If Enterprise Had AIM
Part Two
By LikeAStone
Thank you to everyone who reviewed!!! Those made my day
Summary: Some crew(wo)men compare some of the senior staff.
Caveat: Please read this slowly. It is easy to get confused on who says what and all that.
Crewmen Chat56
***PromoteMePlease has entered the room
***EnterpriseAngel has entered the room
PromoteMePlease: Hello.
EnterpriseAngel: Hi.
***NoPipsYet has entered the room
EnterpriseAngel: Hey, NoPipsYet!
***StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: Ugh. What a day.
EnterpriseAngel: I had a great day
PromoteMePlease: That's because you had the day off, Ashley.
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: Yeah, I never get a day off.
NoPipsYet: Where's Nicole??? She promised she'd be here.
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: Nicole Morris?
NoPipsYet: Yup.
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: I thought she had target practice with Reed.
NoPipsYet: What's taking her so freakin long?
EnterpriseAngel: You know she has a crush on him, Matt.
NoPipsYet: No way. He's too stuffy. Besides, he has wrinkles.
PromoteMePlease: But he has that accent
EnterpriseAngel: And those muscles!!
PromoteMePlease: Oooh! Those muscles
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: And those eyes!!
PromoteMePlease: Yes! He has the best eyes
NoPipsYet: He's too short.
***SputNikki has entered the room
NoPipsYet: Hi, Nicole. You're late.
PromoteMePlease: Yeah, Matt has been worried about you.
NoPipsYet: Have not.
SputNikki: Don't worry. Lieutenant Reed just wanted to give me a few extra tips.
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: We were JUST talking about him.
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: We've concluded he's has the best accent, muscles, and eyes. Anything you want to add?
NoPipsYet: Oh, God.
NoPipsYet: You left out stuffy, wrinkly, and short.
SputNikki: He is not short
NoPipsYet: I tower over him.
SputNikki: At least he doesn't run into bulkheads like you, you big oaf
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: LOL
NoPipsYet: That only happened once.
SputNikki: Yeah, but it was SO funny
NoPipsYet: Can we talk about something else, please?
EnterpriseAngel: Sure. How about Reed's ass??
PromoteMePlease: Haha.
NoPipsYet: Not funny.
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: Ya know, Commander Tucker's ass isn't so bad.
EnterpriseAngel: Oooh, I KNOW!
NoPipsYet: **rolls eyes**
EnterpriseAngel: **gazes dreamily into space**
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: Yeah, and his accent is even better than Lt Reed's.
PromoteMePlease: No way. Reed's is definitely better
NoPipsYet: Tucker's a hick.
EnterpriseAngel: Nope, Tucker has a really great accent.
SputNikki: Nuh-uh. It's Reed.
NoPipsYet: Tuuuuuckeeeerrrrrr draaaaaaagggggsssss eeeeevvvvveeeeeerrrrrrryyyyttttthhhhiiiiinnngggg ouuuuuuutttttttttt tooooooo faaaarrrrrrrr.
NoPipsYet: And Reed is a bloody poof.
SputNikki: STFU, Matt. You're just jealous.
NoPipsYet: Of who?! Of WHAT?!
Sputnikki: Of Tucker. AND Reed.
NoPipsYet: No way.
NoPipsYet: I like my voice the way it is. At least I don't say "Innerprise."
NoPipsYet: And I like my skin wrinkle-free, thanks.
EnterpriseAngel: It's too bad that Reed's a senior officer and can't fraternize with us lowly crewwomen.
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: Yeah, I know!
NoPipsYet: He's probably gay anyway.
***NoPipsYet has been warned by EnterpriseAngel. NoPipsYet's warning level has increased 10%, from 0% to 10
***NoPipsYet has been warned by PromoteMePlease. NoPipsYet's warning level has increased 10%, from 10% to 20
***NoPipsYet has been warned by StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman. NoPipsYet's warning level has increased 10%, from 20% to 30
***NoPipsYet has been warned by SputNikki. NoPipsYet's warning level has increased 10%, from 30% to 40
NoPipsYet: OK, OK, stop, stop.
