the sheer weight of his robes, and returned a more powerful blast. Daniel twisted out of its path just in time, and managed to score a glancing blow along the way.

And so it went, a conflict of wits and wills as much as of power, while at the other end of the room an unheeding self-styled god continued to kill a tired victim who no longer cared.

-----

Sam's eyes snapped open, and she turned over onto her side only to be greeted by the sight of Daniel's prone form on the next bed over. The only sign that he was even alive, as far as she could tell, was the steady, comforting beep of the heart monitor. "What happened?" she asked aloud.

Janet looked up and hurried over. "Sorry, Sam, didn't see you were awake. How do you feel?"

"I feel fine," Sam said impatiently, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed and standing up before the doctor could stop her. Not even a wobble, she noted with relief. "What happened to Daniel?" she repeated urgently.

"Just what I was about to ask you," Jack returned. "We've been sitting here watching him not move for the past hour or so, and you've been the one adventuring around on a higher plane."

Sam walked over and stood across from him. "Actually haven't been doing much adventuring, sir; apparently I was just a bargaining chip. Daniel apparently told Aurel he'd tell her how to find Shifu if she freed me, but refused to actually honor the bargain once I was turned over. So apparently Anubis is not particularly happy, and I think he's decided to deal with Daniel personally."

"Yeah," Jack said sourly, "we kinda figured that last bit out on our own."

-----

Had Anubis been an ordinary, average Perius (if such adjectives could be applied to that species) Daniel could have killed him several times over by now. Unfortunately, he wasn't, and Daniel wasn't quite sure he even had the upper hand in this conflict.

It would've helped if he hadn't had a sneaking suspicion that he didn't even know what the conflict actually was.

Just as suddenly as Daniel had begun the brief battle, Anubis desisted, seeming barely even perturbed. Daniel could feel himself flickering slightly, but he stabilized himself as best he could. His opponent raised a nonexistent eyebrow. "I must admit, you are stronger—in battle, at least—than I expected, especially from one so recently and inconsistently Ascended."

"Just lucky, I guess," Daniel explained, trying feebly at a joke.

"Perhaps," Anubis responded, "But not always, I think." And the room shifted again—this time into a much bigger space which Daniel knew all too well. After all, it had been practically his second home for over a year.

But this time, the temple—normally a quiet, meditative place—had been thrown into absolute panic. Some people were wounded by staff blasts, others were tending to the injured, and many were simply panicking, terrified by the appearance of a threat they had been assured was gone forever.

Then another man walked in and froze, taking in the chaotic scene unfolding in front of him. Daniel caught the glint of glasses, then saw the SG team following, and his gut clenched even as the other man ran in, his eyes desperately sweeping the room. "Don't bother," he muttered bitterly. "She's gone. Save your breath." But it was no use, and in the end Daniel simply watched Daniel frantically searching for someone who simply wasn't there, calling, calling . . .

All these years later, he still did occasionally, even though he knew it was no use.

He could feel the Goa'ould smiling behind him. "Why are you showing me this?" he asked. "What's the point?"

"You failed again," Anubis said simply. "You were stupid enough to think you were safe, and you dug up the Stargate, and look what happened. Worse, it never even occurred to you that some other enemy might be able to use it. It was just a honkin' big rock—" Daniel winced at the painfully obvious Jack O'Neill impression—"and you had to have your fun. And this is what happened."

Daniel slid down into a seated position, leaning against the wall. "That's not true," he whispered, clenching his fists. Be quiet, he added silently for good measure to himself, because all Anubis was doing was repeating things he'd considered far too many times before, and they both knew it. "Shut UP!"

*Who?* Anubis asked silkily, making it quite obvious he could hear everything going on in Daniel's mind. *Whom do you want to silence—me, or yourself?*

"Only you," Daniel growled, straightening up. As he did so, his clothes—he had chosen to appear in Sam's living room in a t-shirt and jeans—shimmered and changed to a set of robes not unlike those of the younger self he had been watching a minute ago. He found their familiarity somewhat comforting.

Anubis cocked his head. "And you truly believe yourself capable of doing so? I most certainly do not."

"We appreciate your input. Have a nice day," Daniel muttered, and let loose. Anubis jerked slightly at the ferocity of the attack, but promptly answered it with a far more powerful one which went a good way towards knocking him off his feet. Daniel took a couple of seconds to recover before retaliating, more vicously than before.

Just a few yards away, Daniel was wandering aimlessly, so distraught that it was doubtful he would have noticed the battle going on a scant staff's length from him even had he been able to see it.

-----

General Hammond, who had regretfully but unavoidably disappeared to undertake the rest of his duties, reappeared half an hour after Sam woke up. "How's Dr. Jackson doing?"

"No change," Janet informed him. "His pulse has slowed a little bit more, but it's still steady."

"Do whatever you can for him, Doctor."

"I can't do anything," Janet pointed out, but Hammond was already gone.

"Optimism, please, doc," Jack instructed her reproachfully. "Just because Daniel here seems to be dying doesn't mean there's actually anything wrong with him."

"Indeed, I have never known even death to prove a permanent obstacle to Daniel Jackson," Teal'c observed helpfully, wholly missing the sarcasm.

"Thanks, T."

-----

Daniel was weakening, and he and Anubis were both perfectly aware of it. He wasn't in danger of being destroyed any time soon—at least, he didn't think so—but the combined emotional and physical assaults were taking their toll, and he was totally defenseless against the first of those tactics. His physical powers were having some effect on Anubis, but it just wasn't enough.