EnterpriseAngel: You just wish he was gay!!
PromoteMePlease: yeah, then maybe you could have a chance with him
NoPipsYet: Yes, it's really too bad that he's straight.
NoPipsYet: And that's he a senior officer.
NoPipsYet: And that he's stuffy, short and has wrinkles.
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: Oh, shut up!! You know he could take you
SputNikki: yeah
PromoteMePlease: I really wish he was a crewman though.
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: yeah. That would be cool.
EnterpriseAngel: Maybe we should get him demoted
SputNikki: Any ideas, Ashley?
PromoteMePlease: plant drugs in his quarters?
SputNikki: Can we get Tucker demoted as well?
EnterpriseAngel: haha
SputNikki: And Travis too?
NoPipsYet: While your at it, could you demote T'pol?
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: It would be illogical and an ineffecient use of time to demote the subcommander.
NoPipsYet: You guys are no fun. Who wants to fraternize with those guys anyway?
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: I do.
SputNikki: Me too.
NoPipsYet: That was rhetorical.
EnterpriseAngel: I'd want to fraternize with them.
NoPipsYet: Rhetorical means that you aren't supposed to answer it.
PromoteMePlease: yeah, me too, Ashley.
NoPipsYet: You all are pathetic.
PromoteMePlease: Who do you think would win in a fair fight?
NoPipsYet: Why don't you fraternize with a REAL man? **wiggles eyebrows**
EnterpriseAngel: Definitely Malcolm. He's the armory officer, after all.
NoPipsYet: He has the added advantage of being small – hard to hit. Small target, ya know.
SputNikki: Shut up, Pips.
PromoteMePlease: If they were in zero gravity, Travis would definitely win.
NoPipsYet: Sorry, Nikki. Forgive me?
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: What about Trip?
SputNikki: maybe.
NoPipsYet: Please? Cherry on top?
EnterpriseAngel: Maybe if Malcolm and Trip took on Travis together
SputNikki: Admit that Malcolm could kick your ass.
NoPipsYet: Do I HAVE to??
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: Who wins depends on where they are.
SputNikki: yes. Say it 5 times.
EnterpriseAngel: yeah, where are they?
NoPipsYet: **sigh**
PromoteMePlease: how about
EnterpriseAngel: yes?
NoPipsYet: **clears throat**
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: where?
NoPipsYet: **cracks fingers**
SputNikki: hurry up, Matt. Before I forget what I'm mad at you for.
PromoteMePlease: How about they're in decon, rubbing gel all over each other.
NoPipsYet: Malcolm Reed can kick my ass.
EnterpriseAngel: Oooh... who cares who would win?? Nice image. Thanks.
NoPipsYet: Malcolm Reed can kick my ass.
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: Yeah, have you seen those guys without their shirts?? Man, they are ripped.
NoPipsYet: Malcolm Reed can kick my ass.
PromoteMePlease: yeah, especially Mayweather.
EnterpriseAngel: yeah, but he flaunts it.
NoPipsYet: Malcolm Reed can kick my ass.
EnterpriseAngel: I kinda like how Malcolm is kinda modest – its like he doesn't even know how hot he is.
SputNikki: one more, Matt!
NoPipsYet: This is SO cruel.
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: Tucker is completely aware of his hotnessity though.
PromoteMePlease: That's not a word – but it certainly describes the commander.
EnterpriseAngel: yeah, except for when he wears those shirts
SputNikki: c'mon, Matt, just one more.
PromoteMePlease: yes, those shirts are so ugly. He looks so much better WITHOUT a shirt.
NoPipsYet: Malcolm Reed can kick my ass.
EnterpriseAngel: and without pants
PromoteMePlease: LOL
SputNikki: I forgive you.
NoPipsYet: Thank you.
SputNikki: Welcome.
SputNikki: I heard from a MACO – who shall remain anonymous – that Tucker is a really good kisser.
PromoteMePlease: hmmmm I wonder who that MACO could be.
EnterpriseAngel: yeah, I wonder.
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: who could it be. Who could it be. Hmmm.
SputNikki: Who do you think has slept with more women?
EnterpriseAngel: If aliens count then it would have to be Tucker.
PromoteMePlease: Even if aliens DON'T count, it would be Tucker.
NoPipsYet: That's my cue to leave. I really don't need to hear all this gossip.
EnterpriseAngel: Matt, you know Commander Manwhore has a sexy body. You know you want it.
NoPipsYet: I really hope that the Captain is administrating this chatroom and reads everything you said. Bye. Bye, Nicole.
SputNikki: Bye, Matt. See you at breakfast tomorrow.
NoPipsYet: Sweet Dreams.
***NoPipsYet has left the chatroom
EnterpriseAngel: So, Sput, who do you think is hotter – Malcolm, Trip, or Travis?
PromoteMePlease: Oh, come on, you know the answer to this.
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: Yeah, it is SO obvious.
SputNikki: Is it really that obvious?
EnterpriseAngel: Yup. D. None of the above – Matt Jenkins
SputNikki: Don't tell him
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: Don't worry. I won't. You two would make such a cute couple!! Even though his ass is not as cute as Trav's.
PromoteMePlease: But not as nice as Trip's
EnterpriseAngel: No way! Malcolm's ass is so much nicer
SputNikki: Nuh-uh. Malcolm is much too short and stuffy. Besides, he has wrinkles.
Congratulations to me! Longest chapter I have ever written
(Sorry if it was TOO long)
Please review. I mean, if you spent all that time reading it, you might as well tell me what you thought – even if it's just a number 1-10.
Thanks, guys!! And thanks for all my previous reviews!!! Those were awesome.
Also, if you sign in, I'll probably read some of your stuff. Because I love reading what my readers write.
P.S. my sincere apologies if you absolutely HATED this and I wasted a lot of your time.
Part Two
By LikeAStone
Thank you to everyone who reviewed!!! Those made my day
Summary: Some crew(wo)men compare some of the senior staff.
Caveat: Please read this slowly. It is easy to get confused on who says what and all that.
Crewmen Chat56
***PromoteMePlease has entered the room
***EnterpriseAngel has entered the room
PromoteMePlease: Hello.
EnterpriseAngel: Hi.
***NoPipsYet has entered the room
EnterpriseAngel: Hey, NoPipsYet!
***StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: Ugh. What a day.
EnterpriseAngel: I had a great day
PromoteMePlease: That's because you had the day off, Ashley.
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: Yeah, I never get a day off.
NoPipsYet: Where's Nicole??? She promised she'd be here.
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: Nicole Morris?
NoPipsYet: Yup.
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: I thought she had target practice with Reed.
NoPipsYet: What's taking her so freakin long?
EnterpriseAngel: You know she has a crush on him, Matt.
NoPipsYet: No way. He's too stuffy. Besides, he has wrinkles.
PromoteMePlease: But he has that accent
EnterpriseAngel: And those muscles!!
PromoteMePlease: Oooh! Those muscles
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: And those eyes!!
PromoteMePlease: Yes! He has the best eyes
NoPipsYet: He's too short.
***SputNikki has entered the room
NoPipsYet: Hi, Nicole. You're late.
PromoteMePlease: Yeah, Matt has been worried about you.
NoPipsYet: Have not.
SputNikki: Don't worry. Lieutenant Reed just wanted to give me a few extra tips.
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: We were JUST talking about him.
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: We've concluded he's has the best accent, muscles, and eyes. Anything you want to add?
NoPipsYet: Oh, God.
NoPipsYet: You left out stuffy, wrinkly, and short.
SputNikki: He is not short
NoPipsYet: I tower over him.
SputNikki: At least he doesn't run into bulkheads like you, you big oaf
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: LOL
NoPipsYet: That only happened once.