When another lull finally made an appearance, Daniel was in fact nearly exhausted. Had he needed to breathe, he would have been panting. As it was, he was definitely wavering, and no longer able to stop it. He'd have to find a way to resolve this soon, preferably in his favor.

At this point, though, oblivion was beginning to look like an interesting option. It didn't seem to be coming any time soon, though, and it really wasn't that interesting.

Anubis listened to Daniel's musings, showing every sign of enjoying them immensely. *Glad to hear you're finally beginning to get a good idea of your own worth, Daniel.* Having reestablished his telepathic abilities—not that there had been much doubt to begin with—he continued aloud. "Shall we go on, then? There are many events, of course, which will all support my case. But there is one I think you will find particularly interesting."

Daniel managed a weak smile. "I think I'd rather not, thank you."

"Really," Anubis said, making a show of mock civility. "I insist."

The now-deserted temple, like the other places they'd been, melted, brightened, shrank, became a tent. A relatively small canvas tent, on an otherwise inconsequential and anonymous desert planet, with a sharp, warm breeze tugging at the flap.

Daniel sank to his knees, recognizing it instantly, and buried his face in his hands. "Oh, no. Oh, God, please no . . ."

But he had to lift his head and watch, helplessly mesmerized, as the scene continued to appear before him. Two people materialized in the tent.

Only two?

It wasn't the same. Nearly, but not quite. Sha're/Amaunet was simply standing there, her left hand with the ribbon device hanging uselessly at her side.

And it was he, not Teal'c, who was pointing an active staff weapon at her.

"That's not how it happened," the Daniel kneeling in the corner insisted feebly.

"Isn't it?" Anubis asked. "Are you certain of that?"

Daniel shook his head slowly. "No," he admitted finally, watching as he (was it him?) fired on his own wife, who (unlike Jack) had not been beyond help . . . "No," he repeated, "I'm not sure."

She crumpled to the ground, dead.

"Even if it did happen the way you remember," Anubis continued relentlessly, "it really makes no difference. It was totally senseless to go in after her. You could so easily have waited for a better opportunity to rescue her, and yet for some inane reason you thought you could talk Amaunet out of her. You should have known that at least one of you would end up dead."

"Yes," murmured Daniel, finally realizing the truth even as he too fell to the ground. He had been fighting Anubis all this time, and the whole time it had been Anubis who was right.

Daniel curled up into a small, useless ball on the tent floor, just barely aware that the winds were beginning to swirl around him again. He didn't particularly care at this point.

Whatever was going to happen to him at this point—hopefully something involving death—he deserved it.

-----

Watching the display, Janet took in a deep, shuddering breath and informed the other three, "Pulse just dropped by another five or six beats per minute.

"Dammit . . ." Still desperately clutching Daniel's clammy hand in his own, Jack straightened abruptly in his chair. "Wait a second. Carter, you said these people could read minds, right?"

"Yeah." Sam's eyes widened suddenly. "Oh!"

Janet shrugged. "It's as good a plan as any."

"Are you suggesting we attempt to communicate with Daniel Jackson telepathically?" Teal'c asked.

"Exactly." Jack was nearly shouting in his excitement. "All right, everybody think good thoughts about Daniel as loud as you possibly can."

-----

Daniel was caught up in a whirling sandstorm. He was about to become a part of the sandstorm now. (He'd always loved the desert, anyway, and how much closer could you get to it than to become a part of it?)

And then a small voice came into his head, seeming to travel up through what used to be his left arm, and it was a silver-haired colonel who'd been through far too much for any one man: Hang in there, Danny. (With oh-so- familiar undertones of "Goddamned evil snakeheads . . .")

He reached back to the source, stretched out, heard more.

A Goa'ould servant turned comrade, with powerful emotions he never showed: Do not succumb to the false god, Daniel Jackson.

A blonde woman, the best mathemetician he'd ever met and the sister he'd never had: I believe in you, Daniel. You can beat him.

A petite, brunette miracle-working doctor: Daniel, you'd damn well better get through this because there's no way I'm letting you die in my infirmary yet another time.

He stretched out further, found more, even as the sand spun faster around him. Hundreds of people in the base, all of whom had been hurt by the Goa'ould, many by Anubis himself. Most of whom were friends of his, next best thing to family, who could never stand to lose him again.

Further—out of the planet now, through a solar system, an entire galaxy, of people who experienced death, disaster, kidnapping, enslavement, rape at the hands of the Goa'ould, whether the victims were themselves or loved ones. An entire galaxy of people who hated the Goa'ould—and especially Anubis, the most powerful and fearsome of the lot.

And, just as the desert was beginning to absorb him at last, Daniel fed on them. He felt their hate and rage, people who had lost their families, their freedom, even control of their own bodies, to those who claimed to be gods, and he fed on that hate and rage. Fed as well on the love the people of the SGC bore for him, and he found vast power in it all, and pulled it all into himself.

Daniel opened his eyes, stared for a second into those of his dead wife.

Then he finished gathering all the violence that the Goa'ould had fed into the universe and lashed out with it as hard and fast as he could.

He waited a couple of seconds to make sure the storm was well and truly dead.

Then Daniel Jackson went home.

-----

Just as they were beginning to think they had failed, a momentarily blinding flash of light filled the infirmary. An instant later, it faded to reveal Daniel curled up tightly on the floor, wearing Abydonian robes and shaking uncontrollably.

With a brief, bemused glance at the still-occupied bed, Jack got up and knelt on the floor beside him, trying very hard not to realize that Daniel was not only shaking, but actually flickering like a birthday candle in a wind tunnel. "How's it going, Spacemonkey?"

Daniel raised his head and smiled feebly. "I got him, Jack," he whispered triumphantly, and winked out of existence.