SputNikki: Yeah, but it was SO funny
NoPipsYet: Can we talk about something else, please?
EnterpriseAngel: Sure. How about Reed's ass??
PromoteMePlease: Haha.
NoPipsYet: Not funny.
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: Ya know, Commander Tucker's ass isn't so bad.
EnterpriseAngel: Oooh, I KNOW!
NoPipsYet: **rolls eyes**
EnterpriseAngel: **gazes dreamily into space**
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: Yeah, and his accent is even better than Lt Reed's.
PromoteMePlease: No way. Reed's is definitely better
NoPipsYet: Tucker's a hick.
EnterpriseAngel: Nope, Tucker has a really great accent.
SputNikki: Nuh-uh. It's Reed.
NoPipsYet: Tuuuuuckeeeerrrrrr draaaaaaagggggsssss eeeeevvvvveeeeeerrrrrrryyyyttttthhhhiiiiinnngggg ouuuuuuutttttttttt tooooooo faaaarrrrrrrr.
NoPipsYet: And Reed is a bloody poof.
SputNikki: STFU, Matt. You're just jealous.
NoPipsYet: Of who?! Of WHAT?!
Sputnikki: Of Tucker. AND Reed.
NoPipsYet: No way.
NoPipsYet: I like my voice the way it is. At least I don't say "Innerprise."
NoPipsYet: And I like my skin wrinkle-free, thanks.
EnterpriseAngel: It's too bad that Reed's a senior officer and can't fraternize with us lowly crewwomen.
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: Yeah, I know!
NoPipsYet: He's probably gay anyway.
***NoPipsYet has been warned by EnterpriseAngel. NoPipsYet's warning level has increased 10%, from 0% to 10
***NoPipsYet has been warned by PromoteMePlease. NoPipsYet's warning level has increased 10%, from 10% to 20
***NoPipsYet has been warned by StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman. NoPipsYet's warning level has increased 10%, from 20% to 30
***NoPipsYet has been warned by SputNikki. NoPipsYet's warning level has increased 10%, from 30% to 40
NoPipsYet: OK, OK, stop, stop.
EnterpriseAngel: You just wish he was gay!!
PromoteMePlease: yeah, then maybe you could have a chance with him
NoPipsYet: Yes, it's really too bad that he's straight.
NoPipsYet: And that's he a senior officer.
NoPipsYet: And that he's stuffy, short and has wrinkles.
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: Oh, shut up!! You know he could take you
SputNikki: yeah
PromoteMePlease: I really wish he was a crewman though.
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: yeah. That would be cool.
EnterpriseAngel: Maybe we should get him demoted
SputNikki: Any ideas, Ashley?
PromoteMePlease: plant drugs in his quarters?
SputNikki: Can we get Tucker demoted as well?
EnterpriseAngel: haha
SputNikki: And Travis too?
NoPipsYet: While your at it, could you demote T'pol?
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: It would be illogical and an ineffecient use of time to demote the subcommander.
NoPipsYet: You guys are no fun. Who wants to fraternize with those guys anyway?
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: I do.
SputNikki: Me too.
NoPipsYet: That was rhetorical.
EnterpriseAngel: I'd want to fraternize with them.
NoPipsYet: Rhetorical means that you aren't supposed to answer it.
PromoteMePlease: yeah, me too, Ashley.
NoPipsYet: You all are pathetic.
PromoteMePlease: Who do you think would win in a fair fight?
NoPipsYet: Why don't you fraternize with a REAL man? **wiggles eyebrows**
EnterpriseAngel: Definitely Malcolm. He's the armory officer, after all.
NoPipsYet: He has the added advantage of being small – hard to hit. Small target, ya know.
SputNikki: Shut up, Pips.
PromoteMePlease: If they were in zero gravity, Travis would definitely win.
NoPipsYet: Sorry, Nikki. Forgive me?
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: What about Trip?
SputNikki: maybe.
NoPipsYet: Please? Cherry on top?
EnterpriseAngel: Maybe if Malcolm and Trip took on Travis together
SputNikki: Admit that Malcolm could kick your ass.
NoPipsYet: Do I HAVE to??
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: Who wins depends on where they are.
SputNikki: yes. Say it 5 times.
EnterpriseAngel: yeah, where are they?
NoPipsYet: **sigh**
PromoteMePlease: how about
EnterpriseAngel: yes?
NoPipsYet: **clears throat**
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: where?
NoPipsYet: **cracks fingers**
SputNikki: hurry up, Matt. Before I forget what I'm mad at you for.
PromoteMePlease: How about they're in decon, rubbing gel all over each other.
NoPipsYet: Malcolm Reed can kick my ass.
EnterpriseAngel: Oooh... who cares who would win?? Nice image. Thanks.
NoPipsYet: Malcolm Reed can kick my ass.
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: Yeah, have you seen those guys without their shirts?? Man, they are ripped.
NoPipsYet: Malcolm Reed can kick my ass.
PromoteMePlease: yeah, especially Mayweather.
EnterpriseAngel: yeah, but he flaunts it.
NoPipsYet: Malcolm Reed can kick my ass.
EnterpriseAngel: I kinda like how Malcolm is kinda modest – its like he doesn't even know how hot he is.
SputNikki: one more, Matt!
NoPipsYet: This is SO cruel.
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: Tucker is completely aware of his hotnessity though.
PromoteMePlease: That's not a word – but it certainly describes the commander.
EnterpriseAngel: yeah, except for when he wears those shirts
SputNikki: c'mon, Matt, just one more.
PromoteMePlease: yes, those shirts are so ugly. He looks so much better WITHOUT a shirt.
NoPipsYet: Malcolm Reed can kick my ass.
EnterpriseAngel: and without pants
PromoteMePlease: LOL
SputNikki: I forgive you.
NoPipsYet: Thank you.
SputNikki: Welcome.
SputNikki: I heard from a MACO – who shall remain anonymous – that Tucker is a really good kisser.
PromoteMePlease: hmmmm I wonder who that MACO could be.
EnterpriseAngel: yeah, I wonder.
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: who could it be. Who could it be. Hmmm.
SputNikki: Who do you think has slept with more women?
EnterpriseAngel: If aliens count then it would have to be Tucker.
PromoteMePlease: Even if aliens DON'T count, it would be Tucker.
NoPipsYet: That's my cue to leave. I really don't need to hear all this gossip.
EnterpriseAngel: Matt, you know Commander Manwhore has a sexy body. You know you want it.
NoPipsYet: I really hope that the Captain is administrating this chatroom and reads everything you said. Bye. Bye, Nicole.
SputNikki: Bye, Matt. See you at breakfast tomorrow.
NoPipsYet: Sweet Dreams.
***NoPipsYet has left the chatroom
EnterpriseAngel: So, Sput, who do you think is hotter – Malcolm, Trip, or Travis?
PromoteMePlease: Oh, come on, you know the answer to this.
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: Yeah, it is SO obvious.
SputNikki: Is it really that obvious?
EnterpriseAngel: Yup. D. None of the above – Matt Jenkins
SputNikki: Don't tell him
StarFleetsFinestCrewwoman: Don't worry. I won't. You two would make such a cute couple!! Even though his ass is not as cute as Trav's.
PromoteMePlease: But not as nice as Trip's
EnterpriseAngel: No way! Malcolm's ass is so much nicer
SputNikki: Nuh-uh. Malcolm is much too short and stuffy. Besides, he has wrinkles.
Congratulations to me! Longest chapter I have ever written
(Sorry if it was TOO long)
Please review. I mean, if you spent all that time reading it, you might as well tell me what you thought – even if it's just a number 1-10.
Thanks, guys!! And thanks for all my previous reviews!!! Those were awesome.
Also, if you sign in, I'll probably read some of your stuff. Because I love reading what my readers write.
P.S. my sincere apologies if you absolutely HATED this and I wasted a lot of your time.
